Interesting bit of family news

TKzilla · August 2012

It's really not that easy.

I know what you mean. I had a friend post a MySpace picture of herself holding a butter knife to her wrist when we were 16 or 17. It was frustrating to see that and see my own scarred forearms. I however feel that suicide is not something to be taken lightly. If someone says they're going to do it, I believe them and try to get them help.

A few years ago my friend was going through a "rough time" (his girlfriend moved on). He was the kind of person who did it for attention - make comments and stuff about killing himself. One night he said he was thinking about jumping off his balcony. I was tired of trying to "talk him down" and I couldn't rush over there, so I called the police. He was pissed, but he never made those kinds of comments again because he knew I'd take it REALLY seriously and he'd spend a night in the hospital.

AuntFlo · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_interesting-bit-of-family-news?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a7fee538-edfe-4e7f-bf88-b5fc24c90620Post:0fff1617-4dfd-4a29-9819-1baa3972dad1">Re:Interesting bit of family news</a>:
[QUOTE]All jokes aside, I am glad that you survived, but you do have to understand that for every person that actually wants to end it all, there is a person that justs wants attention. I personally feel that there is never an excuse for suicide and that it is an easy way out.
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

I can't believe I'm going to attempt to talk some sense into you, but you need to understand that people who legitimately attempt/commit suicide are mentally ill. It's not an "easy way out" - it's an illness, the same as any other illness - if the symptoms are not recognized and the illness goes untreated, can result in death.

Wzz · August 2012

i don't think anyone can truly understand suicide, really, unless they have experienced suicidal thoughts.

people who have considered suicide aren't doing it to be selfish or because they don't want to deal with their problems. they consider suicide because they feel that their problems will only go away if they just did not exist any longer. they don't think it's an easy way out; they think it is the ONLY way out.

i used to think that people who committed suicide were completely selfish because of the people they hurt by killing themselves. then after i thought about it - i think i may have read something about the people who jump off the golden gate bridge or something - something clicked in my head about it and it all made sense.

jojobrn · August 2012

I suppose the worst ones are those who talked about it, but then get into treatment because someone takes them seriously, like my sister. What an AW with her 3 weeks of in patient treatment, months of counseling and treatment with Prozac. How dare she.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2012

I haven't had time to read all of this, but 4 pages.

Really???

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:I haven't had time to read all of this, but 4 pages.Really??? Posted by NOLABridesmaid Yes, because if popular opinion is challenged or questioned, WW regs must all jump to each others defense. The funny thing is I guarantee that a few of you feel the exact way that I do about both of the issues being discussed, yet y'all are to gutless to express your feelings, because you may be looked down on by regs like Kuus. Some of y'all are religious, and if you are religious you believe that both suicide and any form of homosexuality will send you to hell. I am not religious, I believe religion was created by man to control men and shame women. So if I said I feel this way because "god" or the Bible said so would that be okay? And if not, then any religious person reading this thread is a hypocrite for not standing up for there beliefs.

Wzz · August 2012

the problem is, no one can even tell what the original argument was about.

at least, *I* can't. or maybe i think that this thread has gone beyond ridiculous and is now ludicrous. i think i see plaid.

TKzilla · August 2012

I think it went like this:

OP posted about her family member deciding to change genders.

Insert argument about the difference between gender and sex.

Flany spewed a bunch of crap about the legitimacy of transgender-ness (sorry, don't know the right word for it)

That spawned a slue of comments shaming her/him/it

Someone mentioned their family member/loved one who was transgender and the suicide attempts due to bullying/ignorance/intolernace

Flany spewed more crap about the legitimacy of suicide attempts

I butted in with my personal crap

More suicide stuff

More Flany spew

Here we are.

**O-Face** · August 2012

Well done, CourtaniaLynn. Well done.

VarunaTT · August 2012

Hm.

I'm not religious, I'm atheist to it all. I think you're kinda crazy, which is too bad, b/c i liked you at first. Nice to have some new blood.

