Wedding Etiquette Forum

Deal Breakers

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Re: Deal Breakers

  • No-kids is MOST definately a deal breaker. 
  • Someone who had family or best friends that I didnt get along with AT ALL.



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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-breakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:958ce528-5101-40bc-8ad7-218e555d112dPost:52f9ed72-5dae-4baa-ab98-e5db4febdd5a">Re: Deal Breakers</a>:
    [QUOTE]S And, I don't think I could date an extreme republican 
    Posted by Bellini_415[/QUOTE]

    Me neither.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-breakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:958ce528-5101-40bc-8ad7-218e555d112dPost:56c1a40e-f895-485c-841d-66f57fa82928">Re: Deal Breakers</a>:
    [QUOTE]Someone who had family or best friends that I didnt get along with AT ALL.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    ^ This definately...been there done that!!!
  • Smoker
    Golfer
    Dependent person
    Person wanting me to be dependent
    (this will get me flamed) Someone with kids

    I know that's ridiculous for me to say, having my own kids, but I would not date anyone with their own kids. We can have one of our own together, but I think blended families are hard enough. I've seen what putting kids together can be like. I'm not doing that to my girls.
  • these were my deal breakers:

    previously married
    has a kid
    wants kids
    shorter than me
    not funny
    not smart
  • amw- unrelated, but are you going to fiji for your honeymoon? We went to Vanuatu (close by and very similar). 
  • I wasn't against dating someone with kids, until I dated someone with kids. Then I decided I wouldn't do that again.

    Not funny is a deal breaker, fo sho.

    BEC WE COULDNT GET MARRIED! What do you have against golf!?
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  • GAH.  Smokers are the new lepers, apparently.

    I could not marry an extreme left-wing fanatic.  Moderation is a lovely thing. 
  • My deal breaker(s) is/was/are: drugs, dumbness, cheating, extreme baggage (the ex girlfriend that won't go away).

    Aside from that, I'm a pretty easy going person. I'm okay with a lot of things that may have been a deal breaker (aka, kids from a different relationship), but I never faced them first hand, so I can't say for sure.
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  • No smokers
    Never been in prison/jail
    Need to be educated
    Wants children

    Loves to travel

    Likes animals/pets (dogs)

    Family Oriented

    Those ended up being what I was looking for, rather than deal breakers....

    ~Chelsea~
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-breakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:958ce528-5101-40bc-8ad7-218e555d112dPost:c296807a-9f28-415c-8879-4f1aed4b291a">Re: Deal Breakers</a>:
    [QUOTE]Smoker Golfer Dependent person Person wanting me to be dependent (this will get me flamed) Someone with kids I know that's ridiculous for me to say, having my own kids, but I would not date anyone with their own kids. We can have one of our own together, but I think blended families are hard enough. I've seen what putting kids together can be like. I'm not doing that to my girls.
    Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

    I totally understand about the kids.  If I wasn't with FI and with the knowledge I have now... I wouldn't date a man with children (unless the kid's mom was no where to be found).  I know this will probably get me flamed.
  • edited December 2009
    I couldn't marry someone who was a fanatic about anything; politics, religion or otherwise. I need an intellectual connection that involves discussion around social/religious views we're passionate about, but passionate and fanatic are two very different things, and I couldn't deal with someone who didn't try to think critically about their own opinions and values. 
  • thesun-No I WISH...it's just a little too much for the whole overwater bungalow thing.  Haha but I might check into this place you speak of because we aren't able to go on our HM until this summer because of school.  :(
  • Yup. In my experience it wasn't the child, but putting up with the other parent was enough for me to say, OHELLTOTHENO, I'm not doing this again.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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  • Oh Fische, believe me, it hurts me to say we'll never marry.

    I hate everything about golf. It bores me to tears to watch it, hear about it, play it... I put up with all of that with Ex because he was obsessed. When he used golf as an excuse tofuck a skankwhore a little more than 1/2 his age on Mother's Day weekend, I decided I hate golf almost as much as I hate him, and the mere utterance of the word is a deal breaker.

    Thankfully, DH hates it too, so that's a plus. He'll have to use a different excuse if he ever wants tofuck a skankwhore on Mother's Day weekend, and then I'll hate whatever that is forever and ever too.
  • And? It's super difficult to disagree about how 2 people are raising a child that isn't yours, but that you are spending time with. UGH PTSD.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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  • being homophobic
    testosterone driven man fighting/jealousy
    guilt trips
     I HATE it when people throw/break things when they're mad, I had an ex like that and now I realize it's border-line abuse.. he was guilty of the guilt-trips too, UG.

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  • Am I alone in the whole guy butt seks thing?  Bueller? 
  • Well, Bec. Those all seem like very valid reasons. ;)

    But if you come visit me, we'll just go drinking. It might be on a moving vehicle and we might get to hit things along the way to take out our aggression. It'll be great.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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  • Another one: Someone I can't trust. For whatever reason. If I catch you in the tiniest of lies, we're done. I have trust issues, fer sure. It's the reason I ended my 15+ years marriage. I knew I'd never, ever trust him again, no matter how long I stayed married to him. So I ended it.
  • edited December 2009
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-breakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:958ce528-5101-40bc-8ad7-218e555d112dPost:2be6ee03-5f80-462b-ac8e-09cdc6d54ca7">Re: Deal Breakers</a>:
    [QUOTE]thesun-No I WISH...it's just a little too much for the whole overwater bungalow thing.  Haha but I might check into this place you speak of because we aren't able to go on our HM until this summer because of school.  :(
    Posted by amw716[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>Well, I don't know that it would be muchmore economical for you to get there if you're in the US, as Vanuatu and Fiji are about the same distance from Australia, and probably also the states. Maybe you can do the tropical island HM holiday in Hawaii? Fiji and Vanuatu are priced fairly similarly in terms of accommodation, I think, but Fiji is perhaps a little more developed and thus more popular with tourists. </p>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-breakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:958ce528-5101-40bc-8ad7-218e555d112dPost:0bb9a102-66a1-4957-b0f4-42f487cacacf">Re: Deal Breakers</a>:
    [QUOTE]And? It's super difficult to disagree about how 2 people are raising a child that isn't yours, but that you are spending time with. UGH PTSD.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    This is the truth.
  • Man..you ladies would hate my hubs!!  He smokes, hunts, and did drugs in his heyday.
    A non-smoker was on my list until I met DH and realized that he was better than any "society standard" there is out there. 
    As for me, I didn't marry a cheater/physical abuser (which was a big no), I also didn't marry someone who didn't want children (we would probably have 4 by now if he had it his way)
     

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  • True...I guess I'll just dream for now and plan a more economically friendly HM.  :-)

  • That sounds like a plan, fische! But you'd better take me to the rowdiest, loudest place to hit things on a moving vehicle place on earth. I can't stay quiet for 18 holes. By 11th tee, I'm trying to take out strangers with a golf club to the back of the knees and using an airhorn every time I see someone swing. I can't help it.
  • Do you think i'd belong to golf club that was too tight laced? I think not.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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  • Thread jack:  I'm watching, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" - why am I wishing my tv would just go blank?  I'm just killing time until Dexter starts.

    ::threadjack over::
  • Yup, none of you would want to marry my husband. I love my smoking, uneducated, children hating, moderately high debt husband.
  • Cacoffer, I've never met a man who had had relations with a man and then wanted to be with me, so it's hard to say.

    I would be concerned that he wasn't really doing what he truly wanted.

    That being said, I think there's a huge double standard between women who have been with women and men who have been with men.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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