Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??

squirrly · April 2011

Oooh, Mica, that's good. They must have changed how it works since the initial incident, because it was gone-zo. They just ended up creating a new board with the same name. No posts were recovered, I believe.

wadingmoose · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:7cdd86fe-77b3-46be-8ffd-fd8c11dcd012">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooh, Mica, that's good. They must have changed how it works since the initial incident, because it was gone-zo. They just ended up creating a new board with the same name. No posts were recovered, I believe.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

So, does this solve the mystery of Fishy's missing posts? Because maybe those posts were all on that deleted board.

Dun dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

jcamm11 · April 2011

Since you are planning this vow renewal for 5 years into the future, I'm guessing you still don't have the money for it, and it will be a very long time before you do. You should just get the entire idea out of your head, as it will only make you miserable. Indulge in hosting smaller affairs, like birthday parties for your kids and husband or summer BBQ's.

I know it seems like everyone else has it all, but that's not true. We're having a "real" wedding, but skipped an e-ring and HM. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be greatful for what you have, stop dwelling on what you don't.

TNMurray · April 2011

its 2011 do what you want. Every girl deserves their big day whenever they can afford it. Get ur dress cocktail or poofy, which ever u wish. )Those who are offended need not come, just know their will be some but the day is for u and ur husband.

laladypoet · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:6ab16e3b-4769-4f58-8a37-1c9d8268862b">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday?? : Yes it is exhausting and its rude of us to hijack this person thread. I have taken responsibility for what I said. Thats what all this back and forth is about. As you already said you are keeping my "name calling" quote forever so why dont you actually read it? I did not say that you all are a bunch of b!tches as you claim. What I wrote was: " Wow. I cant believe all the b!thces on this board. Based on some of the responses in this thread as well as the one I started earlier its evident that there are some on this site though." How does some equate to everybody exactly?
Posted by lilmisstex[/QUOTE]

I haven't asked anyone this in a long time, but: do you find that, after a conversation with you, people often punch babies?

mica178 · April 2011

Lala makes me laugh.

strlzfan11 · April 2011

OP, I know you're gone already, but I honestly think your desire for the big PPD wedding is your age talking. A woman's idea of what kind of wedding she wants at age 22 can drastically change by the time she hits 30. I know mine certainly did.

Ghoti · April 2011

Lala made me laugh a LOT in this thread...

thesequel · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:3d55f829-950d-4bf7-9896-97fc4b3102f1">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday?? : Ooops, I think we found our "mystery" pmer.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually no...but thanks for the assumption. </div>

thesequel · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:ec371439-3b92-44ce-8af5-f4e563d72a31">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday?? : I haven't asked anyone this in a long time, but: do you find that, after a conversation with you, people often punch babies?
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

<div>Where is the picture from? Thanks!</div>

laladypoet · April 2011

I made the picture. well, I actually found the steve buscemi picture (from boardwalk empire) and added the words. I'm an art-eest.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:f830a377-8bc4-4d5a-bad8-8f438291ba64">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]its 2011 do what you want. Every girl deserves their big day whenever they can afford it. Get ur dress cocktail or poofy, which ever u wish. )Those who are offended need not come, just know their will be some but the day is for u and ur husband.
Posted by TNMurray[/QUOTE]
Um, what now?

thesequel · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:3bb21995-e2a7-4b42-9c1c-a64dbafefd58">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]I made the picture. well, I actually found the steve buscemi picture (from boardwalk empire) and added the words. I'm an art-eest.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

<div>It's awesome - I wasn't sure if it was a quote or not! Very creative!</div>

wyney · April 2011

I'm being a hypocrite right now because I don't think others can really judge a couples' relationships and what's important to them, but.....

It doesn't sound like your vow renewal would be sincere. If you're planning it for that far down the road, and you haven't had a a significant trial to your marriage, or otherwise have doubted your commitment and need to reaffirm them, there does not seem to be any reason for it other than the PPD people have posted about....your vow renewal ceremony will draw the side eyes. I'm all for side eyes and pushing buttons and challenging the WIC and institution of marriage, when etiquette and tradition is pushed aside to make room for a more meaningful and sincere ceremony.

An anniversary party would likely be a better solution. I would not do a wedding re-do, but as an anniversary party, it would be completely appropriate for your enduring relationship to be a party theme, and you and your spouse would still be the guests of honor.

Certain gestures, such as walking down the aisle, and first kiss....would seem out of place and very 're-do' like.

As for a big white dress....it screams pretty princess day to me. But that has nothing to do with your previous wedding. I really don't see how a marriage license or ceremony makes a big poofy white dress any less costumey or PPD-like. Obviously, on this site, I'm in the minority.

