90-Day Fiance discussions

Ro041

Speaking of David, I thought his behavior at the Tell All was very odd.  It seemed to me like he wanted to be in the thick of everything and had a ton of opinions about everyone else.  I suspect he is loving the limelight.  

kvruns

Ro041 said:

Speaking of David, I thought his behavior at the Tell All was very odd.  It seemed to me like he wanted to be in the thick of everything and had a ton of opinions about everyone else.  I suspect he is loving the limelight.  

I thought the same thing! It was like who made you king of the show. Maybe he thinks he is the old and wise person so he can chime in??

NBSquared2017

Ro041 said:

Speaking of David, I thought his behavior at the Tell All was very odd.  It seemed to me like he wanted to be in the thick of everything and had a ton of opinions about everyone else.  I suspect he is loving the limelight.  

Preach. I think he was doing it to keep the heat off of himself. He really had the nerve to talk about Azain not having a job? Boy, you better keep it moving!

WinstonsGirl

Ro041 said:

Speaking of David, I thought his behavior at the Tell All was very odd.  It seemed to me like he wanted to be in the thick of everything and had a ton of opinions about everyone else.  I suspect he is loving the limelight.  

Maybe he knows this show is currently the only meal ticket he’s getting ‘paid’ for, and he better earn his keep if he wants to stay on future seasons

Ro041

I was surprised when I read that the couples only get like $5,000 for the whole season.  They only pay the American and not the fiance also.  I could see that for the initial season but for subsequent seasons, I would think they would be able to demand more money, like the Teen Moms do.

short+sassy

Ro041 said:

I was surprised when I read that the couples only get like $5,000 for the whole season.  They only pay the American and not the fiance also.  I could see that for the initial season but for subsequent seasons, I would think they would be able to demand more money, like the Teen Moms do.

It does seem pretty paltry!  Though I've heard they also pay all the travel expenses.  And pay the expenses whether the American is going to the foreign country or the foreigner is coming to the U.S.  That would be a big savings.

Ro041

Did anyone watch the new episode last night?

******SPOILERS*****

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The guy who went to the Philippines - yikes.  So she isn't a Catfish but she is (by her own admission) only entertaining the idea of being with him to escape poverty.  My heart goes out to her and to anyone who feels like they have to make a decision like that.  Also, she called him chubby (or fat or something like that) when she first saw him.  I almost died!

The guy who went to Columbia - double yikes.  She isn't a Catfish either, but I don't believe it.  Something was totally off about their interaction.  And an online sleuth translated the text messages shown in the show and he begs her to meet him "as friends."  There is seriously some shadiness happening here and I don't think they are actually dating.

The woman from Georgia - triple yikes.  I had to watch her get all handsy and I didn't feel good about it....

NM Woman and Tiny Footballer - he was adorable this episode.  He fussed over Lucy so much and he really seemed stressed to make things perfect.  I like him.  

Jesse and Darcey - I need this storyline to be over.  

Paul and Karine - I thought she was so sweet during their convo with her parents.  I like her more and more as time passes.

Generally - I hate how TLC makes these episodes 2 hours when they don't have enough content to fill the time.  Stop belaboring the plots and get to it!

short+sassy

I felt bad for the Filipina woman also.  She looked really uncomfortable and I think his over-enthusiasm about her was making it worse.  I hadn't caught it before, but apparently they've only been chatting for a few weeks before he went over there!  Yikes.  I got the same impression from her that I did from the Nigerian guy.  That they both mildly like the American they're having a romance with, but wouldn't normally be with that person.  And are trying to make the best out of their biggest chance to get to America.

Just like the Virginia guy, the Georgia woman was also being way too over-excited and I think that was creeping out her Nigerian man.  I also found it interesting that he kept equating her "energy" with masculinity.  I foresee that being another problem between them.  He makes it sound like, in Nigeria, women are supposed to sit at home, have no opinions, shut up and be obedient.

