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Snarky Brides

Vent-Age your getting married

Is anyone else utterly sick of being questioned about why there getting married so young? Just frusterates me to no end! I have found my soul mate, the date is set, please do not try to tell me when to have my wedding :) Also hate people assuming we are broke, living at home, and not able to fund our ownwedding. I own a house, two cars, we both pay for college, as well as for our upcoming wedding. Yay for love pushing us beyond what we thought possible, lol!
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Re: Vent-Age your getting married

  • You could get knocked up and then people will try to rush you into marriage. at least that's what happened to me and my FI. lol
  • People bitch about everything. People think we're nuts for doing Alaska for our honeymoon, and are shocked that we aren't doing something exotic.

    In terms of your age though, I think you should listen to the people closest to you, because they might have some very legitimate and valid concerns. For example, if my parents thought I was too young to get married, I would have to seriously re-think my decision to get married because I value their opinion above anyone else's and I know they only have my best interests and wishes at heart.
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  • In Response to Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]Is anyone else utterly sick of being questioned about why there getting married so young? Just frusterates me to no end! I have found my soul mate, the date is set, please do not try to tell me when to have my wedding :)
    Posted by Katshia[/QUOTE]

    I dont think people have a problem with your age.  I think they have a problem with irresponsibility, priorities and you asking them for money to pay for your wedding like you stated in your other post.  If you dont have enough money to have the wedding, then dont have it, or JOP it and no one will have anything to say.  When you come on here asking if its ok to ask everyone in your family for a "donation" for your wedding, thats when people are going to have an opinion on it.

    Just as you are sick of people questioning you about being too young, most of us "old ladies" are kind of sick of having to listen to teenage brides talk about soul mates and true love, but not having any money to start their lives together, or pay for the wedding.  We, or should I say I, would rather postpone my wedding if I lost my job, not expect my family to pay for it.
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  • Someone just got served.

    PS - I am 21, my fiance is 20, and nobody says anything about our age.  Probably because we own a house and are paying for the wedding ourselves.  Proving you are responsible goes a long way.
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  • Ha!  I saw when that was first posted but didn't read the rest.  Awesome.
  • KatshiaKatshia member
    10 Comments
    edited March 2010
    Heads up, Own a house and paying for my own wedding, as well as both of us through college, thank you very much :)  Was asking if it was okay to ask family member, as in my parents and grandparents, to help us out because we were short about 2k. Luckily got ideas from a view people and was able to cut the cost down and work something out, and dont have to rely on family helping us out.
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  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]People bitch about everything. People think we're nuts for doing Alaska for our honeymoon, and are shocked that we aren't doing something exotic. In terms of your age though, I think you should listen to the people closest to you, because they might have some very legitimate and valid concerns. For example, if my parents thought I was too young to get married, I would have to seriously re-think my decision to get married because I value their opinion above anyone else's and I know they only have my best interests and wishes at heart.
    Posted by shoegal715[/QUOTE]

    So jealouse, I would love to go to Alaska. I deffintally agree with considering what your parents and family think, luckily mine were all for it :)
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  • KatshiaKatshia member
    10 Comments
    edited March 2010
    In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Vent-Age your getting married : I dont think people have a problem with your age.  I think they have a problem with irresponsibility, priorities and you asking them for money to pay for your wedding like you stated in your other post.  If you dont have enough money to have the wedding, then dont have it, or JOP it and no one will have anything to say.  When you come on here asking if its ok to ask everyone in your family for a "donation" for your wedding, thats when people are going to have an opinion on it. Just as you are sick of people questioning you about being too young, most of us "old ladies" are kind of sick of having to listen to teenage brides talk about soul mates and true love, but not having any money to start their lives together, or pay for the wedding.  We, or should I say I, would rather postpone my wedding if I lost my job, not expect my family to pay for it.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    Have started our lives together. Was not asking anyone for a donation. I was asking parents and CLOSE relatives if they could help pay for anything, when they had already offered earlier. We denied them earlier because were doing great financially, but an unexpected job loss does mess up things. I dont know many others at 21 that own a house and two cars, both in school full time, and are on the path for good careers. Please get all of the details before you accuse. Thank you :)
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  • Joined on
    12-30-2009
    SAN ANTONIO
    5753977828443888
    Total posts: 37
    First: 3/4/2010

    Last: 3/23/2010


    In Response to Re: Is it horribly rude to ask immediate family members for help with paying for the wedding?:
    The only thing that is devoid of class is you asking for money.  There is nothing wrong with cutting back on your wedding or using an iPod for music.  Plenty of people do it and have lovely weddings and GASP, they pay for it themselves.
    Posted by duckie1905


    And there are people who have some form of intelligence too GASP!
    Sadly you wouldn't know :(




    Katshia, i think it's more like the statements above, rather than your accomplishments that are causing your loved ones to think you're too young.  Or maybe your later post about someone ending up in Divorce Court.
    I honestly had no idea how young you were until you came up with those. 
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  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]Katshia Joined on 12-30-2009 SAN ANTONIO 5753977828443888 Total posts: 37 First: 3/4/2010 Last: 3/23/2010 In Response to Re: Is it horribly rude to ask immediate family members for help with paying for the wedding? : The only thing that is devoid of class is you asking for money.  There is nothing wrong with cutting back on your wedding or using an iPod for music.  Plenty of people do it and have lovely weddings and GASP, they pay for it themselves. Posted by duckie1905 And there are people who have some form of intelligence too GASP! Sadly you wouldn't know :( Katshia, i think it's more like the statements above, rather than your accomplishments that are causing your loved ones to think you're too young.  Or maybe your later post about someone ending up in Divorce Court. I honestly had no idea how young you were until you came up with those. 
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    Never said it was my loved ones questing me. Everyone I know is beyond happy for us :) I mean people I do not know judging me based on age ( and guessing that by how I look.) As far as any comments you may view as immature, they were all valid responses to people who attacked me, if your going to be rude to me, I will be rude back. You would think if your claiming to be older and more mature then someone, you would not start something... I thought we were on here to help and give each other advice :)
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  • I wasn't starting a thing.

    YOU came on complaining about people thinking you were too young to be married.  I was helping you by pointing out examples that may be causing them to think that way.

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  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married : Have started our lives together. Was not asking anyone for a donation. I was asking parents and CLOSE relatives if they could help pay for anything, when they had already offered earlier. We denied them earlier because were doing great financially, but an unexpected job loss does mess up things. I dont know many others at 21 that own a house and two cars, both in school full time, and are on the path for good careers. Please get all of the details before you accuse. Thank you :)
    Posted by Katshia[/QUOTE]

    The only details that are needed to confirm my suspicion that you are too young, is that you are going to ask family to pay for your wedding, you getting fired from a job, and you putting down budget weddings by calling them "trashy" (ipod ceremony's, jop, etc) yet you cant afford your own.

    Lots of adults have unexpected job losses, but most people plan for that and have emergency funds for it.  They also will do any kind of job to make ends meet.  The fact that you stated you will not "lower" yourself to accept any job available is ridiculous.  If I got fired and needed money I would take anything.  McDonalds, Walmart, whatever.  And most people who have an unexpected job loss will postpone their wedding until it is feasible.  By you yelling like a baby that "FOR THE 100TH TIME IM NOT POSTPONING MY WEDDING" confirms you are immature.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • KatshiaKatshia member
    10 Comments
    edited March 2010
    In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]I wasn't starting a thing. YOU came on complaining about people thinking you were too young to be married.  I was helping you by pointing out examples that may be causing them to think that way.
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

     I apologize, I didnt mean to say you necessarily were starting a thing, I meant as in people in general on the other board. This is a COMPLETELY different issue though, it has nothing to do with that board and what other thought of me on the board. I really dont care if people on here think I'm 1 or 100. This is in regard to strangers I meet in person, who hear I'm getting married, and rant and rave about how I shouldn't be getting married at my age
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  • This old woman (44) thinks it is downright cute to see younger people bragging on paying for their own weddings. When you get all grown up, that is an expectation not an accomplishment.
  • Please, before you get married, learn how to communicate properly.

    Your title should use "you're", which is a contraction of you and are.
    Also, please learn the difference between there, their, and they're.

    You think I'm nitpicking, but to me that is a sign of ignorance and immaturity. Perhaps this is what others are seeing too, and why they are making comments.

