• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Customs and Traditions

No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?

Ok I am sure everyone has heard about this tradition no sex before you get married. Now in this modern world very few people are pure on their wedding day. So if someone is having sex with their FI how long before the wedding should you stop?
True love is the souls recognition of it's counterpart.
«1

Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?

  • Why should you have to stop?
    Lots of woman on here will vote for morning wedding day sex!
    image Anniversary
    Liatris2010mcmahontobe121
  • My fiance wants to abstain for a while before to make it more special on the honeymoon.  I'd say a month wouldn't be asking too much.
  • Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?
    True love is the souls recognition of it's counterpart.
  • We were together until about 2pm on the wedding day, when we separated to go get ready.  I don't really get the whole "abstinence will make it more special" thought process.  The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
    Sugargirl1019mcmahontobe121spockforprez
  • I seriously side-eye a lot of the "bad luck" superstitions.  It's all a bunch of malarkey.  I'd like an informal poll of all the causes of divorce just to see where "seeing the bride before the ceremony" would rank.  

    I saw my H on the morning of the wedding.  Before leaving to the salon, I curled up next to him, kissed him on the neck and told him I couldn't wait to be his wife.  It was actually very sweet. 
  • id like to see that poll to bbyckes!
    image Anniversary
  • I don't understand 'taking a break.' Seems ridiculous if you've already been sexing. I also don't see how it's "more special"....you can have it every night of the week and change it up so it's always special.

    /shrug. To each their own. I just laugh at the idea!
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:7ce42a61-e580-4ca2-b477-90f9ffd52fe8">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance wants to abstain for a while before to make it more special on the honeymoon.  I'd say a month wouldn't be asking too much.
    Posted by livelaughlove88[/QUOTE]

    Mine too.  What is it with these guys!??!?!?  Seriously!!

    OP, if you decide to go this route, I would experiment a little in the months beforehand.  Not to get too personal here but some women start to tighten up if they've gone without for a while and the first time back is pretty uncomfortable.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
    Watkin2017
  • I think abstaining to make it "more special" is goofy.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:c8ebff6c-e086-4c99-98cf-57f185e7612c">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?
    Posted by FutureMrsHafer[/QUOTE]

    Do you REALLY think that?

    Personally, this might be TMI, but not having sex for a while makes me want to have it even less. So we won't be abstaining. We live together.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • No abstaining here, but we will be sleeping apart for a few nights before.  I have a ton of things to do in those few days and since we don't live full tinme together, I'll be at my house and he at his.
    image. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:10fd49a2-749e-4cfc-82f4-eda139233aa7">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We were together until about 2pm on the wedding day, when we separated to go get ready.  I don't really get the whole "abstinence will make it more special" thought process.  <strong>The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.</strong>
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    <div>HAHAHAHAHAHA!</div>
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I like the idea of not seeing each other on the wedding day, not because it's 'bad luck', but I want that 'wow' factor of the first time he sees me to be walking down the isle.  As for not having sex...the only reason we won't be (and only the night before) is because we will be sleeping apart.  It's going to be special on your wedding night anyways because it will still be your first time having sex as husband and wife.  I personally see no need to abstain for any period of time (if you are already having sex) just to make it 'seem' more special.
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:c8ebff6c-e086-4c99-98cf-57f185e7612c">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?
    Posted by FutureMrsHafer[/QUOTE]

    I think the custom actually originated in the days of arranged marriages, when the groom could only see the bride at the altar so he couldn't change his mind...so it's more of a "don't see the groom before the wedding so he won't run off on you."
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    [Deleted User]
  • I'd say that the only reason we abstained the night before the wedding was that we were sharing our bed with our dog and a friend's dog.  Wink
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:7b05c27e-b82e-4a7a-b3c5-bba8dddf7b68">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Personally, this might be TMI, but not having sex for a while makes me want to have it even less. So we won't be abstaining. We live together.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ditto!</div><div>I think it's pointless to stop having sex. If you've already done it, Why stop??? </div><div>Obviously your wedding night will be special... 

