Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why
I would never leave children out of any event, party, or wedding. My opinion, of course. I was in fact taken aback when I was told by my only cousin's bride that my children, were not invited to their wedding. I was in fact planning on leaving my then 3 year old with a sitter (we had to travel to that wedding), but my 5 month old at the time, I had to bring him (I was breast feeding). Needless to say, we did not go to the wedding.
Then on the other hand, I had my second child 2 days before my nephew got married. He came early, at 35 weeks. My nephew called me while I was in the hospital, and I told him I guess we would miss his wedding. Him and his bride insisted that we come, and his bride actually horded my son most of the reception! Bride said over and over when people asked if she was mad that the baby stole her spotlight. She said "Uh hello, I am in the white dress. No spotlight stealing here!".
So I was wondering, Kids or no kids for the brides to be here, and why the decision?
Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why
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[QUOTE]We invited kids. We like kids, and all the kids we know are well behaved - I can't imagine we would be interested in socializing with people who didn't raise their children the way we're planning to raise ours (I guess the exception would be if those people were family, so we're lucky there).<strong> To us, weddings are about community and family, regardless of age.</strong> I think the kids at our wedding ranged from 4-18, with most being between 8 and 12.
Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]
Exactly my thinking krizzo. That is why I get so baffled by the whole "no kids" thing.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why :<strong> If you know it is not proper, why are you doing it?</strong> Address the invite to the people who are invited, if people RSVP for their uninvited kids, call them apologize for the confusion, and explain that the invite wasn't meant to be extended for the kids.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
Liatris I was thinking the exact same thing. That is kinda...WOW.
We had to pay for the wedding ourselves, and quite a few of our guests had 3-4 kids (We both come from large Catholic families). We don't hate kids, but we weren't in any kind of financial situation to pick up that kind of tab.
That being said, this is my second marriage, and at my first wedding we had an adult-only reception. The venue wasn't very kid friendly, as it had a ton of stairs and hidey-holes. Also, I was very young and not very understanding of kids at the time.
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[QUOTE]We're going to invite my FI's two nephews. We are also inviting my first cousins who are still technically "kids" though they're all high school aged, so it's different. Also if there are any nursing mothers at the time of our wedding we will ask them if they want to bring their baby. We are not inviting the children of our cousins. If we had done so there would have been 10+ kids under the age of six at our wedding. If we had invited the children of cousins and friends the number of little kids invited would be something in the range of 30. I didn't want 30, or even 10+, little kids running around at my wedding. Neither did FI, so we didn't invite them. We are getting a babysitter at the hotel (which is 5 minutes from the venue) for our out of town family members who want to bring their kids with them for the weekend. They're more than welcome to bring them to the rehearsal dinner and post-wedding brunch if they'd like.
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]
For OOT guests, your making the families leave their kids? It is nice that you are letting nursing babies come though.
It was in our contract with a historic B&B that any child under the age of 16 had to be with their parent(s) at all times and any child out of the supervision of their parent(s) would immediately be taken to the adult(s) and the family would be asked to leave. Everything in the house was historic or original to the period. We scanned that page of the contract and emailed it to friends and family with children with an explanation that if they wanted to bring their little ones, these were the rules. Nobody did.
I've never understood the mentality of "kids will ruin everything!!!" I remember being left home exactly once growing up. Kids were always welcome at every wedding and we had parents who made damn sure we behaved.
Wow, lots of brides shun kiddos! LOL Instead of putting no kids, would anyone let the parents make the decision to bring the kids or not?
Now that my kids are older, I leave them home most of the time, by choice. I think I would be pretty mad or insulted if someone made that decision for me, but I don't know. I am always for a night out without the kids!! But that is just me!
Just by inviting the kids, you're letting the parents make the decision.
There are a lot of reasons people do and don't invite children and I don't think a couple needs to make an exception for anyone. But they do need to be okay with people declining because they can't bring their kids. Not every even is for kids, and not everyone wants children at the event they're hosting.
We would just prefer to have a adults-only affair. We selected a pretty upscale venue, decor, florist, and DJ and I don't think it is the place for children. I think they would be bored. Besides, I don't really want children running around and screaming on the dance floor. I've been out to dinner with my friends with their kids, and I know from experience that that's exactly what will happen. It's just one night. If parents can leave their kids home to go out to dinner, they can leave them home to attend a wedding.
[QUOTE]We are not inviting children because I didnt want them to get in the way. We dont have children yet, so I think that played a big part in our decision. If we had kids of our own, we probably wouldve allowed children & made it a more family friendly atomsphere. Our WP & our families include a few people who like to get crazy and I didnt want children around that. The only children we are allowing are the ones that are in the wedding, or children of the wedding party (my MOH has a 3 month old baby, obv I cant ask her to leave him with someone for the entire night. If she decides to, thats fine. But, I plan on allowing her to bring him). FMIL was not happy about this decision because all of FIs cousins have young kids. She claimed that if we didnt allow children to come, nobody would come. <strong>When we told his side of the family that it was no kids, nobody said anything bad. Maybe they were thinking it, but they didnt say it.
</strong>Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]
They might be waiting to see if they want to pay the cost of a babysitter. I don't know what sittes in your area charge but in my neighborhood it is $12-15/hr.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : They might be waiting to see if they want to pay the cost of a babysitter. I don't know what sittes in your area charge but in my neighborhood it is $12-15/hr.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
That could be why, but I am not sure. I know the price of a babysitter here is way less than that. FMIL says that they only use other family members to babysit each others kids, and if everybody is at the wedding, who is going to babysit? I dont know!!
[QUOTE]Wow, lots of brides shun kiddos! LOL <strong> Instead of putting no kids</strong>, would anyone let the parents make the decision to bring the kids or not? Now that my kids are older, I leave them home most of the time, by choice. <strong>I think I would be pretty mad or insulted if someone made that decision for me</strong>, but I don't know. I am always for a night out without the kids!! But that is just me!
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]
I think shun is a bit harsh. There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to invite kids, and budget and space are a few big ones. We invited children who are part of our lives (nieces/nephews, close friends' kids) but not those we barely know (like coworkers' kids).
To the first bolded, it is never ok to put "no kids"/adults only/any other version thereof on the invitation. Some kids weren't invited - we conveyed that by addressing the envelope to those who were invited only.
To the second bolded, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I think it is unreasonable to be mad or offended that your children are not invited everywhere you are.