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telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

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Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    It's not a circular argument.  It really isn't.

    Lala asked why people responded the way they did.

    I'm responding to HER, not you.

    Here's the universe - />  O

    Please note it is NOT rotating around you.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • aral2003aral2003 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:43107bcc-3a31-4dd4-9dac-215fd145441e">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : He's MARRIED to her. MARRIED. MARRIED. Huh.
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

    and their marriage is crap... crap crap crap!!!  i dont understand how people can stay married after one party has an affair.  where is the trust?!?!?!
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:ca183a99-61ca-46e0-9c10-44767658573a">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : ok can the circular conversation stop... i told everyone what started this.  i didnt think what her sister said to my friend was appropriate and i told her this.  that is it!
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    I am fairly sure that your friend was fully capable of standing up for herself.  The only time I did crap like this was when I was 19, and up in the club, and b*tches would side-eye my girls and I'd be all 'WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT I WILL F*CK YOU UP!" because I was 19, and immature as all hell.

    As a grown up, the only way I'd fling myself into my friends' business is if it got physical.  Then sh*t would get real. BECAUSE I'M A LADY.
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:5281028d-2d07-47d1-bf5e-98f556b8dcf6">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : and their marriage is crap... crap crap crap!!!  i dont understand how people can stay married after one party has an affair.  where is the trust?!?!?!
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    That there is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.  NONE.

    It's his marriage. She is his wife.

    Take your judgy pants off before you start crying about being called the c-word.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:5281028d-2d07-47d1-bf5e-98f556b8dcf6">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : and their marriage is crap... crap crap crap!!!  i dont understand how people can stay married after one party has an affair.  where is the trust?!?!?!
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.  BECAUSE IT'S NOT YOUR MARRIAGE.  AND THEREFORE, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:5281028d-2d07-47d1-bf5e-98f556b8dcf6">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : and their marriage is crap... crap crap crap!!!  i dont understand how people can stay married after one party has an affair.  where is the trust?!?!?!
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
    I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:910c29e1-1388-4b47-aba2-cc3b67e1656b">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]


    Her English appears to be broken.

    Or something.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • aral2003aral2003 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:55864195-8885-4f84-a810-22188c6c5325">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : I am fairly sure that your friend was fully capable of standing up for herself.  The only time I did crap like this was when I was 19, and up in the club, and b*tches would side-eye my girls and I'd be all 'WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT I WILL F*CK YOU UP!" because I was 19, and immature as all hell. As a grown up, the only way I'd fling myself into my friends' business is if it got physical.  Then sh*t would get real. BECAUSE I'M A LADY.
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

    actually my friend felt very out of place bc the sister is 32 and my friend is 23 and it was the first time my friend was around a group of girls who were all strangers to her.  instead of making her feel welcome this one girl made her feel cheap and out of place. 
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:23293dd5-688f-4192-95cb-4623c4fb1d76">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : actually my friend felt very out of place bc the sister is 32 and my friend is 23 and it was the first time my friend was around a group of girls who were all strangers to her.  instead of making her feel welcome this one girl made her feel cheap and out of place. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    ::Sigh::

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:23293dd5-688f-4192-95cb-4623c4fb1d76">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : actually my friend felt very out of place bc the sister is 32 and my friend is 23 and it was the first time my friend was around a group of girls who were all strangers to her.  instead of making her feel welcome this one girl made her feel cheap and out of place. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
    your friend could've left. your friend could've stood up for herself. it's really not your place to say something.
    can you not admit that you contributed to this at all?
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  • aral2003aral2003 member
    100 Comments
    everyone keep saying that he has to side with his wife simply bc they are married.  but her immature actions have broken his friendship with my fiance.  she was 100% in the wrong. 
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  • aral2003aral2003 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:b56a3860-c9a0-48dc-b960-9fad0ee4c454">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : your friend could've left. your friend could've stood up for herself. it's really not your place to say something. can you not admit that you contributed to this at all?
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

    i contributed to the alteration with the sister, yes I admit that.  but it has NOTHING to do with this wife. 
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:23293dd5-688f-4192-95cb-4623c4fb1d76">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : actually my friend felt very out of place bc the sister is 32 and my friend is 23 and it was the first time my friend was around a group of girls who were all strangers to her.  instead of making her feel welcome this one girl made her feel cheap and out of place. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    Then she could a) ignore the heifer, b) knock the heifer on her ass, c) get up and GFTO of the bar, d) sh*t rainbows and puppies out of her ass and sing "Why Can't We Be Friends", but she did not need e), which was her friend rollin' up in there like she was not grown and could not handle her own sh*t.  So she felt out of place.  I'm sorry, but everybody feels out of place sometimes. 