I was also suspicious that the meet-up between OH guy/Columbian woman was a Catfish-seeming set-up done by the show.  Partially that.  Partially, I think the relationship is only in his mind and he went over there without any encouragement from her.  She seemed really skittish and even said something about (to the camera) that he was "too much".  Which I took to mean he was too serious, too fast.  He seemed like the male version of Courtney, from Courtney and Antonio, lol.  Like, DUDE, get a grip!  She can't even be bothered to spend 10 seconds texting you back, after you flew all day to see her.

NM Woman and Tiny Footballer -- he seems like a good guy.  It was really sweet all the stuff he set up in that room to make it a baby's room, just for the visit.  But then he was so insecure and got overwhelmed so easily.  And would literally run away somewhere else in the house when it became too much.  He did that twice, lol!

Paul and Karine -- I was shocked to see her parents smiling and happy at the end of the "interrogation".  They have always looked really dour.  I wonder if that is because they know Paul better now and are more comfortable.  Though you'd think that would make them even more dour, lol.  He is one creepy, controlling guy.   

Jesse and Darcy, smh.  Their whole relationship:

"Fine!  Leave!  It's over, I'm out of here!"

(10 minutes later)

"I'm sorry I left like that.  I love you so much!"  "I love you, too!"

WinstonsGirl

short+sassy said:

NBSquared2017 said:

Ro041 said:

I keep watching the Family Chantel fight and I cannot believe that Chantel is claiming that Pedro started the fight with River.  How much she defends them is beyond me.

Right? It's crazy. He was clearly the aggressor in the situation by yelling the N word. Serious lack of accountability. Also - I hate when they try and speak Spanish lol  

I don't so much mind, on the rare occasion, if they are actually trying to be accommodating by speaking Spanish.

But when the mother, at the end of the episode with the fight, was yelling in Spanish about them being bad and calling for Immigration.  Oh HELL NO!  That is bold-faced racist and xenophobic.  Against her Son-IL, no less. 

WTF is wrong with Chantel?  On what planet did anyone think that dinner was a good idea, smh.  She should have, at the very least, expected tons of animosity and a screaming fight.  Also, she already knows her parents can't stand Pedro.  She's always talking about how much she wants to fix that relationship.  But then, any time Pedro disappoints her, it's running home to family to cry to them about it.  Does she have no understanding that she is just fueling the flames?

She reminds me of my MIL, who is the nicest sweetest person.  But her dog is territorial and has attacked our dog in the past for being on 'her' turf.  MIL still thinks that she can put them together and tell the to 'go be friends now', and they'll listen.  So many of these couples think that they can just wish their families/partners to get along and it'll happen.  Yeah, not really

NBSquared2017

Soo...I can't with these people from Before the 90 Days - they are the worst.

Angela & Michael - I respect that she is trying, I really do. However, when you go to another country you should try your best to respect their culture. I could not believe that she ate some snail and then had Michael fake kiss her and she spit the chewed up food in his mouth. WTF. I sort of felt bad for her when they were clothes shopping as she is clearly insecure about her size and doesn’t want to draw attention to herself. Michael seems like he cares about her.

Jon & Rachel – hard pass on these two – especially since I know they are already married. They are boring and trying to make their storyline interesting by bringing up the bar fight over and over again. Yawn.

Ricky & Melissa – Lawd…just a mess. I feel bad for Ricky as I think he is truly addicted to love. He needs to be with someone, which is okay – but you have to learn to take the hint. Your date kept you waiting for almost 3 hours after you flew all the way to meet her and then blew you off all day and are not picking up the phone. If I were him, I would throw in the towel. She’s just not that into you.

