Just Engaged and Proposals

Got engaged at prom!

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Re: Got engaged at prom!

  • Congratulations. My best friend got engaged at their high school graduation 7 years ago. They are still going strong . If your in love and committed to making it work you will be fine. All the best !!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:dec8150d-0551-4eac-ac67-b42a649c8388">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! :   Wow, pessimistic much? We can all hope for the best, I always do & things have a way of working themselves out.
    Posted by FreeSpirit666[/QUOTE]

    It is not pessimism, it is reality.  Look it up.  I'm not saying that every person who marries young gets divorced.  I'm saying that your chances go down if you are into adulthood.  My brother and SIL began dating at 15 and 16 and still waited until 26 and 27 to marry.  They readily admit that they would have been divorced if they had married young.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to Re:Got engaged at prom!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Got engaged at prom!:Gotta say, there is something distinctly immature about making fun of a high school kid. OP, congrats on your engagement!Posted by nextrightthingThat's the entire point of what PP's are saying.nbsp; Duhhhhhh...... Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

    By making fun of her, they are saying that it is immature to be making fun of her?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:81530261-ee0c-469d-ba01-6237c36e3dcc">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats!!!! I am kind of at a point where I agree with some people about getting engaged young and how I think some people should wait, but at the same time I just graduated from high school and my fiance asked me to marry him the day after my hs graduation. It really is about just being ready to take the next step and I hate it when people tell me I am to young to get married because, no im not, i am almost 19 and just because we are engaged the wedding is a little over 2 years away. The only thing that I am against with people getting engaged in high school is for the attention. I can not tell you how many stupid girls there were that just wanted attention from everyone so they would date a guy for 2 weeks, she would put on a $5 ring from walmart and said they were engaged and then the next week her whole life was ruined because the guy didnt love them anymore. How can you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them when you date for 2 weeks. Ugh, again thats the ONLY thing that pisses me off about being engaged in high school , because it isnt real half the time. So for me it ruined my excitement of telling all the people from hs cause i know they were all thinking the same thing about me. But again, congrats and good luck! I hope everything works out! Also, think about waiting a few years to get married, 1. gives you two time to make sure this is what you want 2. makes sure you will have the wedding that you want!!!!
    Posted by vbandell[/QUOTE]

    I know just how you feel! I see so many people that say they are engaged but they knew eachother for maybe a week, its crazy what people will do for attition these days. Anyway thank you!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:e8445c12-b005-458a-adce-bb334d2a570e">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mean, I've known some people who have been together since junionr high, but they didn't get engaged or married until after they were both done with their BS's. They are also both SUUUUUUPER religious, so I think that helped. FI's boss and his late wife were together from 14 on. Last December we sat together at the clinic Christmas party and she laughed at how silly they were to get married so young (19) and how amazed she was that it worked out. (We were all devastated when she was killed this spring in a freak hiking accident with her husband and their grandkids. He is LOST without her.) On the other hand, I've known lots of friends who have married at 19, 20, 21, had kids, and are already divorced single parents. FSIL got married at 19 and again at 21; we aren't sure if we think the second one will stick, but she's thinking about getting a tattoo, so *fingers crossed*!! FI's also got a co-worker who is in her mid-30s and has been married 3 times, and has 2 teenage kids. Her response to our engagement? (We're 29 and 27, btw.) "Make sure this is what you really want." Thanks... Just be sure that your will-be spouse is willing to let you grow and change, and will love you no matter what kind of woman you'll become. At 18, you ain't done growin' yet. And neither is he.
    Posted by runpipparun[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I think that a lot of people get divorced because they are not fully committed. Him and I have decided that no matter what happens we will stick with it and talk it through.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:598a8973-9f49-4c67-ae33-f6399cec5c4e">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congratulations. My best friend got engaged at their high school graduation 7 years ago. They are still going strong . If your in love and committed to making it work you will be fine. All the best !!
    Posted by Psych819[/QUOTE]

    Thank you!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:1ec0e0af-4a88-41b4-b4d9-e2ba95c47b2c">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats on your engagement.  I agree that you should have a long engagement.  I'm 24 and originally planned a short one (6 months), but it had to be pushed back and now I have a little over a year.  Enjoy your engagement Sugarplum and flowerpetals!
    Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]

    Thank you and I am glad that I have a longer engagement. I like the whole planning experience, and I am really happy because my FH is really getting involved with it to!
  • Congrats! I am also engaged and in high school. Yes, a lot of people will be against you but don't rush you're engagement. We decided to wait till 2016 so 1. we can get married on the day we met and 2. so I can have time to complete college before med school. So I'm here for you to talk to and Congrats again!

