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Snarky Brides

Changing your last name?

Hey all! I am curious what everyone on the SB board has done/is doing as far as last name changes go. I think it is an interesting topic and I'd love to hear what you all have done or are planning to do. There are so many options: keeping your name, changing your name, you hyphenating, both you and FI hyphenating, etc. 

I'm not sure which way I'd like to go. So if any of you have tips on how you made your decisions and what was important to you in changing or not changing your name, they would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Changing your last name?

  • I'm changing mine. I just always assumed I would, because it's what my mother and grandmothers did. I'll drop my current middle name, move my maiden name to my middle name, and take FI's last name.

    I like having the tie to my family of origin by keeping my maiden name as my middle name, and I like creating a new family with FI.

    Also, this was VERY important to FI. More important to him than to me, actually. He really wanted me to take his name, and even if I hadn't been willing to anyway, I would have reconsidered for his sake. We have a deal in our relationship that whoever cares MORE about an issue wins. I cared more about religion than he did, for example. If he had cared more than I did about this issue, and we had felt differently, he would have won.
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  • I'm dropping mine because I never liked it and it's never been something I questioned. In fact, my last name is a short version of the Greek name, and before I met FI I considered changing it back to the original!

    Besides, a Greek name on a Swiss passport would just look off! (Have I mentioned how excited I am to get dual citizenship?)
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


  • I'm taking his last name. I've never really considered moving my name to my middle name; that sounds strange to my ear.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I changed mine. No specific reason why; I just wanted to. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm changing mine very soon, as soon as we get the extra copies of our marriage cert.  In some ways, I'm very traditional.  I've always known that I was going to take the last name of whoever I married, unless it was HORRIBLE somehow.  I love DH's last name, and I'm very excited to take it and share the name of his family, who I love dearly.  My mom wanted me to move my maiden name to my middle name, and I was like, no.  It's odd to me as well.  But hey, whatever floats your boat!
  • I am changing my last name I want to and I prefer to be more tradition but I am adding my middle name to be part of my first name though. FSIL has the same name as me.

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  • TKzillaTKzilla member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
  • Linger, I totally agree. He's not pressuring me or anything. It's more of a desire he has expressed but he knows it's not his decision. I'd like to share in his last name because we want kids and I want to have that kind of a connection with them, as well. I'm just struggling with how to go about it in a way that a.) makes me feel good about my decision and b.) doesn't sound stupid as hell.
  • hordolhordol member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    I took his last name....but now I kind of wish I would have hyphenated. Oh well. :)
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  • Taking his. That's just want I want to do.  I think FI would have been upset if I decided not to, but it's a moot point, because I want to.

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    [Deleted User]kahaywa
  • I kept my name, I was willing to hyphenate to both our last names if H did to. His face when I suggested that was priceless. He didn't care if I kept my name or not, but he thought the suggestion that he change his name was hilarious.  


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  • I'm changing mine because I want to. His last name is easier to pronounce as well. Just waiting to get the copies of the marriage certificate first
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    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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  • I'm changing mine for a number of reasons, some of which are practical, but mostly I love my fiance's family. Since the day I met them, I wanted to be a part of his family. They are the most warm, welcoming bunch of people I know, and they've been there for me when my own family hasn't. So his last name it will be! Truthfully, it did kind of surprise our friends, especially those who felt it's not very progressive.
    AmieeB89
  • I legally have a hyphenated last name, but only use the one name (unless it's government stuff). I think another hyphen would be a little much which is why I will be changing my last name after we get married. I am simply going from one 4-letter last name that telemarketers cannot pronounce to another 4-letter last name that telemarketers cannot pronounce!
    [Deleted User]SomedayRC
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    I'm changing mine because FI wants me to. Bad. I'm not particularly excited about it (it's impossible to spell, pronounce and sounds funny) but it was super important to him. I told him that if I'm taking his name, he's gotta take mine - he's getting a tattoo of my name.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Dreamergirl8812
  • When I got married 30 years ago, my then husband insisted I change my name. So I did. My sisters got married around the  same time and did not change their names.

    When I got my divorce I changed my name back, my original name is hard to spell and hard to pronouce.  I like it just fine.

    Now that I'm married again, I kept my name. My husband didn't care. Many people address us as Mr and Mrs XXX and that does bother me at all. Maybe because I like being married to him. 

