Dealbreakers

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I can always use more tie dye.

specialk84 · July 2012

H and his best friend have a deal: if either one starts going bald, the other is to immediately go over there and shave his head. His friend has a short buzz cut now, and has for years, so I don't think he would look much different. H's family does not go bald.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

Daff, you said it bugged you. I'm sorry if I offended you also.

NuggetBrain · July 2012

Bad teeth. I can't kiss someone with bad teeth. Or even look at them. I don't know why, but they really creep me out.

mkrupar · July 2012

I don't mind a beard. I actually enjoy the roughness when H grows one. He can actually grow a full one. If it was one of those piddly beards, I'd make him shave it.

specialk84 · July 2012

Tie dye is wonderful.

Also, your H looks quite dashing in your sig. I love bow ties.

adamar15 · July 2012

Thank you Special

I for sure see more bow ties in his future. OMG TIE DYE BOWTIES. That should be my niche in the tie dye market.

seesawgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:7c12c619-ba38-489c-8a6b-8d89523788cc">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Because they always go hand in hand? I'm interested that so many people say they wouldn't date someone without a degree, especially with how the economy is. Having a college degree is most certainly not the only way to be successful nowadays.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

I'm late to this, and I haven't read through everyone's responses, so if I'm beating a dead horse, ignore me. ;) Some people just aren't cut out to go to college, and like adamar said, with the economy the way it is, it isn't always an option.
For instance, DH is incredibly smart, he scored a 34 on the ACT, and planned on going to college for mechanical engineering. 2 semesters in, he dropped out, and decided to do something different.
Now, at 25, he works for a local shipping company, doing IT, and once every quarter, they pay for him to get whatever certification he wants. airfare, hotel room, everything. They pay decently, and we have zero student loans to pay off. I would be willing to bet that we are living at least as comfortably as we would if he was making more, but had loans to pay off.
I would have really missed out on a wonderful husband if that had been a deal breaker for me.

As far as my deal breakers go.
-Being closed minded about religion/spirituality. I could never be with someone that believed you had to go to church every Sunday to worship God, or that exploring the beliefs of other religions and ways of life was "sinful", or flip side of that, didn't believe in anything, and tried to force their disbelief on me, or mock me for having faith.
-Hygiene, in every aspect. Bad breath, BO, gross fingernails, etc.
-Not having a passion for something other than me. I want my man to love me, not be obsessed about me 24/7.
-Being unintelligent. I think that the whole text speak goes with that, because I don't believe any intelligent person would talk that way in anything other than a quick text.
-Having children, but not being a good parent, or just not wanting kids at all.
-not being knowledgable about something, anything. I don't care if he can fix a car, or a computer, or is a classical pianist. As long as he knows how to do something besides surf the web.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

haha dumdum. I am SUCH a picky eater and J gets frustrated with me a lot. As do everyone else I associate with.

dumdumfroggie · July 2012

Adamar - if you would tie dye bras and underwear, I'd probably buy them from you; for the sole reason that it would make me happy to know I had a hippy look underneath my corporate work wear.

specialk84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:1ebd8357-83e9-41f0-92a3-78db9dedb5d4">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you Special :) I for sure see more bow ties in his future. OMG TIE DYE BOWTIES. That should be my niche in the tie dye market.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

<div>YES.</div>

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:cc073050-1cca-48de-81a8-b2396eddf695">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]Daff, you said it bugged you. I'm sorry if I offended you also.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
Thanks, I appreciate it.

I need a new purse. Tie dyed purse? Hmmm

seesawgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:91164a5e-9c66-4e5e-b48c-b17a30fe99eb">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure H is going to be sporting a cul-de-sac. He keeps his hair longer in the front already because his hair is receding. Totally vain deal breaker : a mustache.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Yep, mustaches are effing creepy. My friends all call them "molest-staches". *shudder*

I do love me a beard though. Thankfully, DH has a lovely soft beard. :)

ladyomnipotent · July 2012

I'm surprised that out of all the dealbreakers given so far, the one people jumped on was "educated." Nobody said boo about fat, Christian, atheist, left wing, right wing, or short. I don't get it.

Someone being uneducated would be a dealbreaker for me, and like aragx explained, that doesn't necessarily mean lacking a college degree. My fiance's stepsisters are what I would call uneducated, and one of them has a 4 year degree from the same college my fiance and I attended for our undergrad. There are plenty of people who coast through college and see it as more of a social event than anything else. These people tend to end up like my fiance's stepsisters, who never know what's going on in the world and don't care, can't formulate intelligent opinions about anything, say, "wow, you use big words," and the like. I can't respect people like that. We have human brains, and we really ought to use them.

Personally, I do assign some default value to higher education, and education in general. I don't think it's snobby at all to say that someone who completed some form of higher education and gave a damn about it is more educated than someone who stopped at high school.

ski2play · July 2012

tie die bra and undies are the bomb! Totally fun under the corporate suits.

Oooh, am I sharing too much?

