kicked out pregnant bridesmaid

SuperBusyBride · December 2010

Holy crap! I missed the part about the wedding photographer.

In case you are worried about how it would make you look if you cancelled the photography, DONT! You would NOT be the bad friend here AT ALL.
She sounds like a spoiled, entitled little bitch. Good for you for not putting up with it!

One of my best friends recently took herself out of my wedding because she no longer likes my Fiance. She doesn't like him because, as she was giving me a very rude -jokey opinion on how she thinks I will be as a wife, my fiance stepped in and respectfully ask that she not speak to me that way. She didn't even realize that by making such a selfish decision, she ultimately ended our 15 year friendship. So I can sympathize with how hard this must be for you to lose your best friend at such a crossroads in both of your lives. I'm very sorry that she has betrayed you like this.

alaskancoppertop · December 2010

I would be dropping her as a friend and informing her that I will NOT be attending and I will NOT be providing the photographer for the wedding and she is NOT the MOH for your wedding. She was not only rude, inconsiderate and selfish, but when she had a second chance, she threw it back in your face and was rude AGAIN! She doesn't deserve a third chance!

InATizzy1601 · December 2010

caitybug- there is nothing selfish about wanting to have a baby, regardless of a friend's wedding. You want her to put off having a baby so that she can get drunk with you?

Here's a thought, she can still go out and not drink alcohol. Non-alcoholics do it all the time.

ljkmq3 · December 2010

My cousin's now wife got pregnant, and so they decided to get married. They decided to have a long engagement, and wait several months after the baby was born so she could lose a little weight before the big day. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding, so I know for a fact that I knew the wedding date 1 1/2 years in advance. So did her sister. And her sister decided to get pregnant anyway. She was 8 1/2 months pregnant at the wedding. ONLY in this case do I think it's appropriate for the bride to get mad, but even then the bride did not kick the bridesmaid out of the wedding! Dress fittings were tricky, but it was do-able! And the pregnant belly did not take away from the bride at all! The Bride and Groom were center of attention all day, as it should be! This is your friend being paranoid and selfish!

After everything is said and done, hopefully your friendship will be able to bounce back to where it was. Everyone has the potential to turn into a little bit of a Bridezilla. I just hope you don't regret not going. Down the road you may wish that you were at least there. On the other hand, it is across the country and I would understand why you wouldn't want to! What she did was very hurtful.

lance&robyn · December 2010

This is a really hard situation, and very hurtful for you! I think now that she got your email, and heard you crying on the phone, she realizes what she's done. Ya'll have apparently been great friends for awhile if you planned on being each other's MOHs. I agree with everyone who said you need to cool down a little before making any big decisions. I've lost two friends over the course of my engagement. They were my best friends in highschool, but that being 6 years ago, I have a different life now and picked others instead. They were furious. One wrote me a very long, hateful message...on facebook (real personal and mature). The point is, I realized how much I loved them, and how making that decision (even though it's not the same as your situation because she shouldn't have done that!) I know I have to live with losing two great long-time friends. And I would have LOVED their forgiveness. She may be feeling really bad for what she did to you (or not, you know the situation better than us). Brides do crazy and wrong things sometimes to get what they think will be the "wedding of their dreams". But they shouldn't step on their friends. But don't write her off until she's had her chance to grovel. It's amazing how being engaged can make or break friendships, and she may have just started to realize that. She may want you back and be very sorry for her bitchiness.

hwolf62307 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:9867ef58-8af0-488f-9eab-44d9e59942cf">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be tempted to go with a bottle of water in my purse and throw some on the ground in the middle of her vows and scream "Oh my God! My water broke! I'm having a baby!"
Posted by 8daysaweek[/QUOTE]

YES!! hahaaaaa

caitybug02 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:0f6a12d0-95d2-4571-9a1c-13cd5a46e807">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]caitybug- there is nothing selfish about wanting to have a baby, regardless of a friend's wedding. You want her to put off having a baby so that she can get drunk with you? Here's a thought, she can still go out and not drink alcohol. Non-alcoholics do it all the time.
Posted by InATizzy1601[/QUOTE]

wow, so anyone who enjoys going out and drinking with their friends is an alcoholic? hmmm, ok.

i don't WANT her to put off having a baby. what i WOULD like, is for her to WANT to participate in my wedding activities. what she is saying, by telling me she wants to be pregnant at my wedding, is that she doesn't really care to. i don't know where you're from, but here in the midwest, wedding festivities heavily revolve around toasting drinks and letting loose.