    It is truly a personal decision and I can see both sides.

    [Deleted User]SKPMiDesign103minniediver
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'm NEY, but I'm really firm about keeping my name. Fortunately BF knows that's my opinion and respects it.
    SKPMiDesign103laurap58vanessanunes
  • I'm changing mine because FI wants me to. Bad. I'm not particularly excited about it (it's impossible to spell, pronounce and sounds funny) but it was super important to him. I told him that if I'm taking his name, he's gotta take mine - he's getting a tattoo of my name.


    It would be one thing if you didn't care either way but he really wanted you to take his name.  But if you actually do not want to, you should tell him that.
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    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915SKPM
  • I took H's last name.  I like the sound of my maiden name better, but I liked the idea of having the same name as my H and future kids.  H said he didn't mind if I kept my maiden but would like for me to take his name.  I was leaning that way anyway, so that's what I did.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    BF is worried about our kids not having the same name. Honestly, I don't mind - I would never unleash a hyphenated last name on our kids (yes, let's hyphenate the unpronounceable Scandinavian name with the unpronounceable German name, see if I give a tin shilling). They can have his name, at least it's shorter. And I won't object if I'm called Mrs. HisLastName socially, but I plan to make sure at least our families know I'm keeping my name.
    [Deleted User]MissMollyBrak87
  • OP: I'm glad you asked, since I'm struggling with this, too! I'm leaning toward taking it, because people get my maiden name wrong all the freaking time. It's an uncommon name, but it's one letter off of a much more common name, so people just assume that my name is the more common name. I'm tired of it. Marriage will give me a chance to ditch it. Still, after 31 years of having it, I feel weird changing it, too...
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    SomedayRCAmieeB89
  • kjlambkjlamb member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am thinking about making my middle name as part of my first name since everyone calls me both names anyway, then making my middle name my madien name and taking my FI last name. with all those changes do I need to go to court and get it leagalized?


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  • H and I both took each other's last names. Technically without the hyphen, but half the people we interact with put the hyphen in. 
    southernbelle0915SKPMswtaznflor
  • SMarie89 said:

    Thanks for all of your input. This is kind of a tough decision for me - I have a very strong connection with my last name, however my FI really wants me to take his last name. I am thinking of keeping my name as is, but adding his as a hyphen at the end (and then going by his last name socially and professionally). 


    So, legally, I would be S. Marie Jameson-Caldwell (not our real last names). But then I would just go by S. Caldwell (or his last name). Any future babies would just be Caldwell. I just want to always be connected to my maiden name as an identifier and not just as a middle name. I don't know... is that weird? I'm really struggling with it. Plus, the inner "I am woman, hear me roar!" is just not down with giving up my last name completely. 


    ...I think I'm reading way too much into it. I love the differing opinions, though. Keep 'em coming!

    I totally agree with everything you wrote and had exactly the same thoughts about changing my name. You're not alone. Ultimately I decided to go with a hyphen, and DH promised that our kids would have both names too. That meant a lot to me. Lol, now DH will be the lone outlier in the family with just one last name.
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    SKPMtopchefnotramen
  • Considering the madness I deal with from my side of the family, even if FI had some crazy whacked out last name, I'd be taking it. 

    Not having to share a last name with the nut jobs I call parents is something I definitely look forward to. Even if it is a hassle. 
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  • I'm taking FI's last name. It was never a question in my mind. I keep the same initials and I will still be the only winelover123-FI's-last-name :-D




  • I ultimately decide to change my last name since I heard hyphenating the names could be a pain for paperwork purposes later on. I didn't have the heart to drop my middle name though so I'm adding my current last name to it and having two middle names :)
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  • efmcc67 said:
    OP: I'm glad you asked, since I'm struggling with this, too! I'm leaning toward taking it, because people get my maiden name wrong all the freaking time. It's an uncommon name, but it's one letter off of a much more common name, so people just assume that my name is the more common name. I'm tired of it. Marriage will give me a chance to ditch it. Still, after 31 years of having it, I feel weird changing it, too...
    I have the same problem, which is contributing to my very strong desire to change my last name. FI's last name is also frequently mispronounced and misspelled, but it's not as bad. Plus, his name is a little bit shorter (not by much). Hyphenating was never even a consideration because that would make my last name twenty-two characters long, counting the hyphen.

     

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