    *points down to sig* Learn it.  Love it.
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:14738846-874d-4d10-a02d-2415a29651c5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]everyone keep saying that he has to side with his wife simply bc they are married.  but her immature actions have broken his friendship with my fiance.  she was 100% in the wrong. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
    and? what part of that can YOU control? focus on you. you can't single-handedly fix someone else's marriage.
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  • aral2003aral2003 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:b7d97cf7-a387-4f3a-8a6c-cf73614408a7">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : i contributed to the alteration with the sister, yes I admit that.  but it has NOTHING to do with this wife. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    *altercation
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    She's 23. If she feels like someone is treating her poorly, she can fight her own battles. You charging in on your white steed to save her probably isn't going to help her street cred in terms of getting new girlfriends to like her. And also, she should maybe watch Mean Girls. It might be educational.

    That has nothing to do with any of the wedding stuff, that's just life advice.
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:b7d97cf7-a387-4f3a-8a6c-cf73614408a7">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : i contributed to the alteration with the sister, yes I admit that.  but it has NOTHING to do with this wife. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    WHOA WHOA WHOA.  So YOU can get all uppity and in the biz concerning your friend, but SHE can't get all uppity and in the biz concerning her sister?  WTF is THAT?
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:b7d97cf7-a387-4f3a-8a6c-cf73614408a7">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : i contributed to the alteration with the sister, yes I admit that.  but it has NOTHING to do with this wife. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
    I thought the sister was the wife.
    I need a flow chart.
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:14738846-874d-4d10-a02d-2415a29651c5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]everyone keep saying that he has to side with his wife simply bc they are married.  but her immature actions have broken his friendship with my fiance.  she was 100% in the wrong. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    At what point was she 100% wrong?  The single point you're looking at?    At what point do you STOP including your behaviour in the equation?

    Divorce is a BFD to a lot of people.  I think you take marriage and commitment FAR too lightly. 

    Yeratwatwaffle.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:14738846-874d-4d10-a02d-2415a29651c5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]everyone keep saying that he has to side with his wife simply bc they are married.  but her immature actions have broken his friendship with my fiance.  she was 100% in the wrong. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    No, your FI calling to uninvite his wife has broken the friendship.  Jesus Christ, you blame this woman for everything.  You probably think she's behind 9/11, don't you.  ZOMG HER FRIEND IS MARRIED TO BIN LADEN, 'YALL.
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:3055ff05-d5d0-480d-88a1-62feab0e9c7e">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : I thought the sister was the wife. <strong>I need a flow chart.
    </strong>Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

    *Hollars* FISCHYYYYYYYYY.  We need your skillz.
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    Lala, how bout a word problem?

    If:
    Wife <3 Sister
    And:
    Sister </3 OP's friend
    But:
    OP <3 OP's friend

    Then...
    OP #&"#( Sister and Wife c&nt OP.

    It's simple math.
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  • loop0406loop0406 member
    1000 Comments
    NuggetBrain: This """"I am fairly sure that your friend was fully capable of standing up for herself.  The only time I did crap like this was when I was 19, and up in the club, and b*tches would side-eye my girls and I'd be all 'WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT I WILL F*CK YOU UP!" because I was 19, and immature as all hell.""""

    was funny as hell and it sounded like me at 19 too..
    Very well said.

    aral2003, I understand that you don't want someone saying those things at your wedding and I think we all agree you're short a groomsman and his wifey is not going and you should be happy because you won't have that stress or drama. And while we all agree it was not your business to be in their business of who had an affair or not, learn the lesson in that, getting involved in someone's life will not bring anything good your way. And you ask about trust/cheating in post above, every relationship is different. Just hope and pray you are never in the situation and never say never....
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:14738846-874d-4d10-a02d-2415a29651c5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]everyone keep saying that he has to side with his wife simply bc they are married.  but her immature actions have broken his friendship with my fiance.  she was 100% in the wrong. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    AND you're damned right in public my husband had BETTER be supporting me.  He can disagree with me privately, but if he doesn't back me up to his friends, it's on like donkey kong.

    We're married.  We won't always agree, but that shiit needs to be kept private and NOT dragged out in front of our friends and/or family.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:54e9d1d7-54c6-45a9-813f-cce59ac4f1c1">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : No, your FI calling to uninvite his wife has broken the friendship.  Jesus Christ, you blame this woman for everything.  You probably think she's behind 9/11, don't you.  ZOMG HER FRIEND IS MARRIED TO BIN LADEN, 'YALL.
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]


    LOVE.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:f58bd8d2-73f5-4459-a3bf-9ffe2efe7067">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lala, how bout a word problem? If: Wife <3 Sister And: Sister </3 OP's friend But: OP <3 OP's friend Then... OP #&"#( Sister and Wife c&nt OP. It's simple math.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
    ...but WHY is the RUM gone?
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:139de793-07b4-4adc-8ff2-84fba6170f07">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : ...but WHY is the RUM gone?
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]


    I blame OOT.  Or Lynda.  Or maybe even Nebb.

    It wasn't me. 

    ::kicks bottle under desk::

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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  • laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    moose doesn't know how to ackrite.
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    I believe there was drinking in an earlier thread...that might explain the lack of rum.
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  • wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:6221c7e0-acf3-45e6-bae5-0082adb6f030">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]moose doesn't know how to ackrite.
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]


    I been here 2+ years and yer just figurin' that out now?

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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