N00b! Hi!

anythinggold

oceana: that's what this ridiculous thread is about -- I was on because I'm trying to map out a budget so I know how much to save over the next two years for a wedding.

yaga: A lot of the girls do seem really cool, and I'm in the same boat at work. I also moved an awkward distance from my friends when I moved in with the BF (just far enough that they hate coming out here and I hate going up there!) so I was hoping this would help.

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:d85cee5b-4d65-4515-8fac-6ba9a5092310">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]oceana: <strong>that's what this ridiculous thread is about -- I was on because I'm trying to map out a budget so I know how much to save over the next two years for a wedding.</strong> yaga: A lot of the girls do seem really cool, and I'm in the same boat at work. I also moved an awkward distance from my friends when I moved in with the BF (just far enough that they hate coming out here and I hate going up there!) so I was hoping this would help.
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I don't think this thread is ridiculous at all. I think all the PPs gave you some very good advice. Hopefully you really take it to heart.

anythinggold

oceana: I did discuss it with my SO and made sure I wasn't the BSC one. We're happy with where we are, and although I happily go to people for advice and take advice from people who know me, I don't often take advice from strangers who read a paragraph or sentence that I wrote and then said something like the above, "none of your justifications will make the vast majority of us think that what you and BF are doing is totally fine under your circumstances". I'm not clear on where the line between advice and judgement is here.

wink0erin

I'll admit I look at how much stuff costs too :X

Whenever I lurk any other boards I like looking at the money related posts. I'm also an accountant so numbers/money are my thing. haha

I don't think looking up general costs is BSC, (it's been a habit of mine since I was a little kid. I was the only kid I knew that saved EVERY allowance, and I've had a savings account since I was born.)

So I get what you're saying, anythinggold, but the advice of the lovely ladies here is wise (even though harsh at times) It's best to keep the imagining to a minimum. Don't go making spreadsheets of costs or anything, because obviously that can all change (and spiral out of control.) It's a good habit to save money anyway, so put away as much as you can and it'll add up over time!

And welcome!

paintgirl

Whoa two years to save for a wedding?!? Buy a house. If you own a house, save for retirement. If you are retired, too late to bother with marriage, just shack up. But for god's sake don't waste 2 years of savings on a PARTY!!!!

I'm Paint and I support this message. If you don't, well enjoy your party.

anythinggold

wink: so you don't want me to send you my spreadsheet? ;-) I'm terrible at saving, so I need to have a real thing to look at. I had to get all of the costs down on paper to say "OK, I have two years to make this happen". It was also in big part to make me start actually working to lose weight instead of hoping it would come off. Without the threat of engagement/wedding pictures, I just couldn't get off the couch. Especially when all of my appeals to my SO to help make me go to the gym ended with him saying he loves me the way I am...Sweet, but not helpful!

anythinggold

paint: The problem is that we're saving for a house at the same time. I'm doing research now to get an idea of the cost so I can see how cheap to possibly make it. I absolutely don't want to spend 2 years of savings on a party, and I don't think anything I said made me sound that BSC that I would.

wink0erin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:2a4b24d7-c642-46e3-87d2-f9f11e06568d">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]wink: so you don't want me to send you my spreadsheet? ;-) I'm terrible at saving, so I need to have a real thing to look at. I had to get all of the costs down on paper to say "OK, I have two years to make this happen". It was also in big part to make me start actually working to lose weight instead of hoping it would come off. Without the threat of engagement/wedding pictures, I just couldn't get off the couch. Especially when all of my appeals to my SO to help make me go to the gym ended with him saying he loves me the way I am...Sweet, but not helpful!
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

Lol no thanks, I'll pass on the spreeadsheet. At my old job they called me the spreadsheet master because I made one for EVERYTHING!

I'll clarify that I have no idea what the little things in a wedding cost because I haven't looked them up, and won't until I'm engaged. But I do know what some of the bigger things cost in my area, partially because I've planned events before (when I worked in PR... pre-accounting) and partially because I shot wedding photos on the side for a couple years. I still get curious and look to see what has changed.

I know people that have gotten married with $1000 and people who have gotten married with $50000, and they're both just as married. I do like hearing what the low budget folks wished they'd had and what the high budget folks could've done without. Helps me get a more realistic picture of the industry... sites like TK make it sound like all the fluff is necessary.

anythinggold

wink: Exactly! I really want to know what we want and get prices down now so we're not enticed by all of the extras that we don't need. It's like when you're little and imagine a grand wedding, then you go to do it and realize holy crap, there's no way. We're imagining our budget, love-filled wedding and getting that image in our heads before we have to look at things for real.

I'm curous about the little costs because I've never really been involved in the cost aspect of a wedding, and I really don't want to think I'm ready, start planning for real and then realize I have to wait another year!

wink0erin

Kind of like homes! I have this grand idea of what my house will be like but I know there's no way I can afford that crap right now, lol. So, I sometimes will look at realtor websites to see what houses on the market cost, even though I know that's not going to be for YEARS. And in years, home costs might change drastically.

Same with home improvements. Yeah one piece of tile is x amt, but when you figure out how much you need it's like O_O

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:0a0c773c-6199-4211-99ff-7deee4da8a05">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]SKP - As I was reading anythinggold's reply to you, all that went through my head was:  "Uh oh, she's sassing SKP.  That ain't right."  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Hahaha.  Thanks Yaga.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:b171dd08-31a9-45a7-8eda-29ab181b466b">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]oceana: <strong>I did discuss it with my SO and made sure I wasn't the BSC one.</strong> We're happy with where we are, and although I happily go to people for advice and take advice from people who know me, I don't often take advice from strangers who read a paragraph or sentence that I wrote and then said something like the above, "none of your justifications will make the vast majority of us think that what you and BF are doing is totally fine under your circumstances". I'm not clear on where the line between advice and judgement is here.
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

Oh, so you're <strong>BOTH</strong> BSC.  That's ok then.

ETA:

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/7/94a5520d-8fa8-4b4d-a7cb-877acb3e4df6.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '94a5520d-8fa8-4b4d-a7cb-877acb3e4df6', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/7/94a5520d-8fa8-4b4d-a7cb-877acb3e4df6.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

anythinggold

SKP: I'm super confused as to why you care what me and my BF are happy with. We're grown, mature adults. If I want to say "hey, what do you think of these colors together for our wedding", I don't think it's any skin off your back. 

desertsun

Look, Gold, no one here is saying what you can or can't do. We're just trying to tell you, FROM EXPERIENCE, our best advice.

We don't believe that everyone is a special snowflake and their unique circumstances dictate whether or not pre-planning is okay.

ESPECIALLY when your wedding is TWO YEARS AWAY, there is no need to be talking about colors, flowers, etc.

If you want to work on a budget and savings plan, plug in your zip code here:
http://www.costofwedding.com/

This will give you an idea of the average cost of a wedding in your area. If you're thinking you can do things on a budget, you should still probably plan to spend $10k on your wedding. It CAN be done for less, and if you are able to do that WHEN THE TIME COMES, yippee for you and put the extra toward your HM.

You have TWO YEARS until your wedding. You aren't engaged. There is no reason you can give me that will make me think it's okay for you to do any wedding planning whatsoever at this point.

Slow your damn roll and listen to the excellent advice you've been given here.

It certainly is no skin off anyone's nose if you don't. But don't expect anyone on this board to participate in, encourage, or validate any kind of wedding planning when you're not engaged. If you're after other not engaged girls to plan weddings with, find another board.

If you're after girls to keep you sane while you're waiting on a proposal, stay here.

Period end of story.

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:0c226943-95cd-4c38-b16c-0871f3aea6e8">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Look, Gold, no one here is saying what you can or can't do. We're just trying to tell you, FROM EXPERIENCE, our best advice. We don't believe that everyone is a special snowflake and their unique circumstances dictate whether or not pre-planning is okay. ESPECIALLY when your wedding is TWO YEARS AWAY, there is no need to be talking about colors, flowers, etc. If you want to work on a budget and savings plan, plug in your zip code here: <a href="http://www.costofwedding.com/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.costofwedding.com/</a> This will give you an idea of the average cost of a wedding in your area. If you're thinking you can do things on a budget, you should still probably plan to spend $10k on your wedding. It CAN be done for less, and if you are able to do that WHEN THE TIME COMES, yippee for you and put the extra toward your HM. You have TWO YEARS until your wedding. You aren't engaged. There is no reason you can give me that will make me think it's okay for you to do any wedding planning whatsoever at this point. Slow your damn roll and listen to the excellent advice you've been given here. It certainly is no skin off anyone's nose if you don't. But don't expect anyone on this board to participate in, encourage, or validate any kind of wedding planning when you're not engaged. If you're after other not engaged girls to plan weddings with, find another board. If you're after girls to keep you sane while you're waiting on a proposal, stay here. Period end of story.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

DId I ever tell you how much I love you and you put my exact thoughts into words?

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:0c226943-95cd-4c38-b16c-0871f3aea6e8">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Look, Gold, no one here is saying what you can or can't do. We're just trying to tell you, FROM EXPERIENCE, our best advice. We don't believe that everyone is a special snowflake and their unique circumstances dictate whether or not pre-planning is okay. ESPECIALLY when your wedding is TWO YEARS AWAY, there is no need to be talking about colors, flowers, etc. If you want to work on a budget and savings plan, plug in your zip code here: <a href="http://www.costofwedding.com/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.costofwedding.com/</a> This will give you an idea of the average cost of a wedding in your area. If you're thinking you can do things on a budget, you should still probably plan to spend $10k on your wedding. It CAN be done for less, and if you are able to do that WHEN THE TIME COMES, yippee for you and put the extra toward your HM. You have TWO YEARS until your wedding. You aren't engaged. <strong>There is no reason you can give me that will make me think it's okay for you to do any wedding planning whatsoever at this point. </strong>Slow your damn roll and listen to the excellent advice you've been given here. It certainly is no skin off anyone's nose if you don't. But <strong>don't expect anyone on this board to participate in, encourage, or validate any kind of wedding planning when you're not engaged</strong>. If you're after other not engaged girls to plan weddings with, find another board. If you're after girls to keep you sane while you're waiting on a proposal, stay here. Period end of story.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

Desert hit the nail on the head, as usual!  I especially agree with the bolded parts.

anythinggold

At no point did I expect anyone to participate. I did, however, expect people to not jump down my throat and be insanely quick to tell me that I shouldn't be wedding-dreaming with a BF who has already made it clear to me that he is planning to marry me. 

I don't need anyone to keep me calm while I "wait for a proposal" and, from where I'm standing, I think I'm in a much better boat in terms of appreciating my relationship the way it is than anyone who is waiting for their BF to propose. We both appreciate where we are. We both are creative types who likes talking about color and style. We found a thing that we can talk about color & style in terms of when we see something we like and would want to incorporate into our wedding. 

If that doesn't work for you guys, so be it. What I think is BSC is telling someone that they're wrong for doing something privately. In private. I added it because I thought it was worth mentioning on the status. I know not to do that. I also think I know to avoid this forum in general because although some girls seem amazing, others seem effing toxic. 

Goldlie11

I find the whole thing strange since you said you were planning a very simple and small wedding with just a dinner.  Your whole to do list should have like 10 things on it. Why do you need more than 2 years for that?

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:44935c18-2f94-45b8-8430-b89dcaaf3cbd">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]At no point did I expect anyone to participate. I did, however, expect people to not jump down my throat and be<strong> insanely quick to tell me that I shouldn't be wedding-dreaming with a BF </strong>who has already made it clear to me that he is planning to marry me.  I don't need anyone to keep me calm while I "wait for a proposal" and, from where I'm standing, I think I'm in a much better boat in terms of appreciating my relationship the way it is than anyone who is waiting for their BF to propose. We both appreciate where we are. We both are creative types who likes talking about color and style. We found a thing that we can talk about color & style in terms of when we see something we like and would want to incorporate into our wedding.  If that doesn't work for you guys, so be it. What I think is BSC is telling someone that they're wrong for doing something privately. In private. I added it because I thought it was worth mentioning on the status. I know not to do that. I also think I know to avoid this forum in general because although some girls seem amazing, others seem effing toxic. 
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]
Personally, I think you can dream all you want.  Planning and dreaming are two different things.  A lot of posters, myself included, think that planning too much is a waste of your time.  So many things can happen from now until your wedding.  Your dream venue can close down or a new venue can open up that will be perfect .  Your dream photographer can win some award and his or her prices can skyrocket (that actually happened to me).  Prices will change, new people will enter the industry, new styles of dresses will become popular.  <div>Too much planning is a waste of your time.  </div>

anythinggold

Goldie: I think you're the first person to actually read the parts where I explain that when I say planning I mean dreaming, discussing things that would be nice, etc. We obviously don't need 2 years to plan. My sister just got engaged and seemed in a bigger rush than us to get married, so I'm letting her have all of next year. Until then, the BF and I show each other colors we like and when we have an especially good meal we talk about maybe having it at our wedding. Not the blasphemy that everyone seems to think it is...

