Unpopular Opinions?

FutureMrsTR

Don't worry, DNB & Andy.  This was, perhaps, the most boring discussion on gay marriage EVAR.  A lot of it didn't make sense and no one was really arguing, just sorting out facts.  I had to get a Pepsi to stay awake.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:8c54ef2b-583d-4de6-9cd8-02507dec84c4">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Yeah, and I'm not a spokesperson for the feminist community or anything, but I don't think they want to deny women that choice, just like being a SAHM is a choice and that's fine. <strong>It's just that one's decisions don't exist in a vacuum, so sometimes you have to think about the implications of your own choice.</strong> The personal is political and vice versa and whatever. But if certain feminist issues are important to you and you consider them and then make your choice and it ends up being "traditional" then more power to you, no one's going to revoke your Empowered Woman card for that. But I think that, still, a lot of people don't even think about their different options. And I'm betting that 95% of men don't think about it, either.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
I think this is where we fundamentally disagree. I don't think changing or not changing your name has any implications, whatsoever. Like I said, I don't look at women who don't change their name (my mom being one of them) and think "feminazi" and I don't look at women who do change their name (me, all the name changers on this board) and think "doormat/anti-feminist." I just think too much emphasis is placed on perceived implications of the choice. The choice to change or not change doesn't imply one damn thing, other than you kept the name you always had or you didn't, to me anyway.

cengle

So was she against gay marriage? I still can't tell. 

FutureMrsTR

Katy said she was for gay marriage.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:78610799-c46e-49c4-8a8b-6c6fc7d4405e">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]So was she against gay marriage? I still can't tell. 
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]
No, she's for it, but she doesn't think it's a "right" and that it's the federal government's perogative to recognize it or not. Or something like that.

Meg1979

After rereading her OP, I think she's miffed that the government is taking a role at all in marriages.  I think. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:36a3bbc2-f94b-4333-ae4d-f57ff4e9beab">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I think this is where we fundamentally disagree. I don't think changing or not changing your name has any implications, whatsoever. Like I said, I don't look at women who don't change their name (my mom being one of them) and think "feminazi" and I don't look at women who do change their name (me, all the name changers on this board) and think "doormat/anti-feminist." I just think too much emphasis is placed on perceived implications of the choice. The choice to change or not change doesn't imply one damn thing, other than you kept the name you always had or you didn't, to me anyway.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I agree with you, really. I don't feel that way, either. I just don't have enought confidence in humanity to trust that everyone feels the way we do. I guess I'm always afraid of confrontation when I make a choice that puts me in the minority. I'm not sure why.

Here's the study presented by the American Sociological Association showing that 50% of Americans think a woman should be legally required to change her name. Which clearly says they do NOT think it should be a choice:

<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html</a>

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:0817bcc1-2929-4cea-ad3b-7745f22cceb4">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]After rereading her OP, I think she's miffed that the government is taking a role at all in marriages.  I think. 
Posted by Meg1979[/QUOTE]

<div>Hehe at first I didn't read the word "her" in the phrase "After rereading her OP.." and I was like NO I DON'T LIKE THE FOCKERS AND BEN STILLER I SAID NOTHING ABOUT MARRIAGE.</div>

Birdie1483

Rosie hates the government!!

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:c2e8f368-eb58-436c-b563-e3cbc435ee22">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I agree with you, really. I don't feel that way, either. I just don't have enought confidence in humanity to trust that everyone feels the way we do. I guess I'm always afraid of confrontation when I make a choice that puts me in the minority. I'm not sure why. Here's the study presented by the American Sociological Association showing that 50% of Americans think a woman should be legally required to change her name. Which clearly says they do NOT think it should be a choice: <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html</a>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
oh.mah.gawd. (that's actually how I sound when I say omg.) That's pretty damn disturbing. My favorite part was one of the reasons given: the mail carrier would be confused. Because everyone who lives in one house or apartment must have the same last name or the entire postal system would go into chaos. Christ on a cracker.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:e90ad059-7135-4fd9-a33f-a89fc7b30f95">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't worry, DNB & Andy.  This was, perhaps, the most boring discussion on gay marriage EVAR.  A lot of it didn't make sense and no one was really arguing, just sorting out facts.  I had to get a Pepsi to stay awake.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

phew.  ok.  I think they should marry - think of what it would do for the wedding industry!

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:c2e8f368-eb58-436c-b563-e3cbc435ee22">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? :  Here's the study presented by the American Sociological Association showing that 50% of Americans think a woman should be legally required to change her name. Which clearly says they do NOT think it should be a choice: <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/08/12/2009-08-12_70_percent_of_americans_.html</a>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

WTF?  People are dumb. 

NuggetBrain

I always told Noodle I was going to add his last name to my maiden one rather than just take his, but my parents are divorced and so I already have a hyphenated last name, so that would be three last names and I'd feel like a cast member of Dallas. 

Anyways, we recently got a piece of mail addressed to Mr and Mrs LastName and I am going to confess I was stupidly excited to see that.

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:6d0ff2fd-71bf-4f3f-ab51-a14c36cf82a4">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyways, we recently got a piece of mail addressed to Mr and Mrs LastName and I am going to confess I was stupidly excited to see that.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

I made my maiden name my legal middle name.  I've gotten a few pieces of (mostly advertisement) mail addressed to MaidenName Family.  It made me chuckle.
As for the whole last name debate, I always figured I would take my H's last name unless I married someone with a stupid last name.  I don't really think of it as this huge deal, I guess.   

