Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding

laladypoet · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:2471d0c7-9da6-43c8-81bc-dbbc09aa0957">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]C'mon now. Not being a doormat. this woman has been my friend for years. She is just - clueless sometimes. but this hurt my feelings. I was trying to get some advice about the best way to handle it without ignoring my feelings (that is, being a doormat) and not using a poison dart (which really was one of my first inclinations). that said, your advice was otherwise helpful. skeb76
Posted by skeb76[/QUOTE]

yeah, I do give great advice. which reminds me, get a new friend.

laladypoet · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:8904397c-997e-4fcd-abc3-bb13d56cb44a">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Now since they are kind of in the same family, is a moldy towel and a wet blanket similar?
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]
egg:chicken

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:24342b94-6506-4e53-beed-e355647476a6">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding : yeah, I do give great advice. which reminds me, get a new friend.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]
But make sure they wipe their feet first, before they step on you. Mud is so hard to get out of clothes.

laladypoet · July 2010

she gave them her best clothes already, so no problem there.

skeb76 · July 2010

Well said.

baystateapple · July 2010

AmandaK reminds me of Lisa8s.

AmandaK2010 · July 2010

Seriously. Stop. You are being unnecessarily rude and mean. Personal attacks are not neccessary.

Your opinions are appreciated, personal attacks are not.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

Or Labrnr

laladypoet · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:54c1f78b-c1e8-46d0-a062-db35ef8899e2">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Well said.
Posted by skeb76[/QUOTE]
that won't do. send me a professional picture of you holding a sign saying that.

laladypoet · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:5f54d4f0-fe61-4dc6-a14c-50c40a9826db">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously. Stop. You are being unnecessarily rude and mean. Personal attacks are not neccessary. Your opinions are appreciated, personal attacks are not.
Posted by AmandaK2010[/QUOTE]
let's ask dani if we're allowed to act the way we've acted since long before you arrived here. dani?

skeb76 · July 2010

I have to at least say that you all made me laugh for the first time about this since the e mail last weekend so thanks for that. A reminder not to take everything so seriously.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:5f54d4f0-fe61-4dc6-a14c-50c40a9826db">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously. Stop. You are being unnecessarily rude and mean. Personal attacks are not neccessary. Your opinions are appreciated, personal attacks are not.
Posted by AmandaK2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Aww... aren't you the ruler-wielding nun?</div>

akhensley81 · July 2010

OP- good for you.

You're handling this much better than I would. And now you know your feelings are quite normal. This place is always good for a laugh if you have an open mind.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:6fb83336-1e2c-4fee-8ae2-1a4f270184fa">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Considering that she used the photographer's services for free, why would she not assume that she gets the photos for free?
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

This. I'm assuming she was upset because she meant to nab the pics from the website and print them herself. This photography may not even watermark his photos, based on the stellar job he's done so far. I'm really interested to know why the photography TOLD you about the request and what happened? Does that really seem professional, to involve you in this?

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:a081a490-de59-4fb4-aa62-506b5619ceb7">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]OP- good for you. :) You're handling this much better than I would. And now you know your feelings are quite normal. This place is always good for a laugh if you have an open mind.
Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]
I think AmandaK's mind is locked up tighter than a virgin in a chastity belt.

laladypoet · July 2010

I think her mom should've swallowed her.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:48e254a7-3aa7-44ca-b890-32f307047596">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think her mom should've swallowed her.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]
DED

danieliza1127 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:abf5cfac-15e7-49c6-8177-e1451be694e9">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding : No where on any of the OP's posts does it say that the photos would be free for these people. I was simply asking if anyone would assume they would get free prints of these photographs that were taken.
Posted by AmandaK2010[/QUOTE]

At the beginning of the post somewhere, she mentioned that she was going to send out some pictures as gifts and I think she insinuated that maybe she would just send the pictures to the woman. You might want to read back to see where all this is coming from. Also, try not to take things personally. Amoro and Lalalady have personality that most of us regs are used to, you can't take it too seriously.

laladypoet · July 2010

yeah, they put up with us so they can have a prime spot in heaven. we all have our crosses to bear.

Julz629 · July 2010

I'm late to this and I'm going against the grain, but I really don't have a problem with this.

I am using a photographer than several cousins have used and this will be his 4th time doing a wedding in our family. We encourage him to take whatever pictures people request and since we're buying the rights to our photos, we can make them available to anyone to download, print on their own, etc. So our family will ask him to take pictures of their family, kids, significant others, etc. Now they're not doing a full-on photo shoot, but a simple, "hey, can you get a picture of us together?"

I don't mind that our photog is doing this. I would be irked if he were missing other things going on or if they were being rude about this, but as long as it's not a disruption, I don't mind. In fact, I made sure to tell FI's family to grab our photographer if they want to get a picture taken that day.

