Open Letters

MeaghanandMichael · December 2010

Dear Tuesday morning,

So far I blew a fuse with my hair dryer, had a fight with Mike over who was more tired, Starbucks lost my coffee order, I spilled the recovered coffee all over my car seat, I had lipstick on my teeth in the morning meeting and when some one mentioned the food 'jerk chicken' I loudly stiffled a giggle. I am losing my mind already. Please don't take what is left.

Hiding under my desk in fear,

Meaghan

Steph0871 · December 2010

Dear Minnesota Drivers,

That stuff out there? It's called snow, and we get it every.damn.year. You should know how to drive in it by now. If not, stay home.

~This girl who's just trying to keep a safe distance between her and the SNOW PLOW in front of her.

-----------

SarahPLiz · December 2010

Dear sinuses,

I appreciate you not stuffing up my nasal passages with your goop, but sending it straight down the back of my throat is no good either. Just stop it already. I don't need fever and chills. I don't need to be sick for Christmas, especially because I have to travel where there will be babies and old people. Just stop already. I know you miss Hawaii and its clean air, but you need to stop pouting.

Seriously.

MeaghanandMichael · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:9ac2b586-2271-49b2-bb94-52e1cae735b0">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Minnesota Drivers, That stuff out there? It's called snow, and we get it every.damn.year. You should know how to drive in it by now. If not, stay home. <strong> ~This girl who's just trying to keep a safe distance between her and the SNOW PLOW in front of her.</strong> -----------
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

Ugh and don't you just hate when you do this people act like you are not driving fast enough?? OH AND! I was slowing down for an ambulance on the highway last week and a good 10-15 cars took advantage and went around me, basically cutting the ambulance off. I wished them all death by monkey poop.

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:ceb789f7-bcfe-4b4c-8bc9-f94ea72eea3b">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : Ugh and don't you just hate when you do this people act like you are not driving fast enough?? OH AND! I was slowing down for an ambulance on the highway last week and a good 10-15 cars took advantage and went around me, basically cutting the ambulance off. I wished them all death by monkey poop.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

That pisses me off.

Dear E,

When you delete your account, your posts don't go away. They only go away if you get banned.

Love always,

Heels/MFJ

MeaghanandMichael · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:cf7a1139-d40c-4be8-9bb8-0cf8473dc7f3">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : That pisses me off. <strong>Dear E, When you delete your account, your posts don't go away. They only go away if you get banned. Love always, Heels/MFJ
</strong>Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

ermm, please tell me this was not a serious topic of discussion over there

betrothed123 · December 2010

Dear sleep,

I miss you. Please return to me.

Sincerely,
An exhausted B.

Nebb · December 2010

Dear Husband,
Just because my birthday coincides with christmas does NOT mean you can mold them together and ignore my birthday. I planned a whole birthday weekend for you, I deserve atleast a freaking card. Having to TELL you I would like a card and a birthday gift is pretty freaking unacceptable. Use your head, darling.

Love,
your disgruntled wife.

LessThanZero · December 2010

Dear FI,

If you think that I'm going to work a full day and then go Christmas shopping with you, after you've had the whole day off, you're sadly mistaken.

With Love,
LTZ

shaydenise · December 2010

Dear Body,

Don't you dare get sick! I will put you through hell if you get sick on me when I'm gone next week. Those excursions we paid for? You're going on 'em whether you're sick or not.

Suck it up and come on!

Thanks,
Shay

tidetravel · December 2010

Dear neighbor -

I've had just about enough of your wild accuasations and constant harassment. My husband did not steal your stupid planters, and as I told you in the follow up text to the one that you sent me at 6:41 this morning, this conversation is over. If your shiit is missing, file a police report. Do not call, do not text, and do not come onto my property. You are no longer welcome. I expect that this will be the last communication from you. If you insist on continuing, I will call the police myself and file a restraining order for harassment.

Tide

PS. I know it was you that filed the anonymous complaint w/ CPS. That went far, huh? Next time, if you're going to make up stories, try to make them somewhat believable. Keep it up, bitch.