Tarik & Hazel – I respect Tarik. I think he really cares about Hazel, but I don’t think the feeling is mutual. She was very vocal about getting to America because Tarik is living better than she. I respect Tarik for being honest about his faith and not just saying what he needs to say to get her parents blessing (I’m looking at you, David and Annie)

Paul & Karine – Ugh. I’m not a mental health care professional, but Paul seems a bit off to me. He’s sort of controlling and paranoid. This episode is the first time I had issues with Karine. She essentially admitted she wanted to trap him with a baby. They two of them don’t even speak the same language, but they want to raise a child. WTF

Jessie & Darcey – Why are these two together? Jessie is a bit controlling, but Darcey definitely stirs the pot. They are ALWAYS arguing. Is it for television? Are they this dysfunctional? I thought it was an interesting dynamic between Darcey and her twin sister. Her sister seems like the dominant one and seemed to pick up on the weaknesses in their relationship. It’s almost like she was happy to know there were issues. They need to end their relationship. They are the worst.  

short+sassy

@NBSquared2017, I very much agree with your assessments!  And thanks for including everyone's names.  I'm still not quite at the point where I can keep the new couples straight, lol.

I'm also disappointed with this season.  The couples just aren't as compelling as previously.  Jon and Rachel are already married and their story is only "okay" anyway.  Though I suppose it is nice to see a couple who is fairly normal, because I suspect that's how it is the majority of the time.  I wouldn't even call Ricky and Melissa a couple, lol.  The Jessie and Darcey story has just been beaten into the ground.  Note to TLC: arguing isn't very exciting when it is the same, boring fight over and over again.

Angela and Michael:  That whole snail and the kissing thing was so gross and inappropriate.  I don't know what the sauce was, but snail doesn't even have much flavor.  Though it does have an odd texture.  Either way, just chew it a little and swallow.  Do that for a few of them and then feign being full.  That's the polite thing to do.  That's a strategy she should have learned in childhood when her mom made her eat something she didn't like, lol.

On the clothing thing, I guess I just didn't see what was wrong with them getting matchy-matchy outfits, which is what Michael said is done in Nigeria.  On the one hand, I understand her wanting to be her own person.  But, on the other, she wouldn't have to wear the outfit every day.  Maybe a couple times to make him happy.  It's just clothing.  I also felt bad that she kept saying over and over that she was self-conscious of her size.  But it looked like that was the kind of place that would make a custom dress.  Then she smacked him a few times when he told the salesperson she was worried about being too fat.  Geez, lady!  He was just repeating what you had been saying about yourself!  He could have said it more nicely, but English isn't his first language.  And don't slap him!  Even lightly.  WTF.

Tarik and Hazel:  I like both of them.  Just think they are misguided to be all gung-ho to get married, when they barely even know each other.  I find the relationship a bit sad, because neither one of them is in love with the other one.  Not even Tarik, despite his words.  He's lonely and wants companionship.  He prefers Asian women.  So he found a pretty Asian woman, who wants to come to America.  She's desperate to come to America and found an American that fancies her.  I do think they at least like each other.  So I hope love will form in the future.  But, unfortunately, they are both coming from places of desperation.

Paul and Karine:  Speaking of desperation, Karine suddenly becoming hell-bent to have a child is disturbing!  With the main reason being to "tie him down" more.  Yeeaahhh.  That's always a good reason to have a child//s.  It reminds me of couples who are having troubles in their marriage and decide to have a baby because "that will fix things!"  I was cracking up as it began to dawn on Paul what a child Karine still is.  Girl, if you expect to be a SAHM in America while Paul brings home the bacon, you better learn how to get off your a** and wash a dish and pick stuff up.  Quite frankly, Paul needs to put his foot down about starting a family right now.  Sounds like he isn't working while he is in Brazil and is living on savings.  They can't afford another mouth to feed.  

climbingsingle

Paul and Karine - the conversation about having a family killed me. She wants to have a kid because it will improve their relationship and they'll stop fighting. Yup, that's exactly how it works. I get that she's 21, but Paul is in his 30s. He must know better. Him walking around in the khaki pants and tie KILLS ME. 

