I would also be worrying about his health. That's probably not what is causing this, but it is a cause for concern. His personality just drastically changing is a big red flag. Something is wrong in his life, whether it be something medically or just something emotional.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:2e598588-1f9b-4fdb-bbcd-0611a7924b69">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]I'm so sorry this is happening. Maybe if a separation happens and he suddenly doesn't have you to pay the bills he'll wake up? :( Good luck. Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]
Well she doesn't want him coming back just to have someone to pay his bill though. I'm sure that's not what you meant, but it's just how it sounded.
Maaaaaybe we should get a couple of bull's legs and beat him with them repeatedly. Just to give him a little taste of what his life is going to be like without Whit and with bulls.
I'm sorry, giving up your beautiful, loving, vivacious wife to go hang out with some cows? Hell no.
Totally natural that you are moving from sadness to anger. And good you are spending the weekend with a friend. However, I agree with PP who said that even if, come Monday, he has changed his tune, he still has serious issues to work out. If he does come around Monday saying he was wrong, blah blah blah, insist on counseling. And if he refuses, then that should be a dealbreaker. He can't just say the things he said, do the things he's doing and expect to just say "oops!" and have things be ok.
Good luck, and we'll be thinking of you. And I meant every word I said before. Stay strong and take care of YOU first.
Whit, I'm so sorry I'm late to this too. I read all 8 pages and agree with almost everything that everyone else has said.
I'm so so so so so so sorry, Whit. I can't imagine what you're going through.
My $0.02 :
If my husband ever tried to manipulate me, I'd be livid. That's exactly what Shane is doing to you. Manitpulating you in to thinking that you're the problem. I'd leave if this is what life was like.
If my husband ever scared me to the point that I thought he even might hit me...I'd RUN FAST.
If my husband refused to go to counseling at any point (let alone 2 months in) in our marriage to help save our relationship, that would be my sign. I'm really with everyone who said Shane doesn't want to be married or want a future with you. So much of what you've said proves that.
Best wishes sweetie, you know we're all here for you. I really hope you can work something out and discover the happiness you deserve.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:ebcb29c1-19e6-458e-a417-006fd1d7c972">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]i haven't read the whole thread...that really blows. what a flying douchebag. i wonder if he intentionally pulled a bait and switch? Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
I hate the bait and switch. But I love your siggy. lol
Not to mention if this is the way his family is (talking about you behind your back, taking H's side in your business, etc) this will probably continue unless he puts a stop to it. What he is allowing them to do to you is just as hurtful. I couldn't handle that either.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:0a7251ad-ea91-4003-8966-68e3cc5d51a0">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE] This is off topic, sorry. I'm also 100% positive the dog in that video is having a seizure. Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
I thought he was dreaming. Haven't you ever seen a dog dream that he's running and he actually runs like that?
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:42460179-f3b5-4d1d-af24-4d0dd8cd0790">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need some help. : I thought he was dreaming. Haven't you ever seen a dog dream that he's running and he actually runs like that? Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE] Mine does it all the time. She practically kicks me out of bed sometimes. But the running into the wall thing can't be dreaming, I don't think.
The "paddling" followed by running into the wall makes me think it's a seizure. Some dogs lose vision after a seizure and run into things. I have a video of my dog doing this right before her major grand mal seizure starts. I gave it to the vet when he told me I was over-reacting.
I may very well be projecting my seziure experience onto that random dog. It just look really similar to what Shy's seizures used to be before they got really bad.
Sorry, didn't mean to bring more sad to this thread.
Guys I'm still reading but I'm on my BB and it's hard to respond. I'm trying to talk him into going to counseling with me tonight. Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:ebcb29c1-19e6-458e-a417-006fd1d7c972">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]i haven't read the whole thread...that really blows. what a flying douchebag. i wonder if he intentionally pulled a bait and switch? Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
I kinda wonder this as well. He was a good boy until everything was signed and sealed, all the while knowing in the back of his head, consciously or not, that if he just got a wife to support the household he could go off galavanting into the sunset on a pissed off bull. And everything would be hunkydory.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:8cc5a654-1a1a-4bbb-86e4-4860624b1807">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE] Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation. Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
I'm really glad, and I sincerely hope he will go with you tonight. Big hug from me Whit. Stay strong.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:0a7251ad-ea91-4003-8966-68e3cc5d51a0">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE] This is off topic, sorry. I'm also 100% positive the dog in that video is having a seizure. Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:8cc5a654-1a1a-4bbb-86e4-4860624b1807">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]Guys I'm still reading but I'm on my BB and it's hard to respond. I'm trying to talk him into going to counseling with me tonight. Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation. Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
Big hugs. You deserve to be happy and have your own dreams. Don't ever forget that. (assuming, of course, that your dream isn't working 3 jobs and supporting an unemployed husband. But then we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we??? Yeah.)