SuperBusyBride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:07231f56-541c-48f6-beb0-2b16d151f1a1">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin's now wife got pregnant, and so they decided to get married. They decided to have a long engagement, and wait several months after the baby was born so she could lose a little weight before the big day. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding, so I know for a fact that I knew the wedding date 1 1/2 years in advance. So did her sister. And her sister decided to get pregnant anyway. She was 8 1/2 months pregnant at the wedding. ONLY in this case do I think it's appropriate for the bride to get mad, but even then the bride did not kick the bridesmaid out of the wedding! Posted by ljkmq3[/QUOTE]

Are you suggesting that it is, at any time, appropriate for a bride to be to ask that any couple NOT have a baby for the sake of their wedding?? If so, that is ridiculous.
Even if I knew my BFF's wedding date 5 years in advance, if my husband and I became ready and able and desired to have a baby when the wedding planning roled around, we would. And to expect otherwise from anyone is beyond selfish.

InATizzy1601 · December 2010

No, not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. But anyone who believes there is no way to enjoy a night out without getting hammered might be...

Think about this at it's most basic level. You want her to postpone having a baby (which is clearly not as easy as she'd hoped since it's taking a while to get pregnant) so that she can get drunk with you.

You don't think that sounds ridiculous. Pregnant people are not suddenly disabled. My SIL ran 2 marathons pregnant.

hwolf62307 · December 2010

... you should copy/paste all of these responses into an email to her ...

and you absolutely should not be paying for her photographer. like a few others said ... just tell the photographer the situation and ask if you can have the shoot. Maybe a newborn shoot of the beautiful baby, if you don't want a pregnant one.

One of my bridesmaids might be pregnant for my wedding, and we chose dresses knowing that that was a possibility incase she was. Your bridesmaids/maid of honor are there for you because of their significance in your life, not to sit there and make you look prettier than them. So ... as far ask the question goe of her as your maid of honor ... is she as significant to you as she was before all of this happened? because if she's not ... then (i think) she shouldn't be up there with you. But if she is, than (i think) she should.

good luck!

Manwaithiel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:e6bd0a82-2519-4f65-99b4-0ce419a9d8a8">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually have a bridesmaid in my wedding who will be about as far along as you when my wedding roles around. She was nervous to tell me because I asked them all to hold off on getting pregnant as much as possible...not because I cared that they were pregnant because that is an exciting time in ones life, but because I didn't want them to spend money on a dress that wouldn't fit. When my friend told me she was pregnant she was almost in tears when she told me and she said that she understood if I didn't want her in it. Is she crazy??? I told her that I wanted her to be in it, but I didn't want her to spend money on a dress that didn't fit. She said "is that all"? She said that she wasn't worried about that...apparently they have baby bumps to try on with dresses to get an idea of what size you will be approximately at David's Bridal (I thought this was hilarious). Point being that if they are a true friend they will not kick you out! Regardless of anything that goes on she will be the center of attention and she should not worry about that piece. <strong>On the reverse side I also had a friend who was just having a baby around the time that dresses had to be tried on so I didn't feel like she would know what size she would be and I didn't want her to have to worry about it so I spoke to her about the situation and she is doing a reading in my wedding.</strong>. which I think is way more important than helping you the day of. At least she is still in and a part of my day. All I can say is I am soooo sorry that this situation happened to you.
Posted by hb212001[/QUOTE]

I would have been hurt if you did this to me and there's no way to know if you're friend is actually hurt.

You shouldn't say anything. Why couldn't she have just bought a dress off the rack in a similar color?

InATizzy1601 · December 2010

I'm from Chicago caitybug and I agree that it does revolve around alcohol. However, you can still go out and have fun without it. My MOH is hoping to be pregnant or have a newborn at my wedding. I hope she is because her and her husband have wanted a baby since they got married 3 years ago but have been waiting because of school/career. I would not DARE to suggest she put it off for my one party. That's ridiculous.

SuperBusyBride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:3d8d3790-dd5f-414f-8a0b-d5e1b50f81b3">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : wow, so anyone who enjoys going out and drinking with their friends is an alcoholic? hmmm, ok. i don't WANT her to put off having a baby. what i WOULD like, is for her to WANT to participate in my wedding activities. what she is saying, by telling me she wants to be pregnant at my wedding, is that she doesn't really care to. i don't know where you're from, but here in the midwest, wedding festivities heavily revolve around toasting drinks and letting loose.
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]

Caity, I see what you're TRYING to say, but by agreeing with a really stupid previous post, your message became lost.
What Caity is saying is that it is not right for a MOH/BM to become pregnant BECAUSE of a wedding, not despite a wedding.

Manwaithiel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:2df9a7ec-744d-44eb-97a7-19ea1f3a4a61">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : I agree with this post. I have a BM who is trying to get pregnant, knowing that my wedding is in June. She's been trying to get pregnant for a few months now. When she told me about it, had she gotten pregnant right away, she would have been nine months pregnant at my wedding. Now I am all for my friends having babies, more power to them. But to PLAN to be pregnant at a friends wedding, I think is a bit selfish. I was in this girls wedding, along with her EIGHT other BMs and if I hadn't been able to participate in the events that usually revolve around alcohol, I couldn't have slept with myself. She is one of my best friends, I wanted to make sure she had a bachelorette party that she'd never forget, it was important to me because I know it was important to her. I was the only BM to hang out all night. Everyone else went home. I have FOUR BMs. If the roles were reversed, I just can't imagine actively pursuing a role in her wedding, that left me sitting on the sidelines. I am going to remember these festivities for the rest of my life, do you think in 10 years she's going to say "oh thank GOD we didn't wait that 6-9 months to start getting pregnant, having this baby immediately was WAY more important." It's hurtful that I put forth all this effort to actively participate in her wedding activities and she is saying that our 12 year friendship isn't important enough to wait a few months so she can actively participate in mine. I should add, If she was already pregnant when I asked her or it just happened, I would feel very differently.
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]

If you think weddings are so important that people need to put their lives on hold for them, then you have some serious priority issues.

ShannonG2010 · December 2010

I'm so sorry that your "friend" said those things to you! I have two bridesmaids who are attempting to get pregnant. One of them came to me worried because she would be approximately 9 months pregnant if all went as planned on my wedding day. My plan was to give her a chair during the cermony and let her sit if needed because I want her to be a mom and I want her at my wedding! I think you did a good thing by letting her know exactly how you feel!

rzibby18 · December 2010

That is not what friendship is about at all!

I have a bridesmaid who is going to be 7 months prego at my wedding. She told me right off the bat if I wanted to pick someone else to stand up at my wedding she wouldn't be hurt just because she doesn't know if she'll be on bedrest or what not. And as soon as she told me that without hesitation i told her if she can't be there there is no way I'm just picking a filler to take her spot. She is one of my best friends I wouldn't think about replacing her for anything. That is what true friendship is all about.

I have 4 of my best friends standing up at my wedding with the potential for 3 out of the 4 to be prego come the big day!! 3 are trying and 1 has succedded so far. I am not worried about any of them having an "Attention Belly" (that's a horrible thing to say by the way). Everyone is there to see me and my FI on our day, they all know me, not my bridesmaids.

If I were you I would kick this friend to the curb without any hesitation. Or you can just hope she gets prego right after her wedding so you can kick her out of your wedding too. Karma's a bitch!

Manwaithiel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:2f669915-3313-41b9-83b8-5bd84060b77c">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]No, not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. But anyone who believes there is no way to enjoy a night out without getting hammered might be... Think about this at it's most basic level. You want her to postpone having a baby (which is clearly not as easy as she'd hoped since it's taking a while to get pregnant) so that she can get drunk with you. You don't think that sounds ridiculous. Pregnant people are not suddenly disabled. My SIL ran 2 marathons pregnant.
Posted by InATizzy1601[/QUOTE]

You are a wise person. Would you please stick around and post on these boards more regularly?

JenJaylaJeremy · December 2010

I think you need to understand her wishes as the Bride and cherish your friendship. My fiance just lost a friend of over 20 years because we chose to only have three groomsmen/bridesmaids and he wasn't picked. He told my fiance he never questioned their friendship until now and I just think it is very SELFISH for anyone to get upset over a very difficult decision the Bride and Groom have to make. At the end of the SPECIAL day, it's the Bride and Groom that matters.

bablingbrooke · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:a9fbc04a-4253-413b-a192-00333e8daeb3">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you need to understand her wishes as the Bride and cherish your friendship. My fiance just lost a friend of over 20 years because we chose to only have three groomsmen/bridesmaids and he wasn't picked. He told my fiance he never questioned their friendship until now and I just think it is very SELFISH for anyone to get upset over a very difficult decision the Bride and Groom have to make. At the end of the SPECIAL day, it's the Bride and Groom that matters.
Posted by JenJaylaJeremy[/QUOTE]
NO. NO. NO.

Manwaithiel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:a9fbc04a-4253-413b-a192-00333e8daeb3">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you need to understand her wishes as the Bride and cherish your friendship. My fiance just lost a friend of over 20 years because we chose to only have three groomsmen/bridesmaids and he wasn't picked. He told my fiance he never questioned their friendship until now and I just think it is very SELFISH for anyone to get upset over a very difficult decision the Bride and Groom have to make. At the end of the SPECIAL day, it's the Bride and Groom that matters.
Posted by JenJaylaJeremy[/QUOTE]

Oh she's a capital B word alright, but it sure ain't "Bride".

ETA: Your situation is not even remotely similar. Apples and Oranges and all that.

tidetravel · December 2010

PSA TO BRIDES:

You may think that your wedding is ZOMG, THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE, EVAR!!! but, it won't be. A fun, memorable one, yes. But, there's absolutely no reason to think that you'll remember, or care about, your bridal shower or your bachelorette party or your engagement party, if you are lucky enough to have them at all.

Newsflash: prewedding parties are not required to be thrown for you, nor are your bridesmaids expected to attend any or all of the events. And, yes... some of your friends won't be able to make it, for whatever reason; money, distance, work, family, babies, etc. It's doesn't mean that they don't love you or care about your wedding. It just means that they have lives, like everyone else, and their lives don't stop because YOU'RE getting married.

Now, I'm sure that I've probably wasted my breathe, since that probably went in one ear and out the other.

hwolf62307 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:2df9a7ec-744d-44eb-97a7-19ea1f3a4a61">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : I agree with this post. I have a BM who is trying to get pregnant, knowing that my wedding is in June. She's been trying to get pregnant for a few months now. When she told me about it, had she gotten pregnant right away, she would have been nine months pregnant at my wedding. Now I am all for my friends having babies, more power to them. But to PLAN to be pregnant at a friends wedding, I think is a bit selfish. I was in this girls wedding, along with her EIGHT other BMs and if I hadn't been able to participate in the events that usually revolve around alcohol, I couldn't have slept with myself. She is one of my best friends, I wanted to make sure she had a bachelorette party that she'd never forget, it was important to me because I know it was important to her. I was the only BM to hang out all night. Everyone else went home. I have FOUR BMs. If the roles were reversed, I just can't imagine actively pursuing a role in her wedding, that left me sitting on the sidelines. I am going to remember these festivities for the rest of my life, do you think in 10 years she's going to say "oh thank GOD we didn't wait that 6-9 months to start getting pregnant, having this baby immediately was WAY more important." It's hurtful that I put forth all this effort to actively participate in her wedding activities and she is saying that our 12 year friendship isn't important enough to wait a few months so she can actively participate in mine. I should add, If she was already pregnant when I asked her or it just happened, I would feel very differently.
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]

Should one put a hold on their family planning because their friend is getting married? i get the concept, and it'd nice when friends do put a hold on their family planning for other people, i suppose ... but when it really comes down to it, it shouldn't be about that. So a bridesmaids dress needs to be altered, who cares? they are still up there with you showing their support and love.

also, the poster of this original message said that she was pregnant when the bride asked her to be a bridesmaid ...

caitybug02 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:93d52c14-12ed-45ab-a67b-1e51b71b8d59">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm from Chicago caitybug and I agree that it does revolve around alcohol. However, you can still go out and have fun without it. My MOH is hoping to be pregnant or have a newborn at my wedding. I hope she is because her and her husband have wanted a baby since they got married 3 years ago but have been waiting because of school/career. I would not DARE to suggest she put it off for my one party. That's ridiculous.
Posted by InATizzy1601[/QUOTE]

did I EVER say that i asked her not to be pregnant or asked her to step down from her post as a BM? I never said that because it never happened.

what I DID say, was that my feelings are hurt and that I would never dream of planning to be pregnant for her wedding festivities.

Manwaithiel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:9c05f753-c4d2-43dd-9fda-6c279f794855">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : did I EVER say that i asked her not to be pregnant or asked her to step down from her post as a BM? I never said that because it never happened. what I DID say, was that my feelings are hurt and that I would never dream of planning to be pregnant for her wedding festivities.
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]

Well good for you, but you have no right to be upset about it or be hurt by it because it is soooo none of your business.

bablingbrooke · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:9c05f753-c4d2-43dd-9fda-6c279f794855">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : did I EVER say that i asked her not to be pregnant or asked her to step down from her post as a BM? I never said that because it never happened. <strong>what I DID say, was that my feelings are hurt and that I would never dream of planning to be pregnant for her wedding festivities.</strong>
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]
That = completely out of whack priorities. It's a freaking series of parties that you won't care about as soon as the wedding comes and goes. Stop acting like these are life-or-death situations. If they are to you, you need to take a pottery class or something because you don't have enough going on in your life if you place this much importance on these parties. Fo realz.

caitybug02 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:6c76d068-f81a-474c-82b6-16b5e214a7e7">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : Should one put a hold on their family planning because their friend is getting married? i get the concept, and it'd nice when friends do put a hold on their family planning for other people, i suppose ... but when it really comes down to it, it shouldn't be about that. So a bridesmaids dress needs to be altered, who cares? they are still up there with you showing their support and love. also, the poster of this original message said that she was pregnant when the bride asked her to be a bridesmaid ...
Posted by hwolf62307[/QUOTE]

honestly? yes, i think a good friend WOULD put family planning on hold, as long as the wedding isn't insanely far in advance.

I have seen many people post on here that they asked their BMs not to get pregnant, I haven't done anything remotely close to this and yet I am getting trouble for my post? I never asked her not to get pregnant. I would never say that to anyone. However, I DO think it's an unsaid thing, out of courtesy for the friend who has asked you to participate in "the most important day of their life." I guess I see being a BM as one of the most honorable things you could offer a friend. If it isn't important enough to you to be 100% present, than that's your perogitive. For me, that's what I felt my responsibility as a BM was.

I know what the original poster said, I guess I should apologize to her for getting off track, we ARE still talking about pregnant BM's though, aren't we?

InATizzy1601 · December 2010

Exactly manweithiel, the fact that you think she is being selfish is ridiculous!

Think about it this way, what if she said to you, she really wants to enjoy her pregnancy and the showers, planning, etc that go along with it. Could you please postpone your wedding until after the baby is born?

Pretty ridiculous isn't it? You say you will remember these events your entire life, well, she will remember her pregnancy as well. YOU GET ONE DAY! And even then, you don't get to be a total B on it.

The priority should be the marriage, not the wedding and all the fun parties that go along with it. That's just a bonus.

SuperBusyBride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:dedb2221-909a-4d4a-927d-619d3c0712a2">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : That = completely out of whack priorities. It's a freaking series of parties that you won't care about as soon as the wedding comes and goes. Stop acting like these are life-or-death situations. If they are to you, you need to take a pottery class or something because you don't have enough going on in your life if you place this much importance on these parties. Fo realz.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

AfreakinMEN

bablingbrooke · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_kicked-out-pregnant-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2e59173-01e0-44f5-86aa-838e6bb8a003Post:99e4a463-b291-4983-b07a-c4d6d731bd45">Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid : h<strong>onestly? yes, i think a good friend WOULD put family planning on hold, as long as the wedding isn't insanely far in advance. </strong>I have seen many people post on here that they asked their BMs not to get pregnant, I haven't done anything remotely close to this and yet I am getting trouble for my post? I never asked her not to get pregnant. I would never say that to anyone. However, I DO think it's an unsaid thing, out of courtesy for the friend who has asked you to participate in "the most important day of their life." I guess I see being a BM as one of the most honorable things you could offer a friend. If it isn't important enough to you to be 100% present, than that's your perogitive. For me, that's what I felt my responsibility as a BM was. I know what the original poster said, I guess I should apologize to her for getting off track, we ARE still talking about pregnant BM's though, aren't we?
Posted by caitybug02[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's crazy and I can't believe that's really your POV. You're allowed to have a life as a BM and have sex as a BM and, yes, even unprotected sex as a BM. You are allowed to PLAN to get pregnant as a BM. You don't sign away any more than one day of your life as a BM. Get it? Pottery class. Now.<div>
</div><div>And OP posted this thread like 3 weeks ago and hasn't checked for responses in like 2 weeks. This was a dead thread before TK put it in the email. This is a waste of everybody's time.</div>

InATizzy1601 · December 2010

"yes, i think a good friend WOULD put family planning on hold, as long as the wedding isn't insanely far in advance. "

This is the truly messed up thing. This is what you need to reexamine. How old are you?

kicked out pregnant bridesmaid

Re: kicked out pregnant bridesmaid

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