Question About A Vegetarian Reception

tannymcgee · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:3e184684-29c4-4bd7-97cf-be92cca9deda">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception : This comparison drives me batty. The issue isn't forcing people to eat a certain thing (like not having a veggie option would be), <strong>it's asking people to do without one of many foods for the evening.</strong> If she only provided one tofu dish, that would be unreasonable. Any host should provide a variety of options, meat-free or otherwise.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

yeah you're right.

polichik · March 2010

Sorry, guys, I'm getting all fired up now

I understand somebody's desire to go out to eat beforehand, but I think it's sort of strange. If you found out she wasn't providing a meal, that would make sense. But I'm assuming that, calorie for calorie, you'd be eating the same amount of food at a veggie reception as you would at a meat reception.

I'm doing a quick calorie calculation online.

Veggie Meal: Blue cheese fritters (350 calories) + Stuffed veggie peppers (675 calories) = 1025 calories. Even without the empanadas, we're talking more calories than an average meal, if you assume that a woman needs 2200 calories per day, or a little over 700 calories per meal.

We're not talking celery and water here, people.

squirrly · March 2010

One last thought and then I'll be quiet (unless somebody asks me something) - if you were having an all veg menu that consisted solely of broccoli and cabbage, I'd still attend. I wouldn't eat any of your food, though. I'd find my way to McD's before the reception, if I knew, and scarf down a burger so as not to starve, and then I'd eat a lot of cake. And hit up more fast food later. But I'd be annoyed with you. So - my suggestion is skip the "why" sign, absolutely include the "menu" sign(s), and try to be conscious of the fact that your guests may have dietary conditions you don't know about and that they would prefer to not trouble you with (I hate asking for something special - who wants to be a whiner!). Make it easy for them, and it will be lots easier for you.

Oh - and, I love food, including all the stuff that makes me sick. By choice, I eat darn near anything.

psichick · March 2010

i would definitely let people know ahead of time. i am not a vegetarian, but i do love veggies. i would be perfectly fine at a vegetarian wedding. however, my FI pretty much hates all veggies. i have to basically trick him into eating them at home lol. so for him, he would be miserable at a wedding like that, and would want to know so that he would eat before we got there so he wouldn't be hungry. i also know quite a few of our friends that are similar to him.

tannymcgee - i agree with you completely.

shellydiane820 · March 2010

I like mushroom meat. If I was a guest, I'd suck that stuff down faster than a $2 hooker.

polichik · March 2010

Shelly, did you see Daybreakers? Best quote ever, from Willem Dafoe:

"That's safe. It's about as safe as going bareback with a five dollar whore."

Night_Sprite · March 2010

My mom wouldn't eat at your wedding. She hates blue cheese and can't eat peppers. I also can't eat peppers. I suggest thinking of a more traditional salad option with toppings that can be added/not added at people's discretion. Honestly, I think this sucks a lot.

shellydiane820 · March 2010

I have never seen that movie. Nick has talked about it before, he has seen it.

caketime · March 2010

It's not a calorie for calorie issue. It's the fact that her options are not anything that either my DH or I would eat. I don't begrudge her having all vegetarian but let everyone know beforehand so we can choose to not be starving and cranky because all we have to eat is bread.

Blue cheese - I find vile

Peppers - make many people I know horribly sick as does rice.

polichik · March 2010

Ok. Let's try this again.

If somebody said "We're serving a chicken dish, fish, and a beef dish, is that ok?", nobody jumps on them and says "Welll, what exactly are you serving? Because I don't like red sauce and my FI won't eat mushrooms!!" We say, "That sounds great! Everyone will be happy!" But as soon as somebody isn't serving meat, the other ingredients go under a microscope. If that's the policy, we should apply it evenly to everybody, not just those who aren't serving your favorite meat.

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

I think the options are alright. It is mexican food right or did I make that up?
I want some mexican now

jeanna85 · March 2010

i'm not a vegetarian, but if i went to a wedding reception, dinner party, bday party, etc for a vegetarian couple i would never assume they would have to serve meat. theres plenty of nonmeat alternatives that would make everyone happy. i wouldnt want someone to compromise on their beliefs for me- for one meal i can deal with no meat, no special note on the invitation necessary. however- i would watch how many unusual dishes there are. i love tofu, tempeh, etc. but my family wouldnt eat any of it. lasagna, baked ziti, alfredo, pasta primavera, any type of typical vegetarian friendly food would be good to have as an option- maybe a pasta station. it would appeal to everyone where as some more unusual vegan/veggie fare may turn people off especially picky eaters

shellydiane820 · March 2010

The only reason I would vote against mexican is because I know a lot of old people don't ilike it (at least my grandma and her siblings, that's what I'm going by)

What about a pasta dish, or stir fry?

sarabellam · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:a808495d-6829-4860-a770-548e7a016b29">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]"Your wedding is not the time to impose your beliefs on everyone else." That's the point, though. That it's our wedding. Posted by anne.beerhorst[/QUOTE]

So, by your logic, because it was "our wedding," and everyone in my immediate family is a confirmed carnivore, I should have just said a great big "fuckyou" to our vegetarian guests and ONLY served meat. Because after all, it was OUR wedding.