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:18a0dec2-dc57-4fa6-b31d-cbfae613f0af">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I made my maiden name my legal middle name.  
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

<div>I did this too.</div><div>
</div><div>Until I met H, I always thought I'd keep my last name and use the married name socially if I had kids.  But when we got engaged, I decided I wanted to share a last name with H, and it does thrill me to hear and see my new name.</div><div>
</div><div>As someone who was considered liberal for Berkeley back in the day, I find it completely offensive that people think it goes against the feminist cause to take my husband's last name.  If we're so against the male hierarchy, maybe we should copy the American Muslims and have X as last names.  There are so many more pressing issues when it comes to women's issues and the feminist movement.</div><div>
</div><div>I wouldn't mind a system where the government gave out domestic partnerships that had all the rights of marriage (insurance, taxes, custody, etc.).  The actual governance of "marriage" is social and should be dictated by your religion or beliefs.  </div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and cheap beer?  I happen to love Miller Light and Coors Light.  Cheap beer and bowling, that's H and my favorite Monday night activity (after MNF ends, of course),</div>

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:5c6642fc-e037-4d66-8ab4-b679c59a0f7f">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy moly... that was a tough UO to read all the way through. But I'm for gay marriage, against Chili's/Applebees, and all for a woman's right to make her name whatever she wants. I took H's. But my maiden name is way complicated, so that was half of the reason.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

<div>How do you feel about the fockers?</div>

salt78

I can name a million reasons to not love Peyton. It makes my heart sing that he is having such a craptastic season this year. 

Beachy730

Salt- the Bills were horrible last year (like most years) but the one thing I still brag about is that we ruined Peyton's undefeated season. 

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:2a99217d-3459-45e2-9b28-2d4d718f4afb">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : How do you feel about the fockers?
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

I actually liked Meet the Fockers better than the first movie, but I think that's just because I adore Dustin Hoffman.  Neither movie is all that great, but they're okay to me. 

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:6285f92f-d6c4-49cb-b9fe-e4a9f5eee351">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can name a million reasons to not love Peyton. It makes my heart sing that he is having such a craptastic season this year. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

You shut your mouth!

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:f1fdb1dd-ed14-4c63-8185-52a19d99d5f9">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was a right everyone would have to have it, yes.  
Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe this has already been addressed, but how so? A "right" =/= something that you absolutely have to participate in. A "right" is having the choice to do something if that's what you want to do. My husband has a right to vote for elected officials. He doesn't do it, but he could if he wanted to because it's his right.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Okay I think I was confused by your post again. But either way, what exactly is so wrong with everyone having the same rights? </div>

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:83405125-4421-4cb7-9c62-25a594b167c7">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Salt- the Bills were horrible last year (like most years) but the one thing I still brag about is that we ruined Peyton's undefeated season. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>That makes me smile. :)</div><div>And I don't think the Bills are horrible. They score lots of points. They just continue to get out-scored. It's not like their losses are total blowouts or anything. We had a tough time with them this season!</div>

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:f6e4e485-102a-4cfb-8a10-6a0250920764">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Maybe this has already been addressed, but how so? A "right" =/= something that you absolutely have to participate in. A "right" is having the choice to do something if that's what you want to do. My husband has a right to vote for elected officials. He doesn't do it, but he could if he wanted to because it's his right.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure anyone ever gathered exactly what she was trying to say.

I couldn't quite get over the contract stuff she was talking about. Yes, contracts are personal, but if there is a breach of contract, you go to the courts, and therefore the government, to enforce it, no? The government doesn't have to be a party to a contract to enforce it. 

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:36a09555-9756-45ad-8bd9-a6ab166d8954">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I'm not sure anyone ever gathered exactly what she was trying to say. 
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahaha yeah I just re-read and realized that I misunderstood her again. I give up. I am just going to assume that I disagree with what she is saying because I'm of the opinion that everyone should have equal rights and I believe that it is your right to get married. </div>

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:6285f92f-d6c4-49cb-b9fe-e4a9f5eee351">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can name a million reasons to not love Peyton. It makes my heart sing that he is having such a craptastic season this year. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I'm a born and raised Pats fan so I know I'm not supposed to like him but he comes off kinda lovable and nice.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f430863b-09d0-40eb-ac0a-aa71ff5037d7Post:0334c0c5-61d5-4273-aa2c-c05e825238f3">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? :  If we're so against the male hierarchy, maybe we should copy the American Muslims and have X as last names. 
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

If you're refering to Malcolm X, among others, I'm going to give this a big ol' eyeroll. It has nothing to do with being Muslim, thankyouverymuch. The X is in place of his birth name, which he decided to shed as many African Americans today have last names that were derived from their white masters under slavery - demonstrating <em>ownership</em>. And so it comes full circle.

His Islamic name was actually El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz. The X has nothing to do with relgion, k thanks.

salt78

Well then I assume that you love Tom Brady also, and I have very much the same issues with him that I have with Manning.

Birdie1483

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY SECRET LOVER!

salt78

Mery - The cat in your sig is ENORMOUS. I also enjoy the dead mouse under the tree.

Beachy730

I actually really like Peyton as an actor and I'm ready for him to retire from football after this craptastic season and go into acting more. 

And Salt the problem is that they started out absolutely horrible, and now they are doing better and winning when the only chance they have for the season is the #1 draft pick, so they should just stop trying to win.