to have or not to have a dinner?

brosters · February 2012

so heres the thing.... my fiance and i are the ones paying for the whole wedding. we were wanting to get married at 6pm and which will last till 630 then pictures from then till 8. and the first dance will begin as we walk into thr reception hall... then have a big buffett with good food at 1000 or 1100pm . so instead of having the usual sandwhiches and veggies we will have a decent buffett instead of having a dinner.... whats everyones thoughts about this??? Also, the cake will be served at the same time as the buffett at 10 or 11... what do we do.... we dont wanna put of 3000 for a dinner.

vicki0508 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:4cb6ec13-1b3c-44cc-b029-e898ac29a1c3">to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]so heres the thing.... my fiance and i are the ones paying for the whole wedding. we were wanting to get married at 6pm and which will last till 630 then pictures from then till 8. and the first dance will begin as we walk into thr reception hall... then have a big buffett with good food at 1000 or 1100pm . so instead of having the usual sandwhiches and veggies we will have a decent buffett instead of having a dinner.... whats everyones thoughts about this??? Also, the cake will be served at the same time as the buffett at 10 or 11... what do we do.... we dont wanna put of 3000 for a dinner.
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Are you hosting anything between the hours of 6:30 and 10? I'd be starving, and annoyed.

brosters · February 2012

no we werent planning on it... we might have little things out during 630 and 8 before we get to the hall. the bar will be open at 7 and the dj will be there too so ppl can start piling in... but if you eat befoe you come to the wedding you should be ok??? no?

vicki0508 · February 2012

I feel like the hours of 6-8 are when people expect to eat dinner. So as a guest, I would anticipate you hosting a legitimate meal.

Otherwise, you're asking your guests to eat dinner before they come to the wedding. Mosts guests will get there early, so you're essentialy expecting them to eat dinner between 4:30 and 5:00, and then have nothing but alcohol until 10. That just seems a little odd to me.

brosters · February 2012

dont people usually eat dinner between 4 and 5? and liek i said we are gonna have hors d'oevers and little stuff out before we get there from like 630 to 8 ... and then the buffett at 10... and my family drinks alot lol i dont think they will mind having alcohol only till 10... ugh i donno... we just dont have 3000 to have a dinner

vsgal · February 2012

6:00-8:00 is the dinner hour. You will need to feed people a full meal at an appropriate hour. 10:00 pm is too late to serve dinner. An appropriate timeline would be ceremony at 6:00 and ends about 6:30. Cocktail hour starts at 7:00 with you entering reception at about 7:30. You can do your first dance at 7:30. Dinner served no later than 8:00. If you cannot afford to feed your guests, you can start your ceremony at 8:00 with the reception being a cake/punch style that will end around midnight. Your other option is to cut your guestlist to an amount that you can handle.

FYI, not very many people eat dinner between 4:00 and 5:00. Most people are still working.

brosters · February 2012

1000 isnt gonna be a dinner. just late night buffett. everyone has a late ngiht buffett. we would need more than 630 to 730 for pictures... i think we are gonna go with our origianl plannn. 6 weddign over by 630 we go do pics till 745 ish. doors to the reception open at 7. dj and bar open then. we enter at 8 first dance. mother of the groom dance. father of the bride dance. then speeches... and then dance. and then buffett at 1000. or even earier at 930ish. then the rest is getting hammered time! im sure the day will run smoothly... im sure we will figure it out... thanks for the opinions. but i dont see how we can cut our list. we need everyone there, and hey who knows maybe the in laws will pitch in and maybe we will have a dinner

brosters · February 2012

we just dont get the point of wasting 3000 on food... we wanna do it the cheap way. i mean we did go all out on our rings and stufff. my engagement cost 2500 . his band was 600 and my band is 500.. but thats cause its for us and we are gonna have them forever... we arent really concerned about the whole food ordeal cause we know we will be eating before the wedding and we are more concerned about getting drunk with our family and friends. i talked to a bunch of ppl in my family and they will be ok with it. they onyl hav to wait from 6 till 9 for food... they will be fine. my dad came up with the idea cause thats what my dad and mom did.. itll be fine .. i hope lol.

jessicabessica · February 2012

If you don't want to host your guests properly (by doing things like feeding them), don't invite guests.

What part of open bar and minimal food sounds like a good idea to you? I don't think that 4-5 is when most people eat dinner, and people will be busy getting ready to attend your ceremony anyway. I would have a full buffet dinner right after cocktail hour (so 7:30/8), and then if a late night snack is super-important to you, get some pizzas and cut them up into little squares to have with the cake.

brosters · February 2012

its not an open bar.... if we dont have money for the dinner we wont have money to have an open bar lol. i dont see how we can get around this. so it is what it is and i hope my guests understand. ceremony at 6. 630-8 is pictures for wedding party. 630-8 guests arrive at reception hall, mingle , have some drinks... 8 first dance, mother of groom dance. father of bride dance. speeches. thatll be done by 9. 9 rral dance starts. and 1000 buffett comes out... itll fly by and they wont even kknow.

jessicabessica · February 2012

This plan still sounds pretty bad. If I were at your wedding, I would be expecting dinner if you started at 6, and I would need to leave to get myself some food if there was nothing but little snacks until 9 or 10. I wouldn't be dancing, and I wouldn't be buying myself drinks if I was not being fed. I say either move back your start time to 8ish or make the buffet earlier (you don't need to have a late night buffet).

brosters · February 2012

yah liek we could have buffett at 9 or something..i donno we will see. thanks ladies..

vicki0508 · February 2012

please don't be real. please don't be real. please don't be real.

Sarah5200 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:e690f3f6-2bfe-4e15-a9b4-6c80e29b0a1e">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]please don't be real. please don't be real. please don't be real.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

LOL

Chels&Jimmy · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:4cb6ec13-1b3c-44cc-b029-e898ac29a1c3">to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]so heres the thing.... my fiance and i are the ones paying for the whole wedding. we were wanting to get married at 6pm and which will last till 630 then pictures from then till 8. and the first dance will begin as we walk into thr reception hall... then have a big buffett with good food at 1000 or 1100pm . so instead of having the usual sandwhiches and veggies we will have a decent buffett instead of having a dinner.... whats everyones thoughts about this??? Also, the cake will be served at the same time as the buffett at 10 or 11... what do we do.... we dont wanna put of 3000 for a dinner.
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm sorry but this is a horrible idea. 6:30 p.m. is the normal dinner meal time. People will expect to be served dinner at that time. If I were invited to a dinnertime reception with <em>no dinner</em> I would leave. Plus, I don't understand what is the difference between having a "buffet" and having "dinner"... </div>

Viczaesar · February 2012

This has got to be the dumbest wedding plan I've ever heard of. You'll be the laughingstock of your friends and family - behind your back, of course. People will NOT have fond memories of your wedding, and there's a good chance that someone is going to get completely wasted and throw up on your dress, since you're planning on starting the booze at 7 and the food at 10.

Wedding planning FAIL.

Viczaesar · February 2012

In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner?:
[QUOTE]dont people usually eat dinner between 4 and 5? and liek i said we are gonna have hors d'oevers and little stuff out before we get there from like 630 to 8 ... and then the buffett at 10... and my family drinks alot lol i dont think they will mind having alcohol only till 10... ugh i donno... we just dont have 3000 to have a dinner
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Not unless they're 92.

Viczaesar · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:fa7cee4f-ab97-4947-930f-25fc59c8b929">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]its not an open bar.... if we dont have money for the dinner we wont have money to have an open bar lol. i dont see how we can get around this. so it is what it is and i hope my guests understand. ceremony at 6. 630-8 is pictures for wedding party. 630-8 guests arrive at reception hall, mingle , have some drinks... 8 first dance, mother of groom dance. father of bride dance. speeches. thatll be done by 9. 9 rral dance starts. and 1000 buffett comes out... itll fly by and they wont even kknow.
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Gawd. I can't stop shaking my head. THIS IS SO WRONG. If you can't afford to host guests, you don't host guests. Treating your friends and family this way is seriously effed up. If you don't want to pay for a meal, then you can't have your wedding at a meal time. Period, end of story. Either do the wedding from 2-5 pm or start the ceremony at 8 pm or later, and host light food and drinks. Anything else makes you a bad host.

LetsHikeToday · February 2012

I would leave your reception. Probably before you even got there from your hour and a half of pictures. OP- what exactly is a late night buffet? Why can't you not have that buffet and have a dinner one at a regular hour?

chrryblndchick · February 2012

Wow. Just… wow.

OP, you seriously need to stop ignoring what everyone is telling you. NINE people before me have told you this is a terrible idea and all you do is respond with “Lol, it’ll be fine, I’m going to do it anyway, this is what the plan is, etc, etc.” If you didn’t want actual advice, then you shouldn’t have posted here.

Even though it probably won’t do any good, I’ll say it again, and I’ll say it harshly so maybe you’ll actually listen. If you are having an evening wedding you need to feed people at a normal hour, NOT at 9:30-10:00. If you “can’t afford to feed everyone” like you claim then you shouldn’t be having a wedding. Period. End of story. Also, why can’t you have the buffet during normal dinner hours? Your “my parents did it and it was fine” is not a good reason. Just because someone did it before does not make it a good idea or proper etiquette.

Cash bars are rude. Again, if you can’t afford it, don’t have it.

Finally, OP find the “Shift” button on your keyboard… Got it? Use it! Reading your posts makes my brain hurt.

jessicabessica · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:e690f3f6-2bfe-4e15-a9b4-6c80e29b0a1e">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]please don't be real. please don't be real. please don't be real.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I started having those thoughts when OP came back with the, "it's ok, we spent $2500 on my engagement ring" attitude. </div>

NOLAbridealmost · February 2012

Assuming this is not MUD (which I believe it is because of the post count, the astoundingly rude nature of the suggestion, and the fact that the apparently pregnant bride just wants to get wasted with her family) my thoughts are this: OP, if I showed up to your reception and realized it was a cash bar and there was no food in the picture by 7:45 PM, I'd leave and take my gift with me.

kmmssg · February 2012

Between this and her post regarding her BM who dropped out of her wedding, I think she is a troll and this is mud.

chrryblndchick · February 2012

I'm leanign towards MUD as well, but just in case... my previous post stands.

melb2013 · February 2012

Can someone fill me in- what is MUD?

Meggiemuggins · February 2012

Made up Drama

brosters · February 2012

well this is not "mud" or whatever you guys call it. I dont have time to make things up and sit on the computer as many of you likely do... this is really what im going through and i am actually having trouble figuring out what to do. Thanks for the input and im glad your not all coming to my wedding! My guests will understand if thats what we have to do. Thanks for your input. ill be sure to fill you when when my wedding comes around

Chels&Jimmy · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:e686cb1e-ee44-4cbd-852b-4a857ffb1885">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the input and im glad your not all coming to my wedding!
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I am<em> so glad</em> I'm not coming to your wedding either! Sounds like it's going to be a complete disaster.
</div>

brosters · February 2012

and ps.. people arent going to be expecting food because on the invite it will say dance to start at 8. no where in there wil it say dinner. and im hoping when my in laws find out theres no dinner they will help pay for it if they want it

[Deleted User] · February 2012

Hmm I eat between 6pm and 7pm. If we went to a wedding and there was not food and we were expected to buy our own drinks I would leave. People would have to eat at 4:00pm in order to make it on time/early to the ceremony. Why are you taking so long to take pictures?? You should be having an afternoon wedding. Who is going to want to get drunk when there is no food around? Personally if there was no food that would = me not drinking and going home.

vicki0508 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:2d6bee5d-22cc-45ef-b633-c80f2add50ad">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]and ps.. people arent going to be expecting food because on the invite it will say dance to start at 8. no where in there wil it say dinner. and im hoping when my in laws find out theres no dinner they will help pay for it if they want it
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
If you are so broke, why are you even having this type of wedding, and how on EARTH do you expect to support a baby?

to have or not to have a dinner?

Re: to have or not to have a dinner?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards