Snarky Brides

Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot

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Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot

  • edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:c5dfe28b-eeec-4e72-b168-400afd353b75">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]I haven't even put together a guest list! I said I wouldn't hesistate to do as my boss did. Send out an email a couple of days before the wedding and tell people to feel free to stop by for a beer. And it was on! I hadn't even heard about a tiered reception prior to that post. But now I feel I'm branded on this site - it's crazy.
    Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]
    [QUOTE]I really don't understand the reactions on this matter. I know this is a big "no-no" on the knot, but please! My boss did this and I did not feel slighted. <strong>My FI and I will not be invited all our co-workers and pub friends (at least 100 more guests!) but are inviting folks for the "party time". This is NOT an invite for a gift. But please, come have a few beers and enjoy some tunes.</strong> In the past, as a guest of this sort, I'll often bring a bottle of wine. I guess us midwesterns are just not so uptight...Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]
    [QUOTE]Yup, we won't see eye-to-eye on this one. <strong>It's an invite</strong>, and should you find it rude, fine, don't show up. Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]
    [QUOTE]<strong><font face="Calibri"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><font color="#000000">However, I will be doing a “tiered” reception despite the visceral reaction this gets</font></span></font></strong><font color="#000000"><strong><span style="font-family:Wingdings;font-size:10pt;"><span>J</span></span></strong><span style="font-size:10pt;"><font face="Calibri"><strong>.</strong> I haven’t thought it rude as a guest and don’t feel I will be creating some sh#t storm among my friends – just knotties. I’ll let you all know later if you’re right.</font></span></font>Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]<font color="#000000"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><font face="Calibri"> </font></span></font>
    So, where was the part where you weren't doing a tiered reception? That's what this is called, regardless of whether you send word by email, text, or carrier pigeon. Why are you so vehement about denying this? No one is going to change their opinion at this point in time.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I said one thing - and that's all anyone focuses on. I'm not pandering, I'm not asking for acceptance or validation. I was hoping to be part of the discussion, seems that's impossible if I do one thing that is considered "rude".

    And Blueyed228 I can't believe these girls have convinced you 7K for an open bar is a necessity! Norms do change and if this is the culture of your community I say be true to your guests. They  love you no matter if they get 2 hours of bar time or not. I realize I have no one in my corner at this time, so take it for what it's worth.
  • 1) Does telling some one they are doing something rude on here = being a bitch to some one? Absolutely not. Sometimes I think some answers are lacking in tact; however the vast majority of opinions are typically very sincere regardless of bluntness!

    2) Is this or is this not part of the point of consulting other brides on wedding ideas? You're d*mn right it is!

    3) Is there anything you were told was rude you decided not to do? Or, are you still doing it? Not yet but there are some things I think of doing that I think to myself "hmm I bet people on TK would tell me I'm being extremely narcissistic and selfish right now," so I just choose not to post ;)

    4) Name one thing, if any, you consider so rude it makes you want to tear your eyeballs out: Someone please tell me what a tiered reception is!!!!! I googled and all I got was "tiered wedding cakes!"
  • edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:1e788b9a-0d58-40a6-b0a5-a6cde6ef2673">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I said one thing - and that's all anyone focuses on.</strong> I'm not pandering, I'm not asking for acceptance or validation. I was hoping to be part of the discussion, seems that's impossible if I do one thing that is considered "rude". And Blueyed228 I can't believe these girls have convinced you 7K for an open bar is a necessity! Norms do change and if this is the culture of your community I say be true to your guests. They  love you no matter if they get 2 hours of bar time or not. I realize I have no one in my corner at this time, so take it for what it's worth.
    Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]

    Let's not overdramatize. First, you said many things, and they have been primarily negative and complaining about the posters here. Second, you are super overreacting to my joke about your tiered reception in your other thread on SB. It happened once, let it go. No one else brought up the tiered reception thing until you did again, in this thread. No one is out to get you here, nor do you have "tiered reception" emblazoned on your forehead. Just keep posting as you do and have your fun.

