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acluster
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Can you kick out a groomsman...?
My fiance and I were engaged in September 2009, with our wedding to take place next June. We asked our wedding party early, and all are who we (thought) were our nearest and dearest friends. One of my Fiance's Groomsen has been nothing but trouble and even a terrible friend ever since... it started with him complaining that he wasn't asked to be the Best Man, and from there, he has done things that range from flakey to hurtful....Now about 3 months ago he met someone and has become engaged himself. He is rushing to get married before us, and along the way is plucking ideas we have worked long and carefully to select. We've tried to talk to him about him and he has apologized for his behavior but a week later was right back to it...I'm frustrated, as is my fiance and both of us want to ask him to no longer be a part of our day. The BIG hitch is that we are also friends with the rest of his family...I adore his sisters and want them at the wedding....I am at an utter loss as to what to do. HELP.
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Re: Can you kick out a groomsman...?
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Who cares if he gets married before you? Why does that matter? You should see it as a compliment that he likes your ideas so much that he wants to use them for his wedding.
[QUOTE]My fiance and I were engaged in September 2009, with our wedding to take place next June. We asked our wedding party early, and all are who we (thought) were our nearest and dearest friends. One of my Fiance's Groomsen has been nothing but trouble and even a terrible friend ever since... it started with him complaining that he wasn't asked to be the Best Man, and from there, he has done things that range from flakey to hurtful....Now about 3 months ago he met someone and has become engaged himself. He is rushing to get married before us, and along the way is plucking ideas we have worked long and carefully to select. We've tried to talk to him about him and he has apologized for his behavior but a week later was right back to it...I'm frustrated, as is my fiance and both of us want to ask him to no longer be a part of our day. The BIG hitch is that we are also friends with the rest of his family...I adore his sisters and want them at the wedding....I am at an utter loss as to what to do. HELP.
Posted by acluster[/QUOTE]
The stuff you've listed is no reason to kick him out ... him complaining about not being Best Man is childish, but not awful. Being mad at him for marrying first is just shallow and childish of you and your FI. Marrying first is not a crime.
What did he do that you didn't mention that's supposedly so horrible? If this is the worst of his offenses, then you'd be very wrong to boot him. If he was abusive to you guys then that would change my answer, but being whiney and rushing to get married is not an awful thing.
Plus, if you boot him (especially over stupid crap like this), that's probably the end of your relationship with his sisters. Suck it up, ignore his childish behavior, require nothing more of him than to get the tux and show up to the ceremony, and leave it be.
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To clarify, we are ALL friends, and have been for quite sometime. He and my FI are also business parteners. His latest offense is leaving an important client in the lurch and thus losing us quite a large account.
I understand that the "stealing wedding Ideas" seems very petty, lol. Though it still irks me, I do aknowledge the pettyness.
You can't control his actions. You can only control how you respond to what he does.
And finally, I ditto the other posters who said this isn't your problem. This is between your FI and his friend. If he has a problem with him, he handles it.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
[QUOTE]He and my FI are also business parteners. His latest offense is leaving an important client in the lurch and thus losing us quite a large account.
Posted by acluster[/QUOTE]
That seems like more of a professional thing than a friendship-related thing. I have plenty of friends that I love dearly, but I'd never trust them in a business setting. Not because they're bad people, but because they have no business sense or dedication. Doesn't mean I can't hang out with them and have fun.
Plus, I can't imagine that booting him from the wedding party would make for a pleasant working environment. And assuming this screw-up at work was an accident, imagine what he might be prone to do if he was mad at your FI for something?
I could support kicking him out (and getting out of business with him) if he punched your FI, groped you, stole money from you, verbally insulted either of you to your faces, etc. But being flakey isn't really a good reason to boot him, especially if he's always been flakey. I can't imagine that he was a fantastic and responsible guy before you got engaged, then all of a sudden turned into a monster once you asked him to be a groomsman. Weddings tend to bring out the best/worst in people (either that or you just happen to notice their flaws more because you're expecting more from them), but they usually don't make them do a complete 180.
As far as everything else, I'd just suggest not relying on him for anything (nothing major, anyway), and your FI should be extra-careful with him at work. Back up important documents, keep tabs on him regarding the company's finances and clients, etc.