Adult only reception

whitney_15545

I included the names of the guest I was inviting on all the RSVP cards and even had "Please no children, we are having an adult only celebration" on about 10 of our 200 invites for the people that I assumed would bring their children anyway.  I have a huge family and was horrifed at my future sister in laws wedding when her cousin (3 or 4 at the time) who happened to be the ring bearer, spit in the donation box at the church and ran around the reception to step on her dress (ripping out her bussle at one point)....at that point, I knew there would not be kids at my wedding!!! Although I wish that I could invite certain "well behaved" children, I can't pick and choose! I think that we are going to allow my aunt and uncle to bring there 3 children (ages 1-6) to the ceremony, only because I know that the girls (the 2 oldest) would enjoy it! But we havent completely decided.  I do absolutely loooove kids and can't wait to have our own.  But when I was younger, I never went to a wedding, unless I was in it as a flower girl....my parents always got sitters.  I wish that we could have sitters at the reception but there isnt room at our venue or the budget for that!
As for out of town guests, this was tricky, I dont have family members that this would affect but my groom had 1 cousin that was out of town that has 2 children.  My FMIL FREAKED when we said no children and even when her relatives started planning their vacation around our wedding, she didnt tell them that we werent having children at the wedding.  We asked her to ask someone that she works with or something to see if they could watch the kids, she said, "they aren't my kids so I'm not finding them a babysitter."  I feel bad, but they aren't my kids or relatives (yet) either.  I"m not close with them and neither is my fiance so Im sorry if their feelings are hurt (when they find out) but its my only wedding and this is how we want it!!

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gifts-girlsopinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:af30cc33-6f26-4532-ac07-c8e36d3aac20Post:783f2275-4680-4840-ae6f-ef8e5cf8acf2">Re: Gifts for my girls...opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gifts for my girls...opinions please :   A $25.00 gc for amazon with a note to download a new book to my kindle would mean so much more to me than a bedazzled hoodie, and other "stuff".  It would show that my friend shoped for a friend and not just for a member of her WP.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]
Trix--I love to read but I've been hesitant to make the leap to kindle.  Do you recommend it?

sharaval

i am in a similar situation.  wedding in vegas, we don't want kids there to cry and act up and whine... especially my fiance's 2 little cousins.  actually they are the reason we decided no kids.  so what i did was i set up a wedding website and i put it on there.  i put the website on the save-the-date cards, and i actually had them printed on the reception cards too, saying to please visit for "important information".  then on the website, i put it under "events", and put it as an "important note" on there.  here's what it says:

"Although we love our younger friends and family members, we ask that no one under the age of 21 attend the wedding or reception.  Thank you in advance."

hopefully it works!  and just to make sure, since my fiance's aunt seems to think she can bring her kids anyways because she can't find anyone who is willing to babysit them, i am also going to let the people at the wedding and reception sites know ahead of time that no one with children should be allowed to come in.  not sure how well that would work with your situation, but it's worth a shot to talk to the people at the resort.

good luck!  and remember... this is YOUR wedding, no one else's. 

mrs.payne2010

i honestly dont think this is that big of a deal. if they dont want kids then fine, if they do then thats great too. no need for you girls to be so nasty about it with eachother. i have a son, yes he will be the ring bearer however my wedding is no kids wedding. its just simply to expensive to have all the kids come.
and i dont think she was saying that all parents cant take care of there screaming kids but there are probably some in her guest list that parent diferent then others. i wouldnt invite some kids and not others simply because they are "better kids".

I honestly dont get what the fuss is about. its her day not yours.

darcibride2010

I'm not having children at my wedding because I don't want them there.

That's the only reason. 

So far, no one has had a problem with it and I couldn't be happier. 

I like kids enough, but won't be having any myself, and I don't want them at my wedding.

I don't think anyone should be able to decide for you what you want... it's your wedding and as long as you and your fiance(e) agree - who cares what anyone else thinks!