    FYI, people remember things about each other on this board; you can't freak out every time someone brings up another thing you've posted. You're ruining your own experience here, so don't blame it all on us.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Ha JennaV26 ! Yeah, I did a Google search to find the source of this and I got nothing either.
  • edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:1e788b9a-0d58-40a6-b0a5-a6cde6ef2673">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]I said one thing - and that's all anyone focuses on. I'm not pandering, I'm not asking for acceptance or validation. I was hoping to be part of the discussion, seems that's impossible if I do one thing that is considered "rude". And Blueyed228 I can't believe these girls have convinced you 7K for an open bar is a necessity! Norms do change and if this is the culture of your community I say be true to your guests. They  love you no matter if they get 2 hours of bar time or not. I realize I have no one in my corner at this time, so take it for what it's worth.
    Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]

    <div>My whole point throughout this thread has been that it is all about the wording:  Here is what you wrote:</div><div>
    </div><div><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font face="Calibri" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:10pt;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:13px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" color="#000000">However, I will be doing a “tiered” reception despite the visceral reaction this gets</font></span></font></strong><font style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" color="#000000"><strong style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:10pt;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;font-family:Wingdings;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:13px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">J</span></span></strong><span style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:10pt;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><font face="Calibri" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:13px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;"><strong style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:13px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">.</strong> I haven’t thought it rude as a guest and don’t feel I will be creating some sh#t storm among my friends – just knotties. I’ll let you all know later if you’re right</font></span></font></span></div><div><font face="Calibri, sans-serif" size="3" class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span style="font-size:13px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></font></div><div><font face="Calibri, sans-serif" size="3" class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span style="font-size:13px;" class="Apple-style-span">That is just calling for a reaction IMHO...you are taunting the regs here to respond. I would think that if you are planning to do something that you know goes against what the TK etiquette suggests you shouldn't be flaunting it, just do it quietly and accept that others don't agree. I am having a traditional head table (I forgot to include that earlier)...I know that a lot of people on TK don't agree with it and I am not going to spend my time (or waste theirs) trying to convince them it is a good idea.  I am choosing to do something that I know they don't agree with but that doesn't mean I have to argue until they magically agree with me.</span></font></div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:5cdbdc96-a905-4dc1-8180-ddc41b872d9c">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot : Let's not overdramatize. First, you said many things, and they have been primarily negative and complaining about the posters here. Second, you are super overreacting to my joke about your tiered reception in your other thread on SB. It happened once, let it go. No one else brought up the tiered reception thing until you did again, in this thread. <strong>And people remember things about each other on this board; you can't freak out every time someone brings up another thing you've posted. You're ruining your own experience here, so don't blame it all on us.</strong>
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    Yep.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:1e788b9a-0d58-40a6-b0a5-a6cde6ef2673">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]I said one thing - and that's all anyone focuses on. I'm not pandering, I'm not asking for acceptance or validation. I was hoping to be part of the discussion, seems that's impossible if I do one thing that is considered "rude".<strong><u> And Blueyed228 I can't believe these girls have convinced you 7K for an open bar is a necessity! Norms do change and if this is the culture of your community I say be true to your guests. They  love you no matter if they get 2 hours of bar time or not. I realize I have no one in my corner at this time, so take it for what it's worth.
    </u></strong>Posted by alclover[/QUOTE]

    They didnt convince me to do it.  They just convinced me that if I did not do it, it would be considered rude. 

    If I could not afford it, I would just move to a different venue.  :)

    p.s.  I think that if you would just acknowledge that what you are choosing is considered rude (im not judging since im not savvy on the situation you are referring to) and left it at that, then you would be better off.  Defending it just makes people think that you dont care about etiquette, and wonder why you asked in the first place.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    alcover, if you seriously believe your friends and family won't judge you for doing something improprietous, well, then...you would have a tiered reception. (but I think we addressed that in another thread)
  • Number55 - I like you. That's all.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:f053640e-0542-4418-98f8-11934ad1a042">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]Number55 - I like you. That's all.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>ha ha ha, thanks :)...</div>
  • edited April 2010
    Number55 has got a good head on her shoulders.

    JennaV26, a tiered reception is when the bride and groom invite a limited number of guests to the wedding ceremony and dinner afterwards, THEN have a shitton of other guests that they only invite later for dancing and maybe drinks after the real guests are done eating. It's a money-saving tactic and designates preferential treatment to some guests over others. Just because the term is not popular (i.e., easily found on the first page of a google search) doesn't mean that this practice isn't extremely tacky and disrespectful to your "end of the night" guests.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Here's my final declaration for the night - I will never again type the words tiered reception. That's all. My apologies for stirring the pot.
  • My final declaration is thanks to the 'regs' for letting me in on the fun...I might actually start to post here and maybe on E too, it isn't as a scary a venture as I had presumed it would be!
  • Some one here accused me of making a poll just to support the views of regs (sorry I forget now who, it was back a few pages ago) and that really bugged me.

    First of all, I tried to word the questions very fairly. I don't think they were leading and I think they spoke directly to debates we see on here all the time.

    Second of all, if you stick around to see me post at all, you will notice I am interested in exploring two sides to every issue.  I resent the accusation that I just wanted to have pump up the regs opinion on here. This poll was spurned by some accusations in the "bitches" thread below and I wanted to create an open forum to pinpoint the issues that make it so hard for some women to enjoy their time here. Believe it or not, I really do love hearing all view points and opinions and welcome new people whole heartedly.

