KPP's?

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:c2225c2c-3859-4770-9a6d-9d821273021e">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's easy for me to love myself when it's just me and the people who love me.  I know that H and my family don't judge my weight (although my mom wants me to be 'healthier').  But I also know that other people (who shouldn't matter) DO judge my weight all the time.  Anytime someone around here wants to insult me, that's what they go to.  And in real life- I've heard the comments made about me either behind my back or to my face by drunk dudes at bars.  It's hard to love the way I look in the face of those things.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

I understand what you are saying.  No matter how many nice things you hear from the people who matter, one awful thing from some idiot who doesn't matter at all is the thing that sticks.

If someone has no better comeback than to resort to insults about a person's physical appearance, then that translates to a poor intellect and a complete lack of self-awareness.  That's one of the things I love about TK -- that those types of comments aren't allowed.  And you can always tell anything you need to know about a poster the minute they do that.  They're not worth the time, effort or typing.

MattsPenguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:6b8726f8-0ec9-43be-9c6c-510ad8bb54ef">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : At some point, you just have to realize that you'll never please everyone.  People still make comments about my weight because I'm not stick-thin, but I don't give a rat's ass because, frankly, they don't matter.  I get mean comments on my blog every once in awhile asking why I'm giving fitness advice when I look the way I do.  But then, when I was stick thin, people made comments about me not having any boobs anymore, or being weak, or looking too skinny.  You just can't win with 100% of the general population, EVER, so...stop trying.  Focus on those who love you for who you are and fuuck all the rest of 'em. FWIW, I think you're pretty fantastic and I very much liked your wedding pictures!
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

Brie, are you freaking kidding me?  I thought the blog community was such a friendly one!

Every time I read your blog I think "Holy cow!  I can't run that far or that fast!  WAY TO GO!"

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:f1c549bd-a0d7-4f52-9afe-4ca364706e4c">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : My standard response to any weight comments that get thrown at me is "I can gain or lose weight any time I like, but you'll always be an asshole."
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I like you more and more with every post.

polichik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:f1c549bd-a0d7-4f52-9afe-4ca364706e4c">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : My standard response to any weight comments that get thrown at me is "I can gain or lose weight any time I like, but you'll always be an asshole."
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I like this.

And I was going to sumbit a KPS this week, but I think it's TMI to put on here, ha

crfische

Dani, along the lines of your confession...

I have a whole lot of friends, but only a couple that I'll confide anything in. I'm always the helper, so I don't feel like I can ask FOR help from many people, and quite frankly, I usually don't think anyone wants to hear it anyway.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:383b31f1-30f5-43aa-8e66-67f03a353e65">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Dani, along the lines of your confession... I have a whole lot of friends, but only a couple that I'll confide anything in. I'm always the helper, so I don't feel like I can ask FOR help from many people, and quite frankly, I usually don't think anyone wants to hear it anyway.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I think for me, and I guess what the confession really should be is that  -  I think I choose people like that so that I don't have to talk about my own issues, I can just always be helping them with theirs.

FutureMrsTR

Oh Poli, please.  If I put mine up, you can too.

ETA:  Unless it involves eating something that came out of your body because I can't take anymore of that.

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:59410c2c-9209-4c85-8e52-e8abb6d772d7">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : I like you more and more with every post.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div> <3</div>

polichik

Ha, no, TR! Ok, I'll make it. ::runs off to make "secret" that won't be a secret::

parker624

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:83c0c50a-51e9-43bc-8eb2-0d851a4a9b22">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : Yeah, I think for me, and I guess what the confession really should be is that  -  I think I choose people like that so that I don't have to talk about my own issues, I can just always be helping them with theirs.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I feel this too.  All the time.  But I am lucky that I can confide in my sisters. 

polichik

Ok. I warned y'all...

MISSCOURTNEY20

I am a witness to everyone has something that they don't like about their bodies. Even if other people don't see it.  I was always the skinny girl. All through elementary and high school, I was the skinniest of all of my friends. After having my son, at age 20, I weighed 115 lbs. When I had Jordyn, at age 30, I was 130lbs. So of course after 2 kids, I have a gut. I kept it pretty much under conrtol until I met FH. We eat out and snack ALOT. Now I am 140 lbs and it is all in my middle. I have had students, all this past year, ask if I was prego. WTH??? Now, after all the water I drink and the bread I lay off of, I can not drop these 10 pounds. People look at me and say "You don't need to lose weight." And then I go into showing them my belly.

I have vowed to not become compulsive over this but it does bug me especially when Jordyn, the wonderful 4 year old, says "Mommy you look like you have a baby in there." But all I can do is keep on the track of trying to lose it and if not get really good at holding it in.

Sing2phins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:24ecc821-0e3c-41fe-b51e-cae199d493b3">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : Tri, I sometimes worry too, but the other way around.  My H was married before, and his ex was awful, awful when they had arguments.  He reacts to me in an argument like I'm going to be that awful, and it makes the arguments worse.  I worry sometimes that their problems will become ours too because of this.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
This is as far as I've read so far, but this makes me think of that Trisha Yearwood song "The Woman Before Me."  That's a tough position to be in Squirrly; I'm sorry.

vallyhoo

Alix, you are more than pretty. There is no 'enough' about it. You have a husband who loves and adores you and you are pretty on the inside and out. AND you're smart. Don't forget that. Beauty isn't everything - even though you are our Barbie.

sarabellam

Salt, I'm way late in this, but not every woman gains weight after having children. I weigh 15 pounds less than I did when I got pregnant with my older daughter, who will be 12 this month.

As for confessions w/o graphics, I'm afraid that my marriage will fail. We have been a lot more tense with each other lately, and I can trace it back to when my ex quit paying the child support he is obligated to pay. It makes me very sad.

alixzafiris

Thanks Val *hugs*

Poli, goddamn I wish I had your problem

MISSCOURTNEY20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:83c0c50a-51e9-43bc-8eb2-0d851a4a9b22">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : Yeah, I think for me, and I guess what the confession really should be is that  -  I think I choose people like that so that I don't have to talk about my own issues, I can just always be helping them with theirs.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

My sister has a friend who is draining like yours. She puts her on "punishment" and doesn't talk to her for a while. At first I thought it was mean, but then she explained that she can't keep picking her up when she obviously likes being down.

danieliza1127

Alix, you are so beautiful!  See it just goes to show, no matter how beautiful a person is to other people's eyes, they won't see it in their own. 

ohwhynot

Wow, these body-image ones are killing me.  Just killing me.  I'll try to keep it together. 

My confession:  I sometimes fear that fi is with me simply because I was the first person to come along to alleviate his loneliness.  He glommed onto me not for ME, but because he wanted someone, anyone, to love. 

danieliza1127

Um, also Poli, that happens to me sometimes too.

MISSCOURTNEY20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:e653fe6e-38cd-4e8b-8bc7-7eb266718c17">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Salt, I'm way late in this, but not every woman gains weight after having children. I weigh 15 pounds less than I did when I got pregnant with my older daughter, who will be 12 this month. As for confessions w/o graphics, I'm afraid that my marriage will fail.<strong> We have been a lot more tense with each other lately, and I can trace it back to when my ex quit paying the child support he is obligated to pay. It makes me very sad.
</strong>Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

Yikes! I wish my daughter's father's wife felt the same way. She boasts in the fact that her father doesn't help to take care of her. Bytch!!


I am so sorry that you feel this way. Have you talked to him about how you feel??

FutureMrsTR

That happens to me too, Poli, though not as often.  It's not the worst thing in the world

emilyinchile

Poli, that's crazy! But in a good way

MissCourtney, wait so you're 34? Your skin is ridiculous in your sig picture! (also in a good way) What's your secret? Maybe I don't need Botox after all...

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:fae39caa-add3-4228-9e06-3dc470548f47">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a witness to everyone has something that they don't like about their bodies. Even if other people don't see it.  I was always the skinny girl. All through elementary and high school, I was the skinniest of all of my friends. After having my son, at age 20, I weighed 115 lbs. When I had Jordyn, at age 30, I was 130lbs. So of course after 2 kids, I have a gut. I kept it pretty much under conrtol until I met FH. We eat out and snack ALOT. Now I am 140 lbs and it is all in my middle. <strong>I have had students, all this past year, ask if I was prego. WTH???</strong> Now, after all the water I drink and the bread I lay off of, I can not drop these 10 pounds. People look at me and say "You don't need to lose weight." And then I go into showing them my belly. I have vowed to not become compulsive over this but it does bug me especially when Jordyn, the wonderful 4 year old, says "Mommy you look like you have a baby in there." But all I can do is keep on the track of trying to lose it and if not get really good at holding it in.
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

After the 20 I put on this past year that went all to my tummy area, our neighbor asked FI if I was pregnant. When he was like "no shhhhh we're not married yet" she did the nod like "ohhh ok we'll keep it a secret." She probably still thinks I"m pregnant and am just a horrible mommy for drinking a beer on our patio.

Edit: fixed my grammar

sarah0725

Poli, that has happened to me also. Sometimes, there are good dreams.

OWN, I can't imagine that being the case. From everything I've seen of you posting here, you just get cooler and funnier every day.

FutureMrsTR

OWN - I know what you mean.  I'm FI's first serious, adult relationship.  He was with a girl all through high school and then only dated casually in college and afterwards.  Sometimes I worry that since he doesn't have anything to compare this relationship to how does he know that it's what he wants forever?  I'm afraid he'll change his mind :-/

MISSCOURTNEY20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:5c3095a1-da9a-4302-a946-ba1401367161">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Poli, that's crazy! But in a good way :) MissCourtney, wait so you're 34? Your skin is ridiculous in your sig picture! (also in a good way) What's your secret? Maybe I don't need Botox after all...
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

LOL!! I'm 35 baby! My secret, I always say is, naps! I take one everyday and have been since I was in college. I also have never smoked and I only drink socially, which isn't very often. But I think that taking naps is the key. Helps the face relax. **Patting cheeks**

danieliza1127

Last week I had a dream that I was laying in bed with this guy and his twin brother was sitting across the room.  I realized they were both Jake Gyllenhaal, one with a beard and one without.  I decided when we went out in the living room, I was definitely going make out with the one without the beard but when I got out there, my H was there and he reminded me that we were married and in the dream I was SO disappointed!   Hahahaha, oh when I woke up I just thought that was so funny!

polichik

Woo Dani and TR! Ha, it's definitely not something I'm unhappy about, but it's interesting. It only really started after we moved in together and were intimate more regularly than when we were LD.

And I just went back and read all the body image ones, and my heart is so sad. I wish I could say something to make everyone feel better, but I know that so much of the battle of body image is that it's so easy to forget all the good things people say and only remember the bad things others have said or that you just think. I know it's hard for my FI when I get upset about having extra weight in my upper arms, and I know it mystifies him and he doesn't see it. But it's so hard to tell yourself that you look great the way you are.

One thing that's helped me has been reading Glamour. I know, reading a fashion magazine usually /= help with body image. But they're committed to putting in models of all different sizes, and they don't do it in a "ZOMG HERE'S A PLUS SIZE MODEL! EVERYBODY LOOK!" sort of way... They're just in there like any other model. It's still not enough, since "real size" models can be a pretty darn small 8 or a 10, but it's good to see women with different size and shape bodies.

But it does eat at me that I have two months to go until the wedding with my sleeveless dress, and my arms are still not even close to the way I want them. When I see women with really fit arms, it makes me want to cry.

MISSCOURTNEY20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kpps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bc654db-814b-4f87-ba37-2f0f428636bcPost:8cec5361-240b-4c7b-85f8-d87381513462">Re: KPP's?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: KPP's? : After the 20 I put on this past year that went all to my tummy area, our neighbor asked FI if I was pregnant. When we was like "no shhhhh we're not married yet" she did the nod like "ohhh ok we'll keep it a secret." She probably still thinks I"m pregnant and am just a horrible mommy for drinking a beer on our patio.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

LOL!!! I even bought a girdle a few weeks ago to wear everyday. But it is tooo dayum hot in my classroom for that thing, so looking prego it is. Sucks!!