Confessions?

beatlesgirl25

I'm surprised too at the prior lack of Ben Folds awareness here... in the wedding music polls, "The Luckiest" seems to come up an awful lot.

Poli, I like how your rare moment of non-sunshine still relates to others not being nice enough to each other. You are a sunny person!

lilgina64

maybe the Ben Folds love is regional in the states? My personal favorite song of BFF was battle of who could care less.... Which might be applicable to most people here lately.

polichik

Well said, gina.

Beatles, you know me too well I know you're far, far away, but is there any chance of you making the Chicago GTG?

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51aea11e-b472-4ff7-9e18-ec4d865f7928Post:b0c8f09e-6332-47e0-907f-199078c9e7e8">Re: Confessions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well said, gina. Beatles, you know me too well :) I know you're far, far away, but is there any chance of you making the Chicago GTG?
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

Aw, thanks Poli! I don't get out to Chicago much (and by much I mean "ever"), so probably not. :( But I hope to see pics of the fun!

LilG, you sound so cynical. Noooo! Come back. :)

kikibaby

My favorite BFF song is 'Rockin' the Suburbs'.  Just like Quiet Riot did.

ac_in_dc

Thanks Sun!

I'm actually still at work so we haven't had the chance to talk things out yet.

I know he responded that way b/c my freak-out made him emotional and scared, not because he wants to be a diick. His family is very traditional and there are a lot of pretty conventional gender roles (related to my defensiveness about the naming tradition I brought up in an earlier thread). We've talked about this before.

So part of my meltdown was me getting scared of being boxed in to some kind of "little woman" role. And I said that it was a lot easier/more fun to be a man in his family than a woman, and I knew that we were working to make things different than that, but it still scared me. So I think he felt attacked. Or I think he may have been genuinely scared that I was changing course 180 degrees.

I agree that I need to explain to him that I need a different kind of support from him than what I got. It's going to be tricky though. Luckily we have some time before the baby comes to talk this out and (if necessary) get professional help.

Although we're usually able to figure this stuff out on our own. One good thing about our relationship is that I feel like we're really good at working stuff out without leaving any lingering resentments behind. I hope we can do this.

(sorry for the ramble).

lilgina64

haha oh beatles I still you! I was just picking up on Poli's astitute observation.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51aea11e-b472-4ff7-9e18-ec4d865f7928Post:064451c1-36d3-4726-9a91-8b1a8b6232ee">Re: Confessions?</a>:
[QUOTE]haha oh beatles I still <3 you! I was just picking up on Poli's astitute observation.
Posted by lilgina64[/QUOTE]

Whew, it's still you. :)

JK10910

Ugh, to the PP that talked about not taking H's name and still being addressed that way by family, I'm almost positive FFIL will call me Jessica HisLastName.  Not because he's being dumb, but to make a point.  He's so old fashioned and chauvinistic.  When I got a job in Corrections he said "Well you just do the paperwork and stuff right?" and I said "No, I work with the offenders."  His response was "They let WOMEN work with CRIMINALS?"  He also has mentioned that Jessica HisLastName sounds way better than Fi's ex's first name with their last name.  ughhhhh.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51aea11e-b472-4ff7-9e18-ec4d865f7928Post:9d701a9e-3b04-4d34-b556-96f41a78daf5">Re: Confessions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh, to the PP that talked about not taking H's name and still being addressed that way by family, I'm almost positive FFIL will call me Jessica HisLastName.  Not because he's being dumb, but to make a point.  He's so old fashioned and chauvinistic.  When I got a job in Corrections he said "Well you just do the paperwork and stuff right?" and I said "No, I work with the offenders."  His response was "They let WOMEN work with CRIMINALS?"  He also has mentioned that Jessica HisLastName sounds way better than Fi's ex's first name with their last name.  ughhhhh.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

J&K, that was me. And I've been wondering if maybe the old-fashioned members of the family are trying to send me a message. Your FFIL seems like a really understanding guy! What does your FI say about these comments? I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

JK10910

Ah yes, I thought it was you, but then I thought someone else mentioned it too, and I couldn't remember and I got all flustered.

Nothing anyone could say would ever, ever change the stupid shiit that comes out of FFIL's mouth.  I've vented about him before (he likes to complain that we're spending too much--of our own--money on the wedding and he actually attempted to call our venue to "negotiate" on our behalf.  Then he suddenly offered to pay for half, so he could take care of "how much [we] are spending on things."  He also likes to show up here uninvited and bang on the window to get our attention because we don't have an intercom.  Then he offered to take us out to dinner and when it came time to pay, he offered to leave the tip, and pushed the bill towards FI.) and he's just so stuck in his old, rude ways.

 He's fine in short doses, but sometimes I want to punch him.  FI's mom, bless her heart, is the most wonderful woman in the world, and I love her immensely, otherwise I'd never interact with his parents at all.

wadingmoose

Hmmm.  New confession time.

I don't really care what people call me.  I did not change my name when I got married.  I think it's cute when people send mail addressed to Me Hislastname.  It doesn't bother me at all.  I'm just too lazy to change my name. 

beatlesgirl25

Oh my, he sounds rather curmudgeonly. I don't know if that's even a word, so maybe he just originated it. Good thing you have your FMIL. At least you won't have to deal with cliche mother-in-law conflict.

JK10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51aea11e-b472-4ff7-9e18-ec4d865f7928Post:5e6af72e-79bc-4105-beaa-4e7d44b5590a">Re: Confessions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmm.  New confession time. I don't really care what people call me.  I did not change my name when I got married.  I think it's cute when people send mail addressed to Me Hislastname.  It doesn't bother me at all.  I'm just too lazy to change my name. 
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

It won't bother me when most people call me by his last name.  It's just the fact that I know FFIL will do it to send me a message.

agk0125

Give me my money back.
Give me my money back.
You b!tch.

Ben Folds

[Deleted User]

Here's my confession: FI is at the tux place picking out a tux right now. We looked at pictures and he showed me what he wanted, which was exactly what I would have picked if I were him. A small part of me is seriously concerned that he'll get there and decide to go all rogue by picking out some god awful powder blue number just because he thinks it will be funny.

crfische

And if he does, it will be funny.

[Deleted User]

Yes, but only a little funny since it will severly clash with my hot pink balloon arch.

playtntsbpg30

I'm late in the game but since it still seems active I mise well add on.

Confession: I think it's due to the holidays, but I've been wanting to contact a friend or ex friend. We kinda had it out a few months ago. Last time we talked it was relatively decent. I just really miss her company as much as a pain she was at the same time. She could always life my sprites up high and make me laugh. I miss her kids. I know they're getting so big. We were friends since high school. I know friends come and go. I know I should probably let go but it's been bugging me more and more lately.  When she found out my dad was in the hospital before Thanksgiving she made the comment to her grandma that she wanted to call me but didn't know how I would react. (her grandma and my mom talk once in awhile).
 ugh ok I guess that's something that's been bothering me and I can't really talk to FI about it. He can't stand her.
I'll just let it go. We aren't ment to be friends. This happens. I know.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confessions-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51aea11e-b472-4ff7-9e18-ec4d865f7928Post:635317aa-14b4-482c-bf24-1769ce9fe054">Re: Confessions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, but only a little funny since it will severly clash with my hot pink balloon arch.
<p>Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>My H went through a phase of insisting that the boys would be wearing green velvet tuxes. He was not joking.</p><p> </p><p>He then thought it would be awesome if he could find space suits to rent. I think he was only half joking, because he talked about it for ages and looked it up but couldn't find anything.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, because he'd left it so late given he'd been toying with the spacesuit idea, not to mention the fact that he hates shopping, he couldn't find anything other than regular tuxes and settled for those... thank god. </p>

[Deleted User]

I'm picturing your wedding pictures that were in that field and then picturing him in a spacesuit. It made me giggle.

I love the idea of spacesuits...at someone else's wedding.