The guy that went to Columbia - when he was on the phone with his friend, he was totally lying. She did not try to kiss him. I don't know if he really believes that or if he was trying to save face. Also, did you guys peep that outfit he was wearing? Camo shirt AND camo pants. WHY? 

The GA woman and the Nigerian and so awkward to watch. 

NBSquared2017

climbingwife said:

Paul and Karine - the conversation about having a family killed me. She wants to have a kid because it will improve their relationship and they'll stop fighting. Yup, that's exactly how it works. I get that she's 21, but Paul is in his 30s. He must know better. Him walking around in the khaki pants and tie KILLS ME. 

The guy that went to Columbia - when he was on the phone with his friend, he was totally lying. She did not try to kiss him. I don't know if he really believes that or if he was trying to save face. Also, did you guys peep that outfit he was wearing? Camo shirt AND camo pants. WHY? 

The GA woman and the Nigerian and so awkward to watch. 

I read somewhere that Melissa was looking for him, but could not find him because he was in all camo and could not see him 

short+sassy

climbingwife said:

Paul and Karine - the conversation about having a family killed me. She wants to have a kid because it will improve their relationship and they'll stop fighting. Yup, that's exactly how it works. I get that she's 21, but Paul is in his 30s. He must know better. Him walking around in the khaki pants and tie KILLS ME. 

The guy that went to Columbia - when he was on the phone with his friend, he was totally lying. She did not try to kiss him. I don't know if he really believes that or if he was trying to save face. Also, did you guys peep that outfit he was wearing? Camo shirt AND camo pants. WHY? 

The GA woman and the Nigerian and so awkward to watch. 

I did notice that!  He looked like he was ready to go hunt game in the surrounding jungle, lol.

kvruns

im partway through the episode but my thoughts:

Darcy and Jesse: every time I see them, mostly him, I want to throw something at the TV. I hate his controlling ass so much. Not saying Darcy is innocent but him always saying She needs to fix herself is not cool 

Ricky: dude the girl isn’t into you. You shouldn’t have gone to Colombia 

NBSquared2017

kvruns said:

im partway through the episode but my thoughts:

Darcy and Jesse: every time I see them, mostly him, I want to throw something at the TV. I hate his controlling ass so much. Not saying Darcy is innocent but him always saying She needs to fix herself is not cool 

Ricky: dude the girl isn’t into you. You shouldn’t have gone to Colombia 

Ricky is delusional. As CF stated - she did not go in for a kiss! 

kvruns

I was dying when he was telling his friend she went in for the kiss and then they're replaying the clip and it's like nope, not at all dude. 

kvruns

After finishing the episode, yea I'm done with Paul and Karinne. Last year it was fun to watch them but this year it's just like cmon you both are nuts and I can't believe neither has learned the other's language and they still communicate with the app (at least it is voice and not reading now...). 

Rachel and Footballer - idk, kind of boring although part of me cringes about his violent past (I think that is what he was in trouble for) and being around the baby.

NBSquared2017

kvruns said:

After finishing the episode, yea I'm done with Paul and Karinne. Last year it was fun to watch them but this year it's just like cmon you both are nuts and I can't believe neither has learned the other's language and they still communicate with the app (at least it is voice and not reading now...). 

Rachel and Footballer - idk, kind of boring although part of me cringes about his violent past (I think that is what he was in trouble for) and being around the baby.

This is what's crazy. You want to have a child, but you don't speak the same language? It's so bizarre. He gives me the creeps!

Ro041

I am watching the episode right now....Jessie saying he won't fold his NY style pizza and eat it because it's not etiquette??  Uhhhhh ok.

short+sassy

Ro041 said:

I am watching the episode right now....Jessie saying he won't fold his NY style pizza and eat it because it's not etiquette??  Uhhhhh ok.

And then he walked out of the restaurant, after their fight, without even grabbing a slice?!?  Sacrilege!

