Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

Go.

(yeah I know I'm a PW today, whatever. I do what I want)

J&K10910 · December 2010

"All your bridesmaids have to do is get a dress and show up on time."

"YOU GET ONE DAY!"

"If you don't want your mom to be a horrid controlling biitch pay for your own wedding."

Um...pretty much anything that could be considered a party line when used on it's own I hate. I don't mind those things when they're incorporated with a nicely thought out answer, or when they fit, but so many people throw them out without really knowing or caring if they fit the situation, and with no other explanation."

number55 · December 2010

I don't think having a cash bar is tacky. I think it a choice you make. I don't care as long as I know.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:81d18b6e-915a-42ca-b70b-f21b224f83eb">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think having a cash bar is tacky. I think it a choice you make. I don't care as long as I know.
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

I don't think they're a big deal either.

I don't think it's bad to have a dry reception.

Nattie24 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:d1ea048c-e820-4d0c-9b11-a8ae4b43209b">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>"Favors HAVE to be edible otherwise they will be thrown away or left on the table" </strong>I have kept every candle I got at a wedding and I had little plants that people loved, so there. And ditto J&K's BM's just have to show up one.
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is why I stay away from the Favors board.

</div>

number55 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:d98f7806-6145-4714-9c60-6847a8f5a742">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]"Your wedding is a year and a half away, why do you even care about your venue/bridesmaid dresses/huge sparkly princess tiara right now??" I didn't realize there was a set in stone timeline all women had to follow. How DARE people start thinking about what kind of BM dress theyd like to use before it is down to nine months out.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

<div>Esp. since we were limited in our choices and we started planning a YEAR out...if I had been willing to wait the extra 6 - 9 months I would have had more choices planning wise. I would definitely tell someone to book the big things early. </div>

number55 · December 2010

I will be completely honest and say that I have never seen the point in a favour at a wedding. It's supposed to be a gift to the guests? What about the 4 course dinner and open bar? What was that?

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:7c614c20-bf21-4575-a3d9-f6fa3d36bf51">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : I don't think they're a big deal either. <strong>I don't think it's bad to have a dry reception.</strong>
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Oh, don't get me fired up about that one. You all know how I feel ;)

eastunder1 · December 2010

"I know this is generally frowned on and for good reason, but ** I ** did it so that makes it totally ok"

Uggh,

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:658277c9-3594-4652-8a00-8bc745d5275e">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be completely honest and say that I have never seen the point in a favour at a wedding. It's supposed to be a gift to the guests? What about the 4 course dinner and open bar? What was that?
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

I don't really get it either.

number55 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:9f6f03d1-23af-4c6e-bb0f-571b555cdded">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : Oh, don't get me fired up about that one. You all know how I feel ;)
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't know how you feel though, and I kinda do want to know.</div>

LesPaul · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:8e9966c3-976c-4217-ae90-fd7bcfa0dd81">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate hearing about how having a personal attendant is horrible, because you "shouldn't ask a friend to be a slave." I had a personal attendant and I would have been shiit without her. I would also love to be a personal attendant for ANY bride. I also hate hearing about how you should never ask people to pour punch, hand out programs, etc. I know to some people it's crap jobs but I actually knew people who really enjoyed and wanted to do it.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Agree completely. I asked friends and family to help, and they were happy to do so. In fact, if someone asked me for something to do (because they knew I had planned the entire wedding by myself and really needed a little help the day-of) I gladly gave them a task like helping to arrange centerpieces or make sure the favors, guest book, etc were out and things were ready to go. I was appreciative, and they were definitely not my 'slave for a day'.

reddy123 · December 2010

I also think TK is used to people kicking out or freaking out about pregnant BM's, when in actuality, sometimes the post is just a "omg, what do I do?" post, and if a BM is going to be 7-9 months pregnant at your date, I think it's fair to have questions and want to talk it out with your BM.

