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Wedding Party
MeganAngela
member
Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?
Hey everyone! I searched a bit for an answer to this question, but came up empty handed. My question is: Is it alright for me as a bride to have groomsmen instead of bridesmaids? How about a mixed party of groomsmen and bridesmaids? I figure that the answer will be that I should, of course, have whoever I choose in my bridal party because it is about who really matters and not some other criteria. I just wanted to hear some ideas or words of wisdom to steel me against the inevitable blowout I'm going to experience from my very conservative, traditional FMIL. All I know is that I have a handful of life-long male friends that I would rather have standing beside me than my sweet, but less-close female friends.
And yes, I know my wedding is a little over a year and a half out, and trust me, I haven't dared to ask ANYONE to be in my bridal party yet, but this is something I have been thinking on for a bit, and I figured why not ask now while I can ponder over it than when it is actually time for me to make the decision officially. 
Thanks in advance!
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Re: Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
It's none of FMIL's business. Do you even have to tell her that you'll have male attendants? Can you just say "I have some awesome friends in my wedding party" and change the subject? If it comes up and she biitches about it, just say "Sorry you feel that way" and ignore her. Don't even fuel the fire.
Is she paying for any of the wedding? If she's really stubborn and threatens to pull her money if you don't have all female bridesmaids, be prepared to pay for that portion of the wedding yourselves.
My FI and my families are both pretty conservative (mine being from the deep south and his is from Orange Co.), but he agrees that it should be who means the most to me, not what looks more conventional. So I decided that I'm going to have three girls and two guys, and I'll have them alternate down the aisle, so it's not just a bunch of guys (mine and my FI's). Would something like that work for you? And good luck with the rest of your planning!
It's really becoming quite common to have mixed sides.
For now, I wouldn't worry about what people "expect" your WP to be. Ask who you want to be on your side. It will mean more to you and your friends.
Planning/Married Biology
I have a pic in my married bio with my bros standing with the girls, if you want an idea of how it looks.
My Planning Bio Married Bio
I'm not a newb, aka swim1011
FMIL can throw herself another wedding and have all girls anytime she wants; it's a free country!
Absolutely! Choose whoever you want in your party, it doesn't have to be gender-specific.
If it helps, I'm having my brother and sister on my side, and until recently, FH was going to have his female cousin and step-sister on his. (Step-sister can't come, unfortunately, so it's just his cousin for now.) We both pulled a switcheroo, with a bridesman and a groomswoman.
For what it's worth, I have 6 people in my bridal party, and one of them is a man. I chose him because he's one of my closest friends and was even there on the day I met my fiance. It seemed wrong to exclude him. So, I didn't.
So, I say, go for it!
I am getting married on September 18th and we are having two guys and a girl on each side. At first this caused little strife between me and my fiance because he wanted the sides to be symetrical with all girls on one side and all guys on the other (he's more traditional than me) and I refused to not have my three best friends on my side. But everything has worked out. He asked his other guy friends to be ushers. We're having all the guys stand at the front on either side and the two girls will walk down the aisle like bridesmaids and then split off to their sides.
- T
But, an easy way to solve that problem is to do what you said and just mix them up. I have several friends who had a mix and you just walk down the aisle a little differently but it turns out beautifully.
I have a bridesman on my side, along with five girls. Everyone picked on me in the beginning and voiced concerns, but after standing my ground and through the planning process, every single one of them has begun to support me...even the in-laws. Just go with what you and your groom feel are best because you never want to look back and wish you had done it differently. This is your marriage, you can't let anyone else dictate it, especially not before it even begins. I hope this helps
I'm a whopping 95 days out from my big day. Besides me and the flowergirl there is only one other female in the wedding party...TOTAL. My brother is my Man of Honor, my dear friend Maria and her husband (who is my co-worker) are in my wedding party, and my bestfriend/ex college roommate Khan, total out my wedding party. I don't care for one second what anyone thinks of it, because the ONLY thing that matters is that the people who are standing next to me the day I get to marry my most wonderful fiance are those people I know love and support me the most.
And anyone who thinks anyone different can keep their trap shut.
~Brandy :-)
ps: Cheers and best wishes for your big day! Don't stress...the only people you need to worry about making happy are you and your future husband. Repeat that mantra daily, and you'll stress a lot less.
I have also been a "groomsmaid" (stood with the groom) before. The looks on people's faces were HILARIOUS....but it worked out really great!!