Open Letters -- Add your own

levioosa

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

What's your favorite sexual position? Oooh, I thought we were talking about things that were none of each other's business. 

divarhd

 Ro041 said:

Dear Everyone Who Wants Free Legal Advice Because We Are Facebook Friends:

No, I don't know landlord/tenant law in New Mexico.

No, I don't know divorce law in Minnesota.  

No, I can't look over a lawsuit you were named in in Missouri and "just give [you] some guidance about how to respond."

Love,
Lawyer Who Has Never Asked You to Work For Free

And yes, those are real examples from this past week alone.

A-Freaking-MEN!

I get "Can you ask your Judge xyz....." (I'm the Judicial Assistant )

Alaska_RockGirl

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

charlotte989875

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

bleve0821

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

divarhd

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

I was very tempted to tell my FMIL that I don't want children when she said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married.

In the next breath she said she's not coming to our wedding if it's not in a Catholic Church... SMH

MissKittyDanger

knottiee43aef3a5f1823c8 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

I was very tempted to tell my FMIL that I don't want children when she said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married.

In the next breath she said she's not coming to our wedding if it's not in a Catholic Church... SMH

We were concerned about religious concerns because M's dad's side of the family is, but at the end of the day they said as long as we were happy they were happy.

Could you possibly say that to them?

MissKittyDanger

levioosa said:

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

What's your favorite sexual position? Oooh, I thought we were talking about things that were none of each other's business. 

AHAHAHAHA!!!
Actually one day M's mum caught him in a cranky mood and brought up grandkids, he said "thanks for ensuring I get laid mom!" {in a half snarky tone} and she realized that's basically what she was doing.
She backed off for a bit.

{side note: I tried saying that to my mum, and she came back with "you're welcome! just wanna make sure you're actually practicing " Sassy lady ...}

VarunaTT

Dear Problem Child:

I cannot help it, that outside of our committee setting, you decided to pop-off and lost b/c you're a bad nerd.  I am not going to apologize for calling you out on being a gatekeeper and being judgey of other nerds.

You can take your attitude, your complete incompetence at reading a situation, and your utter lack of diplomacy skills and sashay away.







And one last:

divarhd

MissKittyDanger said:

knottiee43aef3a5f1823c8 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

I was very tempted to tell my FMIL that I don't want children when she said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married.

In the next breath she said she's not coming to our wedding if it's not in a Catholic Church... SMH

We were concerned about religious concerns because M's dad's side of the family is, but at the end of the day they said as long as we were happy they were happy.

Could you possibly say that to them?

I'd like to say a lot of things to her but obviously I won't

FH & I discussed it a long time ago.  I'm a judge's assistant and we asked my judge to marry us, as in we asked her together.  There's loads of time still so FMIL and her issue will be addressed eventually.  But basically, it's not her wedding and if she's really going to miss her youngest son's wedding because of that, I'm sorry for her.

MissKittyDanger

knottiee43aef3a5f1823c8 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

knottiee43aef3a5f1823c8 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

charlotte989875 said:

Dear MissKittyDanger's Family, 
Can you please explain this patience to Charlotte's parents? Her H is out of a job in May, has nothing lined up, and now is NOT the time to have a baby. Please tell them to stop asking. 

Signed, 
Someone who is fed up with hearing "Lena needs a cousin!". 

"we're practicing"
"we're saving"
"fuck off"
"eventually"
"now is not the time"
"thanks for encouraging me to get laid"

Things M or I have said.

I was very tempted to tell my FMIL that I don't want children when she said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married.

In the next breath she said she's not coming to our wedding if it's not in a Catholic Church... SMH

We were concerned about religious concerns because M's dad's side of the family is, but at the end of the day they said as long as we were happy they were happy.

Could you possibly say that to them?

I'd like to say a lot of things to her but obviously I won't

FH & I discussed it a long time ago.  I'm a judge's assistant and we asked my judge to marry us, as in we asked her together.  There's loads of time still so FMIL and her issue will be addressed eventually.  But basically, it's not her wedding and if she's really going to miss her youngest son's wedding because of that, I'm sorry for her.

Oh yikes I hope she turns around and comes.

I'm sure it will be a wonderful ceremony anyways

Might I suggest changing your name and sticking around also!

TrixieJess

MissKittyDanger said:

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Dear Family & Friends;

Thank you for being supportive during M's lay off time and held your tongues on asking about grandkids. I can't tell you how amazing it feels not to be asked 20 thousand times during a visit.

Love;
The one who will eventually give you a grandchild and appreciates your patience!

Kudos to @MissKittyDanger for the first positive Open Letter.  It didn't even occur to me that a positive Open Letter could be a "thing" also.  Now I just feel like a bitch, lol.

There is underlying snark there, don't worry

I got that. It's a very Canadian thing  

Joney

Dear couple getting married,

Thank you for your brilliant use of a cash registry.  40K for a car, 10K for a honeymoon, and 3K for household appliances?  You betya!  You're not being tacky or gross at all, and your guests will definitely not feel like cash cows.  When you send out emails about your wedding, definitely put the link to your registry right at the top, so there's no missing how much money you're expecting -- you don't want this to get lost in the insignificant details like when and where.

From,

The wedding industry -- we convince couples to pay for services that are normally free 

kimmiinthemitten

Dear VP Pence,

I am currently traveling to Chicago on a work trip with 9 married men. There will be dining and drinking involved. I hope my lack of a Y chromosome doesn't dissolve the sanctity of any of our marriages. 

Kindly, 
A woman who dares to believes she's an equal to her male colleagues. 

charlotte989875

kimmiinthemitten said:

Dear VP Pence,

I am currently traveling to Chicago on a work trip with 9 married men. There will be dining and drinking involved. I hope my lack of a Y chromosome doesn't dissolve the sanctity of any of our marriages. 

Kindly, 
A woman who dares to believes she's an equal to her male colleagues. 

Co-Signed, 
A women also traveling with a male co-worker this weekend. Who didn't ask her husband for permission. 

short+sassy

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

lovesclimbing

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Alaska_RockGirl

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

short+sassy

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

Granted, I'm coming from a place where I haven't seen the specific pamphlet.  But, unless I'm in my OB/GYN's office and he/she just told me I'm pregnant, I don't want a pamphlet that says in it somehwere, "Congratulations, you're about to become a Mom."  Because it's creepy.  And not true.

I'm assuming it is required to be given in a variety of situations?  But if "with a marriage license" is one of them and if there is other general "healthy choice" info in it,  than it should be more universal with verbage like "If you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant, here are ways you can protect your health and the health of your fetus..."

bleve0821

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

It is a stretch of the imagination to say that any pamphlet that is handed out with a marriage license is not linked to weddings/marriage.  There is an appropriate time and place for educating individuals on FAS.  That time and place is not coincident with a marriage license.

Is this something that is handed out to males who obtain a marriage license?   Or is this just something that's handed out to the woman applying for the license?

The state of Alaska does realize that children are conceived outside of marriages, too?  How are those women being similarly "educated" on the dangers of FAS?  

Alaska_RockGirl

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

Granted, I'm coming from a place where I haven't seen the specific pamphlet.  But, unless I'm in my OB/GYN's office and he/she just told me I'm pregnant, I don't want a pamphlet that says in it somehwere, "Congratulations, you're about to become a Mom."  Because it's creepy.  And not true.

I'm assuming it is required to be given in a variety of situations?  But if "with a marriage license" is one of them and if there is other general "healthy choice" info in it,  than it should be more universal with verbage like "If you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant, here are ways you can protect your health and the health of your fetus..."

On mobile, not the best photo but all I have at woek: 

Alaska_RockGirl

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

It is a stretch of the imagination to say that any pamphlet that is handed out with a marriage license is not linked to weddings/marriage.  There is an appropriate time and place for educating individuals on FAS.  That time and place is not coincident with a marriage license.

Is this something that is handed out to males who obtain a marriage license?   Or is this just something that's handed out to the woman applying for the license?

The state of Alaska does realize that children are conceived outside of marriages, too?  How are those women being similarly "educated" on the dangers of FAS?  

The pamphlet accompanies all marriage licenses, no matter who is picking it up. I think it is perfectly appropriate for an OB/GYN office. I do not think it should be handed out with a marriage license.

Of course we also have a state senator who thinks pregnancy tests dispensers in bar bathrooms are a great way to prevent women from drinking while pregnant. https://www.adn.com/health/article/state-funded-pregnancy-test-dispenser-debut-anchorage/2015/02/27/.

short+sassy

Alaska_RockGirl said:

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

It is a stretch of the imagination to say that any pamphlet that is handed out with a marriage license is not linked to weddings/marriage.  There is an appropriate time and place for educating individuals on FAS.  That time and place is not coincident with a marriage license.

Is this something that is handed out to males who obtain a marriage license?   Or is this just something that's handed out to the woman applying for the license?

The state of Alaska does realize that children are conceived outside of marriages, too?  How are those women being similarly "educated" on the dangers of FAS?  

The pamphlet accompanies all marriage licenses, no matter who is picking it up. I think it is perfectly appropriate for an OB/GYN office. I do not think it should be handed out with a marriage license.

