Wedding Coordinator Not Responding - Advice?

LadyJ2949 · September 2011

Hi ladies,

I need some advice. I'm having a real communication issue with the wedding coordinator at my venue and I'm not sure how to handle it. Each time I contact her for something (so far it has only been for simple things like confirming our ceremony time, sending us her vendor list, etc.) it takes at least three attempts before she finally answers me (with one week waiting time between each email or call).

Nervous about all of this, I sent her another email at the beginning of this week which basically said, I know you are really busy during peak wedding season but each time I try to contact you it takes three attempts before I get a reply. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a response within a week (even if it means you don't have an answer). Then I asked her if this was a fluke or if I should expect this kind of delay going forward. Three guesses as to the result? Yep, absolutely no response from her still.

I'm really worried because I'm afraid this is indicative of what the next year of planning will be like; I don't think I can handle someone who waits three weeks to get back to me each time I need something. I'm to the point where I'm questioning whether we should cancel and book somewhere else. Our wedding is next fall so technically we have enough time to do this. We never even received, nor signed, a contract at this point but we have placed our deposit. What would you do at this point? I don't want to have a bad working relationship with her; she could really mess with one of the most important days of my life. Should I call the manager? Email her again and just deal with it? I read some reviews about her online and quite a few complain that she isn't responsive (and/or has been rude to guests) but then they also said the day of their wedding was great. Any suggestions?

sbolger17 · September 2011

I would call her and discuss your concerns. Some people are just better at calls than emails (although I HATE calling and love to just shoot off an email myself). Then once you have an honest conversation, you can go from there.

I had some vendors who were a little hard to get in touch with and they drove me insane! I'm glad I didn't have to worry about my venue; I'm not sure I would have been able to handle it.

DondadaTimes2 · September 2011

I agree, call her first and try to discuss it with her. If she doesnt answer, blows you off, doesnt get back to you within a week, or anything of that sort as far as a phone call goes I would call the manager and let him know the deal. This very much affects him/her and the business they are trying to run.

This is a huge day for you, and youre absolutely correct, its not too much to ask for a simple response. Brides have enough crap on their plate, they dont need to add a coordinator who acts as if she couldnt care less.

kevinandmonica2011 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_wedding-coordinator-not-responding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:8fccce42-cf7b-4ee5-b32a-b357ea0ffd79Post:7a538071-a143-4d1a-b27e-cb68a2ca68e7">Re: Wedding Coordinator Not Responding - Advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree, call her first and try to discuss it with her. If she doesnt answer, blows you off, doesnt get back to you within a week, or anything of that sort as far as a phone call goes I would call the manager and let him know the deal. This very much affects him/her and the business they are trying to run. This is a huge day for you, and youre absolutely correct, its not too much to ask for a simple response. Brides have enough crap on their plate, they dont need to add a coordinator who acts as if she couldnt care less.
Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]

^^This. Call her, if no response, contact her manager.

Also, do keep in mind that the farther away your wedding date, the longer of a wait it is for an acceptable response. I think one week is reasonable if your wedding is /> 3-4 months away. Once you get under the 3 month mark, you should expect emails to be returned within 3-5 days. Once you are under one month, you should receive a response within 2-3 days, ideally 1.

This is nothing official, but I think it makes sense... the farther away your date, the less "urgent" your issues are. That said, not responding at all or taking 3 weeks (if I am reading your post right... 1 email a week for 3 weeks before a response)... yeah, that's f-ing ridiculous and I would not tolerate it one bit.

I would give him/her one last chance to redeem themself with a phone call stating your concerns... don't sugar coat or beat around the bush on this one. I would follow it up with an email (so you have something in writing to show or forward to their manager)... and if no response, I would go over their head.

I think 3 weeks for a<u> response</u> (much less an answer) is completely unprofessional and would absolutely be losing faith that they will be able to handle everything approproiately on your wedding day. Good luck

vibolemily · September 2011

I'm going to guess you are booked at the same place I had my wedding. The reviews online speak for themselves - complaining to management will not help - they already know. If it is going to stress you out (as it did me) go somewhere else. You're lucky, most of the time she NEVER responded to me! On a side note, she did seem to answer my FI promptly... PM me if you want - I'll tell you exactly what it was like. All that said, if it's the same lady she really does know what she is doing and the venue is stunning. It just depends how much stress you can put up with...

LarissaB · October 2011

I had a similar experience with a venue and oddly enough too responded much better to my DH. It was a few months out so I guess I get why she wasn't quick to respond but I'm an uber planner and this was a venue my parents had picked and I had not seen so I really wanted to get a floorplan and pictures (of course my parents forgot their camera when they went :-P). I was definitely getting frustrated but then fortunately about a month before the event, I got handed over to another person (we think the original woman might have gotten fired) and she was a 1000 times better. She would respond to my emails within a few hours if not a few minutes. I totally get your frustration as once I did get someone who was responsive I wasn't as stressed.

lornarose07 · October 2011

I think PPs gave good advice, and insight. Just playing devil's advocate here, if your wedding is a year away and youre trying to confirm your ceremony time NOW, I probably would be like "wow what an anal bride." i mean, i'm very much an ocd-control freak who needs to be able to visualize all details all at once too, so I do understand your wanting to know certain things, NOW. the issue is that your coordinator obviously doesnt share that sense of planning with you. Think about how much control you like to have over things and how that will affect your wedding planning, and either prepare to accept that this particular coordinator isnt going to cater to that, or find someone else that is a better fit for you. I must say you have patience because i would have BEEN cut ties with this coordinator. IDC what the other circumstances are, more than a week is far too long to respond to an email, that's just a general communication standard as far as I'm concerned. I would also get a contract stat.

Wedding Coordinator Not Responding - Advice?

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