We got engaged on Thanksgiving of 2009 but we aren't getting married until October 2012 because we are paying for the wedding ourselves and need to save up some money. I feel like I have no right to start planning or to be excited because it's so far away and to do anything now would be pointless. We are 90% sure about a venue but I'm not sure if it's too early to be thinking about a photographer and favors. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a somewhat long engagment and how I can start to feel excited about it?
Re: Long Engagement
Honestly, we picked a venue, guest list, budget and paid a deposit for the venue by August 2009. Now are just sitting back and enjoying being engaged. Big details are in place so there's no stress. We're saving money. And, we can take our time to gather ideas and decide what we like. I've enjoyed being able to really look into weddings and decide for myself (over time) what I feel is important on my wedding and what, most definitely, is NOT.
There's no reason to sit around twiddling your thumbs if you don't want to. But, I'd advise against putting money down on things (aside from a venue if you are really sure about it) this far out. Also, pace yourself. You don't want to get burnt out on weddings a year before your own!
Yup, we're having a 22 month engagement (only a few more months left, thank goodness!). We took care of the venue within the first six months, and then didn't really do anything until about a year out, when we did the photog and DJ.
I would really just sit back and enjoy the stress-free time you have right now. Enjoy being able to squeal that you're engaged, and start collecting pics of stuff you like. I was digging through my pics a couple months ago and found the exact one of the invites I picked out at Michaels- but I had pulled it from a mag over a year ago, lol. And forgot about it.
The only thing I suggest not doing is making solid decisions now, eg- BM dresses, invites, etc. Trends change over the course of a year or two, and so will your tastes and ideas about how you want the wedding to be.
My advice:
1) Slow down and just enjoy being engaged for a while.
2) Don't start planning yet. Browsing for ideas is fine, but make any commitments. Starting to plan this early leaves so much time to change your mind, and might be a lot of wasted effort. Give it a year, at least.
3) Be prepared if family and friends don't take you too seriously. Don't take it personally.
Congrats!
Sorry about my rambling, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm right there with you. But I don't believe that it is too early to start your research. It's one thing to get your numbers and think that in two years from now, inflation won't have occured. It's another to choose a florist, choose your photographer, choose your venue, choose your colors, your flowers, get your guest list together, etc. You can work out the basics of what you want, then when it gets closer to your date, start working in on filling in the details.
Since you are planning things so far in advance, I would keep a three ring binder with all of your notes, magazine clippings, articles, etc. Have them divided into sections like "Florists", "Photographers", "Venues", etc.
Hope this helps!
Be Mine Blog
We got engaged in December 09, but are waiting until Sept 2012 to get married. My parents are paying for a bulk of the wedding so I wanted to make sure they didn't feel pressured to pay for a big wedding quickly. I think you should at least book your venue at the moment. A few places we called already had 2012 weddings booked. We will be booking our venue this year to make sure we get exactly what we want. I also already got my dress (not physically but it's paid for), but I'm not a mind changer, so it was an easy decision. My mom is going to be making the layouts for my invites this spring when she's laid up from surgery because we can get them cheap now and she will have ample time. Just do what you feel like you can make a decision on without pressure. I feel like nothing can be overlooked when you have a long engagement, so take the time while you have it!