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:74cfe12a-0446-47d2-aa0e-3914e7b01306">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need some help. : Big hugs. You deserve to be happy and have your own dreams. Don't ever forget that. (assuming, of course, that your dream isn't working 3 jobs and supporting an unemployed husband. But then we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we??? Yeah.) Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:8cc5a654-1a1a-4bbb-86e4-4860624b1807">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]Guys I'm still reading but I'm on my BB and it's hard to respond. I'm trying to talk him into going to counseling with me tonight. Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation. Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE] <div> </div><div>If your mood boost begins to fade or you start to lose confidence, come back for more support. 8 pages should tell you that plenty of people around here are willing to help. </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:593d66bf-bfce-474a-937e-5ff8acee3b6e">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]He's refusing counseling. I knew he would. Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
Of course, figures.
Know that you've got all the support you need here.
I'm very sorry that your husband is a big fat baby Whitson. This is so incredibly immature and self involved of him that I can't even begin to describe it. I understand wanting to realize a dream, but you can't just go chase it all willy nilly when you are one half of a partnership.
And what kind of man decides to up and quit his job when his wife is killing herself working three of them? Thats no man. This alone makes me want to come where ever you live and kick him square in the nuts.
Maybe he didn't realize he didn't want these things until he was in them and the reality of being an adult started smacking him in the face. I agree with others that this is far more about not wanting the responsibility that comes with marriage than it is just about bull riding. You just deserve so much better than this.
I called Mr Eastunder to ask for his man view on all this and his answer was to leave him, especially if he won't even entertain the idea of counseling. Because adult men that respect their wives, their marriages and themselves do not behave like this. Period. And you deserve someone that respects you Whit. I hope you know that.
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
Just out of curiosity, what reason has he given for not going to counseling with you? I'm sorry if I'm prying. Don't pay me any attention if you don't want to share that.
Yeah, I asked FI when he got up for a few minutes. Even in his sleepy haze, he said Shane's a douche. He would never do something that would jeopardize our livelihood or marriage, no matter how badly he wanted to do it all the time. And any man that makes a decision like that, or effectively makes his wife make that decision for him, is in no way deserving of the honor of having a wife.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bfe5c83-8fc5-4d8d-8d01-96cca69dd9e5Post:44577525-e746-4cc8-95e8-e02e0d021d49">Re: I need some help.</a>: [QUOTE]I'm still trying to talk him into it, I have until 6. So we'll see. Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
<div>No relationship should ever have to be like this. He should WANT to work with you.</div>
His reasoning today, LC, is he's too tired. He didn't get any sleep tonight. He is having a bad day and work and he doesn't want to go. If you ask me tomorrow, it'll be a different response
Re: I need some help.
I would also be worrying about his health. That's probably not what is causing this, but it is a cause for concern. His personality just drastically changing is a big red flag. Something is wrong in his life, whether it be something medically or just something emotional.
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry this is happening. Maybe if a separation happens and he suddenly doesn't have you to pay the bills he'll wake up? :( Good luck.
Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]
Well she doesn't want him coming back just to have someone to pay his bill though. I'm sure that's not what you meant, but it's just how it sounded.
I'm sorry, giving up your beautiful, loving, vivacious wife to go hang out with some cows? Hell no.
Good luck, and we'll be thinking of you. And I meant every word I said before. Stay strong and take care of YOU first.
I'm so so so so so so sorry, Whit. I can't imagine what you're going through.
My $0.02 :
If my husband ever tried to manipulate me, I'd be livid. That's exactly what Shane is doing to you. Manitpulating you in to thinking that you're the problem. I'd leave if this is what life was like.
