Wedding Party

Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?


Re: Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

  • I myself was actually a Groomslady in my friend's wedding. It was actually a huge honor to me. I felt very cared for (it came at a time where I really needed to be reminded that I was loved) and got to be a big help and support to both the bride and groom. It was a really awesome expririence for me, so I would absolutely tell you to go for it. I was the only girl, with about 5 other groomsmen, so mixing it up isn't a problem either. And maybe your groom has a close girl-friend or sister he wants on his side? That would be cool.
    I also have a more traditional family, but I am realizing that you can't please everyone at your wedding, and people in general will remember the good parts of the day and not the bad. Weddings are becoming much more of a personal expression of oneself, so I am all for it. Good luck!
  • I am best friends with a guy myself. I have decided to have him stand on my side with the girls. In my mind it just seemed right. Dont get me wrong I really second guessed my they idea for a while! When I told my immediate family that I wanted my buddy to stand by me I got an immediate "who else would you stand with??" Definally having their support helped. Also, my best friend is super close with my family. We read on here an idea of when the ceremony is over we could have my groomsman and the best man escort the mothers down the isle. I LOVE the idea of my best friend and mom walking together! Really take into consideration whats important to you, as we future brides hear often "its our wedding, do what we want." I still get weird looks when i tell pople Im having a groomsman on my side, and its hard not to second guess yourself, but I know being sorounded by the most important people in my life at the alter is what is important to me!

  • I am having my brother as my "Man of Honor." He is my best friend and has been through it all with me. There isn't anyone else I would ask. My fiance is also having one of his best girlfriends stand on his side. It is all about who you want standing beside you when get married. 
  • I agree. You should pick whoever it is you want to stand beside you on your most important day. The reason we generally pick women is because of tradition and aesthetics. It looks better having other women standing next to you. And traditionally it was to confuse evil spirits so they couldn't harm the bride.

    But! If your guy friends are your BFF, and you know they're going to help you plan and prep for your wedding, that they'll keep you from going all crazy bridezilla on everyone, than they're who should be there with you.
  • Don't worry about a "title."  We are having one of my fiance's work friends (female) stand on his side.  She's gay, and will be wearing a tux just like the guys too (her preference).  We are just using the title "wedding party" and probably a catchy phrase like "Jason's crew" or something like that to refer to "his side" of the wedding party.  IT'S THE COUPLE'S DAY!  I bet most people will think it's awesome that you do what means the most to you!
  • My brother is going to me my MAN of honor & thats it.  He's been w/me through thick & thin and there isn't anyone else I would rather have by my side on my big day.  I  say you choose the people that matter the most to you.  That's all that matters
  • I've been a groomswoman myself, and loved it!!  Do whatever you want to remember for the rest of your life.  If you want to remember you best friends beside you - choose who those people are and go with it!
  • My "Best Man" is a woman, and my FI thinks its great, even her very conservative family is ok ... I am sure the other way around would be just as awesome for you!!
  • I know of a couple of instances where both sides had a mixed bridal party (siblings in particular) and a couple more instances where the future bride intends to have a mixed bridal party.  My youngest sister has long said that her best friend will be her man-of-honor.  My fiancee and I discussed it and decided we wouldn't go that way, though we seriously considered it because we have many close friends of the opposite sex.

    However, in the end, though I do think the decision is up to you and your fiancee, there is no reason to burn bridges with the new in-laws before you've even begun the marriage. 
  • I actually have a groomslady taking in my wedding, she is really good friends with both of us but she blongs on his side.
  • My remedy for this was to ask if my male friends would be a groomsmen. That actually served two purposes: having my best friends stand with me and making each party even. I have a lot of friends I want to involve and he could probably care less as long as his friends show up some time before the reception ends. He really only has a couple people he wants to be groomsmen, and I had 2 males and 4 females I wanted, so I switched the males to his side. No one seemed put-off by the arrangement. But this wasn't in favor of having a "traditional" look. We have so much time before our wedding that a lot of things may change and I think it is completely fine to have a man in the bridal party if it's what you want.
    As for the FMIL, she will get over it. Mine is also extremely conservative and traditional, but neither of us are. We're the ones who have to live with the memory of our wedding, not her. If she had her way our first dance would be to Barry Manilow. If you let her decide who your bridal party is, where are you going to draw the line? Stand up for yourself now while you still can.
  • I am having my only Brother stand for me... as my "maid of honor"...not only is he my brother, but he is my best friend & I wouldn't have anyone else.

    I'm calling him the "Best Man to the Bride"
  • My soon to be groom is having a "bReastman" and a "bestman.  they are brother and sister and have been childhood friends.  It is very common in New Zealand, where my fiancee is from as well.  I think it you need to have people up there that support you and your new life you are about to begin.  This is not a time to give into peer pressure (or family) for that matter!  It is a different and beautiful idea.
  • My sister and my best friend were my attendants.  He got a lot of mileage out of his service as a bridesmaid during the toasts.  Our guests were practically crying he was so funny about it.  One of my best memories :-)
  • Absolutely!! Its about special people, not what gender they are! My fiance was a bridesman and he's having a good friend of ours as his groomsmaid. The more varied and special the group, the more it will reflect who you and your groom are. Good luck1!
  • I will be having a combination of bridesmaids and bridesmen. :D I think it's a great idea because they're special people in your life that you want to share your special day with. I say "GO FOR IT!!"
    ~Crystal & Dennis~
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