May292011

Relax, she is not saying that YOU are personally a bad parent, but some don't tend to their kids properly.  Remember you don't speak to for all parents.  If you love kids and had them at your wedding, Good for you! (Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back though).  Maybe she can watch toddlers dancing without a care in another atmosphere. Besides I don't think she was asking for anyone's approval but rather a tactful way of making it known that it is an adults only event for whatever reasons she wants.  Her reasons don't have to be sincere to you.  

abbyhughes

we are planning an adult only ceremony and reception, and it was not easy, we made it known about a year ahead of time for the same reasons as you, we are not kid people, and we do not want to pay for them. The best way to go about it for us was to say we had to keep our guest list under 100 people and the hotel has a no child policy when liquer is being server. I had a few people a little upset but my fiance has a brother with 6 kids under the age of 11 and a sister with 4 kids under the age of 8 and i have random family member who have kids and shouldn't and the one thing all these kids have in common is the parents think its everyone eleses responsibility to watch them, and I will not deal with it on my wedding day, good luck with everything, and don't let anyone stress you out about it, i hope this helps you

mrsburden82

We had our first wedding at our church so our family and close friends could attend with their children and unlike what many people are saying:  Parents were not concerned about what their children were doing!  They were dressed very inappropriately for a church let alone a wedding ceremony and found their way into majority of my pictures, once again, dressed inappropriately.  For our upcoming cocktail party celebration and dinner we put "Adult Reception" on the actual invitations and I do NOT care what anyone thinks!  They are not footing the bill... if they want kids at their wedding, that's fine.  Then I had an idiot cousin by marriage ask me:  "By "Adult Reception" do you mean no kids can come? zwell zi won't be there and don't be surprised if no one else shows up!"  Give me a break... My thoughts, people should keep their opinions to themselves unless it is solicited or you are footing the bill.  Secondly, don't be so defensive!  Couples who do not choose to have children at their wedding are not "jealous" that they do not have children, do not necessarily hate your children, etc (you should hear some of the things this idiot said) it just means that they did not desire children's presence on THEIR special day.

jlynn310

My issue is telling my step-mom why I'm not inviting step-cousins kids (9 kids).  Im not even that close to the cousins and only kids are nieces and nephews.  After reading one post, I may include wedding party's kids, but as she said, they prob would rather have a night w/out them!  HUGE source of stress for me!  My Dad and her are paying for weddimg, but we are dangerously close to venues max comfortable capacity w/ adults!  

DMW92010

I don't think that anyone should jump on Jennspud's case. Perhaps it could have been worded better, but it is her wedding and her choice not to have children. She is not wrong or evil for this. I know many people who do not keep as close an eye as they could on their children and I've been at functions where they are running around and getting in to things. They're just being kids, but that should not have to be a bride's concern on her big day. I love my future neice and nephew-in-laws, but I will be honest, their mothers do not really watch them and let them do whatever because they get in their hair alot and they just don't want to deal with them. The parents are single parents, they're young and, understandably they are overwhelmed at times. My fiance and I have hosted a couple of functions and have been to family functions where the kids are just all over the place and their moms just yell at them to stop but they don't. I know how they can be and I am one who LOVES children. I teach and want at least 3 of my own. But, I don't want them all over the place at the wedding.

You are allowed to write adult reception on the invites. I'm not sure how it would go with the ceremony, I guess similar wording? This is what I have learned from several wedding sites and professionals.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]I don't think that anyone should jump on Jennspud's case. Perhaps it could have been worded better, but it is her wedding and her choice not to have children. She is not wrong or evil for this. I know many people who do not keep as close an eye as they could on their children and I've been at functions where they are running around and getting in to things. They're just being kids, but that should not have to be a bride's concern on her big day. I love my future neice and nephew-in-laws, but I will be honest, their mothers do not really watch them and let them do whatever because they get in their hair alot and they just don't want to deal with them. The parents are single parents, they're young and, understandably they are overwhelmed at times. My fiance and I have hosted a couple of functions and have been to family functions where the kids are just all over the place and their moms just yell at them to stop but they don't. I know how they can be and I am one who LOVES children. I teach and want at least 3 of my own. But, I don't want them all over the place at the wedding. <strong>You are allowed to write adult reception on the invites. I'm not sure how it would go with the ceremony, I guess similar wording? This is what I have learned from several wedding sites and professionals.</strong>
Posted by DMW92010[/QUOTE]

No, you are not allowed to write that. This is the problem that many women have here with brides who want adult-only receptions - not the adult-only reception in and of itself - that they believe they are allowed to specifically point out on the invite who is not invited.

lizandcarlos

Carlos and I are planning an adult-only reception for cost reasons.  We are going to include the children we want there in the wedding party, put "Adult Reception" on the invitations, and when people call to ask, our music includes our favorite heavy metal band, and we can't censor their lyrics ^_^.  I'm also doing it to get some of the 21!!! aunts and uncles and 64!!!! cousins to trim themselves from the guest list.