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:4d0aff29-91c3-42cd-aa4b-58d7fb742d8a">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : I don't know how you feel though, and I kinda do want to know.
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

I think that there is nothing wrong with a dry reception (whether you can't afford alcohol or you're not having it for personal reasons, or whatever). I think anyone who won't come ot my wedding just because there isn't alcohol there is an asshole that I don't want there in the first place. Also, I think they need to learn to have fun without being shitfaced.

GreenPepperBurger · December 2010

Ditto the "you're automatically a Bridezilla if you care about certain details." People have a right to be excited for their wedding, even if it is only for one day.

number55 · December 2010

I think what I hate the most is that favours/stds/toasting flutes/unity candles...all that crap just exists so that companies can make money.

We made STDS only because when we didn't have them initially DHs family asked about them. Apparently telling them wasn't going to be enough, they needed a magnet to remind them. We made them DIY on our printer at a friends house and cut them out. They cost us like 10 bucks and really only DHs family got them.

But to be fair, this isn't TK advice, the opposite in fact, most ladies on here will tell you that you don't need those things.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:a64ef01e-63c5-4de3-b090-6ebbcd45f6ed">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : I think that there is nothing wrong with a dry reception (whether you can't afford alcohol or you're not having it for personal reasons, or whatever). I think anyone who won't come ot my wedding just because there isn't alcohol there is an asshole that I don't want there in the first place. Also, I think they need to learn to have fun without being shitfaced.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I agree.

J&K10910 · December 2010

(for the record, there WILL be alcohol at my wedding, I was speaking hypothetically. Not that it should matter.)

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:91d9d532-0595-4989-9261-971414efeb80">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : Agree completely. I asked friends and family to help, and they were happy to do so. In fact, if someone asked me for something to do (because they knew I had planned the entire wedding by myself and really needed a little help the day-of) I gladly gave them a task like helping to arrange centerpieces or make sure the favors, guest book, etc were out and things were ready to go. I was appreciative, and they were definitely not my 'slave for a day'.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

YES.

number55 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:a64ef01e-63c5-4de3-b090-6ebbcd45f6ed">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : I think that there is nothing wrong with a dry reception (whether you can't afford alcohol or you're not having it for personal reasons, or whatever). I think anyone who won't come ot my wedding just because there isn't alcohol there is an asshole that I don't want there in the first place. Also, I think they need to learn to have fun without being shitfaced.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I agree. I don't mind a dry wedding or cash bar or open bar or partially open bar. My ONLY complaint is when it is a cash bar that the bride and groom supply and then they over charge (beyond making back their costs) for the alcohol. That I care about. Other than that. I don't care. I don't need to have alcohol to have a good time (although I won't dance like a moron without a couple in me...but I will dance).</div>

number55 · December 2010

oh, I hate it when people presume that if you don't want kids at your wedding you hate children.

I don't hate children, I just don't want them at my wedding. Period.

LesPaul · December 2010

I didn't really know about giving favors, since we don't attend many weddings and I'm a little in the dark socially. I learned most of what I know about them here, and in hindsight I wouldn't have bothered. They're fine, and can be a nice keepsake, but I spent too much effort on them and not everyone cared. But, meh - not really a big deal.

rhodesign · December 2010

I eyeroll the whole" ZOMG you can't get JOP married and then have another ceremony!" Whatever. There are 100000 reasons people may need to do the legal thang first, but still want a special time with family and friends, and I don't begrudge anyone that so long as everyone involved knows what's up.

Simply Fated · December 2010

That the favours have to edible or they'll be thrown away. Yes, I know edible favours are popular, but in my circle of friends, they're mostly just popular with me.

J&K10910 · December 2010

Oh, that reminds me. I hate when people say "YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CLEAR CUT OFF FOR CHILDREN, YOU CAN'T PICK AND CHOOSE!" Yeah? What makes kids special snowflakes that you can't pick and choose, unlike adults? You can pick and choose kids just like you pick and choose adults. Now if you were picking and choosing kids in the same family without some clear cut off, I might side eye that. But kids of family vs kids of friends? Meh. Or cousins' kids but not second cousins' kids? Whatev.