    </div>
    image
  • Um, not having sex before the wedding isn't a tradition, it's a moral code.  If you're having sex now, it clearly isn't your moral code, so why on earth would you stop?
    Married 10/2/10
  • I don't understand taking a break from it either.. if you've already been having sex, what difference does it make if you stop? Humans are very sexual beings and the release is a stress reliever. I would much rather enjoy that bond and release with my man than for him to be doing it on his own. As far as seeing each other before the wedding, I also don't understand that. We woke up together at our place and separated for the day until our private reveal. The private reveal was one of the most tender and romantic moments of the whole day which I enjoyed so much better than him seeing me for the first time with 200 eyes on us.
  • Also, not having premarital sex is really very uncommon throughout history and other societies. It's only been a part of western society since about the Victoria era. Other cultures think we're nuts.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • We'll be taking a break, it will give us something to anticipate for that night and add a little more excitement :) While some people seem to think its a ridiculous idea, they are also NOT in your relationship, so by all means do what the 2 of you want :)
  • It's also worth remembering that over half of couples do NOT have sex on their wedding night.  It's a long and exhausting day, chances are you'll just be too tired.  We had sex the morning of the wedding, and not again until a couple of days later.  So pinning all of your hopes on your wedding night is a bad idea for more reasons than one.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • I agree that it's rare for one or both of the couple to be a virgin on their wedding day but as for taking a break from sex for a while before getting married, I get that. I think it's just really sentimental and for me, the reason that it makes it so special, is that you're supposed to be super excited for your wedding night. It's supposed to be this amazing, new frontier; this big adventure ya'll are undertaking together. Even if a couple is having sex already, taking a break makes you miss it all the more (absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes?) and really heightens the emotional aspect when you get to finally make love as husband and wife.
  • FI wants to abstain for a short period of time, me, not so much. We've got 5 weeks to go and haven't yet stopped. I think the week or two leading up to the wedding we won't be having sex simply because I work nights, don't live with him, and between work, family arriving from out of town, and last minute things we're not going to be alone very much if at all.

    I think it's totally a personal preference. If abstaining makes you anticipate the night more or enjoy it more, go for it! If it makes no difference, there's no point in stopping.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I am opting for the morning of wedding sex because I know by the end of the day, we will both pass out! 

    We discussed this way before we moved in together - sex is not a requirement for our relationship, it is a bonus.  What is important to both of us is that we love each other, are committed to each other, and we are together.  Neither one of us pressures the other to ever have sex - if we do, we do, and if we don't, we don't! 
    Anniversary
    spockforprez
  • To each their own, especially when it comes to something as personal and unique as sex. Everyone is different. If abstaining will make it special, then do it! If you want sex before the wedding, then do it! No biggie.
  • Yeah I think abstaining if you have already done it is silly... I am a virgin and so is my fiancee and we have decided to wait until we are married, but niether of us have ever done it before!
  • I would not give up the best stress relief we have right at one of the more stressful times in our relationships. It would seriously jeopardize my sanity to give it up before the wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:10fd49a2-749e-4cfc-82f4-eda139233aa7">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    WIN
    Married 5.6.11

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

                              image                          

                                                             
  • My sister, mom, bridesmaid and I will be staying in a hotel suite together for two nights before the wedding.  My fiance and his groomsmen will have their own room as well. Two nights of abstinence is enough.
    Scrabble high score: 531
  • We're taking a break from sex for the two weeks before - only because we've been apart for that amount of time or longer in the past since he's in the military and the first time after taking a break absolutely IS more special/better to us.  That's us though - if it won't be any more special for you, then don't!  We're not doing it for any silly reasons like mimicing virginity or anything... it's just more special to us that way.  To each their own, of course. :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Link to Wedding Blog!
    DIY Brides - there are some AMAZING ideas on craftster.org! If you end up over there, look me up: screenname is Haylie. :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards