Please review earlier post-
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-some-advise-about-the-in-laws
Since this post, my in law situation has gone from bad to worse. I basically received an email from FSIL and her parents together saying that even though I've never said anything directly to them, they know that every time FI has stood up to them it came from me. They said that I've put him in the middle. They said that we're being disrespectful, rude, and insulting by not inviting who they want, not having a full Hindu ceremony, and by not getting married in NY- all things that they wanted and all things that we have compromised with them on. They said they would rather us cancel the wedding than have the wedding we are currently having.
FI called all of them and really laid down the law and said that if they aren't happy with anything, then we will take back all the compromises. He's going to see them this weekend to sit them all in a room together and lay it down that if they can't back off and stop meddling in every aspect of our lives, they can no longer be in our lives.
Here's my dilemna... we wanted a small WP that would only consist of people that had always been in our lives and always would. For FI that person was his sister. I have no siblings, but I have one friend who's been my friend since we were 3 years old. That makes up our whole wedding party and we were very pleased with the simplicity and meaning of it.
I think FSIL is going to be so angry after FI's visit and lecture to her this weekend, that she may back out of being in our WP. I know that it is rude to replace people in a WP and I want to make it clear that we have no intention of kicking FSIL out- she simply may back out on her own. If she does so, can FI ask his friend to stand next to him or is this rude?
May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations