Things you shouldn't register for...

vmadr01 · October 2010

Both my husband and I dont want a registry. Hes currently in WA (hes in the navy) and im in TX so ill be relocating after our church wedding. We both dont want the extra stress of packing up the gifts and having them possibly get damaged on the trip and having to exchange them out when we arrive in WA. So in this case what should I do? I know his family and mine know we dont want a registry and agree with us.

kkidwell55 · October 2010

I completely agree with the user who spoke about registering for a honeymoon because they could not afford one otherwise. I would be happy to help my friends and relatives have that experience!

Everyone is different and has different needs. As long as couples hit a variety of price points on their registry, who cares? If they want tampons, why can't you give them tampons? What's it to you?

It's certainly not what I would want to get on my wedding night, but hey, to each his or her own. As long as they hit a vareity of price points and don't force guests to smend a small fortune, than why does it matter?

If you really are this person's friend or relative, you ought to want to give them a gift they actually need/want, not something that fits your definition of what a gift "should" be. A gift is for the recipient, not the giver.

mazinggrace · October 2010

My FI and I already live together and we have almost everything we need. We were kind of confused as to what to register for. SO we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and registered for those things we want, but do not need. Like new towels, nice ones, ranging from $5(hand towel)-$50(Bath Sheet). We also registered for a $300+ knife set, however BBB breaks the knife set up into individual pieces so that people can buy them at $20-$30 a piece or if someone splurged they could by the whole set. We even registered for new utensils, I mean we have some, they work but nice ones would be nice and we would donate our old stuff to someone less fortunate.

However we are both very handy and we registered at Sears for tools and workout equipment for us to all use.

I say register for stuff you want/need but remember you will have people of all budgets unless you are a Hilton or something. And be tasteful. Some people are uncomfortable with buying lingerie for someone else. If you really want cash do not register for a ton of stuff and maybe your registry will be sold out and people will feel then need to give you cash.

jdiefenderfer · October 2010

We booked our honeymoon and the agent said people can buy gift certificates towards the cost of the honeymoon or towards excursions. Is this really a bad idea? We don't have a house so yes we want those items but in reality the stuff is going to sit for awhile after the wedding.

rnbwsktles · October 2010

I agree that you should register for whatever you need/want, even if it's cash. I constantly have people telling me my registry isn't long enough or expensive enough, but I've already added stuff I don't need. I have no need for fancy china (nor will I ever, it's just not me or FI) and i've received numerous complaints about this.

If someone doesn't want to buy me anything on the registry, then I would prefer cash or gift cards. It's ridiculous to register for stuff that other people want you to buy.

Has anyone else received complains about their registry not being "good enough?"

kearns.elizabeth · October 2010

I think that registering for a honeymoon is totally acceptable in cases where the couple has been living together for many years. It is wasteful to just "upgrade" things that don't really need to be replaced. The past 3 weddings that I have attended have had honeyfunds. I find that it makes the gift giving process a bit more fun and intimate as a guest. I would rather pay for the couple to have dinner or a massage than give them a plate or towel. But that is just me. There are obviously people that will disagree.

russe289 · October 2010

Personal hygine items. A friend's EX-husband registered for a nose hair trimmer. Yuck!

But, just guage your guest list. Get a descent price range. Don't feel bad if your pot and pan set costs $300. Just make sure you have smaller priced items as well. I have a large family and often times 3 or 4 members will go in together and buy a more expensive item. So a lot of it has to do with your circle of friends and family (ask those in your fam who have already gotten married!).

ALS2011 · October 2010

I think you bringing up the Moon Pies is HILARIOUS!
When my fiance propsed, he made a little "picnic" in the woods, and in a bright orange, metal bucket there were 2 Chocolate Moonpies and 2 Sweet Teas! LOL That's how we do it in the South!

AAAW07 · October 2010

I've had friends "register" for these things, but they never expect people to get those things as gifts for them. They reigster for that stuff because many places offer a discount on the items on the registry after the wedding for the bride and groom. For instance, 10% off a big-screen TV - that could be over $200 some places - I completely understand why they would just put it on the registry! It's not tacky if you actually understand the reason behind doing so.

mkjpop · October 2010

We might register for a game console - it's an activity we'd be doing together. Honestly, I don't care what people register for...some people probably disagree, but you don't HAVE to buy off the registry.

