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Birdie1483 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:a78e8ae9-7ac2-4f88-b9d3-716ea73bdd67">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Tack on "medication". I just got switched anxiety meds because the ones I was on were making it impossible to lose weight, no matter what the hell I did.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Yes. I can thank my last 20 pounds on taking an anti-depression/anxiety medication. I now am off of the medicine because it was wearing off and made me gain weight AND I continue to have the anxiety and depression issues. I"m also afraid to take any medicine again because I'm afraid of getting fatter.

louisvillebride21 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:9480581d-492d-43be-b773-90917a9592ed">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I'm not really sure why you are making this personal. I stated an opinion. Disagree all you want with it but let's not start taking this to heart.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'm taking it to heart because I'm not afucking size 2. You don't think it stings when you have a tiny miss thing telling me/us to my/our faces that we're being judge for the choices we make? Again, there's people on the other side of the screen.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

All I know is I love to eat.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:51310ea8-4494-422b-bd0d-0b90db638b89">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Smokey re: affordability. Every time H and I get fast food, I think about the cost effectiveness of it. Eating well is something you have to have the finances to make happen. Sometimes the dollar menu at Micky d's isn't a "choice."
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

H and I got Chipotle last night. He mentioned that he liked it was a fast and cheap option in the area we were in.

Meg1979 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:5c6fcc5d-1711-4e2a-86d8-bc41373d856f">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]andy, you're sounding like a douche.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

This.

I understand that I'm overweight and it's not healthy long term, but I have a pretty healthy self-esteem when it comes to my weight. I just think it's really, really sad how much women equate self-worth with their size or comment on another woman's size (I'm thinking of this morning about comments about how slender Kate Middleton is). Granted, my life isn't always sunshine and unicorn farts when it comes to self-esteem, but fat people can have moments of not wanting to do anything about their weight. It's pretty presumptious that you think we should WANT to change, Andy.

andy71781 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:f6bed9cf-259f-4b7c-ab2b-7a76b1795968">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]besides andy, this started because you were basically saying you see the x-box douch bag's side of things regarding buffets. you put yourself here, so don't act all butthurt about it.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

Not butthurt...not acting butthurt.

I said I think that buffets contribute to unhealthy eating habits. I stand by it 100%.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

My computer is damn slow, so I need to lump a bunch of responses together here.

andy, thinking someone should want to change is an excercise in absurdity. Truly. I think people should WANT to wear real pants instead of leggings, but the only person who's fashion I can control is me, so I'm just not going to wear them. Beyond that, I don't really think about it. Me and my happy 214 lb ass would feel really uncomfortable meeting you and that makes me kind of sad. (Not that my ASS is 214 lbs, pretty sure it's the whole me, but you catch my drift.)

anna, eye to eye. I think that overweight people wear their vice very visibly and that's unfortunate.

smokey, you make a very valid point about the correlation between poverty and obesity.

lala, why is it that no one ever asks about my health when they comment on my weight, but then say "oh I'm just worried about your health!". Really? Cause you didn't ask about my blood pressure/blood sugar/cholesterol (all within healthy range, btw.)

laladypoet · April 2011

let's see...buffets have been around for how long? and have people always been as overweight as they are now? yeah.

I think there's a lot more to it than that, Andy. socio-economics. look into it.

laurenpm · April 2011

Also, knowing what is healthy to eat is a HUGE part of it. And I don't mean easy stuff like "is this fried chicken healthy for me?". Most of what we are taught growing up (at least in my area) was to eat 3 meals a day and we didn't really know how important whole grains, lean proteins, etc are to a person's diet.

andy71781 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:7db81d32-2a29-4da2-b54b-e268d05da16e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]let's see...buffets have been around for how long? and have people always been as overweight as they are now? yeah. I think there's a lot more to it than that, Andy. socio-economics. look into it.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with you on the socio-economics causing obesity front. I think that's what you are getting at.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

Mery, we don't have Chipotle here. Southpark ruined it for me anyway. Any time someone says Chipotle, I think of rectal bleeding. YWIA.

Birdie1483 · April 2011

I don't like it when nurses act all surprised at my health blood sugar/pressure/cholesterol when they see me. I don't eat Big Macs everyday, I just love me some cheesy pasta and wine.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:bce69664-05a6-47c3-808e-620eb46dda59">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Smokey, I'm not saying I don't understand why someone doesn't lose weight. I totally do. <strong>But I don't understand someone who says "you know, even if I could snap my fingers and look like Gisele Bundchen, I prefer this size and shape because it is 100% my ideal body."</strong> I feel like even alcoholics or other addicts have moments where they wish they could change. That's all I'm talking about, how I don't get not having those moments of wishing for that change.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Frankly, I don't know anyone with that attitude. BUT I can see how you can use your weight as a crutch, like it's your biggest flaw. "Oh, I'm not married because of my weight." or "I'm not rich because jobs discriminate against fat people." It's a way people can hide. Others don't see them as human, at times. They don't have to work on developing a personality if they don't want to because it's a way to shield themselves from the world.

ETA: Also, as someone who has always struggled with weight, eventually it i something you come to accept. Being dangerously obese is another issue, but just not being a size 4 is something that's not the end of the world.

Bubbalub · April 2011

I'm on anxiety meds and I started them up again in 2007. I have gained 30lb since then. My eating habits did not change, I was working the same job I had for 2 years already, and I even started playing soccer again a couple days a week. I used to be able to drop weight by snapping my fingers. Now I just seem to keep gaining and I'm freaked out. I feel like a loser and a failure, and that people are judging me because I used to be the skinny, hot girl and now I'm the old, fat one.

I know there is more I can do to lose weight right now. I need to exercise more, first of all. But I get into this slump where I just feel like sitting around and knitting and watching tv and I can't seem to motivate. And that's with only 30 lbs to lose. I can't imagine if I had 100 or more to lose, how I would find the motivation when it just seems so hard sometimes.

laladypoet · April 2011

no, I'm talking about socio-economics. it's totally underground.
/joking

laladypoet · April 2011

chipotle is awful. FREEBIRDS FO LIFE, YO!

andy71781 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:8d3cecd4-1eaf-4f79-a3b2-e3107da867f3">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]My computer is damn slow, so I need to lump a bunch of responses together here. andy, thinking someone should want to change is an excercise in absurdity. Truly. I think people should WANT to wear real pants instead of leggings, but the only person who's fashion I can control is me, so I'm just not going to wear them. Beyond that, I don't really think about it. Me and my happy 214 lb ass would feel really uncomfortable meeting you and that makes me kind of sad. (Not that my ASS is 214 lbs, pretty sure it's the whole me, but you catch my drift.) anna, eye to eye. I think that overweight people wear their vice very visibly and that's unfortunate. smokey, you make a very valid point about the correlation between poverty and obesity. lala, why is it that no one ever asks about my health when they comment on my weight, but then say "oh I'm just worried about your health!". Really? Cause you didn't ask about my blood pressure/blood sugar/cholesterol (all within healthy range, btw.)
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I'm really sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry if I hurt anybody's feelings in this thread. I really like all of you ladies and I didn't mean to. I just said something I feel about American culture in general. Not about any of you. Most of you are people who I feel like I "know" and would never judge.

annakb8 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:86557982-a414-4ce3-9666-4f8095b8ff5d">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : H and I got Chipotle last night. He mentioned that he liked it was a fast and cheap option in the area we were in.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I love Chipotle and while it is a cheaper option, it isn't terribly cheap. When FI and I go to Chipotle we spend about $19, when we go to Burger King we spend about $8. That's a huge difference.

andy71781 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:3edbd589-6439-43ae-92b6-46849ee5c1c0">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Maybe I'm taking it to heart because I'm not afucking size 2. You don't think it stings when you have a tiny miss thing telling me/us to my/our faces that we're being judge for the choices we make? Again, there's people on the other side of the screen.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

I agree that if had I made this post 5 years ago when I was a size 16 - it would have gone over a whole lot better.

emilyinchile · April 2011

Mery, I don't hear that attitude a lot, but just some of the fat acceptance stuff I've seen online about how people are so happy at their large size and don't want to lose weight at all. It's great that those people aren't having nervous breakdowns over their weight, but it is hard for me to understand not at all wanting to lose some weight.

laladypoet · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:f736f4dd-a259-482e-93c1-c2929e074f49">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I agree that if had I made this post 5 years ago when I was a size 16 - it would have gone over a whole lot better.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]
no, I think it would've come off as self-loathing.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:c0ee06ed-9e14-4920-a83d-09f3c66216dd">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Mery, we don't have Chipotle here. Southpark ruined it for me anyway. Any time someone says Chipotle, I think of rectal bleeding. YWIA.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

It's delicious. And yet awful. It's funny because their motto is "food with integrity" and they use all-natural meats and stuff, but each burrito is like the size of a football and I'm like, "ugggggghhhh so much sodium and tasty goodness packed into a 1000 calorie dinner."

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Do I wish I could have my lifestyle AND be a size two? Of course I do. But, it's not possible for me. In order to be a "skinny" person, I'd have to deprive myself of a lot of what I love in life, which is food. I have some metabolism issues and hormone issues that make losing weight incredibly hard for me. I'm one of those people who tried living on carrot sticks and working out two hours a day (yeah, that's an exaggeration). Was I thinner? I was! I was also miserable. I missed food. I love food. I was cranky all. the. time. So, I accept that this is what I've got. I'm a bit heavier now than I would like honestly, but a) I'm pregnant and bloated to high heaven (pre-KU weight was 208) and b) my "happy" weight is between 180-190, which still puts me in a place where I get the judges of the world coming down on my head.

laladypoet · April 2011

what annoys me the most is people who congratulate themselves on being thin, like genetics have nothing to do with it. I have to turn myself inside out just to lose ten pounds. I have skinny friends who eat more than I do. meh.

squirrly · April 2011

Side note: apparently, being pregnant opens the door for people to make completely inappropriate comments about what you eat, your weight, etc.

I have gained 19 pounds so far. At the end of January I had gained about 12, I believe, and friend of my MIL told me I was adventurous/bold/something similar for eating a cube of cake that was about 2" in any direction at my SIL's shower.

Um, really? Because my OB told me I was free to gain a pound a WEEK right about then. But good to know person on the street is better equipped to judge my weight gain and what I eat.

ANYWAY.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:432b4b51-a8ac-45d7-b878-da93eb2b9e32">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, knowing what is healthy to eat is a HUGE part of it. And I don't mean easy stuff like "is this fried chicken healthy for me?". Most of what we are taught growing up (at least in my area) was to eat 3 meals a day and we didn't really know how important whole grains, lean proteins, etc are to a person's diet.
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this, but add in things like portion size, eating habits learned in childhood which are hard to break, the issues many have feeling "full" at an appropriate time. Not to mention things outside the control of many, like food additives and ingredients which have only been around a few decades and which we don't understand the effects of quite yet. Things like corn-fed beef being out of whack with Omega-6 acids, HFCS, etc.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:d1606741-3c04-447d-88c6-8b044e538db1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I love Chipotle and while it is a cheaper option, it isn't terribly cheap. When FI and I go to Chipotle we spend about $19, when we go to Burger King we spend about $8. That's a huge difference.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it was just cheap compared with the other options in the area! We were around a fast-casual salad place that would have been more like $30 and a few other sit-down places.

georgia_bride09 · April 2011

Ditto Manda. I choose food over being a size 2. I always will.

I also think that saying "this opinion would've sounded better if I was a size 16" is about as douchey as it gets. I KNOW you're not trying to sound douchey, Andy, but it is coming off that way. Stop now, while you're {not really} ahead.

Bubbalub · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:3956c500-753c-4b29-91d5-ca40ccf9f296">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Side note: apparently, being pregnant opens the door for people to make completely inappropriate comments about what you eat, your weight, etc.</strong> I have gained 19 pounds so far. At the end of January I had gained about 12, I believe, and friend of my MIL told me I was adventurous/bold/something similar for eating a cube of cake that was about 2" in any direction at my SIL's shower. Um, really? Because my OB told me I was free to gain a pound a WEEK right about then. But good to know person on the street is better equipped to judge my weight gain and what I eat. ANYWAY.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Yikes. I would never say anything to anyone about what they were eating, pregnant or not. Getting KU seems to bring on all the crazies like the ones who judge how much weight you gain and the strangers that think it's ok to walk up to you and put their hand on your belly.

andy71781 · April 2011

I think a really big disconnect between what I am saying and what some of you are attacking is overweight vs. mordibly obese (or whatever term you think is more accurate).

I'm talking about a weight that interferes with a person's quality of life and that is dangerous - not somebody who has a normal healthy weight but is not a size 2.

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