Brie2010 · March 2010

Poli is right, it's not about "I won't/can't eat that" because you have the same issues with carnivore meals. I'm allergic to shellfish and have to avoid it at carnivorous meals. That's not the issue.

I'm okay with reasonable veggie meals. This one sounds pretty delicious and well-balanced. I'm not, however, okay with AW-ing your decision not to eat meat on a sign so all your meat-eating guests feel like crap about not being a vegetarian. They will obviously get the point that the meal is veggie when they see the food or read a menu on the website or table.

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

Ok, are there not a lot of non meat options that would please even meat eaters? Cheese lasagna, bean and rice burritos, mashed potatoes, a good soup, salad, mac n' cheese, etc, etc...
I realize not all of these are full meals but can't some combining be done? I am definitely a meat eater but I can do non meat. Even T who hates the vegetables would be happy with some Fettuccini Alfredo. Its serving strictly tofu and straight vegetables that would get me.

caketime · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:1896a521-000a-403c-afe0-05964ac605d9">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Let's try this again. If somebody said "We're serving a chicken dish, fish, and a beef dish, is that ok?", nobody jumps on them and says "Welll, what exactly are you serving? Because I don't like red sauce and my FI won't eat mushrooms!!" We say, "That sounds great! Everyone will be happy!" But as soon as somebody isn't serving meat, the other ingredients go under a microscope. If that's the policy, we should apply it evenly to everybody, not just those who aren't serving your favorite meat.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree, it should be applied evenly to everyone. I've gone home from some of those "type" of weddings where I went straight to Burger King and man was I one cranky mother f'er. Had I known they were going to smother the beef with blue cheese, put the chicken in this horrific sauce that nobody bothered to order, and the fish smelled so horrible even the staff said don't order, I would have much preferred to know about it beforehand to at least it a granola bar instead of only bread.</div>

aMrsin09 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:1896a521-000a-403c-afe0-05964ac605d9">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Let's try this again. If somebody said "We're serving a chicken dish, fish, and a beef dish, is that ok?", nobody jumps on them and says "Welll, what exactly are you serving? Because I don't like red sauce and my FI won't eat mushrooms!!" We say, "That sounds great! Everyone will be happy!" But as soon as somebody isn't serving meat, the other ingredients go under a microscope. If that's the policy, we should apply it evenly to everybody, not just those who aren't serving your favorite meat.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

With C/F/B you can see what your eating. I absolutely can not/will not eat a vegetarian dish that I have not prepared or don't know the recipe of. Eggplant and chickpeas and lentils are often "hidden" in veggie dishes.

Night_Sprite · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:8e9db46c-291d-4ee1-877c-790db129fdfe">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, are there not a lot of non meat options that would please even meat eaters? Cheese lasagna, bean and rice burritos, mashed potatoes, a good soup, salad, mac n' cheese, etc, etc... I realize not all of these are full meals but can't some combining be done? I am definitely a meat eater but I can do non meat. Even T who hates the vegetables would be happy with some Fettuccini Alfredo. Its serving strictly tofu and straight vegetables that would get me.
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
These options are more friendly. Good job, Roxy.

lyndausvi · March 2010

Is she having mexican? I though she said it was Spanish?

I do not do mexican well... Outside of a chicken taco (let, tom, sour cream, cheese, guacamole) I pretty much would not eat anything. I'm not pepper fan and I HATE beans. DH gets annoyed but I hate beans so much I even freak out if they are on my plate. It's my only real food quirkness.

shellydiane820 · March 2010

oh, i just saw that post roxy made, maybe I got it wrong.

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:2218c785-3f8c-4921-b6a4-22524f778ea0">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]oh, i just saw that post roxy made, maybe I got it wrong.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]
Sorry, I may be making up stuff. I'm just craving some potato tacos right now and have mexican on the brain.

tenofcups4me · March 2010

Late responding, but I wouldn't put any kind of sign up or mention it on your web site. That makes it appear like you're apologizing for it or think it's some sort of weird thing you need to explain, which you don't.

I'm not sure I'd like the exact things you're serving, but I'm never sure I'll like what people are serving at a wedding. I don't especially care for rubber banquet hall chicken either, but I've run into it on occasion. Whatever. I'll eat what I like and work around what I don't. It's one meal, no big deal.

polichik · March 2010

She's making Spanish food, not Mexican. Food from Spain doesn't involve beans, sour cream, etc. and isn't often spicy.