Trifury2007 · July 2012

Smoking. I could not have married H if he still smoked.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:f91c960a-f9a7-4832-998a-0f24b26b0ce8">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Thanks, I appreciate it. I need a new purse. Tie dyed purse? Hmmm
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

<div>Prada and Dior both have tie dye purses. Just sayin'</div>

adamar15 · July 2012

Man I wish I had more time for tie dyeing. I'd be rich off of you guys!

But then I'd probably get banned for being a vendor.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:72dcffe8-4ca1-4116-a3f8-068916ab79dd">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'm surprised that out of all the dealbreakers given so far, the one people jumped on was "educated." Nobody said boo about fat, Christian, atheist, left wing, right wing, or short. I don't get it.</strong> Someone being uneducated would be a dealbreaker for me, and like aragx explained, that doesn't necessarily mean lacking a college degree. My fiance's stepsisters are what I would call uneducated, and one of them has a 4 year degree from the same college my fiance and I attended for our undergrad. There are plenty of people who coast through college and see it as more of a social event than anything else. These people tend to end up like my fiance's stepsisters, who never know what's going on in the world and don't care, can't formulate intelligent opinions about anything, say, "wow, you use big words," and the like. I can't respect people like that. We have human brains, and we really ought to use them. Personally, I do assign some default value to higher education, and education in general. I don't think it's snobby at all to say that someone who completed some form of higher education and gave a damn about it is more educated than someone who stopped at high school.
Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

I think because most of those are fundamental beliefs, and it would be very difficult to be with someone if you didn't share the same beliefs/values. Like I couldn't be with an atheist, I am not surprised if an atheist couldn't be with a Christian. As far as the physical traits, I get why those could be dealbreakers too, do you not?

aragx6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:ad5bc34a-0814-462b-a891-fec93d794f0a">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : I think because most of those are fundamental beliefs, and it would be very difficult to be with someone if you didn't share the same beliefs/values. Like I couldn't be with an atheist, I am not surprised if an atheist couldn't be with a Christian. As far as the physical traits, I get why those could be dealbreakers too, do you not?
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

I would consider placing an importance on education to be just as much of a core belief of mine as my (lack of) religion.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

I would be bummed if the person didn't place just as much importance on my needs during sex as their own.

seesawgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:24397ebc-b174-4bb5-8710-19d9050370a8">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be bummed if the person didn't place just as much importance on my needs during sex as their own.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

Ah, yes. Add that to my list too. Must like the sexy time.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:3f8362b3-cd05-4aa3-a329-a3ffed211a60">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : I would consider placing an importance on education to be just as much of a core belief of mine as my (lack of) religion.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

That makes sense to me.

LeiselEB · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:24397ebc-b174-4bb5-8710-19d9050370a8">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be bummed if the person didn't place just as much importance on my needs during sex as their own.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>True story. I'm kind of surprised no one brought that up until now, haha.</div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:5e6b394b-8555-4a0e-8058-8c56687d7a49">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : True story. I'm kind of surprised no one brought that up until now, haha.
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

Some people don't care that much about sex so they might not mind either way.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:24397ebc-b174-4bb5-8710-19d9050370a8">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be bummed if the person didn't place just as much importance on my needs during sex as their own.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>I lump that under selfish ;)</div>

ladyomnipotent · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:ad5bc34a-0814-462b-a891-fec93d794f0a">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as the physical traits, I get why those could be dealbreakers too, do you not?
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]
Of course I do. I just don't get why no one argued against them, because in other threads in this forum, if someone expresses some sort of negative feeling towards another person's physical appearance, they usually get jumped on pretty quickly. Heck, if someone even types the word "fat", look out.

To me, education is pretty innocuous, but other listed dealbreakers aren't. That's why I'm surprised.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

If someone tries to turn into a snot and say "well personal appearance doesn't mean bunk to me", I will punch them in the face. You don't want an ugly(to you) wife/husband.

adamar15 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:03d9f409-5c4f-42d2-ab8e-26aedb55b7d7">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Of course I do. I just don't get why no one argued against them, because in other threads in this forum, if someone expresses some sort of negative feeling towards another person's physical appearance, they usually get jumped on pretty quickly. Heck, if someone even types the word "fat", look out. To me, education is pretty innocuous, but other listed dealbreakers aren't. That's why I'm surprised.
Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

Well in other threads they're usually picking on someone's appearance or saying something stupid like fat people shouldn't eat at buffets.

calixtine · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:45c5bede-50ea-426e-b852-738fd7505ff3">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Along with that, someone who just doesn't care at all about how they look. Or cares and does nothing about it, I would guess. I<strong> also don't think I could be with someone who was a picky eater. This is mostly because I love to cook and my feelings would be hurt if they didn't like what I make.
</strong>Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

This is an ongoing arguement between H and I. He considers me a picky eater because I'm vegetarian and I don't like things like mushrooms. But I don't consider that being a picky eater for him. I'm the cook and I like to try new recipes and he ends up not liking the new stuff way more often than I do. He'll always try it but I think his palette is way more picky than mine is.

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