Like or Dislike Your Future In Laws

cfthoct292011 · July 2010

OMG you sound just like it...my MIL even had the nerve to say she prays to god everyday that we never have children & were horrible weird people

acielovesrj · July 2010

My future in-laws aren't very normal. I honestly think they were never really in love, a little bit of a cultural thing there. My FMIL doesn't do anything and leaves everything to my FFIL, who's irresponsible. They already have a daughter so I feel completely OUT of the picture. They sent us Christmas pictures with 2 little dolls (with they're two kids names) and didn't include me at all! My mom was pissed to say the least. NO way I would ever hang out with them without my fiance. I do love my FSIL though, a little bit jealous because I know I can't hold a candle next to her in their eyes. MY FGIL on the other hand, I love her to pieces!

vegasgroom · July 2010

I love my FI's parents and really the entire family and they feel the same thankfully. My parents and I are kind of disconnected so FI has had minimal interaction with them but those times have all been pleasant, my mom emails her wedding-related questions, etc. from time to time and talks to her parents occassionally so everyone all gets along great. My FI's parents specifically though are awesome, it's a really close family but they live several hours away which is just about the perfect situation; when everyone's around we all get along perfectly, but they're not so close that we'd need to come up with things to do with them all the time. FBIL is going to be one of my groomsmen, he and I get along great. I race cars and the family will sometimes travel to watch me at events, we've been on cruises with them, we all like to gamble and party LOL.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_like-dislike-future-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e26c1aa2-1bd1-4843-b6df-02c8ec9ef185Post:4b6617a2-f0fd-4d98-84b0-a0e955a01c0c">Re: Like or Dislike Your Future In Laws</a>:
[QUOTE]Cannot stand my future mother-in-law. She treats Tan like he is a child and WILL NOT let us make our own decisions. So tired of it quite frankly. Cannot wait until we move after the wedding. It's terrible but I'm so looking forward to her being out of our lives.
Posted by mmsumner[/QUOTE]

This sounds like my step-mom and step-sister, grown women who talk to each other in baby talk; I dislike both of them to the point I was considering not even inviting the step-sis to my wedding but I'm going to because it would probably cause endless bs for my dad if I didn't. LOL

mdd123082 · July 2010

Mine are thoughtful, supportive, caring, and considerate folks who have embraced me as their own.

I consider myself fortunate to have a close relationship with them, especially my FMIL, who never had any daughters of her own, and is particularly excited to have another girl in the family! And FFIL is just a laid-back kind of guy with a birthday the only one calendar date (but obviously different year) apart.

I knew they really cared about me few years back when a reasonably routine outpatient surgery went unexpectedly badly, and I was made to stay in the hospital to recover for a few days, and undergo a subsequent procedure;

They offered to stay with me to while my parents were attending to my grandfather who was ironically rushed to a hospital across town for an unrelated issue.

I looked worse for wear after 2 days with no shower, but couldn't believe they drove 35-40min. just so I wouldn't be alone or scared. That's family!

sarah42nd · July 2010

My FFIL is great . Very laid back doesn't get into anyone business. My FMIL is a horror . She trys to get into everyone business and run everyones lives.

khermit78 · July 2010

I like my FMIL and FBIL...the rest of the family has serious issues. There's no filter between the mouth and the brain if you catch my drift...LOL!

mlozada21 · July 2010

It would be nice to have a relationship with my FILs but they have no desire to know me & play favorites among their own families so I don't really think I'm missing out on anything. My FI on the other hand got lucky with my family. My family is very open & really want to make people feel welcome not only in our homes but feel welcome in our family. Sad but true, my family treats him better than his own.

kdwhitley · July 2010

I love my FFIL and FBIL. They are the greatest. We joke around and have a good time. I can be my sarcastic self with them and they dish it right back. And vice a versa. They are pretty sarcastic. FMIL thats a different story. Though I love her very much the closer it gets to the wedding the more the typical MIL starts to come out. I would love to have a mother daughter type relationship with her because I dont really have one with my mom but she makes it hard. She doesnt respect our boundaries and has an opinion for everything. She also gets pretty snooty with me. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when someone upsets me but for the sake of my FH I am trying. I think she is just having a hard time letting her baby boy go so I am trying to understand but my patience is wearing thin.

ejsgal · July 2010

I like my fiance's family very much. His mom and I have a really good relationship - - - except that I work in graphic design and she is a member of several philanthropic initiatives. Now, she won't stop calling me to design things for her. Every once in a while is fine, but a few weeks ago, she called me at work five times and then showed up at my office (twice) to have me do something for her. This was all in one day. My fiance told me to tell her its annoying, but its more than that, I feel kind of used. I don't know how to explain that to her without hurting her feelings. -- Before you respond, I did tell her that I can't have constant calls at work, and that she couldn't just pop up because I would get in trouble. She said she completely understood. When I finished her project for her, she called me two days later to ask me to do yet another! ARGH!!

