Have you seen this dad?

LDYGTR13 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:06718664-c63b-4033-b39e-6f2bf8179f04">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah simple progression of parenting when TEENAGERS don't listen. 1. Ground you 2. Make viral you tube video and shoot your lap top. This douchebag doesn't deserve any more of my energy. <strong>I'm really pumped so many of you think that shooting things when you don't get your way is ok. </strong>Astonishing, actually.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
Fishy - most of us keep saying that the shooting part we don't agree with...

[Deleted User] · February 2012

How is he a lazy parent?

crfische · February 2012

Brit, you can't ignore the gun. That's the point. And my point is, he could have...you know...talked to his kid. Or made the video private or...I DON'T KNOW. NOT MADE A VIDEO AT ALL. I know, crazy, right?

mkrupar · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:06718664-c63b-4033-b39e-6f2bf8179f04">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah simple progression of parenting when TEENAGERS don't listen. 1. Ground you 2. Make viral you tube video and shoot your lap top. This douchebag doesn't deserve any more of my energy. I'm really pumped so many of you think that shooting things when you don't get your way is ok. Astonishing, actually.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Fishy I think most of us have said the gun was overboard. But I'm totally ok with him calling her on her shiit.

specialk84 · February 2012

There has to be a step between grounding and guns. I posted too soon on my "it's inappropriate" post, but I ETAed.

Guns + anger = bad decisions, IMO.

I did grow up during social networking, and my father would still NEVER humiliate me like that, regardless of how I disrespected him. I would be dealt with, sure, but not like that.

Beachy730 · February 2012

Fish I think the main difference and where I won't see eye-to-eye with you on this is that you think the whole thing was about shooting the laptop. And I don't see it that way. It's just 2 completely different ways of looking at it. If you think I'm a moron because I think there was more to this than just shooting the laptop, then so be it. But no, I don't think the only point to the whole thing was shooting the laptop.

crfische · February 2012

How is he NOT a lazy parent? Don't listen to me? I just shoot your stuff and scare you. Fear and repect are very different things.

Birdie1483 · February 2012

I'm conflicted about this. One on hand, I'm glad that he's taking a stand as a parent. On the other, I feel that it was pretty passive aggressive and not the most effective means to parent your child. I feel like that conversation should have happened face to face in person and not through social media. The lesson learned and the parenting would have been much more effective that way IMO.

The gun didn't really bother me though. I wouldn't waste a good laptop like that and I think that was pretty stupid from a financial standpoint, but the actual gun doesn't bother me.

crfische · February 2012

Oh, god. This hurts.

crfische · February 2012

It's like saying I totttaalllyyyy agree with war, just not the whole fighting part.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:917a36b8-e40c-47cd-9f18-01e6b11000d8">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]How is he NOT a lazy parent? Don't listen to me? I just shoot your stuff and scare you. Fear and repect are very different things.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

So simply because he shot the laptop, he's a lazy parent? Never mind everything he did in the past to get her to shape up. Never mind the fact that he spent the time and money to upgrade the computer for her benefit. Never mind everything else he may or may not do for the kid and his family. Shooting a laptop automatically discredits any of that. Got it.

Beachy730 · February 2012

I don't think there is any "fear" trying to be instilled with the shooting. Based off several things observed in the video I'm assuming he's from Texas or somewhere similar, where guns are thought of totally different than they are to me, from NY. I honestly think it was just his way of destroying it. My dad probably would have used a hammer since he was a carpenter. It doesn't mean I would learn that taking a hammer to something you don't agree with is a good way of handling things.

LDYGTR13 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:c06d5a60-2fa8-4e11-92c5-f123a7595442">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]Brit, you can't ignore the gun. That's the point. And my point is, he could have...you know...talked to his kid. Or made the video private or...I DON'T KNOW. NOT MADE A VIDEO AT ALL. I know, crazy, right?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
Like I said before, I guess I just don't see it that way. The gun, IMO, isn't the most important part. <div>
</div><div>I'm also giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he HAS spoken to his child previously about other instances. </div>

Beachy730 · February 2012

We don't know that he HASN'T talked to her about it.

crfische · February 2012

Because we TOTALLY know everything he has done to parent her. I guess I didn't realize you knew them.

baystateapple · February 2012

I don't know, I don't buy the whole "can't go off how our parents would act" thing. Sure we didn't have social networking then. But disrespect is disrespect, no matter how you slice it. How is finding a post bitching about your parenting skills on FB any different from overhearing your kid talking about the same subject to his or her friends? Why does "because it's on the internet" make that big a difference?

adamar15 · February 2012

I think it's pretty dumb to call your child out on youtube. When does an eye for an eye ever really work out? It might feel good for a minute, but's not a very productive way to discipline, in my opinion.

annakb8 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:8ea911ea-44ab-4f9c-ad6a-4008a39c0e63">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's pretty dumb to call your child out on youtube. When does an eye for an eye ever really work out? It might feel good for a minute, but's not a very productive way to discipline, in my opinion.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah, I agree with this. I'm pretty sure that this is just going to make his daughter hate him. And it's very "do as I say not as I do." Plus, I didn't think the letter she wrote was THAT bad. Sounds pretty par for the course for a 15 year old. This guy seems like he has anger issues or something.

</div>

crfische · February 2012

When you're mad, just shoot stuff! Things don't go your way? Shoot stuff! People piss you off? Shoot them! Guns are fun! Shooting things, yay! Parent of the year! And if a TEENAGER doesn't listen to you the first time? Shoot their stuff! Up next? Your TV! Yay!

Beachy730 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:1337152c-b6cb-4819-be74-100d9e160af6">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know, I don't buy the whole "can't go off how our parents would act" thing. Sure we didn't have social networking then. But disrespect is disrespect, no matter how you slice it. How is finding a post bitching about your parenting skills on FB any different from overhearing your kid talking about the same subject to his or her friends? Why does "because it's on the internet" make that big a difference?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div>I was taking people saying that as "my dad would never make a video on youtube and post it on my Facebook." So that's what I mean with I don't think you can compare it if we weren't teenagers when this was an option. Obviously my dad would't have made a video and put it on youtube since youtube didn't exist when I was 15. </div>

[Deleted User] · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:388ae21e-517c-45b0-a4ff-09cb5ea33d39">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]Because we TOTALLY know everything he has done to parent her. I guess I didn't realize you knew them.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

No different than you assuming he's lazy all because of 1 video of shooting a laptop.

Stackeye210 · February 2012

You don't air your dirty laundry. Period.

crfische · February 2012

Yeah, you shoot things to make a point? Lazy.

baystateapple · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:d7e39ed7-c977-442c-b0e4-a1b515edac32">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this dad? : I was taking people saying that as "my dad would never make a video on youtube and post it on my Facebook." So that's what I mean with I don't think you can compare it if we weren't teenagers when this was an option. Obviously my dad would't have made a video and put it on youtube since youtube didn't exist when I was 15.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

No, but would he have reprimanded you in public? (I'm not being a sarcastic jerk here, I'm serious)

Most of us would never consider taking our kid out in a public setting and saying "Attention! I just want to let all of you know what Jane did to misbehave. Now I am going to show her exactly how she will be punished, and I'm going to do it in front of everyone here." But that's what he's doing by putting it on the internet -- displaying her poor decisions as a teenager and his punishment to a massive audience.

Beachy730 · February 2012

I think there are far lazier ways he could have dealt with it. Throwing the laptop out the window would have taken much less effort.

Stackeye210 · February 2012

I could think of 100 different ways right now that prove a point better than a hypocritical video that says, "daughter, don't talk sh*t on facebook, but look at facebook while I'm talking sh*t".

crfische · February 2012

Do you agree with tarring and feathering? Or perhaps stoning? It is a modern day stoning. OF YOUR CHILD.

adamar15 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:b910f1c7-dfab-4926-a1ec-4b475d92ba88">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]What if he hadn't shot the laptop? What if he had just taken a garbage can and thrown it away? Would it be raising as much ire? (I didn't see the shooting part. My video froze right when he finished saying that he wasn't going to pay her for doing her chores)
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Probably not. But I still don't think putting it on the internet is an appropriate course of action, regardless of what he actually does in the video.

LDYGTR13 · February 2012

My parents actually DID reprimand me in public - and I had to call my friends one year to cancel my birthday party because I was caught lying. I learned my lesson though and didn't lie to my parents for a few years because of it. I had to scrub the wall in my kindergarten playground because I wrote my name on the wall in crayon where everyone else wrote their names, but because my parents wanted me to know that graffiti like that was disrespectful to other people's properties, when I told my mom about it, she drove my butt back to school and watched me scrub crayon off of the wall for an hour during afterschool and there were kids watching too.

They weren't cruel people, but it was what worked on me. I assure you I never colored another wall, desk, whathaveyou.

Beachy730 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:e8895378-70a2-4803-b583-8ce48f618509">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this dad? : No, but would he have reprimanded you in public? (I'm not being a sarcastic jerk here, I'm serious) Most of us would never consider taking our kid out in a public setting and saying "Attention! I just want to let all of you know what Jane did to misbehave. Now I am going to show her exactly how she will be punished, and I'm going to do it in front of everyone here." But that's what he's doing by putting it on the internet -- displaying her poor decisions as a teenager and his punishment to a massive audience.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think you're being a jerk.</div><div>
</div><div>If I was in a group of friends saying everything this girl said, and my dad overheard it, yeah I absolutely think he would have addressed it right then and there in front of people. I don't think he would have gone to the extremes that this guy did in front of other people though. </div><div>
</div><div>I honestly think it's just where our society is today though. Everything is posted online for everyone to see. 10 years ago people wouldn't walk around or call and tell every single friend that they have ever known about how frustrated they are with a current person or situation. But now they don't hesitate to make a post on FB about it, essentially doing the same thing. </div>

Have you seen this dad?

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