  • Congratulations Sugarplum97!

    Tell me about your screen name, were you born in 1997?

    image

    image
  • Congrats all you newly engaged ladies! :) Take your time and really enjoy your youth together! No need to rush :)
    southern girl Pictures, Images and Photos
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:81530261-ee0c-469d-ba01-6237c36e3dcc">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats!!!! I am kind of at a point where I agree with some people about getting engaged young and how I think some people should wait, but at the same time I just graduated from high school and my fiance asked me to marry him the day after my hs graduation. It really is about just being ready to take the next step and I hate it when people tell me I am to young to get married because, no im not, i am almost 19 and just because we are engaged the wedding is a little over 2 years away. The only thing that I am against with people getting engaged in high school is for the attention. I can not tell you how many stupid girls there were that just wanted attention from everyone so they would date a guy for 2 weeks, she would put on a $5 ring from walmart and said they were engaged and then the next week her whole life was ruined because the guy didnt love them anymore. How can you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them when you date for 2 weeks. Ugh, again thats the ONLY thing that pisses me off about being engaged in high school , because it isnt real half the time. So for me it ruined my excitement of telling all the people from hs cause i know they were all thinking the same thing about me. But again, congrats and good luck! I hope everything works out! Also, think about waiting a few years to get married, 1. gives you two time to make sure this is what you want 2. makes sure you will have the wedding that you want!!!!
    Posted by vbandell[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif" border="0" alt="Sealed" title="Sealed" />
  • Congratulations! Take it slow, you've got your whole life to spend with your FH. So make the plans and take your time and enjoy planning! We are having a long engagement, it will be 2 years by the time we tie the knot. Either way enjoy!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:a206f15a-4177-46a0-9c2f-615ad6000243">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : Thanks, I am going to post a picture as soon as I get a good one, the ones I have from prom have the wrong ring. He had sent the real one off to get sized they said it would be done in time but it was not back yet. So my mom gave him her promise ring my dad had given her! I have the real one now but I enjoyed having hers to it was special.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    awwwwwwwwwwwww thats sooo sweet
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:f4aea15b-3923-41c3-b75d-6d352f488f91">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats! I am also engaged and in high school. Yes, a lot of people will be against you but don't rush you're engagement. We decided to wait till 2016 so 1. we can get married on the day we met and 2. so I can have time to complete college before med school. So I'm here for you to talk to and Congrats again!
    Posted by SouthernBride17[/QUOTE]

    OOOH We're gonna wait till I finish school so 2018 and we're gonna do it the day we met too :D So exciting
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:6246728d-c82d-446c-91fb-9022aed36e62">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]why haven't you told your parents, flowerpetals?
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    Because I only told them that I'm gay not too long ago so I want to give them some time first
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:1ec0e0af-4a88-41b4-b4d9-e2ba95c47b2c">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats on your engagement.  I agree that you should have a long engagement.  I'm 24 and originally planned a short one (6 months), but it had to be pushed back and now I have a little over a year.  Enjoy your engagement Sugarplum and flowerpetals!
    Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! And that is a beautiful picture you two look sooo happy <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
  • SugarPlum97...please tell me the "97" in your SN isn't the year you were born.  If so, that makes you what?  15?  There's a very good reason people are against young marriages on here...because they very, very rarely work (and your chances are almost non-existant at 15).  Not to mention, you can't even legally get married for another 3 years, so why even get engaged at this point?  What do your parents think about this??

    Point is...we've all been your age before.  We all know what "love" is like at that age, and we all know how unstable and ever changing it is.  That's why we can tell you that it's a very bad idea to even be considering marriage now.  No matter how mature you think you are for your age, you are not ready for this type of commitment. 

    The only 'congratulations' I can offer in good faith is the hope that you have a very long engagement and wish you the best at beating the astronomical odds that are against you. 
    Anniversary
  • Congrats... your engagement story is too cute.

    As for the other responses... don't see what her age has to do with anything.  She didn't ask for advice, she came on here sharing her excited news..way to deflate someone's happiness.  Also, Fi and I have been together over 13 years... stared dating at 18, had our 1st baby at 19 and now 3 kids later, we're getting married.  My high school friend got married at 18 and now, 13 years later as well, her and her hubby are still happily married with 2 kids.  Look for the positive.  No matter what age, divorce happens.  I think it's also great your parents are so supportive.  Young love is a beautiful thing.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:e59c66bc-dceb-4ab7-a224-7f24188f58bc">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats... your engagement story is too cute. As for the other responses... don't see what her age has to do with anything.  She didn't ask for advice, she came on here sharing her excited news..way to deflate someone's happiness.  Also, Fi and I have been together over 13 years... stared dating at 18, had our 1st baby at 19 and now 3 kids later, we're getting married.  My high school friend got married at 18 and now, 13 years later as well, her and her hubby are still happily married with 2 kids.  Look for the positive.  No matter what age, divorce happens.  I think it's also great your parents are so supportive.  Young love is a beautiful thing.
    Posted by librababy[/QUOTE]

    Thank you so much it means a lot that you understand this! I have been getting so much flack, all of my family got married young and I am really excited about it I am working super hard this summer to graduate next may so I can get married in December 2013 (I am doing a years extra worth of work).  My FH and I are so excited, he is doing everything that I have asked of him like getting a job so that when we do get married we have a fair amount of money.  We have already told each other that no matter what we will not divorce so many people treat marriage like a game and we know it will not be easy at all, but we love each other and we want to live our lives together.  Thank you! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
  • Sugarplum97Sugarplum97 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:42b8a758-6ac5-4dbc-9cf9-a50adada72a4">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]SugarPlum97...please tell me the "97" in your SN isn't the year you were born.  If so, that makes you what?  15?  There's a very good reason people are against young marriages on here...because they very, very rarely work (and your chances are almost non-existant at 15).  Not to mention, you can't even legally get married for another 3 years, so why even get engaged at this point?  What do your parents think about this?? Point is...we've all been your age before.  We all know what "love" is like at that age, and we all know how unstable and ever changing it is.  That's why we can tell you that it's a very bad idea to even be considering marriage now.  No matter how mature you think you are for your age, you are not ready for this type of commitment.  The only 'congratulations' I can offer in good faith is the hope that you have a very long engagement and wish you the best at beating the astronomical odds that are against you. 
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. You can get married however young as long as your parents sign.  Not every young person has fake love. My FH and I ARE deeply in love and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive. Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but in the old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now. I am graduating next year and I am ready for marriage and my FH and I will NOT get a divorce. We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us. We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it. My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it.  I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:2b6018b0-c081-44b1-b287-ad4db0650e82">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : OOOH We're gonna wait till I finish school so 2018 and we're gonna do it the day we met too :D So exciting
    Posted by flowerpetalss2[/QUOTE]

    So cool I am so happy for you message me please.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:3971bfac-28bc-41a8-b1fd-d57f16a9801e">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats all you newly engaged ladies! :) Take your time and really enjoy your youth together! No need to rush :)
    Posted by AbbieL92[/QUOTE]

    Thank you so much!
  • I came on here because I was excited about being engaged. I thought that other people that are engaged or married would understand how exciting it is and that they would at least say congratulations even if they don't agree. For those of you who have been supportive and understand and that have taken up for me. Thank you sooooo much it means a lot to me. Smile
  • OK - ALL your sisters got married at 17?  How many sisters do you have?

    If I had married the guy I was with at 17, I'd be married to a gay guy.  Please know that people's comments are only concern - for those of us who are older, we know that we are NOT the people we were at 15.  Hell, I'm not the person I was when I was 25!  On one hand, you grow up with the person when you marry young.  On the other, if you wait til you're older, you know yourself first.  Take some time and enjoy young adulthood - there's a lot I would have missed out on if I had gotten married young.

    Also, you make me feel like a dinosaur - when I started my current job you were 2 years old.
    imageAnniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:89e0cb02-f372-4725-ac42-f32aa14367fb">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. <strong>You can get married however young as long as your parents sign. </strong> Not every young person has fake love. My FH and I ARE deeply in love and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive. Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but<strong> in the old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now</strong>. I am graduating next year and I am ready for marriage and my<strong> FH and I will NOT get a divorce.</strong> We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us. We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it. <strong>My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. </strong>When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it<strong>. </strong> I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    1. In most states, 17 is the absolute minimum to get married, even with parent's permission, so I'd look into that.  In this day and age, I'd also seriously side-eye any parent that would let their kids get married any younger than that anyways, it's irresponsible to the point of bordering on child abuse.