rachaelgrae · July 2010

We can't stand eachother. His step-father actually threw him out of the house for dating me and now that the wedding is getting close they want to be nice. I am her only chance for blood related grandchildren and she's trying to get in my graces, but they can't stand me and I can't stand them!

lyssaloo · July 2010

i love my FFIL- he and my FI are almost the exact same person haha. as far as FMIL is concerned, she IS wonderful... but sometimes she just does things that absolutely irritate the poo out of me. unlike my FSIL, i can ignore most of her annoying habits and just deal with it... but the closer it gets to the wedding, the more i can't handle it. i just hope our relationship with his parents don't turn out like FBIL&FSIL's relationship with his parents!!

rachaelgrae · July 2010

My family also treats my fiance better than his own. After they threw him out for dating me and stopped paying for his college my parents took him in, housed and paid for him until he found a job and was able to get a full time job. Now she wants to call me and act like we're bffs and it's NOT happening.

smarsh22 · July 2010

My FSFIL is a nice guy, but neither me or FI know him very well (FMIL has only been married to him a short time.). I LOVE my FBIL! We get along really well. My FSIL is still young ( just turned 12). She sweet and I like her, and I'm sure once she is older we will have a great relationship. FFIL is a nice guy also, but I just met him. FI and his dad didn't talk for almost four years and have just recently started trying to have a relationship again. My FMIL is....okay. Somedays I really love her, but then there are times when I don't. Our views on how you treat people, and especially how you raise your children are different. Sometimes, I feel she puts her wants/needs before anyone elses. But I would never tell her any of that, because she's not someone you want on your bad side, and it's just not worth fighting over. Most of the time, I love hanging out with my FIL.

forevernalways90 · July 2010

i just found out after we have been together for a 1 1/2years im not liked by his mother and sister, and not welcomed at their house anymore. Me and his sister i thought were the best of friends. i confided in her about everything, in which she turned around making the mom hate me. We want to get married next summer, but now i feel guilty that i will put him against his family..and i dont want that. i dont know what to do??

jame0223 · July 2010

I have a love/hate relationship with my FILS. I love his mom, but she lives in Missouri so I've seen her 2 times in the last 5 years of our relationship! She just stayed with us for a week at the beginning of June and it was a total joy! The bad part is that the in laws are divorced and have been for almost 15 years! They HATE each other. The relationship was controlling, abusive, and just down right nasty. She left the boys (my FI and his older brother) with their dad. He brought them up, even though he wasn't really there for them and never did much for them. He was always out sleeping around and never home to take care of them. FI's grandparents made them the good men they are. His dad is the most SELFISH person I have ever met! Its always about him! Between FI's parents its always a he said- she said situation. They both equally talk about the problems they created for each other and it seems like they try to make each other out to be wastes of existence..

When it came to planning the wedding his dad told me he would be greatly offended if their mother sat in the normal seat at the ceremony because he wanted to sit there! He kept telling me it would be like us slapping him in the face! Excuse me! I love his mom! LOVE HER! and I love his dad, but I dislike him fiercely! It put me in a horrible position for a few weeks and I felt like total crap about it! I can't stand his dad most of the time because of his two-facedness he pulls in front of the entire family. He's a selfish person who wants all the attention! I feel like he's going to pull something at the wedding!

As for his brother, I love him. He can be a total bully to my honey, but he's his older brother so some of its to be expected. I get along great with his fiance though...soon to be sister in laws! Were super happy about that!

Ugh...I wish I was marrying into a normal family, but I love my man, even though he has a crazy family!

jame0223 · July 2010

Just like Rachaelgrae, his dad kicked him out of the house and my parents moved him in with us. They love my FI and treat him very well! Better then his dad ever has! I hate how his dad tells everyone he did everything for those boys and raised them so great...while he was cheating on their mom and had a new girlfriend every week after they divorced. Always bringing new women and their children in to live with them after only knowing them for a short time. Or marrying a girl he met online after 2 months and divorcing her 6 months later because she was bi-polar! Wonderful!

aricherry · July 2010

Wow Bravo to you ladies who love your in laws. Originally, I got along with everyone which was easy because we rarely saw each other. Then everyone moved within a 5mi radius of each other and it all went down hill after that. I think we all had a lack of bounderies, myself included. We also have a culture difference which played a big part. I was never given any instruction on how to fit into their culture so I did everything wrong. I am generally a person who doesnt back down and does not take alot of crap off of anyone so that was the icing on the melted cake. They didnt like how I speak my mind to their son/brother and how I do not kiss up to them the way my SIL does. Because I love my husband I have tried to make up to them. but its never good enough. We have had countless arguments and fights (physical) not to mention that because they hate me they suddenly hate my daughter too (their step grandkid), but love the grandkids that belong to their son. So yea I have NO TOLERANCE for people who treat kids like crap. I used to be joined at the hip with my SIL (husband's brother's wife) but we fell out also. So much drama but I hope they attend my wedding because I want my husband to be happy, and I hope they give us a cultural wedding to make him happy also.