You guys should do a vegetarian paella! Mmmmmm...

Night_Sprite · March 2010

It's the peppers and the blue cheese that wouldn't go well in my family. Especially the peppers.

tlv204 · March 2010

Maybe I'm alone on this, but honestly if I was having enough fun at your wedding in general I probably wouldn't even notice the lack of meat if you served the right things. If I go up to a buffet and load up on pasta, potatoes, and salad that look delicious, I wouldn't think twice. Honestly H hates vegetables of almost all kinds, but again, serve him enough pasta and potatoes and he'll be pretty forgiving.

For me the issue isn't even food preferences, it's just making sure there are some generic options that MOST people would like even if they're not fancy and cool sounding and chock full of taste specific ingredients (again my examples are pasta and potatoes, I think most carbs are safe, and I think these are options that many people would choose even if meat were an option).

ETA: Ditto on the no tofu.

anne.beerhorst · March 2010

Our reception venue is a Spanish/Cuban tapas restaurant. It's definitely not traditional, so I'm aware my (very Dutch) grandparents will have to get out of their comfort zone a little bit. But it's one meal, and when we go to choose the other dishes we are planning on picking several very un-intimidating options. Seriously, though, the empanadas are basically lightly fried tortillas filled with mashed potatoes. Not that crazy.

As for these people who won't eat any kind of vegetable (not talking about allergies)-are they three years old? or 400 pounds from a bread, dairy and meat diet?

"So, by your logic, because it was "our wedding," and everyone in my immediate family is a confirmed carnivore, I should have just said a great big "fuckyou" to our vegetarian guests and ONLY served meat. Because after all, it was OUR wedding. by sarabellam"

People don't eat meat for moral reasons, they choose not to eat meat for moral reasons. That's where that argument fails. But yeah, if you feel morally uncomfortable with the production, harvest and consumption of vegetables, you should be honest about it and your wedding should be a reflection of that. But there is difficulty in building an argument that says there is harm in eating vegetables.

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:9cce7dd7-44bf-41b4-b2be-7383f5ffcaf3">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Our reception venue is a Spanish/Cuban tapas restaurant. It's definitely not traditional, so I'm aware my (very Dutch) grandparents will have to get out of their comfort zone a little bit. But it's one meal, and when we go to choose the other dishes we are planning on picking several very un-intimidating options. Seriously, though, the empanadas are basically lightly fried tortillas filled with mashed potatoes. Not that crazy. As for these people who won't eat any kind of vegetable (not talking about allergies)-are they three years old? or 400 pounds from a bread, dairy and meat diet? "So, by your logic, because it was "our wedding," and everyone in my immediate family is a confirmed carnivore, I should have just said a great big "fuckyou" to our vegetarian guests and ONLY served meat. Because after all, it was OUR wedding. by sarabellam" People don't eat meat for moral reasons, they choose not to eat meat for moral reasons. That's where that argument fails. But yeah, if you feel morally uncomfortable with the production, harvest and consumption of vegetables, you should be honest about it and your wedding should be a reflection of that. But there is difficulty in building an argument that says there is harm in eating vegetables.
Posted by anne.beerhorst[/QUOTE]
I knew I was off on the mexican thing. I'm not super familiar with spanish food but I suppose I could find something that would work.

As you can see from my sig. pic T is neither 3 years old or 400 lbs. Eating meat and not vegetable does not mean you are fat, thats quite an assumption. I think it's ridiculous that T doesn't eat vegetables but hey, theres some things I don't eat either.

sarabellam · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-vegetarian-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80e4e969-fa8b-4e33-956d-36ea0088f27fPost:9cce7dd7-44bf-41b4-b2be-7383f5ffcaf3">Re: Question About A Vegetarian Reception</a>:
[QUOTE] People don't eat meat for moral reasons, they choose not to eat meat for moral reasons. That's where that argument fails.Posted by anne.beerhorst[/QUOTE]

Nope, not everyone rejects meat for moral reasons, and this is where your superiority complex fails. My older child doesn't like many meats for textural reasons. Her favorite? Very young lamb or veal. But only if the lamb is served med. rare or colder. Moral reasons? I think not.

If you want to get truly "moral" about your diet, some people adhear to a diet of only vegetable products that don't kill the host plant in the harvest. So they will eat perennial vegetables, but not lettuce or potatoes or many herbs, because they will be killed in the harvesting process. Degrees of morality. Personally, I like to eat my beef really rare. If cooked properly, you can still taste the fear. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

polichik · March 2010

High five, sara!

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