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:44935c18-2f94-45b8-8430-b89dcaaf3cbd">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]At no point did I expect anyone to participate. I did, however, expect people to not jump down my throat and be insanely quick to tell me that I shouldn't be wedding-dreaming with a BF who has already made it clear to me that he is planning to marry me.  I don't need anyone to keep me calm while I "wait for a proposal" and, from where I'm standing, I think I'm in a much better boat in terms of appreciating my relationship the way it is than anyone who is waiting for their BF to propose. We both appreciate where we are. We both are creative types who likes talking about color and style. We found a thing that we can talk about color & style in terms of when we see something we like and would want to incorporate into our wedding.  If that doesn't work for you guys, so be it. What I think is BSC is telling someone that they're wrong for doing something privately. In private. I added it because I thought it was worth mentioning on the status. I know not to do that. <strong>I also think I know to avoid this forum in general because although some girls seem amazing, others seem effing toxic. 
</strong>Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

Don't let the door hit you in the bootay on the way out!

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:44935c18-2f94-45b8-8430-b89dcaaf3cbd">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]At no point did I expect anyone to participate. I did, however, expect people to not jump down my throat and be insanely quick to tell me that I shouldn't be wedding-dreaming with a BF who has already made it clear to me that he is planning to marry me.  I don't need anyone to keep me calm while I "wait for a proposal" and, from where I'm standing, I think I'm in a much better boat in terms of appreciating my relationship the way it is than anyone who is waiting for their BF to propose. We both appreciate where we are. We both are creative types who likes talking about color and style. We found a thing that we can talk about color & style in terms of when we see something we like and would want to incorporate into our wedding.  If that doesn't work for you guys, so be it. What I think is BSC is telling someone that they're wrong for doing something privately. In private. I added it because I thought it was worth mentioning on the status. I know not to do that. I also think I know to avoid this forum in general because although some girls seem amazing, others seem effing toxic. 
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]

I'm married, so I'm not waiting on a proposal. My advice comes from having been in your position (not engaged yet) and having had the experience of wanting to look at venues and get an idea of costs and budget and save, and then when I got engaged, getting tired of wedding planning. AND having been on this board for over 2 years and having talked to literally HUNDREDS of girls.

So I'm not so much telling you you're wrong as I am trying to HELP you by refusing to indulge in behavior my experience has told me is counter-productive and unhealthy.

Besides the practical aspect of using your excitement about marriage when it will have the most impact (when you are actually engaged), there is also the fact that I don't believe that living in the future is healthy emotionally. I am a firm believer in living life as it happens, instead of spending my time and energy planning and looking forward to the next big milestone. Life is about the journey. JMO.

I am not saying what you want to do could never work for anyone. I'm just saying that, IME, it doesn't work for the majority of people. It would be silly for me to base my advice on something contrary to my own experience.

I am not effing toxic. I giving effing amazing advice. If you don't want to take it, that is absolutely fine. You have to do what you think is best for yourself. I just think it is wise to consider the advice of those who have been there, done that, as opposed to dismissing it and assuming you know better b/c it's not what you want to hear.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:6fe8a3c1-07eb-4869-ae37-2209996a99aa">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Goldie: I think you're the first person to actually read the parts where I explain that when I say planning I mean dreaming, discussing things that would be nice, etc. We obviously don't need 2 years to plan. My sister just got engaged and seemed in a bigger rush than us to get married, so I'm letting her have all of next year. <strong>Until then, the BF and I show each other colors we like and when we have an especially good meal we talk about maybe having it at our wedding.</strong> Not the blasphemy that everyone seems to think it is...
Posted by anythinggold[/QUOTE]
Only you and your boyfriend know exactly what you're doing.  The highlighted portion doesn't really count as planning to me. My husband and I were able to have our favorite foods served at the wedding.  It's pretty common.<div>
</div><div>Believe it or not, this is one of the friendliest posts about pre-planning that I've seen in a while.  People here have been tryingto help you learn from their experiences.  I was engaged for 20 months.  The color scheme changed at least 3 times (we ended up going back to the orginal plan), I thought I would get married in a tea length dress (I didn't), I thought we would just do dinner (we ended up with a DJ and dancing).  I don't say these things to be mean.  When it comes time to actually planning the wedding, you and your fiance will be taking a lot of things and people into consideration.  That's all.  Until then, go ahead and daydream all you want.  Just don't be surprised if the wedding looks totally different than the two of you imagined.  </div>