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:6a530d87-bd14-4c62-9050-ee9ae5dd9f63">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : ermm, please tell me this was not a serious topic of discussion over there
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I would but I can't lie to you. It's in "memorable threads of 2010." There's some funny stuff in there. Like Steph. Steph is funny.

tidetravel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:90956a2d-a4c6-4b3d-bd9a-1e1d48f65428">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Husband, Just because my birthday coincides with christmas does NOT mean you can mold them together and ignore my birthday. I planned a whole birthday weekend for you, I deserve atleast a freaking card. Having to TELL you I would like a card and a birthday gift is pretty freaking unacceptable. Use your head, darling. Love, your disgruntled wife.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry Nebb - my grandmother was born on Christmas day, and I know that the fact that she didn't "get" a birthday was one of her biggest complaints. I'm also convinced that missing out on a lifetime of birthdays is what turned her into an ornery, nasty, mean bitch - but I'm sure that won't happen with you <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-kiss.gif" border="0" alt="Kiss" title="Kiss" />

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:016251b8-ab1c-48f3-8417-a932b11da6fd">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear neighbor - I've had just about enough of your wild accuasations and constant harassment. My husband did not steal your stupid planters, and as I told you in the follow up text to the one that you sent me at 6:41 this morning, this conversation is over. If your shiit is missing, file a police report. Do not call, do not text, and do not come onto my property. You are no longer welcome. I expect that this will be the last communication from you. If you insist on continuing, I will call the police myself and file a restraining order for harassment. <3 Tide PS. I know it was you that filed the anonymous complaint w/ CPS. That went far, huh? Next time, if you're going to make up stories, try to make them somewhat believable. Keep it up, bitch.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Woah.

allisong23 · December 2010

Oh my god, Tide. What a freaking psycho!

tidetravel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:a37ffcb7-4d20-4c2c-b8e1-a788b1d687ee">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my god, Tide. What a freaking psycho!
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

Haha, yeah... I think my favorite part of the CPS visit was when they asked us if we were growing drugs in our backyard, and DH replied, "Shiit, we can't even get grass to grow, much less marijuana." Like I would risk my law enforcement job to grow drugs. idiot.

Nebb · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:a486e022-9ae2-4dc2-80de-0d3de7dee273">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : I'm sorry Nebb - my grandmother was born on Christmas day, and I know that the fact that she didn't "get" a birthday was one of her biggest complaints. I'm also convinced that missing out on a lifetime of birthdays is what turned her into an ornery, nasty, mean bitch - but I'm sure that won't happen with you
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

I try REALLY REALLY hard not to let it get to me, but sometimes it just does. It really hurts to have your birthday skimmed over by the whole world because of a holiday. Its just depressing to never get to go out or see friends or do anything fun on your birthday, because its stupid Christmas. Ya, im bitter.

BecW2be · December 2010

Dear Nebb,

I think you should change your birthday to June 25. Your family will adjust, and you won't have to suffer through another Christmas/birthday ever again.

Dear Tide,

Kindly pm me your nieghbor's address and I will deliver gigantic piles of poo to her front door every 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th and 9th day of the month for a year (those numbers spell FUCKYOU in txtspeak).

Dear FuckEX,

Please keep being ugly and bitter and pissed off at the world. It makes me giggle when you lash out at me because I need information for C's passport from you. Yes, we are having more fun in our new life without you. Don't take it personally. If people like you didn't suck so bad people like us wouldn't have anything to compare ourselves to. You = 0 on the fun scale, while We = 10.

Love, Bec

tidetravel · December 2010

Dear Bec,

I love you. I was also quite confused as to why you were blaming FedEx for not getting your daughter's information to you in a timely fashion.

XOXO,
Tide

[Deleted User] · December 2010

Dear Tooth,
Please stop hurting. We go to the dentist in a couple weeks. You can hold out until then.

Dear Tide's Neighbor,
You suck. That is all.

Dear Nebb,
I'll bake you an extra special birthday cake that has nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever. But you have to come to Florida to get it.