Steph0871 · December 2010

The stupid comparison that having a partial cash bar is the same as making your guests pay you for steak at a houseparty when you're serving chicken or whatever it is.

But, then again, I have no problem with cash bars either... as long as it matches the rest of the wedding. (i.e. if you have a $5000 dress, I better at least get a glass of wine with dinner... unless it's a dry reception for a wedding.)

I also think it's ridiculous that people have "shop for their BMs like it's your birthday." I got my girls all the same thing (a clutch and a necklace... that OMG they wore for the wedding.) But, I also wrote them each a very heartfelt thank you card. They loved it, and I'd never expect more as a BM either.

eastunder1 · December 2010

I think there are certian times when it is considerate too - or rather very inconsiderate NOT to - hve alcohol at a wedding. If you're having a Saturday night seated meal without any sort of wine or drinks, I think that sucks. People enjoy good wine with nice meals. People enjoy imbibing on their nice weekend nights out, and your wdding is one of them. Its not required, but its considerate. If you have a wedding on NYE and make it a dry one, you're an asshat. Period. That comes with the territory of having a NYE wedding. Its something you agree to when you pick that date.

But yeah, I think its silly to say there has to be booze at any wedding. I don't need booze at your 2pm luncheon reception. Thats just weird.

And people who say they won't come are jerks. I may leave early if your wedding if boring as all hell, as alcohol does tend to be the social lubricant that gets people mixing, but I'm not going to not come. Thats just crazy.

Simply Fated · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:aaff0998-3181-43de-860a-a450d7e501c1">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, that reminds me. I hate when people say "YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CLEAR CUT OFF FOR CHILDREN, YOU CAN'T PICK AND CHOOSE!" Yeah? What makes kids special snowflakes that you can't pick and choose, unlike adults? You can pick and choose kids just like you pick and choose adults. Now if you were picking and choosing kids in the same family without some clear cut off, I might side eye that. <strong>But kids of family vs kids of friends? Meh. Or cousins' kids but not second cousins' kids?</strong> Whatev.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
Those are good examples of clear cut-offs, IMO. But maybe I'm too relaxed on that one for some people. :)

Steph0871 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:7946f866-4033-4361-b851-8227458bf855">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]I eyeroll the whole" ZOMG you can't get JOP married and then have another ceremony!" Whatever. There are 100000 reasons people may need to do the legal thang first, but still want a special time with family and friends, and I don't begrudge anyone that <strong>so long as everyone involved knows what's u</strong>p.
Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, emphasis on the bolded part.</div><div>
</div><div>As long as all of your guests know what's up, who cares. If you're going to hide it from them, though, then I will call you a greedy biatch.</div>

number55 · December 2010

Oh, I think my #1 thing I don't care about is if you were already married or not so the JOP then party doesn't bother me.

However, I love how TK has changed me. Over the holidays SIL was talking about how she really really really doesn't want to be the centre of attention so she doesn't want a ceremony at all. She wants to go to the court house, just her and whomever she ends up marrying and then have a big party. She said she didn't even want her parents/family there. She also doesn't want BMs or anything, or even a big white dress. She just wants to have a wicked party. I told her that her guests would feel shafted. But then in hindsight, I don't think that is fair, because if she doesn't want to be the centre of attention I get that. And if she still wants to throw a huge party, more power to her.

Of course, my favourite thing in all this is that she is single. I wanted a tiny destination wedding or JOP before I met DH (and have you SEEN my wedding pics?)...he is the one who wanted a huge wedding (it wasn't huge # wise but it was an event)...I bet ya that she will end up with someone who wants a traditonal ceremony and stuff...ha!

edited for better word choice that didn't have negative connotations.

DodgersBride · December 2010

Dollar dances are tacky.

While this may true for most people it's not true for all. Every wedding I've been to has had one and most people ask if you are having one. That's not to say that it's a common in CA or in Latin culture. It is just common in my circle.

Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.

Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.

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