If my husband ever scared me to the point that I thought he even might hit me...I'd RUN FAST.
If my husband refused to go to counseling at any point (let alone 2 months in) in our marriage to help save our relationship, that would be my sign. I'm really with everyone who said Shane doesn't want to be married or want a future with you. So much of what you've said proves that.
Best wishes sweetie, you know we're all here for you. I really hope you can work something out and discover the happiness you deserve.
[QUOTE]i haven't read the whole thread...that really blows. what a flying douchebag. i wonder if he intentionally pulled a bait and switch?
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
I hate the bait and switch. But I love your siggy. lol
This is off topic, sorry.
I'm also 100% positive the dog in that video is having a seizure.
[QUOTE] This is off topic, sorry. I'm also 100% positive the dog in that video is having a seizure.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
I thought he was dreaming. Haven't you ever seen a dog dream that he's running and he actually runs like that?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need some help. : I thought he was dreaming. Haven't you ever seen a dog dream that he's running and he actually runs like that?
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
Mine does it all the time. She practically kicks me out of bed sometimes. But the running into the wall thing can't be dreaming, I don't think.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Sorry, didn't mean to bring more sad to this thread.
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
[QUOTE]i haven't read the whole thread...that really blows. what a flying douchebag. i wonder if he intentionally pulled a bait and switch?
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
I kinda wonder this as well. He was a good boy until everything was signed and sealed, all the while knowing in the back of his head, consciously or not, that if he just got a wife to support the household he could go off galavanting into the sunset on a pissed off bull. And everything would be hunkydory.
Featured Showing: Planning Bio-The Original
Coming Soon: Married Bio
[QUOTE] Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
I'm really glad, and I sincerely hope he will go with you tonight. Big hug from me Whit. Stay strong.
[QUOTE] This is off topic, sorry. I'm also 100% positive the dog in that video is having a seizure.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
No, he's not.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqrhZW9xIrY&feature=related" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqrhZW9xIrY&feature=related</a>
It looks that way in the sig video, just because it's choppy. Watch the real video.
[QUOTE]Guys I'm still reading but I'm on my BB and it's hard to respond. I'm trying to talk him into going to counseling with me tonight. Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
Big hugs. You deserve to be happy and have your own dreams. Don't ever forget that. (assuming, of course, that your dream isn't working 3 jobs and supporting an unemployed husband. But then we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we??? Yeah.)
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need some help. : Big hugs. You deserve to be happy and have your own dreams. Don't ever forget that. (assuming, of course, that your dream isn't working 3 jobs and supporting an unemployed husband. But then we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we??? Yeah.)
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]
Sayeth the Moose, with wisdom and clarity.
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
[QUOTE]Guys I'm still reading but I'm on my BB and it's hard to respond. I'm trying to talk him into going to counseling with me tonight. Thanks for everything guys. I was really scared to come forth with all this but I'm so glad I did. It's been a huge boost to my mood and I'm feeling more confident about the situation.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>If your mood boost begins to fade or you start to lose confidence, come back for more support. 8 pages should tell you that plenty of people around here are willing to help. </div>
[QUOTE]He's refusing counseling. I knew he would.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
Of course, figures.
Know that you've got all the support you need here.
Featured Showing: Planning Bio-The Original
Coming Soon: Married Bio
And what kind of man decides to up and quit his job when his wife is killing herself working three of them? Thats no man. This alone makes me want to come where ever you live and kick him square in the nuts.
Maybe he didn't realize he didn't want these things until he was in them and the reality of being an adult started smacking him in the face. I agree with others that this is far more about not wanting the responsibility that comes with marriage than it is just about bull riding. You just deserve so much better than this.
I called Mr Eastunder to ask for his man view on all this and his answer was to leave him, especially if he won't even entertain the idea of counseling. Because adult men that respect their wives, their marriages and themselves do not behave like this. Period. And you deserve someone that respects you Whit. I hope you know that.
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
Featured Showing: Planning Bio-The Original
Coming Soon: Married Bio
[QUOTE]I'm still trying to talk him into it, I have until 6. So we'll see.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
<div>No relationship should ever have to be like this. He should WANT to work with you.</div>
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com