If you want a party, you can have a birthday party. Or a party for another accomplishment. It's sort of a shame that friends blow off birthday parties or graduation parties, making weddings sort of the 'one big chance' to have all your friends and family together at once. But the truth is, you can never guarantee full attendance.

ootmother2 · April 2011

I'm late, as usual

My opinion is that the mods here need the knot to supply them with several cans of aerosol valium

mica178 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:dfb2f6c6-c521-425b-a90b-0152998bbd8e">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm late, as usual My opinion is that the mods here need the knot to supply them with several cans of aerosol valium
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

Yes, please. I'd write my own, but the DEA does not look favorably on self-prescribing anxiolytics.

ootmother2 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:6389bd52-a434-4814-9349-ddc8f814b894">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday?? : Yes, please. I'd write my own, but the DEA does not look favorably on self-prescribing anxiolytics.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

haha, I was making something up. does valium really come in aerosol form?

mica178 · April 2011

Probably not. I'll bet that I could crush it and put it (with cream) in one of those things that makes whipped cream. Voila, Valium whipped cream!

thesequel · April 2011

It can be made...you just have to have specialized equipment. Sorry....my geeky chemist side is coming out!

ootmother2 · April 2011

whipped cream sounds awesome!

overloaded · May 2011

Its your day and do whatever makes you and your husband happy. I have been married for 9 years and next year, (our 10th wedding aniv.) we are going to have that BIG wedding. In the middle of our planning I got pregent and was put on bedrest. We wanted to be married before the baby was born so we went to the courthouse. We always said we would have our BIG wedding on our 10th wedding aniv. DO WHAT MAKES YOU TWO HAPPY. IN THE END THATS THE OLNY THING THAT MATTERS. My wedding consists of 2 maid of honors, 4 bridesmaids, 2 jr bridesmaids, and 1 flowergirl. I wish you the best of luck and enjoy planning the wedding of your dreams.

kpabda23 · May 2011

I would personally not do this, but I know of at least 3 people who have done this. My sister and her husband eloped on the beach, then had a smallish 'vow renewal' ceremony that was basically a wedding with the big white dress cake an all on their one year anniversary. The first wedding had been impromptu and rushed for medical reasons (Sis was going into the hospital for two months right after). Another friend did JOP wedding at 5 mo pregnant and is doing a "wedding" this year for all the family and friends (She admitted that she wanted to do a big wedding b/c she felt like they were 'cheated' out of wedding gifts!), and I have a cousin who just got married (So that our grandmother, who is not doing well, would be able to be at her wedding) and they have an un-official ceremony with the big reception planned for October.
I can see instances where a vow renewal would be appropriate for a big anniversary as well. FI's parents are doing a renewal and second honeymoon this year for their 25th wedding anniversary.

Irishcurls · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-marriedcan-large-wedding-someday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:537ed51e-d5f6-406c-baf5-c361c37f1ac7Post:3ff9a153-529a-47c8-b78a-c4ab8832b202">Re: Already Married...Can we have a large wedding someday??</a>:
[QUOTE]I would personally not do this, but I know of at least 3 people who have done this. My sister and her husband eloped on the beach, then had a smallish 'vow renewal' ceremony that was basically a wedding with the big white dress cake an all on their one year anniversary. The first wedding had been impromptu and rushed for medical reasons (Sis was going into the hospital for two months right after). Another friend did JOP wedding at 5 mo pregnant and is doing a "wedding" this year for all the family and friends (She admitted that she wanted to do a big wedding b/c she felt like they were 'cheated' out of wedding gifts!), and I have a cousin who just got married (So that our grandmother, who is not doing well, would be able to be at her wedding) and they have an un-official ceremony with the big reception planned for October. I can see instances where a vow renewal would be appropriate for a big anniversary as well. <strong>FI's parents are doing a renewal and second honeymoon this year for their 25th wedding anniversary.</strong>
Posted by kpabda23[/QUOTE]
Which seems lovely and appropriate. I hope we get to do one some day! Other than that, I'm not a fan...

LaceyH13 · May 2011

Who cares what everyone else thinks - as long as your family and friends know and love you, you will be fine. Wear the white puffy dress and everything if it will make you happy! Have the big 4 tiered cake, and to heck with what everyone else on here thinks.

Do you. And don't worry about anybody else here who doesn't know you personally and never will.

cowboylady09 · May 2011

Do what you want to do. My FI and I are having to a small ceremony i.e. my mom, my grandma and grandpa, his mom and dad because it will save us $35,000 in student loans. We found this out after we have already put deposits down on our chapel and photographer and what not. So when we found this out, we decided that we would have a SMALL ceremony, we wouldn't live together after our ceremony we wouldn't do anything of that sort to jepordize our day that we already had planned. I understand it's a different situation, but do what YOU want to do. Our familes hate the fact that we're having to do it this way, but his family can't contribute to his education and make too much money for him to recieve scholarships and I'm paying for the wedding on my own so it's not financially possible to fulfill my financial obligations to my vendors on such short notice. So I get it. If YOU and your H want to do it then, go for it. It's what YOU want. I never dreamed that I would have had to have my wedding like this, but life happens and I believe that you can still have that day no matter what other people on here say. If it's worth it to you, then it's worth doing.

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