Dealbreakers

Habs2Hart · July 2012

Some of the most successful people I know do not have post secondary education. Some people have people and business smarts without it and make huge successes of themselves by jumping right into industry.

I know more unsuccessful college grads than I know high school grads.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:3d4b6ff4-b06c-492e-b4d5-bfc1352ff16f">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]For me it's less about intelligence and more about being well read. You can do that without college, and if so that's great, but having gone to (at least a good) college pretty much means you will be well read, and that's important to me.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think you have to read a whole lot to get a college degree.</div>

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:59be9092-b068-4a89-a8b1-4781540bc41c">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]Some of the most successful people I know do not have post secondary education. Some people have people and business smarts without it and make huge successes of themselves by jumping right into industry. I know more unsuccessful college grads than I know high school grads.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. Maybe it's because I live in a very rural area, but the most successful people here are the uneducated farmers or entrepreneurs.

</div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

haha Megbo I have thought of that, if people think my MOH is J; if they didn't know already what he looked like. Yay for "alternative" WPs. lol.

Habs2Hart · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:d72cc78a-31d0-47e7-b6bc-2d1918d8cfa9">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : If wanting to be with someone who cares about reading about what's going on at home and abroad makes me a snob, then I'm happy to accept that distinction.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

And college makes someone care about what's going on in the world?

dumdumfroggie · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:59be9092-b068-4a89-a8b1-4781540bc41c">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]Some of the most successful people I know do not have post secondary education. Some people have people and business smarts without it and make huge successes of themselves by jumping right into industry. I know more unsuccessful college grads than I know high school grads.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't equate success with education. I actually never said that and I'm not sure anyone else did either.</div><div>
</div><div>I value the education aspect. I think a quest for education, be it formal or informal throughout life is important. </div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

I don't care so much about the degree part, more just that they have passion for whatever it is they choose to do in life.

angelstar975 · July 2012

Musu, I do know what J looks like and when you first put up the picture, I thought, "Huh, he looks really different there." So I had to go look at another pic of J from your wedding to conclude that it was indeed not him, haha.

mkrupar · July 2012

Aaannd I posted mine as you all were hollering "no degree =/= unintelligent". To me, if you don't do anything beyond HS to learn more, it seems like you've given up on life a little.

aragx6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:a3cc6894-6a34-4c5c-8c0b-ed91cafc58fd">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : And college makes someone care about what's going on in the world?
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

You must not have read what she was quoting of mine. I was agreeing with you -- I care far less about college in general and more about how well read someone is. From my experience in college you can't graduate without reading a ton and I think that's where some of the others are coming from with their dealbreaker. Not going to college isn't a dealbreaker for me. Not being well read is.

ghowlett · July 2012

I wouldn't date someone who already had a child.

angelstar975 · July 2012

Yeah, I don't necessarily equate success with education. There are other ways to be successful, but I just found myself more attracted to college educated people. Or maybe it's just that the people I was attracted to always had a degree or were in the process of getting one. Either way, I've come to associate it as something I want.

adamar15 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:78760ec1-ac56-4153-98ab-f886d2070b97">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't date someone who already had a child.
Posted by ghowlett[/QUOTE]

OK, maybe I'm pickier than I thought. I definitely wouldn't date someone with a child.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

I'm wondering how much math and science majors (among others) have to read to obtain their degree. They have to take several standard classes for sure but I don't think college grad necessarily means well read. Just like not being a college grad doesn't make you not well read.

LeiselEB · July 2012

I feel like I could come up with a million more dealbreakers. I'm picky, it seems.

MyUserName1 · July 2012

I wouldn't be with someone who wasn't educated either. I really appreciate how much my husband loves learning. I enjoy the fact that he's educated, well read and intellectually ambitious. Just because that is important to me doesn't mean I'm a snob.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

haha yeah, Angel, its my MOH! Other than being two white guys they look pretty different IRL lol.

button6004 · July 2012

I couldnt be with someone who had no ambition. I know someone who has a college degree and is unemployed not because he cant find a job but because he has zero ambition to even try to look for one. No ambition is an incredibly unattractive thing for me.