Dude!  That's NYC pizza.  I don't care how upset you are.  You grab a slice on your way out, lol.

NBSquared2017

short+sassy said:

Ro041 said:

I am watching the episode right now....Jessie saying he won't fold his NY style pizza and eat it because it's not etiquette??  Uhhhhh ok.

And then he walked out of the restaurant, after their fight, without even grabbing a slice?!?  Sacrilege!

Dude!  That's NYC pizza.  I don't care how upset you are.  You grab a slice on your way out, lol.

I can't take him seriously when he's mad- especially with his accent. It cracks me up when he says "fodder" instead of father lol

Ro041

OK so I paused the preview for the next episode and Ricky sent a text that roughly translates to, "Ximena Hi, I am Ricky.  Hopefully you remember me.  I am in Columbia."  I remember reading recently that he was being catfished because he was seen in Columbia with a woman with dark hair.  I wonder who this is....

I also read I potential spoiler, so don't read on if you don't want to know.....
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Supposedly Paul gave Karine a baby doll, a la Trey from Sex and the City!!!  I really hope hope hope this ends up happening.  Lol.

NBSquared2017

short+sassy said:

Ro041 said:

I am watching the episode right now....Jessie saying he won't fold his NY style pizza and eat it because it's not etiquette??  Uhhhhh ok.

And then he walked out of the restaurant, after their fight, without even grabbing a slice?!?  Sacrilege!

Dude!  That's NYC pizza.  I don't care how upset you are.  You grab a slice on your way out, lol.

I can't take him seriously when he's mad- especially with his accent. It cracks me up when he says "fodder" instead of father lol

NBSquared2017

What are your thoughts on Sunday’s episode?

Angela & Michael – uuuuuuugh. I’m sorry, but she’s horrible. I thought she was a nice person, but her true side is starting to show. When you are dating someone from a different culture, I think it’s best to try and be appeasing. I understand not wanting to give up smoking, but he wants her to dress according to their customs. I know she’s an independent woman, but damn. Dude, it’s not worth it.

Jon & Rachel – okay – there are some red flags here. He says he’s not a violent person, yet he’s been in 50-60 fights? Also, she left her baby with a man (husband) that she barely even knows. I started doing some research on them and apparently, they met before 90-day fiancé? I think they are gaming the show and they annoy me.

Ricky & Melissa & Xiema – I told DH that something was just not right about him meeting with Melissa. How can you be so in love with someone and ready to propose and then can jump to another woman so quickly?? He’s in love with the idea of being in love.

Tarik & Hazel – Tarik’s brother went too far. That was the most hurtful thing to say about judging Hazel’s character because she gave up custody of her child. Poverty by American standards is different than poverty in 3rd world countries and I assume there are no social service programs to help. I’m sure that was not an easy decision for her to make.

Paul & Karine – I’m over these two. He’s clearly an a**hole and she’s too young to recognize his behavior. Her parents see the issues, but apparently are okay with the relationship moving forward.

Jessie & Darcey – Can these two finish a meal? They are so bad for one another and he’s a raging psychopath. All that fighting over a steak? How is that tolerable in a relationship? Just let it goooo. 

short+sassy

@NBSquared2017, pretty much what your thoughts are, lol.

It pains me to say this, but I think there is a lot "fake/exaggeration" going on this season.  That seems to happen to a lot of reality shows (sigh).  They start out mostly real but then, as the show producers start seeing what gets rating, they start "faking" similar scenarios.  Except now, the show doesn't feel real anymore.  Because most of it isn't.

Angela and Michael -- He came out a lot more heavily in this episode that, yes, he is in it primarily as an escape to America.  He sure is putting up with a lot for that.  I hope Angela wakes up, smells the coffee, and realizes that they aren't right for each other.  There are some pretty fundamental differences going on.

