AEs posting stuff

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:584e56dc-3ced-4e81-b88a-eb79324f911b">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : But people already do this anyway. 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I know - there is no perfect solution.  I wish boxkitty was the only AE allowed.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:1a289705-7dcd-4b70-bcca-2f99bb45f358">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I totally believe you; I really do.  But, I think that this being a public forum, and people being people, this is going to happen regardless.  I just understand that what may be important to me may not be to you, and if its important enough to me to go create an AE and ask a serious question, I would want my "friends" on here to understand that and actually give me advice rather than a hard time, 
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

Well, that seals it.  Mulvey here made one of the AE's.

Sorry Moose.  I'll copy you on the next memo.

elmulvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:a0690b3e-fe24-491d-9273-95ff8a187ea1">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : Oh FFS Elm.  You aren't really understanding what's being said here.  At all.  Time creates trust, therefore creates understanding of person.  If I came on and said that my cousin had abused me, but my mom didn't know, there would be a GIANT response, because I know a looot of people here.  Are they sure that I'm not lying? No, but they do know that it's not my habit to make something like that up, and are more apt to believe me. Everyone lies about their life sometimes, but it's not like you sit around wondering who lied to you about what all day long, is it?  Well, I don't sit here and think, "Dani's lying about living in Indiana."  But because I've "known" her for so long, and she's able to answer things about Indiana... I kinda assume she's telling the truth, because there's a basis of trust that has been built. <strong> Jesus.  Do you really need things spelled out to you like this in every day life?</strong>
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

And here is the reason that people may post under an AE.
  If you read my posts, I have repeatedly said I UNDERSTAND what everyone is saying.  As in I comprehend it.  As in, no, I dont need you to spell out anything for me.  I have validated your points...why is it so hard for you to understand why someone would create an AE to ask a question or pose an issue?  Is it so hard to understand why someone may not want you to know its them asking for help?

Belle2Be

Just jumping in, where are these AE's? And whats a MUD?

Isn't EVERYONE here an alter ego? Like seriously, my name isn't Belle and I"m not a lion...

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:1a289705-7dcd-4b70-bcca-2f99bb45f358">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I totally believe you; I really do.  But, I think that this being a public forum, and people being people, this is going to happen regardless.  I just understand that what may be important to me may not be to you, and<span style="font-weight:bold;"> if its important enough to me to go create an </span>AE<span style="font-weight:bold;"> and ask a serious question, I would want my "friends" on here to understand that and actually give me advice rather than a hard time, </span>
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

But if you're an AE, we don't know that we're friends!  If you're my "friend"  on here, but you post under an AE, I don't know it's you!  For all I know, you could just be someone making stuff up or you could be some lurker that just joined today, or who knows what. 

elmulvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:79b60f31-f75f-48fd-b620-774a43668a94">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : Well, that seals it.  Mulvey here made one of the AE's. Sorry Moose.  I'll copy you on the next memo.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]


Yeah? Which one is mine? 

wadingmoose

We understand why it's hard for some people.  We've seen the effects (Jessjo, Whit, rach).  WE KNOW.

But, we're also raising the boy who cried wolf scenario.  If all of a sudden we're flooded with AEs with problems they aren't comfortable discussing with the board, we're probably going to start taking them less seriously.

georgia_bride09

Which circles back to me saying the original sn was probably just as anonymous in TKLand, Amoro.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:12237504-44e3-4691-9cc8-93893c093222">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : And here is the reason that people may post under an AE.   If you read my posts, I have repeatedly said I UNDERSTAND what everyone is saying.  As in I comprehend it.  As in, no, I dont need you to spell out anything for me.  I have validated your points...why is it so hard for you to understand why someone would create an AE to ask a question or pose an issue?  Is it so hard to understand why someone may not want you to know its them asking for help?
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

It really, really seems like you're missing the point of this discussion.  I don't think anyone would not understand why someone would post about their drug-addicted FI under an AE.  Yeah, that's not something you want to spread all over the place.

