wow there are some crazy ladies on here! Maybe I'm jaded because I'm from Nevada...so the whole stripper thing is really not a big deal. They don't want to have sex with your future husband they want his money! Your future husbands know what to do and what not to do and if they don't you probably shouldn't be marrying them. Reasons not to care if they go to a strip club 1. you can't get an std from a lapdance as someone here thought you could. why they thought you could, I have no idea 2. Your boobs are probably real and theirs aren't 3. Hopefully your FH is not a moron and knows that sleeping with a stripper is a bad idea. 4. They get to play with your boobs whenever and fake ones look great aren't fun to play with, so I've been told. 5. You being a control freak and telling him what he can and can't do on that night, is not only rude, dishonest, unfair, untrusting, and disprespectful but is going to make him want to do the things you don't want him to do in the first place.
In the end you need to trust your man to make the right decisions he loves you he is going to make the right choice his friends have nothing to do with it, he's not going to bend to their will (they don't have the force). Don't ask him what he did, don't have a giant "talk" tell your man that you want him to have a blast do what he wants and not feel guilty about looking at someone's boob for 2 seconds at one time because you freaked him out.. let him be the man you are going to marry and let him not have any doubts that he made the right choice in marrying you, because you trust and respect him to make the right decisions.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:bc90531d-9d8d-4a06-9e99-97d7adf43626">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]2. Your boobs are probably real and theirs aren't 3. Hopefully your FH is not a moron and knows that sleeping with a stripper is a bad idea. 4. They get to play with your boobs whenever and fake ones look great aren't fun to play with, so I've been told. 5. You being a control freak and telling him what he can and can't do on that night, is not only rude, dishonest, unfair, untrusting, and disprespectful but is going to make him want to do the things you don't want him to do in the first place. [/QUOTE]
sorry! lol! Its cool my boobs are a natural 36DDD so my man likes the big boobs too I just happen to have a natural set. I don't think the boob thing is what everyone is really up in arms about anyway.
We're planning on having ours the same day. My girls are wild and crazy and I LOVE 'em for it so I was up for anything. HE on the other hand decided he didn't want stripclubs in the picture. I would have been fine with it, but he insisted. A little backwards isn't it? hehe. Anyway. Our best friends (MOH and BM) are planning them to be a total suprise so we can honestly say we had nothing to do with it. We trust eachother completely though. If anything our besties will be the ones getting wild and crazy that night!
Is it just me or is this question posted in another thread on these boards every few days. And they all always say the same things. Some don't care, some think clubs are ridiculous, and all of them have some sort of cat fight going on in them. This has been happening for decades at least and probably longer. You people have been watching too much of "The Hangover". If you don't trust your FI to do the right thing on one night out of his life then there is no way your marriage is going to last a lifetime.
My fiance and I have BOTH agreed no strippers for EITHER of us. We both consider it to be adultery and his exact words to me were that he knows it's his last night out as a "single" guy but to have another woman all over him just makes him so uneasy and it would almost be a betrayal to me. And I said the same to him. I would feel so terrible if another guy was trying to "grind" all over me. His party is the same night as mine...he's going out with the guys to a casino and a comedy show and I'm going out with my girls to the beach and hang out on the strip. Both of us are okay with the plans for the night and thats that! lol
cjl5072- What an awesome Idea! I might have to steal it and bring that up! What an amazing weekend that is going to be.
Strip clubs aren't the end of the world. I do understand where some girls are coming from when they say they are uncomfortable and feel like it is borderline cheating. I do not mind if my fiance goes to a strip club with his buddies for their bachelor parties but I do feel that it is NOT something I want him to do right before OUR wedding. To me it doesn't make much sense why you would celebrate with your buddies the night before your wedding at a bachelor party but traditions are traditions for some people I guess.
My best friend is a former stripper from Mons Venus in Tampa. I have heard PLENTY of ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING stories of what men do or should I say have done on the night before their wedding. Hence the champagne or VIP room. I hate to be the voice of reason but IMO if your FI is going to cheat ... he will cheat.
Oh my gosh! this is a big one for me , 'cuz my fiancee has been to strip clubs in the past & apparently lost interest, but on the other hand, my girlfriends are looking forward to going crazy, & probably getting a stripper, I really don't know. My fiancee hasn't told me anything except that he's a bit worried that my friends go extreme.
I guess this is a must-have, better sooner than later conversation. I'll come back to you when we do reach an agreement.
We are quicky approaching our parties, as the wedding is a little over 2 months away. YIKES! My opinion on bachelor and bachelorette parties is, if you don't trust each other for one night, what is your marriage going to be like? I would be ignorant to think that my FI's friends aren't taking him to a strip club. He's knows that I am not the biggest fan, and our one rule is no touching. It's good to have open conversations about both parties and what the expectations are...but remember one thing, he chose you.
Best of luck to you gals, and go have fun on your bachelorette parties! I know I am.
We are both going away for the weekend with our friends. TWICE! He is going to Vegas and I am going on a wine tour! Then, I will be hitting the big city another weekend and he will be going on a fishing trip. We plan to go at separate times, this way our dogs will not be left alone! We haven't discussed limits, but I really don't think we need to. We have been together for almost 10 years now... I think we know each other quite well. Just remember to talk about things that may make you uncomfortable. Your relationship should be open with communication. It is the KEY for a successful relationship.
to be honest I am not worried about it. I am going to go out with my friends and he will go out with his. I hope he has a great time and trust him to the fullest. I'm really not worried. I know that they will have a good boys night out but I also know he loves me more than anything so I don't have to worry about it.
I am a small bit concerned about the Bachelor party. Not because of any strip club insecurities, I could care less. This is his last crazy night of bachelorhood and I can guarantee nothing beyond a lap dance will happen with a stripper or any other women. I totally expect crazy stories to come out of this and I am happy to hear them. However, why I am a bit concerned is because after watching "The Hangover", all of the guys including my fiancé now are dead set on having the bachelor party in Vegas. I have attempted to lay down rules such as:
No stealing a tiger (or any animals for that matter)!
If they end up in jail I am not coming to Vegas to bail them out!
Everyone must come back complete intact, teeth especially!
If they misplace the groom in a drunken state, all hell will break loose!
That is my list so far! It is still growing as potential major catastrophes come to mind!
i absolutely agree with your words and feel it is most intelligently put. you did not have to put strippers down or people who are ok with it. everyone has their own relationships and knows what works for them. communication is the key! as will be throughout our whole marriage. i think so many people hide their true feelings because they feel they should "act" a certain way. This is why the divorce rate is so high. I trust my man wholeheartedly and he has been to a strip club once in the two years we have been together. We talked about it and he was willing to not go, but we came to a compromise as i did not want him left out of his friends bachelor party. My issue is not with the nudity but with some girl dancing topless on him, so he agreed he would not pay for a lap dance. As a matter of fact he texted me many times that evening. That was such a hard night for me and i was very sad even with his texts to me. Of coarse he agrred that he would not want a naked man dancing on me either, works both ways. we decided on no strippers as he does not want to put me through the pain again i had gone through that night. I feel bad sometimes that maybe i should be more accepting but i can not change how i feel in that i do NOT want some topless woman dancing all over my man for any reason. I would never want to do anything to my fiance that would make him feel that way, EVER. comunication!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:d883973f-4985-499a-a946-08117e8210dd">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]...My guy likes video games, doesn't drink, is pretty mellow. I think they'll just go to a pal's house and play rock band.
Posted by fabshelly[/QUOTE]
This sounds like mine. :) I imagine he, the groomsmen, and my brother will all spend the night drinking, eating pizza, and playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Sadly....if I know my bridesmaids, we'll probably be doing the same thing...and have a blast. Haha! Such is life when gamers get married.
We both are doing our bachelorette parties next month on the same day. (It seriously just happened like that) He is going to a Cubs game in Chicago, out to bars, and staying the night. My bridal party and friends are throwing me a cookout, getting me a limo and vip treatment at clubs through VIP Bachelorette Party in Chicago, and we're staying the night (along with any other surprises)! He knows I don't like strip clubs, so he knows not to go there and so do his friends! They will have fun regardless. I don't want any strippers either; I think it's trashy! (especially for the ocassion)
I agree, I know he won't cheat on me @ a strip club, but his friends are morons. When a bunch of them get together, it's like they share a collective brain. My biggest fear isn't some stripper rubbing up against him (although that makes me uneasy) it's that his friends will be passing out pills along w/ alcohol. I have discussed my concerns about his friends and their drug use many times, but to no avail. Am I being controlling by insisting that he abstain?
We are about 5.5 months away so nothing is set at all but we have talked about it. I told him I don't care about him going to strip clubs but I do care about him going into VIP rooms or being in a private setting with anyone. I don't care about lap dances at his party because it is kinda a tradition, one I don't like but when guys get together and go it's gonna happen. I told him if it's his night he can do it as long as it's out in the main room. I told him after that night, I hope it's out of his system!! I don't think it's quite cheating but I do NOT like the idea of someone else's boobs and v-j in his face, and I have been I know that it happens just like that. I think that is somewhere for me and mine. I explained this to my man and I don't think he will have any lap dances but him going and looking is probably going to happen. I trust him completely that he is never going to take it farther than that and that's all I have to think about. If you don't like it, let your man know how you feel and how it makes you feel, but if he goes, you HAVE to trust him!!!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:74648224-dca3-4a94-ae90-4d41bf2df11b">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE] Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D
Posted by bttrfly82b[/QUOTE]
so what you're saying is that
A. unless you're 100% sure that all women think your fiance is a dog, he shouldn't be allowed to go to a strip club
B. lap dances somehow translate to herpes
C. you actually believed the 'golf' story your fiance told you to cover up for his strip-club hopping bachelor party
good thing MY fiance and his buddies are spending THEIR bachelor party at Crate & Barrel picking out some lovely home furnishings for our new home.
My fiance and I are having our bachelor/bachelorette parties on the same night. His group is going paintballing, then to the bars, and then possibly to a strip club. I am completely fine with this. I trust him and that is why I am marrying him. If they want to go watch a few girls dance around that's fine with me. It's not like we don't like looking at guys every once in awhile .....
My finance's best man already booked a weekend in Vegas for his bach party. I'm fine with this. I trust him completley and I trust the best man. The other groomsmen though I don't trust as much. I'm trying not to worry about it, since I have a tendancy to do so. Ours will be the same weekend because I didn't want to stay home alone. We're getting married in our hometown, so I'll be going back there for the weekend to finish wedding details and have my party. I'm actually more concerned about mine than his! My MOH tends to do what she thinks would be fun and I don't want a drunken night at the bars, strippers, or anything too wild. I've love to just have a spa day! As for rules, the only rule I had for my fiance and his best man was that the party had to be over a week before the wedding. No Hangover situation here!
I was starting to think I was alone in the fact that I HATED the idea of my fiance & his friends going to a strip club for his bachelor party & having some dirty strippers body all over my future husband... Last summer he went to a friends bachelor party & they all got lap dances and I thought it wouldnt bother me but I was really upset for a good month. I know that they'll be going to a strip club for his bachelor party & I feel like I cant really do anything about it... Our parties will NOT be on the same night so... any advice on how to get through the night without showing up to the club & ripping him to shreads???
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:4d04436e-ce99-42c5-8e40-8dae76b0d3b0">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]In my opinion, if what they are doing to him wouldn't be considered okay in any place other than a strip club, then it's not okay period.[/QUOTE]
The joint thing sounds like a wonderful idea! My fiancee and I had some issues with him lying to me about 6 months ago about stupid stuff and I wasn't okay with him going out with his buddies for a "guys" night because I know the kinds of things thy would do and I'm not comfortable with him going to strip clubs etc without me until the trust issues are completely resolved. But renting a cabin somewhere for the whole wedding party sounds awesome! we both enjoy that kind of stuff and it's a whole lot better than putting my foot down and saying no bachelor party and ticking off his guy friends!
Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?
Maybe I'm jaded because I'm from Nevada...so the whole stripper thing is really not a big deal. They don't want to have sex with your future husband they want his money! Your future husbands know what to do and what not to do and if they don't you probably shouldn't be marrying them.
