Jeans............

crfische

Annnnddd....apparently some people don't have enough class to realize that it shouldn't go on an invitation?

And maybe some people have enough class to...oh...I don't know...love and accept their friends and family no matter what they choose to wear?

direy25

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any better...

nicweaver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:2ad34251-3c98-454c-b1d5-3300382b5ae2">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Way to be closed-minded about what constitutes a wedding. <strong>Are you aware that some people choose to have less formal celebrations where jeans would in fact be appropriate and that their marriages are equally valid?</strong>
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Completely understandable, and everyone is entitled to the type of wedding that want to have. But I think OP was saying that she wants a more formal wedding, so IMO jeans would be inappropriate at a formal event.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:3a0da580-518c-4a24-b1db-8ec39963e32d">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Completely understandable, and everyone is entitled to the type of wedding that want to have. But I think OP was saying that she wants a more formal wedding, so IMO jeans would be inappropriate at a formal event.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

Yes, I understand that. I was referring to the blanket statement "jeans are inappropriate for a wedding," not to OP's wedding in particular.

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:90e4de5a-92cd-4115-9074-665c13deb438">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I think a lot of people are being a bit snarky on here. Calling her names is not very productive. I absolutely would not want anyone wearing jeans to my wedding. I would never even dream of someone doing that, so I completely understand where <strong>your</strong> coming from OP.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

<div>And some people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're".  *AAAAHEM*</div><div>
</div><div>Sorry. I had something in my throat.</div>

crfische

I don't think anyone in this thread has ever once said, OH YEAH. JEANS ARE TOTALLY APPROPRIATE.

People have, however, said, ya know...it is kinda tacky, but you CANT CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE WEAR.

AND YOU CANT PUT IT IN THE INVITATION. Because you can't. It's rude and it's not proper etiquette.

And people have also said, if you let a person in jeans ruin your wedding day and you're willing to throw them OUT for that, then yeah. You're priorities are a little out of whack.

No one here is making a case for HELLS YEAH! EVERYONE WEAR JEANS TO WEDDINGS!! WHO CARES! Not one person.

nicweaver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:8ad99da2-f577-4bd7-85c1-7a6d1d3962bd">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]Annnnddd....apparently some people don't have enough class to realize that it shouldn't go on an invitation? And maybe some people have enough class to...oh...I don't know...<strong>love and accept their friends and family no matter what they choose to wear?</strong>
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

It has nothing to do with loving and accepting your friends and family. It is called etiquette, if it is a formal event, then formal attire should be assumed. And if it is not formal then wear jeans if you want to wear jeans.

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:3a0da580-518c-4a24-b1db-8ec39963e32d">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Completely understandable, and everyone is entitled to the type of wedding that want to have. But I think OP was saying that she wants a more formal wedding, so IMO jeans would be inappropriate at a formal event.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, they're inappropriate. Of course they are. That doesn't make it suddenly not rude for the host(s) to mistreat their guests based on their attire. Was there snark in this thread? Why, yes! Of course there was. It was in reaction to the "joke" OP made about throwing people out of they came to her wedding in jeans. </div>

crfische

Hey, Nicweaver. Are you even READING what people are writing?

solakinc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:2ad34251-3c98-454c-b1d5-3300382b5ae2">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Way to be closed-minded about what constitutes a wedding. Are you aware that some people choose to have less formal celebrations where jeans would in fact be appropriate and that their marriages are equally valid?
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry. I didn't clarify. If it is specified in the invitation that she would like more of a formal wedding, then jeans are certainly inappropriate. If you would like a less formal wedding, then more power to you. I have seen beautiful weddings, both formal and informal. (Attended one that the reception was in at a gun range lodge. Jeans are totally appropriate and were worn.) I just don't think that OP's wedding gives off any clues to be such an informal wedding, which would make jeans inappropriate.
I wasn't trying to be close-minded, I was just stating what I think OP was thinking.

And no, I wasn't talking about taco bell.

nicweaver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:46b72d56-e194-4dd4-a50d-a6f9ea295db7">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think anyone in this thread has ever once said, OH YEAH. JEANS ARE TOTALLY APPROPRIATE. People have, however, said, ya know...it is kinda tacky, but you CANT CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE WEAR. AND YOU CANT PUT IT IN THE INVITATION. Because you can't. It's rude and it's not proper etiquette. And people have also said, if you let a person in jeans ruin your wedding day and you're willing to throw them OUT for that, then yeah. You're priorities are a little out of whack. No one here is making a case for HELLS YEAH! EVERYONE WEAR JEANS TO WEDDINGS!! <strong>WHO CARES</strong>! Not one person.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

You seem to care a lot if you keep reposting about it. I don't agree that she should "kick people out", that would be rude, I just agree that I don't think its polite to wear jeans to a formal event. That's it.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:3a0da580-518c-4a24-b1db-8ec39963e32d">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Completely understandable, and <strong>everyone is entitled to the type of wedding that want to have</strong>. But I think OP was saying that she wants a more formal wedding, so IMO jeans would be inappropriate at a formal event.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

Ew. People are entitled to get married if they are of age and have a valid license, but no one is entitled to throw a party where family and friends must wear what they are told to wear. THAT'S rude. The whole point is to celebrate two people getting married. Just be glad people want to come to your party.

emilyinchile

On the note of someone in jeans not ruining your wedding day, we had two receptions (one in Chile, one in the US). At our Chilean one, a friend wore jeans because he'd forgotten to pack his dress pants when he came to Chile - I only remember this because he apologized to my H, who then told me. It really didn't register on my wedding day, nor has it ruined my pictures. At the US reception, I honestly couldn't tell you if anyone wore jeans. Like seriously have no idea, I'd have to look at the pictures again. And neither was a jeans-appropriate style party, it just isn't a big deal when you're busy being happy celebrating your marriage.

This is just one of those worries that is unnecessary because it is so unimportant when all is said and done.

nicweaver

Hey crfische, why yes I am.

xyrius

I don't understand what you're arguing about nicweaver.  You've basically re-stated what everyone else has said.  We all know it's rude for guests to show up in jeans to a formal event, but the issue was that the OP wanted to "kick-out" her guests if they showed up in jeans and/or put NO JEANS on the invite - which is also very, very rude.

crfische

Coulda fooled me.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:62cc5fde-48d7-4f4d-b354-261bec5463db">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : You seem to care a lot if you keep reposting about it. I don't agree that she should "kick people out", that would be rude, I just agree that I don't think its polite to wear jeans to a formal event. That's it.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

Oh my god you have a serious reading comprehension problem. She's not saying "who cares" about this topic, it's part of the point (that no one is making) of "who cares if anyone wears jeans, jeans are great".

Read first, THEN formulate your response.

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:62cc5fde-48d7-4f4d-b354-261bec5463db">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : You seem to care a lot if you keep reposting about it. I don't agree that she should "kick people out", that would be rude, I just agree that I don't think its polite to wear jeans to a formal event. That's it.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

<div>Would anyone care to join me in a :::headdesk:::?</div><div>
</div><div>nic. Can I call you nic? Ms. Weaver? I think you actually agree with what's being said here. Am I right? We're saying "Yeah, jeans are tacky, but what can you do?" and it seems you agree. You don't agree with the snark? Is that the issue? We're snarky. It's how we are. What can you do?</div>

crfische

It pains me to admit that I think nicweaver...nic? Weaves? And I are agreeing...but we are...and I don't get why she's arguing.

Wrkn925

The snark was not aimed at her disliking jeans.

The snark was aimed at her thinking it is ok to kick someone out, and because she acted like a toddler after she got good advice.

It is inappropriate to wear jeans to a formal wedding, but that doesn't make doing attire checks acceptable.

nicweaver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:3e289501-6db1-4934-a84c-94c5fa95d7c8">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand what you're arguing about nicweaver.  You've basically re-stated what everyone else has said.  We all know it's rude for guests to show up in jeans to a formal event, but the issue was that the OP wanted to "kick-out" her guests if they showed up in jeans and/or put NO JEANS on the invite - which is also very, very rude.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

I was just trying to say that I thought some people were being snarky to OP and that there are better ways to state your opinion without being rude. That's what I was trying to get across. I didn't think it would cause this much drama over what I said.

sarah0725

Nic, here's the deal.

Yes, it is poor etiquette to show up at a wedding in jeans, if you are in fact aware that it is meant to be a formal or semiformal occasion (and the style of the invitation/wedding location should tell you that). We all agree about that.

On the other hand, though, as a host of a party, it is not your job to be an etiquette enforcer. That, in fact, is also poor etiquette. Your job as host is to be as gracious as possible, making sure that all of your invited guests feel comfortable and have a good time. Sure, dressing inappropriately is a breach of etiquette, but we are taking issue with the OP screeching about this breach of etiquette and threatening to throw people out, which is in fact a worse breach of etiquette.

Get it?

It's sort of like how you're supposed to bring a gift if you're a guest, but if you're the bride you're not supposed to be upset if people don't bring gifts.

emilyinchile

You guys, I have the solution. For all those friends who you love so much and can't imagine not having as part of your special day but don't want as bridesmaids? You make them attire checkers. They stand at the door and refuse admission to anyone in jeans or otherwise inappropriate clothing. That way they feel superspecial AND you don't get any ugly people in your photos.

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:ade1a265-1fb8-4588-b2fb-c9f3dfea9da5">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : I was just trying to say that I thought some people were being snarky to OP and that there are better ways to state your opinion without being rude. That's what I was trying to get across. I didn't think it would cause this much drama over what I said.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

I hope you aren't this dense in real life.

mandapanda78

I have an idea for a drinking game: go back through this thread and do a shot every time someone says "drama". Do TWO shots every time someone says "taco". 

crfische

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:1f8c5ce3-af0c-4b11-890b-f70fc3db5687">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]I have an idea for a drinking game: go back through this thread and do a shot every time someone says "drama". Do TWO shots every time someone says "taco". 
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]


Brilliant.

Wrkn925

Maybe I'm over reacting here -- however jeans -- to me -- are something I wear when running errands and are fairly comfortable...they were not intended to be worn to a reception, or worse, a wedding!  I own a few pairs of VERY nice jeans (woo hoo outlet shopping!) however would never think to wear them! Now, I'm the one who's planning a wedding -- how do I get my point across that you'll be kicked out if you show up in jeans...maybe without being so harsh!  haha I do mean the above with a bit of a light heart, sarcastic feel, but it is something I feel pretty strong about!  I'm not paying this much money on a meal for you to wear something you'd wear if I bought you Taco Bell too!
Posted by sarahlm619

This, plus getting mad at people saying "No", plus deleting the OP deserved snark.

beatlesgirl25

Do three shots every time someone says snark?

crfische

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:d46fa249-a03c-4b63-8820-88190e433b36">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]Do three shots every time someone says snark? ;)
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
Double Brilliance.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jeans-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f01757f-2112-423c-87cb-05dbbf980d12Post:4878550e-13c3-4c5b-ba9d-6f90149ac1fa">Re: Jeans............</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jeans............ : Double Brilliance.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I figured that the word is so loaded already, why not get loaded too? Wheee!:P