What people are questioning is using an AE to ask about something rather innocuous, like whether they should continue in an MBA program.  Nobody here is going to judge someone for that, or likely bring it up ever again.

georgia_bride09

Also, elm, just give it up already. You're defending dead air, basically.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:12237504-44e3-4691-9cc8-93893c093222">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : And here is the reason that people may post under an AE.   If you read my posts, I have repeatedly said I UNDERSTAND what everyone is saying.  As in I comprehend it.  As in, no, I dont need you to spell out anything for me.  I have validated your points...why is it so hard for you to understand why someone would create an AE to ask a question or pose an issue?  Is it so hard to understand why someone may not want you to know its them asking for help?
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

God you're annoying.  It should be a SERIOUS issue though, and not asking advice about classes.  MYGOD. 

Glad you got advice about your school decision though. 

regbutnot

Kiki, I'm sorry I misunderstood you. I didn't mean to attack you. This whole thing has me pretty emotional.

elmulvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:4b012a4c-ac3e-49d2-8fe7-f293a82f7d6c">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : So.  Why does this matter so much to YOU?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]


I felt bad for a girl who is saying she was abused by a family member and instead of getting advice she was getting crap.

My bad. 

Whats funny is that I have read on here that its nice to be able to have a disagreement with people on these boards without it getting ugly...and here I am trying to disagree without getting ugly, and then the regular posters come in...and waaaa laaaaa; now there are judgements being made about me and my life.  What did I do wrong except for disagree?

pumpkinpumpkin

Dani said it.
PLUS...the older regs will remember majikglassbride. Remember how she made up that her H/FI (I can't remember) beat her and pushed her through a glass table...so for me, as soon as I know it's an AE, I almost immediately think it's a troll/mud because of it.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:2d1beaae-d407-4a02-95cc-145b95c070ca">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]Which circles back to me saying the original sn was probably just as anonymous in TKLand, Amoro.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

I agree. 

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:e8b6cc33-85de-4e45-b9c8-e91a3f210d99">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]Kiki, I'm sorry I misunderstood you. I didn't mean to attack you. This whole thing has me pretty emotional.
Posted by regbutnot[/QUOTE]

No worries, sorry you're going through a tough time.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:2ef42d9e-1d09-49de-806f-02640c84f8ba">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]Just jumping in, where are these AE's? And whats a MUD? Isn't EVERYONE here an alter ego? Like seriously, my name isn't Belle and I"m not a lion...
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

MUD = made up drama.  And yeah kinda everybody has an AE but if you also have a bio and talk about your life people can get to know the "real" you.   And then people meet in real life ("IRL") sometimes and then become friends.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:da65e1e0-437a-4fc4-a4cd-db41404198ab">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I felt bad for a girl who is saying she was abused by a family member and instead of getting advice she was getting crap.
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

If she had posted as herself, she probably wouldn't have gotten "crap".  She did get good advice though, so...this is just a circular argument.  I'm done with it.

elmulvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:201a0265-5239-41e2-8514-095c6c8ea6f4">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : God you're annoying.  It should be a SERIOUS issue though, and not asking advice about classes.  MYGOD.  Glad you got advice about your school decision though. 
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]


Got it.  Thanks.  (PS-I wish I had time to go back to school.  Unfortunately that one wasnt me.) 

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:da65e1e0-437a-4fc4-a4cd-db41404198ab">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I felt bad for a girl who is saying she was abused by a family member and instead of getting advice she was getting crap. My bad.  Whats funny is that I have read on here that its nice to be able to have a disagreement with people on these boards without it getting ugly...and here I am trying to disagree without getting ugly, and then the regular posters come in...and waaaa laaaaa; now there are judgements being made about me and my life.  What did I do wrong except for disagree?
Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]


See, it goes both ways.  You can disagree with us.  And we can disagree with you.  What results is discussion.

When that discussion appears to go nowhere, some people get frustrated.

And your "Point' really did become a moving target.  When someone responded to your point, you moved it and changed what you were looking for. 

And you seem to be ignoring what people are actually saying and just posting to argue.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:db016537-421c-4ad9-b452-83a50106960f">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We understand why it's hard for some people.  We've seen the effects (Jessjo, Whit, rach). </strong> WE KNOW. But, we're also raising the boy who cried wolf scenario.  If all of a sudden we're flooded with AEs with problems they aren't comfortable discussing with the board, we're probably going to start taking them less seriously.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

<div>I've been there. It is hard. And? I'd never create an AE to discuss it, because it defeats the purpose of getting advice; it takes away a level of personalization that comes with the ladies around here knowing me for well over a year. </div><div>
</div><div>So, having been one of the few that has spilled personal info, gotten my ass handed to me and then some, I still have to say I think it's a cop out. If it's too personal to post under your own name, perhaps you shouldn't post it here---there might be better avenues out there to receive advice than The Knot.</div>

georgia_bride09

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : Whats funny is that I have read on here that its nice to be able to have a disagreement with people on these boards without it getting ugly...and here I am trying to disagree without getting ugly, and then the regular posters come in...and waaaa laaaaa; now there are judgements being made about me and my life. Posted by elmulvey[/QUOTE]

I think what you were looking for is "voila". YW.

AmoroAgain

Arguing with Mulvey

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:f9f765ed-2378-4f71-ad53-8be06ec582da">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I've been there. It is hard. And? I'd never create an AE to discuss it, because it defeats the purpose of getting advice; it takes away a level of personalization that comes with the ladies around here knowing me for well over a year.  So, having been one of the few that has spilled personal info, gotten my ass handed to me and then some, I still have to say I think it's a cop out. If it's too personal to post under your own name, perhaps you shouldn't post it here---there might be better avenues out there to receive advice than The Knot.
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]
Excellent Rach.  Really excellent advice.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:f9f765ed-2378-4f71-ad53-8be06ec582da">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AEs posting stuff : I've been there. It is hard. And? I'd never create an AE to discuss it, because it defeats the purpose of getting advice; it takes away a level of personalization that comes with the ladies around here knowing me for well over a year.  So, having been one of the few that has spilled personal info, gotten my ass handed to me and then some, I still have to say I think it's a cop out. If it's too personal to post under your own name, perhaps you shouldn't post it here---there might be better avenues out there to receive advice than The Knot.
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]


I can respect you for that, but I can also respect other people for seeing what you went through and deciding they'd rather not.  Know what I mean?

danieliza1127

Ewwww Amoro!!

I agree with Moose's conclusion about mulvey just posting to argue.

AmoroAgain

Sorry Dani.  I looked for dog chasing tail and found that instead.

ETA:  Speaking of AE's-- remember when MrsE thought I was one and was lying about living in Italy?? hahaha... I think she even told someone that IRL at a GTG. 

georgia_bride09

You better hope Mandy doesn't wander in here.

regbutnot

Well, I'm sorry for any trouble this post may have stirred up. And Rach, I've talked about it... Talked about it with FI, my therapist, my best friend... I really needed some unbiased opinions and ideas. As stupid as it sounds, I hadn't even thought to just skip it and do a recording, since all of our other music is live. So, I got help, and I got it in a way that made me feel comfortable, which I appreciate. I hadn't realized that this would annoy people. I know y'all aren't just talking about me, but it's clear that my post was fuel for the fire.

elmulvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_aes-posting-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dcc1004-da1f-44f4-8a54-a5799f7f606fPost:aa2e181e-4eaa-4255-a899-d8f25e986268">Re: AEs posting stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]Ewwww Amoro!! I agree with Moose's conclusion about mulvey just posting to argue.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]


I am sorry you feel that way; and have learned my lesson.