     I just find it ironic that this kind of sweeping generalization (made by the accuser) is so typical of people who refuse to talk about what exactly bugs them.
  • No problem Jenna! :)

    On another note, I just wanted to say something that I really appreciate about the posters here, which strangely enough seems to come up in threads where someone else is complaining about how unhelpful we all are. And that is when people who I remember from really heated threads (like Lenore and Blueeyed), who I may have even argued with, come back and speak to how helpful the whole thing was and how much they still like being a part of this board. It's no fun being flamed, and anyone who can bounce back from it, admit they learned something, and be cool with people here earns my respect. And I like Lenore and Blueeyed now. I think this all speaks to this not being such a horrible, bitchy place after all. ;)

    Okay, that's all the puppies and rainbows you're getting out of me for now. Except, ditto Meg's points. She's one of the top 3 people I can think of on all these boards who genuinely enjoys meeting new posters and getting to know them, and not just sticking with who she knows. If you think she's biased against you then you must be misinterpreting something.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:a6dd5986-af2f-46eb-960d-06f9833cf84e">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE] <strong><u>And I like Lenore and Blueeyed now.</u></strong> I think this all speaks to this not being such a horrible, bitchy place after all. ;) Okay, that's all the puppies and rainbows you're getting out of me for now. Except, ditto Meg's points. She's one of the top 3 people I can think of on all these boards who genuinely enjoys meeting new posters and getting to know them, and not just sticking with who she knows. If you think she's biased against you then you must be misinterpreting something.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    Well like I said before.  Im not above getting put in my place once and awhile.  Lol.  I mean I <em>guess</em> I can admit that im not <em>always</em> right <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • 1) Does telling some one they are doing something rude on here = being a bitch to some one?
    No. People are here to get advice. I, myself would try to be as nice as possible to the person needing/wanting advice all the while thinking in my head "are they f*cking crazy?" I've learned from experience that talking to someone nicely and camly often leads to them understanding you better and siding with you.
    2) Is this or is this not part of the point of consulting other brides on wedding ideas?
    Yes it is the point. If someone continually posted the same thing in order to get different opinions or if they posted something they could easily look up themselves if they are worried about people's responses I lose my patience and tend to be b*tchy towards them.

    3) Is there anything you were told was rude you decided not to do? Or, are you still doing it?
    I was thinking about a way to say no gifts and only cash without sounding greedy. But after reading other posts and looking into it, I found there is no real acceptable way to say it. (I also never posted this question because it gets asked alot and I just fished through some boards and found my answer) And I feel like I have a good reason to only want cash. I'll have to ship every gift we get as well as all my other things I own over to ireland, which is getting up there in price. I figured in the end that I am inviting friends and ffamily that know me and know that I am moving so I am hoping they will know me enough to figure we would prefer money

    4) Name one thing, if any, you consider so rude it makes you want to tear your eyeballs out:

    Rude guests: checking off the decline invite/will not attend on the RSVP and not give a reason. I got a few of those and it made me and fi feel kind of rejected. Maybe I'm just super sensitive right now.

    Bride/groom: to try and control everyone by making extreme demands. giving rules for guests to abide by... I can't think of anything right now, but I remember seeing posts about things like that.
  • Number55, I think you've said it beautifully.

    I think it is possible to share an opinion without being mean or harsh.  It feels very different to hear, "Gosh, as a guest, I'd feel hurt and offended if that happened, " vs. "You're being selfish and ridiculous, and there is NO EXCUSE EVER for your behavior." 

    What it often comes down to, to me, is empathy.  Sometimes people can be so harsh and judgmental in their attitudes.  They tend to do a lot of mind reading of others and assume the worst possible intentions on their part.  And frankly, certain words are just inflammatory and unhelpful.  I think sometimes people can feel so justified in their positions and can have this anger and righteous indignation, when it really isn't appropriate to the situation.

    I may feel that I am 100% right on a given situation, and 90% of you may agree with me, but I think there is a problem if the person I give feedback to leaves the situation with hurt feelings and feeling publicly attacked.  To me, that isn't "honesty," just meanness.