    I'm 31. I couldn't imagine being married to the guy I was with 10 years ago, even though we were together for 6 years. Its different for everyone, but now I'm really glad I waited and grew up some first.
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  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]This old woman (44) thinks it is downright cute to see younger people bragging on paying for their own weddings. When you get all grown up, that is an expectation not an accomplishment.
    Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

    *snort* Touche.
  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married : Have started our lives together. Was not asking anyone for a donation. I was asking parents and CLOSE relatives if they could help pay for anything, when they had already offered earlier. We denied them earlier because were doing great financially, but an unexpected job loss does mess up things. I dont know many others at 21 that own a house and two cars, both in school full time, and are on the path for good careers. Please get all of the details before you accuse. Thank you :)
    Posted by Katshia[/QUOTE]

    All this post tells me is that you are incredibly good at spending money and accumulating debt. Being resposible and owning lots of crap are two different things. Owning a house and two cars don't make you responsible.
    Anniversary
  • I own 3 homes, 2 cars, a spaceship and a tv. So there!
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  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]I own 3 homes, 2 cars, a spaceship and a tv. So there!
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    Fly me to the moon!

    Let me sing among those stars!

    And no. I'm not MusicandLyrics. :D
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  • I 'm 24 and my FI is about to be 32, I have strangers ask me why I'm getting married so young also when they see my ring. I just reply that I'm doing it to piss off my parents and then thats the end of the conversation :) 

    Oh and both sides of parents are helping us pay for our wedding! They matched what we have saved for it 

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  • Why am I envisioning a shack in the woods and two beat up 1984 Yugos?
  • alexladalexlad member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited March 2010
    I wasn't saying that yall said it was wrong I was just pointing out my overall opinion to OP. It was in no way directed towards anyone :)
  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]And it's "Age you're getting married".
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! I didn't care about anything else in this post once I saw the title.

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  • HAHA. Dang well I'm 19 now and my fiance will be 21 when we get married (2 months away!) My parents are paying for the wedding, and I'm totally OK with that! If you guys are able to support yourselves financially, go for it! & traditionally, the brides family helps pay for the wedding. So I'm not sure what people are getting huffy about. People are being pretty rude :S 
  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]HAHA. Dang well I'm 19 now and my fiance will be 21 when we get married (2 months away!) My parents are paying for the wedding, and I'm totally OK with that! If you guys are able to support yourselves financially, go for it! & traditionally, the brides family helps pay for the wedding. So I'm not sure what people are getting huffy about. People are being pretty rude :S 
    Posted by brittanycherie[/QUOTE]

    Just for clarification, there is nothing wrong with parents helping with or paying for the wedding.  However, there is something wrong with asking for them to help.  If they offer, great.  If not, it is up to the bride and groom to pony up the funds.  It's incredibly rude to come out and ask for money for a glorified party.  Just because it has traditionally been the bride's family, this is no longer the case.

    As far as the connection to maturity is concerned, younger people tend to know less about ettiquette than their older counterparts.  So when young brides come on the boards complaining about how their parents wouldn't fund their wedding, it screams of immaturity and they get very little sympathy from the regulars (who see the same questions/problems/b*tch sessions over and over again.)
  • People are always on my case about getting married young too. It's whatever though. It's my life and I'll do with it what I feel is right. The people that get on me about my age + marriage are people who don't know me well or are complete strangers. I think it's great to find someone when you are young. It gives you more time with them, and I consider people who find their soulmate when they're young lucky.
  • In Response to Re: Vent-Age your getting married:
    [QUOTE]Why am I envisioning a shack in the woods and two beat up 1984 Yugos?
    Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]

    Thinking th same thing. I don't see any bank financing a house and two cars for two studebts, only one of which has a job.
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  • I'm just going to bypass the popcorn-eating references and say that I'm 19 and my FI is 22. Not a single person has said anything about us being too young, which I'm actually surprised about. Granted, we don't plan on actually getting married until I graduate college.
  • You know part of being a mature, responsible adult is accepting the fact that life isn't going to go your way 100% of the time. And sometimes, you're going to need to make a compromise or 2 to get things somewhat your way.

    Sometimes you need work jobs that are "beneath" you because earning some type of income is 1000 times better than having zero income while waiting for a job that's "good enough" to magically fall into your lap. And sometimes you have to just not go on your $1100 honeymoon that you can't afford and scale back on your "spashul" day that you're apparently not willing to postpone.

    But I'm guessing you totally missed that day in Mature Responsible Adult School. I heard there was a sale at Forever 21 going on.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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