Sex and gender are different and I have a transgender friend who tried to commit suicide. Fortunately, one of my other friends figured out what was going on and reached out to him (still him at the time). We all rallied around him as he became Bethany. Thank goodness, b/c his family completely disowned her for the next six years. I don't even think of her as her former self anymore. Bethany was always there, just not realized, even when we had classes together in college. And, b/c of experiencing this journey with her, I know understand what was wrong with him in college a lot better.

It comes down to compassion. Bethany didn't hop a plan to Thailand 2 different times for major surgeries (breat construction, adam's apple shaving, creation of vagina, hormones for the rest of her life) as a lark. She didn't go through the hatred she's endured from her family and her job (where she was doing the entire transition openly and where she endures a boss who still refuses to call her by her female name or refer to her as a woman). This wasn't a child deciding to go by a different name or pretending to be another gender. This is an adult making a life-long decision after a journey you can't even pretend to empathize, sympathize or imagine.

So, WTF do you get off "defining" them now b/c of your "definitions"? Let them define themselves, you go with it and you worry about your own crap. You didn't like being defined as a worthless out-of-wedlock mother by someone who "doesn't know me"!!! Where do you get off doing it to someone else?

You're about as bad as Akin. You pretty much just defined "legitimate" suicide, again for yourself. In defiance of all known and recognized facts about suicide. Real suicidal people aren't the AWs you make them to be. They're the girl who started the case about SSIs makign teenagers suicidal when she cut into her leg and stared at it like it was a piece of meat bleeding out on the floor <---in her own words. Real suicides are people who are hiding the worst secrets of their life behind masks they put on for people who love them.

Compassion, sympathy and empathy are not that hard. Maybe you should try it sometime.

HookaPants · August 2012

I'm thoroughly appalled that you hoars entertained this fuckery for so long.

**O-Face** · August 2012

Hooka, you can't come around and only attend to this crazy lady. Come on.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2012

Flany, I'm busy on my end, so I don't have time to play.
Hooka, glad to see you in these parts.

HookaPants · August 2012

Two people sent me this stupidity, so I figured it was important. My fingers were so stunned at the ignorance being spewed that they couldn't formulate a response.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2012

It seems like when Flany gets going it's destined to be a three pager plus.

Do you, Flany.

I do find it interesting that you keep stating that people give you a hard time because of your small number of posts. I don't think that has anything to do with it. More like your aggressive and unintelligent perceiving comments.

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:[QUOTE]It seems like when Flany gets going it's destined to be a three pager plus.nbsp;Do you, Flany.I do find it interesting that you keep stating that people give you a hard time because of your small number of posts. I don't think that has anything to do with it. More like your aggressive and unintelligent perceiving comments. Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]
What was unintelligent?
That a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina? That people who "try" and kill themselves are attention whores?
Or that religious people get to have these same feelings, but get a pass because some Arab guy wrote a book 2000 years ago and idiots to this day follow it.

HookaPants · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_interesting-bit-of-family-news?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a7fee538-edfe-4e7f-bf88-b5fc24c90620Post:346e1a89-1a3e-44ed-b7dd-d60b625827a0">Re:Interesting bit of family news</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news: What was unintelligent? That a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina? That people who "try" and kill themselves are attention whores? Or that religious people get to have these same feelings, but get a pass because some Arab guy wrote a book 2000 years ago and idiots to this day follow it.
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

<div>Still don't get it, do you? </div>

WayneBrady · August 2012

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:[QUOTE]It seems like when Flany gets going it's destined to be a three pager plus.nbsp;Do you, Flany.I do find it interesting that you keep stating that people give you a hard time because of your small number of posts. I don't think that has anything to do with it. More like your aggressive and unintelligent perceiving comments. Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]
I read a thread a short while ago about how you don't believe gays should be allowed to get married and when one of the posters gave you a hard time on it, others stepped in to say that you deserve a pass. Why? Because you are a regular! So don't act like me being new here has nothing to do with this.

PMeg819 · August 2012

You know what, maybe a suicide attempt is being an attention whore. But you know what, some people have really crafted ways to appear happy and hide their pain. So that suicide attempt could be the first sign to someone that there is a problem and they do need help.

I've spoken about my mental health issues at times, and while I don't consider myself "severe" at all, I can tell you that there were many people in my life who were genuinely shocked I was having the problems I was. Becaues you know what- I was able to get up, go to work, function there, and be social somewhat. But internally, I was a mess. I never tried to commit suicide (depression left me so utterly exhausted I didn't have the strength for it) but when enough was enough and I got help, and came clean to those who loved me I am grateful no one ever said I was a faker. Or to just get over it. Or to take a pill and deal. I was encouraged to try therapy, medication, and make lifestyle changes. I am still supported in those choices I make today.

I can't tolerate people who are dismissive of mental health issues. It's a serious problem in this country and if anything, the recent shootings should be evidence that we have a seriously flawed mental health care program in this country.

Whatever the reason someone commits suicide and fails, it always needs to be taken seriously. Because the time that you don't take it seriously, is the time someone succeeds. And that person may be your loved one.

PMeg819 · August 2012

I said it regarding Nola's comments because I thought she had explained them well enough in the past. Sorry you weren't there for that discussion ages ago.

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:[QUOTE]I said it regarding Nola's comments because I thought she had explained them well enough in the past. Sorry you weren't there for that discussion ages ago. Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]
so blind intolerance is okay as long as the person is well spoken?

ReturnOfKuus · August 2012

It certainly helps.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2012

Many people don't agree with me here and have expressed that they don't .

We are all grown ups and can disagree and still be cool with each other. Flany, I say you are more than welcome to express your opinions and no one is all against you doing it. Just relax, and don't get all cray cray. It's really not that serious.

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:[QUOTE]It certainly helps. Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
How? What is a good reason that gay people should not get married?

ReturnOfKuus · August 2012

You asked if Nola's being well-spoken is the difference, and I said it helps.

HookaPants · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_interesting-bit-of-family-news?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a7fee538-edfe-4e7f-bf88-b5fc24c90620Post:c349748d-d173-4509-bb4d-96096d442b57">Re:Interesting bit of family news</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news: How? What is a good reason that gay people should not get married?
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

Can you see how

OMG TEH GAY IS A SIN!!!!!!!!! JAYSUS SEZ UR GOIN TA HAYLE. READ DA GOOD BOOK, REPENT AND BE HEALED BY THA LAWD!!!!!!!!!! *insert serpent dance* GOD STRUCK DOWN SODOM AND GOMORRAH TO BE RID OF THE LIKES OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! *pass serpent around*

is totally different from

It is my personal belief that marriage is between one man and one woman because it is so set forth by God; however, I don't condemn anyone for the way they live their lives. It is their cross to bear and they will answer to their God on judgement day.

Please say yes.

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

It is no different! The whole "they will answer to god" is the same as "they are going to hell". I don't believe that someone is a woman just because they say so. I'm sorry, but I don't believe it. I could say that I believe in my soul that I am Elvis reincarnated, but you would all say that I am crazy right? Why? That's how I feel! How dare you not believe me, maybe I should kill myself! Sounds crazy right?

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:Interesting bit of family news:[QUOTE]Many people don't agree with me here and have expressed that they don't .We are all grown ups and can disagree and still be cool with each other. Flany, I say you are more than welcome to express your opinions and no one is all against you doing it. Just relax, and don't get all cray cray. It's really not that serious. Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]
Why should I relax, I get attacked for every viewpoint I have expressed!
I wouldn't send my child on a flight by himself. Called crazy and made fun of. I have a child out if wedlock. Told I was giving him his milk fir free! Like you were all virgins before you got married. I saw a friend cheating on her husband and asked if I was wrong for keeping it to myself. Got called a liar by a lady that knew of a similar situation. I don't believe a man is a woman as long as he has a penis. Called hateful, even though I said I have nothing against people that have gone through sex changes. I think people that "attempt" to kill themselves multiple times are doing it for attention. Got called hateful. I get attacked for every post I make, yet you say we can discuss different view points without it turning into an argument? Please!

So Nola, what do you think happens to people that commit suicide? Does your God allow them into heaven or do they burn for eternity with the devil?

ReturnOfKuus · August 2012

You don't believe that someone identifies herself as a woman, and feels more comfortable being treated and viewed as a woman? This person would be lying... why, exactly?

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