    One thing I realized with some degree of naive surprise is that although being a bride is a magical time in one's life, it doesn't necessarily mean that a person is nice just because they are a bride.  There are a lot of chronically angry and indignant people out there, and some of them are on wedding boards!  I think it is possible to disagree and share a different viewpoint without being nasty and condemning.  We can be honest and gentle and the same time.  Having a little humility about our positions helps...
  • Oh a new thing about weddings that drive me crazy!! What is this new trend (or it seems new to me) with someone yelling/announcing the entrance of the bride at the ceremony.  I went to a wedding recently where they had an actual herald playing a trumpet and then announced right before the bride walked down the aisle that the "Princess So and So was coming."  I went to a wedding about 3 months ago where they had the flower girl yell that the bride was coming.....weird.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:797947d8-12b0-4f9a-8183-60e4878a8166">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]2.  Most of the posters that complain that someone was rude/bitchy to them is because they were looking for validation rather than honest opinions.  They don't understand the "rules" of internet posting.
    Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

    This is really important to remember. When people come on here asking if their colors are ok, they don't want to hear "no." Same as when they ask if a cash bar is okay.

    Not everyone understand the purpose of a message board... and that you aren't always going to get the validation you want.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:ed38ff6a-aa81-4e56-9677-1372c4eb50f1">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot : Well like I said before.  Im not above getting put in my place once and awhile.  Lol.  I mean I guess I can admit that im not always right
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Shhhhh, we can't go saying things like that on a regular basis Blueyed, we might damage our all knowing reputations :)</div><div>
    </div><div>Back to you Beatlesgirl.

    </div>
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    OK. I just have to share my morning story re: this thread. I was talking to a co-worker on the subway who is a "reg" on a Poker message board. He said that there are always going to be regs and they are always going to be a bit snippy when they have read the same asinine question over and over.  He also said that newbs who don't lurk before posting will 88% of the time get flamed.

    I have been flamed! I was flamed when I first started posting, I have been flamed even as a so called "reg", (I can't be perfect because I don't think head tables are the worst thing since 'New' Coke). And I think we dosey-doe around this issue a bazillion times but it comes down to the attitude of the OP. Anyway, I just wanted to share that other message boards flame, too. It's not just us Knotties.
  • xoxo- with this new found information about you and your opinion on head tables, you are hereby kicked off bride island! good bye.
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment

    Meg, I'm not having one! I promise!! Please let me back on the island!!! I appeal to you and that guy that hosts DWTS and TK gods.

    I just think they're such a small issue. I would rather be at a wedding with a headtable over one with a dollar dance.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:af083175-1504-4aee-8efd-88f9d6125d3b">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meg, I'm not having one! I promise!! Please let me back on the island!!! I appeal to you and that guy that hosts DWTS and TK gods.<strong> I just think they're such a small issue. I would rather be at a wedding with a headtable over one with a dollar dance.</strong>
    Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

    Redeemed! The warmth of the bridal gods may now shine on your tiara.
  • Oh wait. I've got one to add. On this question:

    3) Is there anything you were told was rude you decided not to do? Or, are you still doing it?

    The general consensus around TK is that children's vows are lame and creepy. I was really excited about Ben having vows when we first got engaged and then I scrapped my plans after I found out that my guests might think they are weird.

    Well, after I met with our minister last week, we came up with some cute little vows that say nothing about "obeying or respecting" and are more about sharing his bug collection, etc. The main point is to have him be a part of the wedding because we are a family and Matt is the only father that Ben has ever known.

    So, I've ultimately decided to go against the grain and give it a go. We plan to have Ben practice at the rehearsal let him make the choice as to whether he wants to do them or not. So, TK can suck it. ;)
  • How are they creepy Cew? I am confused by that one. I think weddings symbolize a new family jsut as much as they symbolize a union between two people. I think that is super cute to involve Ben in the ceremony. Plus, you are obviously not forcing the kid to stand on display.
  • I have to say I think its so funny when people get called out on past things they have posted. I am new and all but it just cracks me up.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polldiscussion-rudenesseffrontery-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5d8c74e1-57ec-4645-a619-e9a05a6f6a25Post:c747c305-b85f-4bdb-a5df-9badc9d0ccdd">Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll/Discussion - Rudeness/Effrontery and The Knot :  I do see your point. I do think it's easy to forget that most people don't frequent message boards and will not understand or appreciate the dynamics.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    I'm totally late to this, but I want to say that I agree with number55.  I agree that if you are being rude, you have to hear it and if you are going to be a whiny baby, you deserve everything you get.  But, I also think some girls just stumble in here to ask a question and become somewhat overwhemled by the responses.  It's those situations that I get a little upset for the OP.    But, when they come in and are all "I'm having a tiered reception and you girls just don't get it," I have to smile at what comes next.

    I actually tried to make this point last week, but I don't think I explained myself very well and was somewhat jumped on.  I don't really care about that; I'm just glad that someone was able to verbalize in a dicussion thread what I was also thinking.  Had I been around last night, I would have participated as well in this.

    Thanks for posting this poll, Meag. 
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