I also can't handle anger management issues, bad hygiene, no interest in kids/pets and drug use/overuse of alcohol. Oh, and a lack of a sense of humor is a dealbreaker. I went on a date with a guy and we watched one of my favorite comedies. He didnt laugh the entire time. He was also rude to the waitress. Yes, add that, too. Dont be rude to people in "service" type jobs.

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:9fde30ea-78e0-4410-a1e2-2a51a5a0c8c9">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel like I could come up with a million more dealbreakers. I'm picky, it seems.
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm trying to think of unique to me deal breakers. Of course I want someone who doesn't force me into traditional gender roles, and lets me make choices about my body. I KNOW I have unique dealbreakers somewhere in my head.

</div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

Yeah, Rach I know what you're saying. J hates reading but is insanely intelligent in other ways besides reading and writing. Its not all book smarts that makes youe able to carry on an intelligent conversation. I mean, he is in college too so it isn't really much of a point on the other side, but still.

aragx6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:20c6bd21-85d7-40dc-87c3-bacf37705444">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm wondering how much math and science majors (among others) have to read to obtain their degree. They have to take several standard classes for sure but I don't think college grad necessarily means well read. Just like not being a college grad doesn't make you not well read.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

My FI was a physics major and had to take multiple history and literature classes as part of his gen ed requirements.

angelstar975 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:955dec2a-2ccc-4343-b000-3352c3cb63ba">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]haha yeah, Angel, its my MOH! Other than being two white guys they look pretty different IRL lol.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

Yeah, they look pretty different in pics too, but I guess I didn't know you had a MOH before so my first thought was that it must be J.

amyb140 · July 2012

I always thought I would never marry a smoker, then I fell in love with a guy who does smoke occasionally (really just when he's out at a bar). I learned to deal.

I think all the comments about not marrying someone larger than you are odd because I feel the opposite - I could never be with someone smaller than me! I would feel like a beast.

ETA: I couldn't be with someone who didn't share my religious beliefs. Also, and I know this will be unpopular here, I wouldn't want to marry someone who wanted pets. I like animals a lot, just not in my home.

LeiselEB · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:20c6bd21-85d7-40dc-87c3-bacf37705444">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm wondering how much math and science majors (among others) have to read to obtain their degree. They have to take several standard classes for sure but I don't think college grad necessarily means well read. Just like not being a college grad doesn't make you not well read.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is exactly what I was thinking. I get what you're saying now, though, Arag. </div>

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:e0e24cca-dd5e-4e09-a3df-23c16b3f3477">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't date someone that wanted kids or already had kids under the age of say, 13-14. Not going to lie, when I found out that my H didn't complete college, I was disappointed. And then I got over it b/c he was successful at what he was doing. So, yeah, I guess that wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me.<strong> I don't think I could date anyone addicted to porn...not like, looks at playboy but a true porn addict.</strong>
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

<div>That's a good one. I don't give a shiiit about a looksy here and there, but every day? That would be a problem for me.</div>

midgetthemighty · July 2012

I wouldn't date anyone who wouldn't let me hang out with my friends by myself and thought they were terrible people. Well, after ex turned crazy and I got rid of him that is.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

Put me down for the porn thing too.

And if he had few friends. Like very few. I feel that it says something about a person if they have no friends.

Annas2013 · July 2012

I couldn't date/marry:

-Someone with a child already

-Someone who smoked

-Someone who wouldn't stand up for me

-Someone who wouldn't respect my opinion on women being able to make their own healthcare decisions

musicalsunlight · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:677537f0-ec21-462f-819b-2726706bfac8">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I always thought I would never marry a smoker, then I fell in love with a guy who does smoke occasionally (really just when he's out at a bar). I learned to deal. I think all the comments about not marrying someone larger than you are odd because I feel the opposite - I could never be with someone smaller than me! I would feel like a beast.
Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

By larger I meant fat. Not like, muscular, lol. I dont want a skeletal dude either.

aragx6 · July 2012

I also think it's kind of silly to be offended by other people's dealbreakers. A lot of y'all said you wouldn't marry an atheist or a left-winger and I'm not upset that you wouldn't marry me.

Also my FI, for all intents and purposes, is fat. He's working on it, and he was from day 1, so it's not a dealbreaker to me. but I'm not surprised or bothered by the fact that it is for others.

Dealbreakers

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