With that being said, this is the understanding that we have with our family and our photographer. If that is not the case with you, I can understand why you are upset. And it is definitely weird for your family to call him up and ask about the pictures.

salt78 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:5f54d4f0-fe61-4dc6-a14c-50c40a9826db">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously. Stop. You are being unnecessarily rude and mean. Personal attacks are not neccessary. Your opinions are appreciated, personal attacks are not.
Posted by AmandaK2010[/QUOTE]

<div>SERIOUSLY. STOP YOU GUYS. SUPER SERIOUSLY.</div>

I Want Cake · July 2010

Ask the photographer to delete those photos entirely, off the website, off his portfolio, off his camera. He shouldn't get any extra revenue for having stepped away from you when you're the one who paid him, and those guests shouldn't get to have a copy of a photo that was never supposed to be taken. Selfishness should not be rewarded on either side of this.

But still definitely give them both an earful.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

Ditto Jhlbel

My family (& extended family) does this at weddings.. and although it may be considered rude in certain circles.. I hope my family takes advantage of my photographer! (I made sure to hire one that will be there for the entire reception and will give me rights to the photos so my family won't have to pay $5 a pop after the fact.)

I have been going through family photos recently for my sister's photo video and it saddens me to realize that my uncle and aunt were alive for my brother's wedding 3 years ago, but will not be attending mine.. but I am glad we have them captured in these pictures.

IMO, weddings are a reason for family to gather. I have a professional photographer there and I want her to capture my family. Otherwise, I would have just had my DW. (I would be pissed, however, if a couple decided to have E-photo type pictures with my photographer at my wedding.)

I do understand that .. unless this is encouraged by the hosts of the wedding.. it is completely inappropriate to do.

FutureMrsTR · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:e23dab76-1227-47d6-bd26-c6a790c11d5f">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Jhlbel My family (& extended family) does this at weddings.. and although it may be considered rude in certain circles.. I hope my family takes advantage of my photographer! (I made sure to hire one that will be there for the entire reception and will give me rights to the photos so my family won't have to pay $5 a pop after the fact.) I have been going through family photos recently for my sister's photo video and it saddens me to realize that my uncle and aunt were alive for my brother's wedding 3 years ago, but will not be attending mine.. but I am glad we have them captured in these pictures. IMO, weddings are a reason for family to gather. I have a professional photographer there and I want her to capture my family. Otherwise, I would have just had my<strong> DW. (I would be pissed, however, if a couple decided to have E-photo type pictures with my photographer at my wedding.)</strong> I do understand that .. unless this is encouraged by the hosts of the wedding.. it is completely inappropriate to do.
Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]

And since this is basically what happened, the rest of your post is pointless. Of course you want photos of your family and friends at your wedding celebrating with you, but what the OP's guest did was ridiculous.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:b559105a-56f3-424a-b7cb-aa6c4f1ef61c">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding : And since this is basically what happened, the rest of your post is pointless. Of course you want photos of your family and friends at your wedding celebrating with you, but what the OP's guest did was ridiculous.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I thought it would be okay if I went slightly off subject from what the OP posted since a dozen PPs above me went off topic too.</div><div>
</div><div>But I am not enough of a reg to do this.. so I guess I will ask permission first. lol</div><div>
</div><div>I posted my opinion about what I thought was okay and not okay circumstances to "borrow" a photographer. .. if you think my opinion was a waste of your time to read .. than o well....</div>

Lisa8888 · July 2010

I don't think this is such a big deal. I don't think the photographer should have left the reception to go outside to take photos of this woman and her family, but I don't see the problem with the taking of a quick photo of them. I know many brides and grooms who welcome the taking of photos of their friends and family. Its a nice remembrance for the bride and groom of their guests. Especially with a small wedding and an assistant present, this doesn't divert attention away from the bride and groom.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Why are people so sensitive today? Good grief.

PharmacyBride, you're being silly by saying you have to ask permission, and nowhere did TR say it was a waste of her time. She's just saying, since that IS what happened, she has a right to be upset.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:77ef0d3f-bb27-4512-a55a-f1f6ce25e27a">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Why are people so sensitive today? Good grief. PharmacyBride, you're being silly by saying you have to ask permission, and nowhere did TR say it was a waste of her time. She's just saying, since that IS what happened, she has a right to be upset.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Haha.. i was trying to be funny.. i am not very good at it ... obviously</div><div>
</div><div>i don't think i need permission and i wasn't trying to come off as pissy about it.. i was trying to be sarcastic</div><div>
</div><div>: )</div>

PharmacyBride · July 2010

I should also write that I agree with PPs that she had a right to be upset about the photos being taken outside.. that was over the top.

I thought since there was already a ton of comments about that .. that it would be redundant... but i guess you girls aren't mind readers so I should have started with that.

All i intended to say that what that guest did was rude.. but that I didn't think borrowing the photographer was always rude.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

I'm SO glad you're not being pissy because I really did think you were.

And I want your puppy. And I don't even like dogs.

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