Rans07 · October 2010

We thought about asking some guests for $$ towards our honeymoon instead of gifts because some family members live out of state, wont make it to the wedding and wanted to contribute in some way..... BUT... we decided not to because my FI and I hate asking for money.. we couldn't figure out an "appropriate" way to ask.. We figured if they want to give us money instead of a gift, they will...

and P.S. A LOT OF GUESTS DON'T EVEN LOOK AT YOUR REGISTRY, SOMETIMES THEY BUy STUFF FROM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PLACE THAN WHERE YOU'RE REGISTERED.

BridalGab416 · October 2010

I think it also depends on the type of wedding you are having.

I have been to low key beach weddings where the reception was held in a small restaurant and we danced to music from her Ipod. It was fun, but I would certainly not gift a $200 china set in return.

But a traditional, black tie high end wedding? It is natural to expect nice gifts in return....

Just my two cents...

ellev · October 2010

I completely agree with mpelosi520 and john&julie that registering for a honeymoon is fun and appropriate! The first time I ever saw this done at a friend's wedding I thought it was the most brilliant thing ever and I still do. As John&Julie said, you can register for activities (in addition to things like nights in the hotel room that might turn some people off to the idea). I ended up giving them a sushi lunch on the beach and a day sightseeing trip to the Mayan ruins - I thought it was awesome that I could contribute to and think of them having a blast on their honeymoon.

I'm planning for our honeymoon to be our main registry (I think I'm going to use honeyfund.com) and then to register for a few Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond items for people whose minds are totally blown by the honeymoon registry. Of course, we don't expect presents at all, and will only tell about the registry if someone asks.

chrisandlia · October 2010

I think you should only register for things for your "new home" together and it should be all price points. Guests should NOT shop out of everyone else attending's pockets. Just because there iare things that are "too expensive" for one person's budget doesnt mean it's not in another person's budget. Also, PB and WS give 10% for the next year to complete your registry. So the bride/groom can compile gift cards and cash and get the expensive pots and pans or whatever.
Furniture and hard to wrap items will probably not even be purchased for the couple realistically. Maybe mom and dad will spring for it but people usually like to bring you a toaster or place setting. Again, they can get it with their $ later at a discount.
We are 29 and 30. I know some of my friends have made comments like "You think your friends are rich?" about us registering at Williams Sonoma and Pottery Barn. Well, not all my friends have the same budget, my family doesnt have the same budget as my friends and it what we like! I'm not going to register for bedding at Wal-Mart just so my friends can afford to buy a larger item off my registery when I wouldnt go to Wal-Mart (or Target even) to buy new bedding for myself. We have all kinds of items on the registery from $10 - $20 items to expensive pots and pans. I feel comofortable with it even if it offends some.

I'm ok with the honeymoon registry. I'm a travel agent and I've had couple "register for their honeymoon". I dont get very many couples have many contribute to it though. Usually it's just very close relatives that will such as mom and dad if any. I dont think it's tacky. Putting a dollar amount allowed to contribute to it would be.

Basically, dont register for clothes (so ridiculous), lingerie (have whoever is throwing you the shower put your sizes on the personal shower invite and leave it at that!), sex toys, cash (this should be assumed that you would accept cash), food (I've seen it!) or your wedding. If you cant afford the ceremony - then downgrade! SOOO TACKY!

crystal27lynn · October 2010

I can't believe how offended people these days still get. Do they even realize that the last stats out there said the majority of couples RETURN MOST of what they get! Why? Because all they really want is the money! My co-worker just got married and all 10 of us pitched in $50 to have $500 for a really nice item for them. Another co-worker of mine just bought her niece a $700 tv for their wedding gift and my brother in laws grandmother gave them a $1000 check! I don't come from money at all but there are going to be people at your wedding that have it and are happy to give you an amazing gift so do them a favor and put some nice, expensive things on your registry! One of my co-workers told me you should always gift what was spent on you to be at the wedding and I thought that was a good idea. I have lived with my FI for 3 years now so we really don't need anything. I'm sure we could upgrade some things but my grandparents always said to me it's not about what you want or what you could have it's about what you need and what gets you buy. I've been trying to tell myself that over and over again. So what do we need? Gift cards to restaunts so we can have date nights to keep our marriage happy. A honeymoon which will be a once in a lifetime opportunity. We need MONEY to pay off debt to have more to save for a future. All the crap on a registry most the time is not a NEED. We registred for bottles of specific wines cause they are something we enjoy together. One want we did registry for was a Wii, cause it's soemthing we can do together. In the end it's about what a couple wants & needs. If they don't need the traditional stuff then why register for it? So you are offended?

cldove · October 2010

I have to disagree on the honeymoon falling into this category...I've heard of these new honeymoon registry websites and I think they're an awesome idea. Especially for couples that are in a similar situation as my fiance and I -- i'm almost 30, he's 33, we've been on our own for years and are combining 2 households. We already have almost everything we need and only have 25 items on our household Bed Bath & Beyond registry, but 250 guests will be attending. We're paying for a lot of our wedding ourselves and it's stressful to think about another several grand for a honeymoon, but really want a special tropical honeymoon. This is a once and a lifetime trip. Many guests would love to contribute to allow us to do so, and while a lot of people want to give money anyway, some feel its impersonal, and items for our honeymoon would be fun for them to purchase for us. The registry site allows for all ranges of contributions, such as $100 toward plane tickets or upgraded honeymoon suite, or a bottle of wine to enjoy, a round of golf while we're there, or artwork to bring home. Very neat!

beckynsean11 · October 2010

Genuine question, My fiancee & I have lived together for almost 5 years & have 95% of the things we need. We also have a small apartment & NO storage space. There are a few things we can register for, but not very much. What the heck are we supposed to do????

Babetini · October 2010

I agree no registering for furniture, which is why I was shocked when I looked at the knots registry suggestions and a sofa and other furniture items were on there!

BirdyBride · October 2010

What's wrong with registering for the honeymoon? What about sites like honeymoonwishes.com?

a036618 · October 2010

Ugh. I'm going to be married in 8 days, and this subject is such a matter of contention with many members of both my and my fiance's family. We've lived together for 4 years and have 4 children (one set of twins in that mix). We have a house and household things, and almost everything else we need to run that household. If not for impractical things, what does that leave us needing of a gift registry?

Most of his family thinks we should have included registry information with the invitations... I think it's tacky, especially since we already HAVE the things we need. Ironically, they are also the first ones to point out that we already have plates and flatware, small appliances and gadgets, towels, pots and pans... etc.

The pettiness and cattiness of the comments made are hurtful, especially the ones made behind the couple's backs. We don't want to have a registry, but people also want to know what to buy... so alas, we registered at Target.

Let the bride and groom put whatever they want on the registry, practical or not. I think it's pretty doubtful that people who put a $300 mixer or $600 set of pans, really expect people to buy them. I actually think the bottle of children's tylenol put on the list just shows that the couple is poking fun at the 'registry concept'... and the comments made about it definitely shows what a conundrum a registry can be, from the couple's perspective. People are going to gripe and groan to eachother about expensive, impractical items... inexpensive practical ones... whether or not the registry info is put in with the invite...

Lighten up, folks. It's their day. Every bit of back talk a person makes about 'can you believe they _________', only takes away from the joy and happiness that everyone involved in the wedding can experience... and PLEASE, God... if you feel so strongly about what the couple did or didn't do, that you have to gossip about it? Do everyone a favor and RSVP "regretfully declines". The absence of the catty, gossipy bs is the best gift you can give them.

MegKrauss · October 2010

Question:
I made my registry at target, but I have started an additional registry at myregistry.com where you add gifts from any store. There is a place to add a cash gift, that I titled 'house fund'. I also added a couple gift cards (more as a convenience to people who didn't want to pick out a gift).
You can click here to see what it looks like: http://myregistry.com/visitors/giftlist.aspx?sid=539677d9-b203-4ffb-8553-3eb7f3568155#TopLeftScreen

I have not advertised my registry yet, so I can change it. I thought that it was tasteful, but after reading your comments I'm starting to question it. Do you think I should remove the cash gift? The gift cards? Thanks.

gschiesser · October 2010

I really believe this is about the couple. Its not about what people want you to have. My FI and I live together and have everything we need. In fact we have to much from each having our own home before meeting each other. We are really struggling on what to put on our registry. I don't want things that sit in the attic for years. I do think that if you can you should have a variety of price ranges, your parents may want to buy you something like a new TV where as a coworker would probably be wanting to buy you a shower curtain. When you are older like I am there is not much you need. We are still trying to figure out what to do about our registry. We have asked parents to let relatives know (if they ask) that we are currently doing remodeling and gift cards to home depot would be appreciated but we are not coming out and asking for them.

As far as the wedding shower I have asked my bridesmaid to put on the invites that instead of a gift to bring their favorite recipe. To me that is something I will cherish forever as I love to cook.

kornfugate1 · October 2010

You should really be ashamed of yourself for one giving someone a $25 gift card for their wedding and then tell people on this blog you did so. If you can't afford to go to a wedding don't go and just send a card with a minimum of $50 along with it. Wow, I would never even spend less then $40 on a shower gift. All you did by doing that was give that bride and groom full range to drag your name though the mud and forever be known as their "Cheapest Friends Ever".

TyandLiz · October 2010

We are doing a destination wedding and have been living together for almost 4 years so we have a lot of household items. We thought it would be fun to put together a honeymoon registry as well since we will be at our destination for two weeks (wedding and honeymoon included). Hopefully our guests aren't offended by this type of registry, but i think it really depends on how close and comfortable you are with your friends and family. We aren't a traditional couple doing a traditional wedding so why do we have to have a traditional registry?

gschiesser · October 2010

MegKrauss, this is something you and your FI will have to figure out on your own. You know your guests, how well do you think it will be received. I personally think its a great option specially for people who want to give you smaller amounts. I have found on some registries that the smaller ticket items sometimes aren't much of a gift and I would rather giver the person a gift card to that place.

Most importantly its YOUR day if they dont like the idea they can buy you something different. If you can give them options. I feel if you can find it on a registry it must be ok.

halze · October 2010

lol...
can i also please register for marshmallow peeps and godiva chocolates? i just love strawberry seashells.

catloveschanel · October 2010

This is so helpful! I just sat up last night doing ours. I want a mixer and that costs $400. Why???? It is aqua. We are old and we have everything, but I would love a WII. Never thought of that! I would also love money for the honeymoon but too chicken to ask.

So here's a real question: I made a cute website on the knot. Can I put on my website on the Registry part:

We have no needs, only wants. We would love it if people went in together on a gift as some of our items are expensive. However, times are tough and if you are a penny short, please consider your friendship our greatest gift.

I wonder if I have the nerve to ask for a WII.

Feedback PLEASE! I love the registry ! So tempting not to ask for makeup and shoes. LOL

labird68 · October 2010

I don't think there's anything wrong with registering for a honeymoon, depending on the way it's done. On honeyfund.com, you can divide your honeymoon up into pieces as small as say "afternoon tea & scones" if you were going to the UK. You can customize all these fun little aspects of your trip, and then your guests can have a little fun helping you to plan your honeymoon. If you were keen enough, you could even send guests who contributed postcards from your destination, so they know how their gift was used (as long as there aren't too many people who contributed...otherwise thank you cards when you return to your home describing the vacation would probably be greatly appreciated). I don't know...I think it's a great idea.

rubyiu · October 2010

I don't see anything wrong with a honeymoon registry. Actually, the Emily Post insititute even says it's not a breach of etiquette. I think they are awesome and on th few occasions I've known someone who has had one, I bought something off of it. I much prefer buying them an experience and having tem think of me doing it than buying them a towel or blender.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with a couple "fun" gifts for the couple, like a Wii or board games. The whole point of a registry is to put stuff you'll use, you might not NEED all of it but a couple items aren't bad.

txnsgrl79 · October 2010

Absolutely do not remove gift cards. Gift cards are so common and popular tese days that there is nothing wrong with asking for them... especially if you have any single men coming. They usually have no idea what to get even if given a list! Plus it's not as though all you are asking for is gift cards. You have a variety which is perfect

Things you shouldn't register for...

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