Jon and Rachel -- I've also read they are gaming the show.  Met before these episodes.  And are already married.  So some of their storyline is fake.  Or at least "recreated".  And, yeah, 50-60 fights!?!?  Yikes!  But Jon was just "defending himself".  All 50-60 times, apparently.  Right.

Ricky & Melissa Xiema -- I think Melissa was just initial drama for this storyline.  Do you notice how she was never interviewed "behind the scenes"?  But Xiema was.  My conspiracy theory?  I think it's been Xiema all along.  And whoever Melissa is was hired by the show to create a few episodes of "is she a catfish?"  Obviously, with Ricky going along.  And now we have the add'l. drama of "Uh oh, Ricky has to admit to Xiema that he didn't come to Columbia just to see her."

Tarik and Hazel --  I'm calling "fake" on the brother.  I mean, I think it's really Tarik's brother.  But the whole flying to the Philippines just to be a d**k to Hazel has to have been created by the show.  Because, otherwise, who does that?  Nobody.  And, even if true, why would Tarik even remotely allow it?  He wouldn't.  It's just too much cray-cray for me to think it's real.  Though I do totally agree that it is angering to watch a fellow American be so blasé about the struggles people have in more poverty-stricken countries.  You just can't compare apples and oranges like that.

Paul and Karine -- I think Karine and her family's true colors are starting to come out, with the upcoming wedding.  They all know Paul is awful, but he is her one ticket to America.  I initially thought she actually cared for Paul...for some reason I couldn't understand, lol.  But the vibe I'm getting now is "get me out of my remote village".  She is such a child, too!  It's pathetic that she doesn't seem to lift a finger to do any housework or errands.  That is a HARD habit to break and I'm starting to think that Paul is the one who should run!

Jessie and Darcy -- At least the show isn't spending too much time on them, lol.  I noticed it has only been a short scene, here and there.  And it's always a fight at a mealtime, lol.  That much formulaic=fake/exaggerated. 

kvruns

NBSquared2017 said:

Jessie & Darcey – Can these two finish a meal? They are so bad for one another and he’s a raging psychopath. All that fighting over a steak? How is that tolerable in a relationship? Just let it goooo. 

maybe that is part of the weight loss strategy - fight so you never finish a meal so you're not tempted to eat too much

edit: when they are grocery shopping and they get that tiny carrot cake for all of them to share?? Isn't that an individual size lol 

And why did no one mention Tarik's see through, black fishnet shirt over a white wifebeater ?!?!?!?!?!

kvruns

I always wonder what these people do for jobs - not just the ones who travel overseas but the ones living overseas too. Who can take weeks off like this all the time

short+sassy

@kvruns, if it's a good carrot cake, it's individual sized, lol.  It struck me as small also, to the point where I even thought about it.  It wouldn't be too bad for four people, if no one is expecting more than one piece.  Plus, Jesse seems like the kind of guy who is a health nut zealot and wouldn't dare eat any/much of such a sugar laden, "sinful" item.

I realize these are people, not companies.  But I agree.  I'd love to see some of their "balance sheets" and "income/loss" statements, lol.

My "real life" experience with the K-1 visa process.  Well, not mine.  But a friend's, lol.  I had a friend who was trying to marry a woman in Laos.  They met online.  He made an okay income, not great.  But he didn't have kids.  Had never been married.  He had some savings and then spent a few months living frugally to save more.  Then he went to Laos for three weeks to visit her.

From what he told me, Americans who want to bring someone over on a K-1 visa have to spend 3 weeks with that person.  I don't know if it has to be in that person's country, though that was the impression I had.  It also doesn't have to be a 3-week chunk.  It can be broken out into multiple trips, as long as the total time equals at least 3 weeks.  But, for him, it was easier and cheaper to do it as a chunk.  He had the vacation time available on his job and they let him take that much time at once.

kvruns

I think  I'm agreeing with the Ricky and Ximena thing because they embraced and acted like a "real" couple vs the weirdness with Melissa.