Of course we also have a state senator who thinks pregnancy tests dispensers in bar bathrooms are a great way to prevent women from drinking while pregnant. https://www.adn.com/health/article/state-funded-pregnancy-test-dispenser-debut-anchorage/2015/02/27/.

Agreed!  That looks like a great pamphlet for a woman who is already pregnant...and her OB/GYN can give that to her.

Why stop there?  Women should have to show their "negative" pregnancy test to all bartenders before being served alcohol\\sarcasm.

I'm not trying to make light of FAS.  But it seems like the money would be better spent with more general billboard or commercial advertisements.  Because, gee, there are many women who drink alcohol and never/rarely set foot in a bar. 

OurWildKingdom

Dear Otherwise Awesome Co-Worker:

For the love of whatever God you believe in, please change the text alert on your phone. That bird whistle is annoying as hell.

Cheers, 
OWK

missJeanLouise

Dear Dh,

thank you for being you. I left dinner tonight being angry at you in retaliation for friend's DH's behavior but, because you are awesome, everything is good. Every time I lose faith in marriage/ relationships/ love/ etc. you calmly talk me through it and I love you for it. I hope we never lose that. Xoxo

-mjl 

kvruns

Dear H

i know you aren't feeling well but why do you insist on laying on the couch moaning and huffing and puffing while you are sick. Go lay in bed where you are more comfortable and closer to the bathroom. Not to mention I don't want you waking up the baby by continuing to go to the one next to his room the rest of the night. 

levioosa

Dear SO, 

I love you to pieces, but if you ever kiss me again and then immediately say, "I don't feel well--I think I'm getting strep," I will murder you. 

Love,

My Extremely Compromised Immune System

*Barbie*

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

I guess Bristol Palin got her pamphlets too early. 

divarhd

Alaska_RockGirl said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

lovesclimbing said:

short+sassy said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations

I would have creepy chills reading that and my first thought would be, "WTF, State of Alaska?!?  Do you know something I don't know?"

atomicblonde said:

Alaska_RockGirl said:

Dear State of Alaska,

It is a waste of time and effort to include a "Healthy Choices" pamphlet with each marriage license granted. I do not plan on having children and the second page stating "Congratulations! You're about to become a Mom" seems to equate a wedding with immediate childbearing. I do realize it is state law and I will contact my state representative but this is ridiculous. I suppose it could be my fault for living in a red state.

Thanks for the marriage license having the spouse option at least, that's what FH and I both checked.

Sincerely,

Heteronormative woman who isn't following societal expectations 

Boxesboxesboxestkyousuckboxesboxes

I cannot begin to explain how rage-y the bolded makes me.  That's an assumption that's above and beyond disgusting. Marriage=/=parenthood.  Parenthood is no one's business but the couple's, and for anyone, friend or total stranger, to make such an old-fashioned declaration is meddlesome, invasive, and infuriating.

To be clear, the pamphlet is a separate one that is not linked to weddings, although it is handed out with the license. It's not a "you're getting married and having kids" pamphlet. Alaska has the highest rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in the US and some of if not the highest rates of domestic violence. I completely understand why they include it. 

Then they should hand it out to women of childbearing age at all liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. Weddings =/= childbearing +/- alcohol. Which is entirely what they are implying by handing it out with a marriage license to anyone getting married. Including couples beyond childbearing age and couples choosing to not have children. Handing it out with the marriage license is paternalistic and not appropriate, no matter what our state is infamous for. I completely agree that Alaska has a problem with alcohol. But me receiving my marriage license is not when the state should require a pamphlet to be handed out on motherhood and not drinking while pregnant.

Signed,

Still Unhappy About It.

Granted, I'm coming from a place where I haven't seen the specific pamphlet.  But, unless I'm in my OB/GYN's office and he/she just told me I'm pregnant, I don't want a pamphlet that says in it somehwere, "Congratulations, you're about to become a Mom."  Because it's creepy.  And not true.

I'm assuming it is required to be given in a variety of situations?  But if "with a marriage license" is one of them and if there is other general "healthy choice" info in it,  than it should be more universal with verbage like "If you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant, here are ways you can protect your health and the health of your fetus..."

On mobile, not the best photo but all I have at woek: 

I woulda handed that tripe right back with a "thank you, b!&$%^, but no thank you."

sparklepants41

Dear bladder:
I do not have time to pee every 30-45 minutes. And when my morning/evening commute each lasts an hour or more, this is highly inconvenient. It's also irritating to have to leave a meeting. If you could please get yourself sorted out I would really appreciate it. 

Thank you,
Sparkle[dry]pants