Reasons not to care if they go to a strip club
1. you can't get an std from a lapdance as someone here thought you could. why they thought you could, I have no idea
2. Your boobs are probably real and theirs aren't
3. Hopefully your FH is not a moron and knows that sleeping with a stripper is a bad idea.
4. They get to play with your boobs whenever and fake ones look great aren't fun to play with, so I've been told.
5. You being a control freak and telling him what he can and can't do on that night, is not only rude, dishonest, unfair, untrusting, and disprespectful but is going to make him want to do the things you don't want him to do in the first place.
In the end you need to trust your man to make the right decisions he loves you he is going to make the right choice his friends have nothing to do with it, he's not going to bend to their will (they don't have the force). Don't ask him what he did, don't have a giant "talk" tell your man that you want him to have a blast do what he wants and not feel guilty about looking at someone's boob for 2 seconds at one time because you freaked him out.. let him be the man you are going to marry and let him not have any doubts that he made the right choice in marrying you, because you trust and respect him to make the right decisions.
[QUOTE]2. Your boobs are probably real and theirs aren't 3. Hopefully your FH is not a moron and knows that sleeping with a stripper is a bad idea. 4. They get to play with your boobs whenever and fake ones look great aren't fun to play with, so I've been told. 5. You being a control freak and telling him what he can and can't do on that night, is not only rude, dishonest, unfair, untrusting, and disprespectful but is going to make him want to do the things you don't want him to do in the first place. [/QUOTE]
Hey I LOVE my fake boobs and so does FI! :o)
I agree 100% on the controll thing....
Best of luck to you gals, and go have fun on your bachelorette parties! I know I am.
M/C Aug. 2010
M/C Jan. 2011
M/C June 2011
TTC
"Momma Karly" (step-mom) Nov. 2009
I am a small bit concerned about the Bachelor party. Not because of any strip club insecurities, I could care less. This is his last crazy night of bachelorhood and I can guarantee nothing beyond a lap dance will happen with a stripper or any other women. I totally expect crazy stories to come out of this and I am happy to hear them. However, why I am a bit concerned is because after watching "The Hangover", all of the guys including my fiancé now are dead set on having the bachelor party in Vegas. I have attempted to lay down rules such as:
That is my list so far! It is still growing as potential major catastrophes come to mind!
[QUOTE]...My guy likes video games, doesn't drink, is pretty mellow. I think they'll just go to a pal's house and play rock band.
Posted by fabshelly[/QUOTE]
This sounds like mine. :) I imagine he, the groomsmen, and my brother will all spend the night drinking, eating pizza, and playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Sadly....if I know my bridesmaids, we'll probably be doing the same thing...and have a blast. Haha! Such is life when gamers get married.
[QUOTE] Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D
Posted by bttrfly82b[/QUOTE]
so what you're saying is that
A. unless you're 100% sure that all women think your fiance is a dog, he shouldn't be allowed to go to a strip club
B. lap dances somehow translate to herpes
C. you actually believed the 'golf' story your fiance told you to cover up for his strip-club hopping bachelor party
good thing MY fiance and his buddies are spending THEIR bachelor party at Crate & Barrel picking out some lovely home furnishings for our new home.
My fiance and I are having our bachelor/bachelorette parties on the same night. His group is going paintballing, then to the bars, and then possibly to a strip club. I am completely fine with this. I trust him and that is why I am marrying him. If they want to go watch a few girls dance around that's fine with me. It's not like we don't like looking at guys every once in awhile
.....
My finance's best man already booked a weekend in Vegas for his bach party. I'm fine with this. I trust him completley and I trust the best man. The other groomsmen though I don't trust as much. I'm trying not to worry about it, since I have a tendancy to do so. Ours will be the same weekend because I didn't want to stay home alone. We're getting married in our hometown, so I'll be going back there for the weekend to finish wedding details and have my party. I'm actually more concerned about mine than his! My MOH tends to do what she thinks would be fun and I don't want a drunken night at the bars, strippers, or anything too wild. I've love to just have a spa day! As for rules, the only rule I had for my fiance and his best man was that the party had to be over a week before the wedding. No Hangover situation here!
[QUOTE]In my opinion, if what they are doing to him wouldn't be considered okay in any place other than a strip club, then it's not okay period.[/QUOTE]
EX-ACT-LEE.