Melanyferdman · July 2010

My FFIL is awsome! So nice, asks me how I'm doing, cares to hear the answer... FMIL... AND FSIL... awful! the MIL set us up and then decided to hate me... turned the SIL against me, never even had a chance... so looking forward to the wedding and the rolly eyes! All they have done is allowed us to control their access to us so they lose in the long run... Anyone have advice on how to overlook the rolly and dagger eyes for the ceremony?

Melanyferdman · July 2010

if there is a god in your life he would want you to have children... and won't listen to the prayers of your MIL.... He would never allow that prayer to be answered... stay positive, even though it's hard to be... pray for patience and babies!

BluValkyrie · July 2010

Both my FI and I agree....his Mom is intolerable; he wants to move as soon as possible, but we can't yet. We can't trust her at all, because she is noisey and thinks everything is her business....she also thinks that because things were one way once they will always be that way.

She thinks everyone has bad manners when her manners are nothing to shine (like planning a huge Thanksgiving meal and then not even sitting with her guests, but sitting in her recliner watching TV)

His father is more tolerable, but he has shown his true colors more than once and it bothers me....but I'd rather deal with him than my FMIL anyday of the week. (they are divorced)

alysonmanley · July 2010

I love my FSIL. I met her when she was 14, so she was at the age where they like you one minute and dont' the next. She is now 18 and I love who she is becoming. As for my other IL I don't really get along with. It's not that we don't like eachother, our families are just extremely different so it will take a while for our families to meld together.

siemprenyc · July 2010

Before we hit the 59 day until the wedding, I would have said loved them. Now BIL and SIL have dropped a few grenades on us, not so much love anymore. Thank God my fiance is wonderful and I am blessed to have him.

kathyhm · July 2010

I'm very luck in my future in-laws. They are loving people who are fun to be with. I'm sure we will have ups and downs but they are also reasonable and understanding so we will work out any issues that arise.
KathyHM

weepster · July 2010

You sound like your in the same position as we are with his mother. She is just crazy! Says she is too busy to give us addresses for her family so we can send save the dates out. Is only worried about having her dance with her son. I don't even want her to be there.

dlkelly2011 · July 2010

I absolutely love my FILs. They are so much like my own parents that the first time they met, my F and I had to pull them out of the restaurant, because they wouldn't stop talking. F and I were having a hard time financially last year and actually had to live with his parents for a few months, and they made me feel like a part of the family. FBIL and FSIL, they are some of our best friends, she is actually going to be my personal attendant. My first marriage, I couldn't stand my ILs, and am so thankful that my future husbands family is so great.

scarletirishrose · July 2010

It all depends on what kind of a family you're marrying into. Many of my friends love their in-laws, I don't happen to be one of them. My fiance is wonderful and I don't see how he comes from the same gene pool. His father is a liar, an adulterer, a pervert, and hates that I don't respect his actions (apparently him being older than me is supposed to earn my respect even if he's a pig) his mother acts sweet to my face and then makes snide comments behind my back, and she asks him whether he's sure he wants to marry me....yeah, they're divorced by the way. His parents got married at 19 and instead of getting a divorce when they realized it, they had a child and brought him into the mess, so now that they're divorced they're both having a midlife crisis and acting like sluts and teenagers "tell him I said this, talk to her about that"...grow up for craps sake and tell him/her yourself! They are so busy being selfish that they don't realize how sad my fiance is...he wants to be close to them but they make it impossible, so my parents have had to fill in. I'm excited for you that you get along with them so well and I hope it is always that way, but when some people have children, they know that one day someone will "take them away" and they treat that person like the enemy, no matter what.

miaka51 · July 2010

I like them... most of the time. When it comes to wedding details MIL forgets that it is our wedding and not hers... I wish FI would stand up to her more on that front (as I feel it is not my place to tell her to back off), but on the whole they have been really good to us. We will never be girlfriends, but I respect her and I think she is pretty happy he picked me. :-)

johnsjuicy · July 2010

I love my future mother-in-law; although, she has a tendency to be a bit controlling. I have to reign her in from time-to-time to remind her at my age (47), I dont need any one trying to run my life... LOL

botticelliangel6 · July 2010

I very much dislike my FMIL (FFIL is dead), but it's a different situation since they were abusive when he was a kid - it's not a normal "she's too picky" kind of thing.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I love my future father in law and although my future mother in law is more conservative than my self or my family, we get along wonderfully! She knows that my partner and I were meant to be (she says so herself) and I even took her to my final dress fitting because m own mom was working. We get along and I have NO complaints about any of my future in laws.

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