It is absolutely not necessary to have alcohol, especially at an afternoon wedding. If you have to choose between uninviting 150 guests and not serving alcohol, you should definitely do the latter. I also don't think you need a DJ for an afternoon wedding, so that will save you another grand. We'll have to agree to disagree about the definition of immediate family.
Drop the cake. I did when I discovered the ridiculous cost of cake AND cutting. The other option is to get grocery store cupcakes, but it's perfectly acceptable to not have cake.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
Skip the DJ. Use an iPod. Save $900 if you already have one, or about $750 if you don't.Also, please don't be rude. People are actually trying to help you.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12 Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
I feel very sorry for your husband/Fiance. All your worried about is ettiquette, and you obviously do not care to actually give good, helpful advice. You just choose to tear someone down. Why dont you just ignore the post then? Theres not reason that you need to be rude.
A dance floor is not a necessity.You do not need to serve alcohol.You don't need a DJ. We used a laptop with iTunes on it (that'd cut $900).If you really want to make this work keep in mind the only thing you need to get married are 1) your groom 2) an officiant 3) a license and 4) a witness or two (depending on what state you live in). Everything else is gravy.
kd.joseph's wish is my command
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
The food is the most expensive at about 5000. It is $25 per person plus cake costs and cutting fees and alcohol, which I was told (since you all are so freakin insane about ETIQUETTE) that its necessary to have alcohol. Okay first of all, most of us here say that you don't have to have alcohol but you shouldn't have a cash bar. That you should just host what you can afford, whether that be no alcohol or just beer and wine. The fact that you would try to blame an internet board for your decision to have alcohol that you can't afford is ridiculous. If you can't afford to host a bar, don't have a bar! The reception is at a restuarant, so we have to bring in a floor rental place from outside, which the restuarant usually does business with a rental place that only charges them 250, however they went out of business. Don't get a dance floor.As far as the hotel, you only have to pay for your own room. You do not have to pay for your bridal party's rooms.
Everyone is being very helpful to you, calm down a little! It's hard for me to understand how a dance floor and some hotel rooms put you so over budget that you need to cute 75% of your guest? People have provided you with some really good ways to cut costs on here. Maybe you can work out a new budget using some of their suggestions. Good luck!
I feel very sorry for your husband/FianceOh, she said it!
kd.joseph's wish is my command
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
Mrs. Canes, we're trying to help. There's no reason to get snippy. I can fathom a large immediate family. Mine is 25 when you count grandma, parents, sibs & spouses, nieces & nephews.Now, if those were the only people I could afford to have a wedding with, I can't imagine getting a dance floor and a DJ. We'd probably just hang out and eat lasagna at my sister's house.
Ummm people ARE giving you very helpful advice. I have seen lots of good suggestions in this thread of ways that you can handle this situation (that you shouldn't have gotten yourself into in the first place).
YES those 50 people are immediate. I DO have a large family, as well as a split family. THANK YOU. Im sorry you have a smaller family and cannot fathom the alternative.-Fine but you can not cut guests so this is ireelaventWe are doing NO decorations.-good We are getting married at a park, which costs us nothing. -can you do the reception at the park too which will allow you to use the chairs the same and also allow you to bring in food cheaper?The food is the most expensive at about 5000. It is $25 per person plus cake costs and cutting fees and alcohol, which I was told (since you all are so freakin insane about ETIQUETTE) that its necessary to have alcohol. alcohol is nice but not a need if you can not afford alcohol it is better to cut alcohol then it is to cut guestsOur wedding is in the eary afternoon so that right there cuts costs. greatWe are not getting a limo or anything fancy like that, we have already paid for our photographer which we got a GREAT deal on. And our DJ is 900. -cut the DJ use an ipodThe reception is at a restuarant, so we have to bring in a floor rental place from outside, which the restuarant usually does business with a rental place that only charges them 250, however they went out of business. The cheapest that we can find in the area is 750, plus the cost of rental chairs for the ceremony. stop doing the resturant at all go to the park for teh whole thing or do the ceremoney at the resturant and thus people are in their dinner chairs. My grandmother is making the bridesmaids dresses so that cost practically doesnt exist. Then the random costs of suits (we are not getting tuxes) however we may just do like kacki pants and a nice shirt, since it is a beachy theme. The hotel room that i that i mentioned, because the area we are getting married at is an hour and half from our home, we have to have a hotel room for the night before for us and the bridal party.-you do not have to pay for the bps hotel rooms nor do you have to stay in a hotel room yourself better to drive back them insult people by uninviting them
Yes, cut the alcohol, that should save you a good chunk. Does sound like a very budget-savvy wedding, but a lot of those things would be costs w/o 150 guests, except the food.
MrsCanes, how are any of these suggestions that have been given by multiple posters anything but advice?- Get rid of the DJ- Get rid of the dance floor- Don't serve alcohol- Don't pay for BP hotel rooms
Okay, Im trying to find out if we can get away with not having a dance floor. That would help alot, your exactly right. Hopefully we can get away without it.
I think a lot of people are giving you very helpful advice to cut costs and ideas for the reception that worked for them. Perhaps you should reread the thread and take some of their advice to heart instead of insisting that your budget issues just possible cannot be resolved.
yes we're worried about etiquette, because this is an ETIQUETTE BOARD. You are choosing to be the hostess of an event. WHen you chose to do this, you made the decision to be polite to your guests. This doesn't seem to matter to you. You are getting lots of helpful advice. Take it instead of whining and feeling sorry for us. BTW, my husband actually likes that I am a polite person who would not uninvite someone. GASP!!Sorry to be blunt and possibly mean, but you're in a tough situation, you need tough advice. Anyone who tells you that what you're doing is fine is not giving good advice. If you came here for people to tell you to do rude things, then you came to the wrong place.
You can get Sonnys BBQ to cater for under $10 per head. That saves you about $3000 right there. You don't need a dance floor. It's not going to kill anyone to dance on carpet. You can do cupcakes which would cut out the cake cutting fee.People are genuinely trying to help you and you seem to be disregarding all of our advice because you think we're being rude. Also, people have been recommending coming over to the budget weddings board. The ladies over there are very helpful and will also give you any advice you may need.
Brie, I have not been rude. I have asked for everyones advice, I did not come on here to get torn down. It is completely unneccesary. Yes, you have been. Saying you feel sorry for our FIs/DHs is rude. Implying that someone here is forcing you to have alcohol is rude. Saying people here are frickin' insane is rude.You are mostly getting good advice here. If someone bothers you, ignore them. Attacking back isn't going to solve any of your problems, and in the aggregate you're getting much more helpful advice than snarkiness. And saying crap like "I feel sorry for your FI" is just going to make people a lot less inclined to be helpful.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12 Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
I seriously and very honestly want to know what (besides a dance floor because not only are they not that expensive, but you don't even need one) has been such a suprise that you need to cut 100 of your guests.
Can you make or buy cupcakes?You probably don't need an actual dance floor, just an open area for people to dance. It works perfectly fine.What kind of alcohol were you planning on having? You could do a bottle or two of wine on each table. I've been to weddings with kegs and boxed wine. Unless you have a family of winos, some boxed wine is pretty decent.
If you had asked for help accomodating your guests with your new budget constraints, the responses would have been helpful right at the beginning. But what you were asking us to help you do was incredibly rude and an enormous breach of ettiquette.You can absolutely have a great wedding for 7,000 dollars and accomodate your original guest list. You will probably have to switch venues, but whatever cost you have to absorb in doing that should be less important to you than being gracious towards your guests.
What is your reception time? If it isn't during a meal time, you could just do cake in the park.Also, if it isn't in the evening, people might not be so into dancing. You could cut the alcohol, DJ, and dance floor. These are things that are more important at an evening affair than the afternoon
Also ask your venue about the cake cutting fees. Usually if you cut it yourself and let guests come pick up a piece themselves, instead of having a staff member cut it and serve each person individually, they won't charge you that fee.You've gotten a lot of excellent advice in this thread. Hopefully you'll use some of it and see that your situation is fixable.
Oy. Really?We're concerned with etiquette because that is the basis of this board. It's clear you came here looking for the bad responses and fully prepared to feel sorry for our SOs. Yay you. You pulled that card even though you didn't have to.If those things were originally supposed to be included by your venue, you need to find your contract and make sure you get what should be included. Uninviting people is a much greater faux pas than not having alcohol. I find it amusing that you're concerned with only some of the etiquette that is talked about on here, but not other parts.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
Re: Uninviting guests?! Please help!
Planning
Married (work in progress)
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
Planning
Married (work in progress)
Married
Planning
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Planning/Married Biology
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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