Uninviting guests?! Please help!

MrsCanes511

Okay girls, seriously relax. The husband/FI thing was towards ONE person. And i NEVER said that anyone was "Frickin Insane". In fact what I said was that some of you have been VERY helpful. And what I said about the ettiquiete thing was because I think that you should consider that but also take into account each personal situation. I think its silly to just worry about what things are SUPPOSED to be like, just because some people say so or not. If you cant do it, you just cant do it and you need to find out some alternative way.

CubsGirl05

You don't *need* a DJ, you don't *need* a dance floor, you don't *need* alcohol, you don't *need* 5000 worth of food. Clearly, you didn't think through your budget.

Calypso1977

i dont get what there is to "figure out" as far as the dance floor.  its not required.  just dont have it. but i still dont see how $900 or whatever it costs is pushing you over the edge.  if you got a second job between now and your weding you could earn the money for that dance floor.  or just cut out your extras.  get a smaller cable or cell phone package, stop buying coffee, eating out, etc.

betrothed123

You never specified one person, even after asked, so how was anyone supposed to know that?Your situation is no different than anyopne else who comes here and asks this querstion.  Your failure to properly plan does not make uninviting guests okay.You can make it work if you want to.  If you don't make it work it's because you don't want to.

tlv204

Yes but your alternate way to do things is incredibly rude. In every situation. Using the advice given here for cutting costs would be the polite alternate way.

mocha beans

If you cant do it, you just cant do it and you need to find out some alternative way. This is exactly what people are trying to help you do.  Find ways to move the money around so you don't have to cut more than half your guest list.

ffmaid

But the thing is you CAN DO IT!! You can cut the costs and be a gracious hostess to 200 people for well well under 7K you can do it for under 1K. What the problem is is that you seem to think your guests are less important then your DJ or dance floor and that is such a rude inconsiderate tacky thing that it is worth anyone who you cut and some of those you do not refusing to ever speak to you again. Long term much better to be gracious and within your budget but simple wedding then a fancy wedding where you insult more then half the people you loved enough to invite in the first place.  

Brie2010

Okay girls, seriously relax. The husband/FI thing was towards ONE person. And i NEVER said that anyone was "Frickin Insane". In fact what I said was that some of you have been VERY helpful. And what I said about the ettiquiete thing was because I think that you should consider that but also take into account each personal situation. I think its silly to just worry about what things are SUPPOSED to be like, just because some people say so or not. If you cant do it, you just cant do it and you need to find out some alternative way. I think YOU need to relax.  If you think etiquette is so silly, why did you post on an etiquette board?  We are, in fact, telling you that you can have a nice wedding without offending people. There is no "can't" here, other than "you can't uninvite people without them being hurt/offended."And yes, you did: It is $25 per person plus cake costs and cutting fees and alcohol, which I was told (since you all are so freakin insane about ETIQUETTE)

swans alive

Adjust your spending, not your guest list. You have gotten some excellent advice on here -- the snippy comments could've been avoided by phrasing your OP as "help me work within this budget" not "help me uninvite half of my guest list." Do an iPod reception (no DJ), only offer very limited alcohol (or none at all), no dance floor -- and that should be a nice chunk of change back in your pocket.

MrsCanes511

Thanks girls. Have a great day.

mandysmear

ettiquiet is spelled etiquetteYWIA

Calypso1977

you're welcome, troll.

georgia_bride09

MrsCanes, I feel sorry for your FI, because clearly you don't listen and you have a snotty attitude.

ffmaid

$500 wedding - park for reception too using picnic tables already at park  midafternoon wedding and reception serve iced tea lemonaid water and grocery store cake for 200 1K wedding- you also get an ipod and dance at teh park also serve burgers and hot dogs2K wedding - now you can afford flowers and a dj woohoo3K wedding the food just got upgraded to bbq brought in by caterers4K wedding - now you have a keg of beer and some charles shaw wineIts doable if you want to do so. We will help you as soon as you start considering that you put your word out there that you wetre inviting people and uninvitinng people is out of teh question

weddnovice

But the thing is you CAN DO IT!! You can cut the costs and be a gracious hostess to 200 people for well well under 7K you can do it for under 1K. What the problem is is that you seem to think your guests are less important then your DJ or dance floor and that is such a rude inconsiderate tacky thing that it is worth anyone who you cut and some of those you do not refusing to ever speak to you again. Long term much better to be gracious and within your budget but simple wedding then a fancy wedding where you insult more then half the people you loved enough to invite in the first place.AWESOME advice ffmaid - I reposted it because I loved it so much!  Also, I may be wrong but I think the OP only wanted advice about uninviting guests, not how to stretch her 7k budget. 

TheSaltyPeanut

You don't lurk, do you? That's all.

wadingmoose

You know what, I set a budget with a guest list of 17 people.  We decided to INCREASE the number of people.  To do so, we made a lot of sacrifices.  I more than doubled my guest list and maintained my original budget by simply prioritizing the elements of the wedding for me.There is so much fat you can trim in a wedding budget.  Entertaining 2000 people on a $7000 budget isn't easy, it won't be black tie, but it can be done in an etiquette-friendly way.  You don't even have to completely cut alcohol.FWIW, the estimate for food and alcohol for my wedding is $1000.

Kati0105

OP, please come back.  I really want to know whose FI/DH you feel sorry for now!

Terri Bridelee

You're giving yourself away as a troll when you say the whole "I feel sorry for...blahblah." Helpful suggestions: 1. As others have said, no flowers.  Carry a bible down the aisle. 2. Nix the $25/plate restaurant.  Go with a less expensive venue, or have the reception in a park with BBQ food that you buy yourself, or that an inexpensive caterer brings in. 3. My sister got a DJ in that area for $450 just a couple years ago.  $900 is a LOT for that area.  Then again, you can do the ipod thing.  If I could go back, I definitely would've done that. 4. Buy a second-hand dress or a sample dress.  Check out the Trash-to-Treasures board.  Brides are selling their dresses all. the. time.  I got mine new with tags, from a bride who decided her groom wasn't "the one" for her.  It was a brand new Maggie Sottero and I paid $200. 5. No favors 6. Go with beer and wine only. 

georgia_bride09

Kati, I'm pretty sure she was talking to daff.

zippityb

This is a troll, right? There are too many "points" that she is hitting.