    2. Yes, in the 'old days' people got married younger.  <strong>This is not the old days.</strong>  Also, there were fewer divorces, not because people wanted to get divorced less, but because divorces were highly stigmatized and women couldn't support themselves without a husband, so they stayed married even if they were miserable.  That's not exactly something to idolize.  Also in the old days, kids were working at 14, and completely self sufficient by the time they got married.  Are you and your FI supporting yourselves 100%, or will you be once you get married?  (ie, not receiving a single penny from either of your parents, not being on any of their insurance plans, etc)

    3.  No one gets married thinking they will get a divorce.  Just because you say you won't get divorced doesn't mean you won't.  I'm sure all the other 15 year olds said the same thing an a majority of them still did it.  Not saying you will, but it's naive and immature to think it can't happen to you.  If you want to beat the odds, you need to recognize that there ARE odds, and then make a plan to deal with them.

    4.  Your sisters and your parents aren't you and your FI.  H's grandparents got married at 16 and 19 and were married for over 40 years.  His cousin on the other hand got married at 18 and was divorced before she was 20.  Your parent's marriage is NOT a measure of how yours will turn out.  Yes, they can be good role model, but that does not automatically mean what works for them will work for you, and it certainly doesn't mean that just because they succeeded that you will too.  To comfort yourself in that notion and not realize what today's odds you are facing is extremely naive.

    Look, I'm not saying all of this to make you feel bad, or even to talk you out of it, I just want to make sure you are prepared for what you are getting into because it doesn't seem like you are.  You need to stop comforting your decisions with what other people have done, realize that the odds against you are astronomical and go from there.  I hope you at least consider what us 'old folk' are saying.  Even if you don't agree, it will help give you some perspective and maybe even help you in the long run to make your marriage successful.  I really do hope you are the exception and not the rule in this case.  Good luck OP.
    Anniversary
  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:89e0cb02-f372-4725-ac42-f32aa14367fb">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. You can get married however young as long as your parents sign. <strong> Not every young person has fake love. My FH and I ARE deeply in love and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive.</strong> Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but in the <strong>old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now.</strong> I am graduating next year and I am ready for marriage and my FH and I will NOT get a divorce. We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us. We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it. My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it.  I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    <div>1) Nobody is saying that young people can't fall in love. But there is far more to a marriage than being "deeply in love." Many people who are in love do not make it. I was engaged at 23 to a man I was passionately in love with. Unfortunately, the reality of the world put too much strain and stress on our relationship, and the difficult times outweighed the lovey-dovey times. His workaholic-ness. My inability to figure out what I wanted to do in life as a career. I wanted to save money and eat at home, because I can cook. He preferred ethnic food and always wanted to eat out. He took of his pants in the kitchen ALL THE TIME and never cleaned up. I wanted to start dancing again, and he was jealous of the men I went swing dancing with. This man that I never imagined myself without was turning into somebody I couldn't live WITH. Our physical passion kept us together WAY longer than we should have stayed together. But eventually I realized that he actually was NEVER supportive of me figuring my sh!t out and being my own person, like with dancing. And I left, and six years later, I found someone who supports me, comes to my races, has tried dancing, eats what I fix, and is somebody I can mutually supportive.</div><div>
    </div><div>Kids who are in high school are unable to comprehend what it takes to survive in the world, because they live under the umbrella of their parents. They have never had to hold a job, pay a bill, make a sacrifice of any consequence for the good of someone else. All of those things add stress to a relationship that teenagers cannot truly fathom until they've been on their own and learned to be independent and self-reliant.</div><div>
    </div><div>As for why marriages survived in the early 20th century? Easy. People had different expectations. Women wanted a man to support them, as their parents would not be able to do so for long and they had no means to do so themselves.  They had no expectations of "happiness." Men wanted a woman to tend his house and cook for him and give him children. Not until the women's lib movement did people's expectations of marriage shift to that of "self-fulfillment" and "happiness." People began marrying expecting more than just economic satisfaction and domestic satisfaction. They wanted emotional bliss, sexual satisfaction, and whatever else would make them happy.</div><div>
    </div><div>EASY.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: So unless your FI is loaded and you are marrying him because your parents are thrusting you upon the world penniless and alone and all you want is to be secure financially, your argument holds no water. If you want to be "happy," you are as vulnerable as the rest of us to the divorce trend.</div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:89e0cb02-f372-4725-ac42-f32aa14367fb">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. You can get married however young as long as your parents sign.  Not every young person has fake love. My FH and I ARE deeply in love and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive. Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but in the old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now. I am graduating next year and I am ready for marriage and my FH and I will NOT get a divorce. We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us. We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it. My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it.  I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    That was also a time where women went straight from mom and dad's house to their husband's house and it was understood that her purpose in life was to take care of him, the house and as many kids as she could squeeze out.

