How would you take this?

rajah92708

My husband left himself signed in to facebook on my laptop, and when I checked it this morning, there was a new message in the inbox.  I will admit that I am extremely nosy, so I started reading some of the previous messages.  There's one message that is a little concerning to me.  A woman he worked with for about two weeks sent a message saying, "hey, so can I send you messages on here and it will be safe?"  To which he replied, "Totally."  Would you be concerned?

Mrs.Expchic

YES

FallinAgain

Dude.

ndzenowski

Hm, how suspcious sounding. It could mean multiple things of course, any other messages from her? 

rajah92708

I know - I am concerned (and not an idiot)  Just trying to calm down and figure out how I should react before I approach him.

noisy_penguin

Not well. My answer is that I would not take that well.

rajah92708

No other messages, but that doesn't mean much, because facebook has the chat feature, which I do not think allows previous conversations to be reviewed.  And, also, there's the thing where they worked together.

SarahBethBR

I am usually the opposite of suspicious, but that is huge. We would be having a come to jesus talk when I saw him next.

FallinAgain

What multiple meanings could "safe to send you messages here" have?I don't think we're talking secure from computer viruses.  Maybe safe from prying work eyes but that's a stretch.

Jen&Joe06

*** =  biitch

ndzenowski

I'm trying to be positive. Talk to him. What good is speculation going to do you?

CaliopeSpidrman

Yeah, seeing as how this sounds like the beginning of half of the posts on TIP, I'd say it doesn't bode well.This reminds me, have there been more updates to that one chick's blog? 

wingedbride

is he a soccer coach?

pdxmouse

I think I would be worried, but I'd also know it could be innocent like she wanted a safe place to rant about their boss or something. Have there been other signs? I hate to say this but I'd do some snooping so if the wool's been pulled over your eyes he doesn't make you feel nuts for suspecting him. And I would definitely confront him and carefully gauge his reaction.

Mrs.Expchic

Is it during the time she worked there or after?

Novemberrocks

Here's my problem with talking to him now.  If a guy has no qualms with cheating, then he likely has no qualms with lying to his wife about the cheating.  Hearing some ridiculous story about some confidential work project would not at all set my mind at ease, but he would probably become more covert in his behavior.  I would keep checking for more of a 'smoking gun' email.

wingedbride

she wouldn't ask if it was safe as in safe from work eyes because anyone not retarded would know that your work is not going to accidentally check your FB inbox. She is asking about safe from a wife.

FallinAgain

I'm with Exp and J&J.  If it's when they worked together, I'd feel a liiiittle better.  The fact there are no other messages makes me more suspicious, not less.

FallinAgain

Hmm...I think I switched to Winged's thinking. Good point.

rajah92708

I don't think it's about work - he is the manager of a hotel, and she's one of the front desk people that works at a hotel he managed for about two weeks before he took his current job.  I doubt that she'd be sending him private messages through facebook for that kind of stuff.  I don't know how to approach him about this.  I agree that if he's being sneaky with messages on FB, he's probably not going to be truthful if I ask if something is going on.

Mrs.Expchic

meh I could see a stupid, comp illiterate dumbiehead thinking it would be unsafe.

CaliopeSpidrman

I'm putting my Sherlock Holmes pipe and hat in November's basket.  I wouldn't reveal what I know until I got more damning evidence than something he could easily explain away.

wingedbride

dude, he has access to free hotel rooms?

GroomzMcFinehiney

I would save a screenshot of this message and start looking for other signs.  I agree with PP, sounds fishy, but confronting him now would only get his guard up, wheter or not he's innocent. I also suggest you start a blog.

mashedpotato

they only worked together for 2 weeks and they're FB friends?  I find that odd nevermind the secretive message.

FallinAgain

Any other signs?  Late nights at "work"?  Unexplained cell calls? New underwear?

Mrs.Expchic

start checking cell phones records, buy a keylogger, and get some night vision binoculars ASAP.

pdxmouse

Winged could be right, but that's assuming she's somewhat tech savvy. I actually had to show a younger co-irker how to add an attachment to her email a few years ago. I could see that person not being sure FB emails are private.

MamaKin

if you snooped because you don't trust him, i guess it's pretty fitting you found something. at least you were right. good luck with that!

rajah92708

Yeah, Winged, I thought about that too.  Tomfoolery is quite easy with access to free hotel rooms.  I guess I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst.  I'm not as naive as the bloggy girl. 

wingedbride

i really don't see a reason for someone to FB friend someone they worked with temporarily, especially if they were in a supervisory postition to that person.