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:8b02dbd9-923a-4544-9149-fb2afab3cb36">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Boo, it seems I have missed the fun. I did read the whole thread though, and just wanted to say:  
Posted by buggle2[/QUOTE]

<3

CASK85

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:5e4fdf15-8ad7-4cf3-a8c5-3808b5108880">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Only you and your boyfriend know exactly what you're doing.  The highlighted portion doesn't really count as planning to me. My husband and I were able to have our favorite foods served at the wedding.  It's pretty common. Believe it or not, this is one of the friendliest posts about pre-planning that I've seen in a while.  People here have been tryingto help you learn from their experiences.  I was engaged for 20 months.  The color scheme changed at least 3 times (we ended up going back to the orginal plan), I thought I would get married in a tea length dress (I didn't), I thought we would just do dinner (we ended up with a DJ and dancing).  I don't say these things to be mean.  When it comes time to actually planning the wedding, you and your fiance will be taking a lot of things and people into consideration.  That's all.  Until then, go ahead and daydream all you want.  Just don't be surprised if the wedding looks totally different than the two of you imagined.  
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Right, I thought I said earlier that the occasional conversation is fine? Did I not say that? I'm too lazy to go back hunting for it.</div><div>
</div><div>But checking out venues and putting together a detailed budget is the kind of planning that I am arguing against.</div><div>
</div><div>It sounded in your earlier posts like you were doing more detailed actual looking for venues and other things, Gold. I apologize if I misunderstood.</div><div>
</div><div>Although I would even caution against too much even casual talk. Again b/c I think that leads to a mindset where you're more focused on the future than on the reality of your relationship as it is now, and appreciating what you have NOW.</div><div>
</div><div>Aaaand, I'm spent.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

ravenray

BTW No one should ever call Desert toxic.  She is effing amazing and gives the best advice on this board.  You really just lost serious point there.  There is no reason to call someone like Desert toxic just because she is giving you good sound advice that you don't want to hear. 

No one messes with Desert. 

OOOOh Desert we need the face!

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:07ecd953-acc6-4f46-b421-431101fe8407">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: N00b! Hi! : Right, I thought I said earlier that the occasional conversation is fine? Did I not say that? I'm too lazy to go back hunting for it.<strong> But checking out venues and putting together a detailed budget is the kind of planning that I am arguing against. </strong>It sounded in your earlier posts like you were doing more detailed actual looking for venues and other things, Gold. I apologize if I misunderstood. Although I would even caution against too much even casual talk. Again b/c I think that leads to a mindset where you're more focused on the future than on the reality of your relationship as it is now, and appreciating what you have NOW. Aaaand, I'm spent.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]
Cosigned Goldlie11

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:66eee847-1e41-49e5-97f5-39d3b54d41db">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]BTW No one should ever call Desert toxic.  She is effing amazing and gives the best advice on this board.  You really just lost serious point there.  There is no reason to call someone like Desert toxic just because she is giving you good sound advice that you don't want to hear.  No one messes with Desert.  OOOOh Desert we need the face!
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks, Ray! <3</div><div>
</div><div>Did you mean my "Seriously?!" face? Ask and ye shall receive!</div><div>
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<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '625f7aad-5eba-4c57-a45e-9312aebabe89', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/4/625f7aad-5eba-4c57-a45e-9312aebabe89.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a></div><div>
</div><div>I think this is also kind of my "Biiitch, PLEASE" face lol!</div><div>
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marleylikeair

Heh, ray, I don't think the OP specifically called Desert toxic; she said some people on the board were, and then desert addressed the claim.

But I do enjoy your faces, Desert. Also, you're pretty.

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_n00b-hi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:85240aa6-c229-4ef0-9a3c-948d21aaa2b2Post:52f8dde8-8c58-4645-8c05-8e061a45397b">Re: N00b! Hi!</a>:
[QUOTE]Heh, ray, I don't think the OP specifically called Desert toxic; she said some people on the board were, and then desert addressed the claim. But I do enjoy your faces, Desert. :) Also, you're pretty.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]
Ya I could see that but she happened to say that right after Desert talked to her.  Coincidence I think not!


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Plus more people were less nice then Desert, I just think she got upset becuase we wouldn't leave her alone for preplanning.

EDIT: BTW Desert, yes that is exactly what I wanted.  You're so pretty  :)  I got your back girl!

EDITEDIT: And I really like Sunbirds advice.  :)  I have a "someday" account that we put money into.  What it goes to is not sure yet but it will help us someday when we do need it :)