    Times change and today it is borderline stupid for a woman to not have a way to support herself if she has to.  What if your husband loses his job and can't find work for a few years (a very real concern now) or God forbid dies, leaving you and possibly kids on your own?  Are you planning on continuing your education, learning a trade, working?

    I was your age once also and remember highschool love.  I also know that as a highschooler, I thought I'd go to UC, marry a hometown guy and never leave the west side of Cincinnati.  Had I gotten married in highschool, that is exactly what would have happened and I wouldn't have thought twice because that is what everyone from my neighborhood, family and circle of friends did.  I would have missed out on a life that I didn't even dare to dream of.  A life that includes going away to law school, marrying a guy from California, living on the east coast, picking up and going on weekend trips up and down the eastern seaboard, going to Europe for vacations, voluntarily ending my legal career in Cleveland where I was very successful to start over in Philadelphia where I knew nobody and knowing that I would be alright because after everything else, I had learned the excitement of taking chances.

    Even if you don't want to leave, here are some things that every person should do before they are married.
    1. live on their own
    2. be responsible for a rent payment for their apartment or house (even better - a mortgage)
    3. be responsible for paying all of your bills (insurance, electric, heat, water, etc.)
    4. buy your own car
    5. be responsible for your bank accounts including balancing a checkbook
    6. learn to invest

    I am sure that some other ladies can add to this list (and hope they will because I know i am missing some things)

    I know people are going to say that you can learn all of this stuff together, but the point is that you have to have time in your life where you are 100% responsible for these things.  Trust us also when we tell you that who you are as a teen and who you are at 25 are worlds apart.  It is very tricky for two people to make these changes and still be able to fulfill eachother's needs and desires in a spouse.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:1e0fb532-336c-4437-b81b-277ab56491a6">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : That was also a time where women went straight from mom and dad's house to their husband's house and it was understood that her purpose in life was to take care of him, the house and as many kids as she could squeeze out. Times change and today it is borderline stupid for a woman to not have a way to support herself if she has to.  What if your husband loses his job and can't find work for a few years (a very real concern now) or God forbid dies, leaving you and possibly kids on your own?  Are you planning on continuing your education, learning a trade, working? I was your age once also and remember highschool love.  I also know that as a highschooler, I thought I'd go to UC, marry a hometown guy and never leave the west side of Cincinnati.  Had I gotten married in highschool, that is exactly what would have happened and I wouldn't have thought twice because that is what everyone from my neighborhood, family and circle of friends did.  I would have missed out on a life that I didn't even dare to dream of.  A life that includes going away to law school, marrying a guy from California, living on the east coast, picking up and going on weekend trips up and down the eastern seaboard, going to Europe for vacations, voluntarily ending my legal career in Cleveland where I was very successful to start over in Philadelphia where I knew nobody and knowing that I would be alright because after everything else, I had learned the excitement of taking chances. Even if you don't want to leave, here are some things that every person should do before they are married. 1. live on their own 2. be responsible for a rent payment for their apartment or house (even better - a mortgage) 3. be responsible for paying all of your bills (insurance, electric, heat, water, etc.) 4. buy your own car 5. be responsible for your bank accounts including balancing a checkbook 6. learn to invest I am sure that some other ladies can add to this list (and hope they will because I know i am missing some things) I know people are going to say that you can learn all of this stuff together, but the point is that you have to have time in your life where you are 100% responsible for these things.  Trust us also when we tell you that who you are as a teen and who you are at 25 are worlds apart.  It is very tricky for two people to make these changes and still be able to fulfill eachother's needs and desires in a spouse.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Word. To all of it.</div><div>
    </div><div>Saying you won't go to bed angry is fluff. It's easy to make promises like those (much hard to keep them). It's very hard to make concrete plans for the future, involving education/jobs/family/children/finances/health, etc., and even harder stick to those, particularly without disagreements. Things will come up that you will have never even considered at this point in your lives.</div>
    image
  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:1e0fb532-336c-4437-b81b-277ab56491a6">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : That was also a time where women went straight from mom and dad's house to their husband's house and it was understood that her purpose in life was to take care of him, the house and as many kids as she could squeeze out. Times change and today it is borderline stupid for a woman to not have a way to support herself if she has to.  What if your husband loses his job and can't find work for a few years (a very real concern now) or God forbid dies, leaving you and possibly kids on your own?  Are you planning on continuing your education, learning a trade, working? I was your age once also and remember highschool love.  I also know that as a highschooler, I thought I'd go to UC, marry a hometown guy and never leave the west side of Cincinnati.  Had I gotten married in highschool, that is exactly what would have happened and I wouldn't have thought twice because that is what everyone from my neighborhood, family and circle of friends did.  I would have missed out on a life that I didn't even dare to dream of.  A life that includes going away to law school, marrying a guy from California, living on the east coast, picking up and going on weekend trips up and down the eastern seaboard, going to Europe for vacations, voluntarily ending my legal career in Cleveland where I was very successful to start over in Philadelphia where I knew nobody and knowing that I would be alright because after everything else, I had learned the excitement of taking chances. Even if you don't want to leave, here are some things that every person should do before they are married. 1. live on their own 2. be responsible for a rent payment for their apartment or house (even better - a mortgage) 3. be responsible for paying all of your bills (insurance, electric, heat, water, etc.) 4. buy your own car 5. be responsible for your bank accounts including balancing a checkbook 6. learn to invest I am sure that some other ladies can add to this list (and hope they will because I know i am missing some things) I know people are going to say that you can learn all of this stuff together, but the point is that you have to have time in your life where you are 100% responsible for these things.  Trust us also when we tell you that who you are as a teen and who you are at 25 are worlds apart.  It is very tricky for two people to make these changes and still be able to fulfill eachother's needs and desires in a spouse.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]


    I agree with this post.  I have been with the same man since I was 16, I am now 24  (still pretty young to get married IMO).  Although we have been together I insisted on living my own life, I moved away to go to school and work because I wanted my own career.  I had my own apartment, car, bills, and he had his own.  I enjoyed the freedom of "single" adulthood and I probably would have really missed not having it.  And through my experiences I feel that I am intellectually and emotionally a completley different person (as is he) than I was at 16.  Anyways, my point is I absolutley believe that you can make a relationship work at your age and I don't think anyone on here is trying to tell you to dump the guy.  However, you have to be sure to fulfill your own needs may they be intellectual, physical, or emotional before you can truely commit your life to someone.  If you have no doubt in your mind that you will be fullfilling your own needs with marriage at a young age then go for it if you have any doubt than wait...no harm in waiting and it doesn't make your relationship any less special.  But in the end it's really up to you and none of us really know better than you.
  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:89e0cb02-f372-4725-ac42-f32aa14367fb">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. You can get married however young as long as your parents sign.  Not every young person has fake love. <strong>My FH and I ARE deeply in love</strong> and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive. Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but in the old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now. I am graduating next year and<strong> I am ready for marriage and my FH and I will NOT get a divorce. We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us. We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it</strong>. My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. <strong>When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it.</strong>  I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm happy that you're happy, but try to understand that pretty much everyone in love at 15 is *deeply* in love. No one can dispute how you feel about each other cause we've all been there. When I was 15 my bf had the coolest mohawk and I loved him sooo much I would have done anything for him. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Looking back I can see I was just a moron flushed with hormones and a strong desire to set out on my own, but at 15 no one could tell me I was wrong.</div><div>
    </div><div>You think you're ready for marriage, fair enough. I'm not going to touch that one because I think PPs have expanded on it enough, but you cant possibly predict the future. You can make any promise you want but you never know what can happen. Especially when you aren't done growing up.</div><div>
    </div><div>Sometimes getting married young does mean you will grow apart. In fact, it happens to the majority of young couples. Also, there's nothing wrong with having a past. It's part of what defines you as a person. It would be a damn shame to rob yourself of those reckless, amazing, memorable life experiences. You have the rest of your life to settle down, but you're only young once.</div><div>
    </div><div>Best of luck!</div><div>
    </div><div>EDIT- I realize this post may come across as harsh, I just tried to be as concise as possible. Dont be offended, I'm just a stranger on the internet.</div><div>
    </div>
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