Dear CCF,
I hope you feel better soon and I am sending lots of nasty vibes to person to blame.

missy68 · December 2010

Dear Husband,

I'm so sorry I misplaced my source of Christmas money for your gift. I can't believe it vanished from my deep, deep hole-free pocket like that. I wish you'd hold onto mine for the time being. I'm sick to my stomach about it, and can't do a damn thing. Save it for my birthday or something.

All my love but no big gift,
me

Dear Work,
Thank you for a quiet three days.

Dear AZ and VA
Thank you - you know why.

mehgank · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:a486e022-9ae2-4dc2-80de-0d3de7dee273">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : I'm sorry Nebb - my grandmother was born on Christmas day, and I know that the fact that she didn't "get" a birthday was one of her biggest complaints. I'm also convinced that missing out on a lifetime of birthdays is what turned her into an ornery, nasty, mean bitch - but I'm sure that won't happen with you
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

My FI was born on Dec. 28th (along with one of my cousins, one of his cousins, and my BIL, weird...) so I've always had to listen to them complain about people combining their Christmas and birthday gifts.

For instance, my FI would receive an XBOX on Christmas, but no games or controllers till his birthday. That sort of thing.

kd.joseph · December 2010

Dear KD-

Why do you sign yourself up to do all this baking every year. You've made 100 cupcakes and 108 cookies. And you arent even near done yet.

DH- will you help me with cookie/cupcake baking?

Tide's neighbor-
Back off b!tch you may be visited by an angry mob of SB'ers at your door!

Signed,
KD

1ofThoseDays · December 2010

Dear Boss,
If you can go around saying "Merry Christmas" I can say "Happy Yule". If you don't like it, to bad. And if I ever get asked to work late on Yule again, I will flip. Oh, and you might want to stop with the "But it's not a REAL holiday!" stuff. I don't mind going back to jail.
Love,
You best worker
Edit-Formatting

tidetravel · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:71741b67-914d-42a0-a05d-eb1a0f3cafcb">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Boss, If you can go around saying "Merry Christmas" I can say "Happy Yule". If you don't like it, to bad. And if I ever get asked to work late on Yule again, I will flip. Oh, and you might want to stop with the "But it's not a REAL holiday!" stuff. I don't mind going back to jail. Love, You best worker Edit-Formatting
Posted by 1ofThoseDays[/QUOTE]

Dear 1,

Merry Winter Solstice! Hope you have a kewl Yule!

Also, I answered your page from yesterday :)

Tide

1ofThoseDays · December 2010

Dear Tide,
Thank you for answering. I just noticed that. HAPPY YULE!

BecW2be · December 2010

Dear 1ofthosedays,

Why did you go to jail?

1ofThoseDays · December 2010

Assault with a deadly weapon. The charges were dropped before trial though. I threw a hammer at a guy because he kicked my cat. The claw of it almost fractured his knee cap. The moral, don't mess with my animals.

betrothed123 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:f80e0745-f140-4381-b4a7-be1066584df3">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Assault with a deadly weapon. The charges were dropped before trial though. I threw a hammer at a guy because he kicked my cat. The claw of it almost fractured his knee cap. The moral, don't mess with my animals.
Posted by 1ofThoseDays[/QUOTE]
... or the moral could be "biitch be crazy."

Does anyone remember Sunkissed bride (I think that's who it was) who talked about wanting to stab a waitress for hitting on her FI and then she blamed it on PMS? This kind of reminds me of that.

MeaghanandMichael · December 2010

Whatever, B. She was clearly just having one of those days... oooh BAM!

oh Sunkissed, I miss your eyeliner

maratea · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ad154cd-9c86-4442-afa5-58eda18cbeabPost:4236a9d5-6bfc-4db3-9823-ffbbbfdec75c">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : ... or the moral could be "biitch be crazy." Does anyone remember Sunkissed bride (I think that's who it was) who talked about wanting to stab a waitress for hitting on her FI and then she blamed it on PMS? This kind of reminds me of that.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

Someone was talking about her on E last week. WTF is the story behind that? And seriously stabbing a person because they are hitting on your FI? I don't mind women (or men) hitting on H- it boosts his self-esteem (TMI, that's a major plus in the bedroom) and I can be like "haha, he's mine, bitches."

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