AYG?

ski2play · February 2012

My X-husband (of 22 years) is coming to our wedding this summer.

NuggetBrain · February 2012

I didn't have an ex to invite. We invited Noodle's ex (his only one) and she came with her husband. Although we also went to their wedding. She's a cool chick and they broke things off like, right after high school almost.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · February 2012

Two of my exes were in our bridal party, lol.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

I don't care about most wedding-related etiquette. As long as there's good food and free water/soda, I'm happy. Part of me didn't even want a wedding because people get so uptight about them. I don't care about TY notes, or table visits, cash bars, whatever. It was stressful having to handle all that crap that people might get offended over. The TY notes were the worse.

ski2play · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:98a96928-64bc-47a0-b67b-b2ebf81d734f">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]Two of my exes were in our bridal party, lol.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

So I guess my xhusbands offer to walk me down the aisle wasn't so crazy? We are good friends but I just couldn't do it. Our son will walk me down.

dmiller9274 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:9a362280-1736-4127-9e48-9780d40dc8b4">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : I can be pretty apathetic sometimes. I mean, I care, and I vote, but I know in a few years it will all change anyway. People start their campaigns almost immediately after elections are over these days.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
But the things they do while in office have lasting impacts. If the president appoints someone as Supreme Court Justice, we're stuck with that person until they're in diapers so it's a good idea to make sure you share similar beliefs as the person you are voting for.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

I didn't have any exes to invite to the wedding, and H isn't friends with any of his, so that took care of that problem for us. I wasn't sure of one of his female friends when we first got together (right after H and I got together she started inviting him out to lunch and calling to chat, whereas she never did so before), but she turned out to be ok and it wasn't weird inviting her, although now that I think about it, we haven't seen her since the wedding.

Blueyed228 · February 2012

I guess my thoughts on it are that just because it doesnt bother you, doesnt mean its not still bad etiquette and that im some asshole because it bothers me.

NuggetBrain · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:1b817a87-1cd6-4ae6-9b75-fd10ea3978d3">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : So I guess my xhusbands offer to walk me down the aisle wasn't so crazy? We are good friends but I just couldn't do it. Our son will walk me down.
Posted by ski2play[/QUOTE]

That's just...like. Really? "Hey dude, I'm done with her so here you go?" Because that's totally how it would have seemed to me.

Celles · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:6af4bbe5-4747-473e-a50a-527e55c09925">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : That's because it's true! :) I can understand why some people aren't super interested in politics, but don't you at least want to know wtf is going on in your country and whotf could potentially be your leader?? Or are people just really that apathetic?
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

You take that back, Mara!

;)

midgetthemighty · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:1b817a87-1cd6-4ae6-9b75-fd10ea3978d3">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : So I guess my xhusbands offer to walk me down the aisle wasn't so crazy? We are good friends but I just couldn't do it. Our son will walk me down.
Posted by ski2play[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's a little extreme. I wouldn't be able to do that either. Pretty awkward if you ask me. Much better for your son to do that.

ski2play · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:6fa4c6c0-b140-4ba1-b124-df4f904f87bf">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : Yeah, that's a little extreme. I wouldn't be able to do that either. Pretty awkward if you ask me. Much better for your son to do that.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Nugget and Midge, so agree with both of you. But then he wasn't know for his "brilliant brainstorms". One of many reasons he is the X. I think it is awkward that FI and my kids want him to be at the wedding, but oh well, I am banking on the party line, "that you won't even notice he is there you'll be so busy" mentality.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:3f4ce077-7852-43cb-a03b-710deec46dc3">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess my thoughts on it are that just because it doesnt bother you, doesnt mean its not still bad etiquette and that im some asshole because it bothers me.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

For me, I just don't get why some things bother people, like cash bars. I understand the arguments behind the hate, but I still don't comprehend why people let it bother them. And things like registries seem so trivial to me, so again, it baffles me when people get up in arms about it.

When I see the ginormous threads bashing someone, I find myself thinking what you said you think yesterday about peple who are bullied - get the fvck over it. Just doesn't compute with me, although I still try to follow the "major" rules.

Blueyed228 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:9d58bfc9-d9d2-48c7-9438-a7b461dd11cb">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : For me, I just don't get why some things bother people, like cash bars. I understand the arguments behind the hate, but I still don't comprehend why people let it bother them. And things like registries seem so trivial to me, so again, it baffles me when people get up in arms about it. When I see the ginormous threads bashing someone, I find myself thinking what you said you think yesterday about peple who are bullied - get the fvck over it. Just doesn't compute with me, although I still try to follow the "major" rules.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I dont care enough to fight with randos over it, but when it happens to me, it bothers me and I judge it. It doesnt bother me enough to ruin my day or anything, but im not wrong to be slightly offended at bad etiquette. And I will talk about you for doing it.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

Well yeah I'll likely roll my eyes at something I find tacky, but I was surprised when I first joined TK to see how worked up people got over things I always thought to be minor infractions.

Girlie1030 · February 2012

Mara, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm apathetic, because I am actually interested in the presidential elections. Here's the thing though, my job is much more secure with a Republican in office, but I'm sure that if I were to research I would find I'd be more in agreement with a Democratic nominee. It's easy enough to say "Vote your conscience, vote for the greater good, you asshat" but when you've watched the people and friends that you've worked with for over a decade lose their job shortly after the last election, it's suddenly not so easy.

That's of course not an excuse for why I don't educate myself on the issues or candidates, but just something to explain that it's not that I don't completely not give a rat's ass.

Celles · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:fd950ea1-aff2-4bef-ad9c-608a6e8b520f">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well yeah I'll likely roll my eyes at something I find tacky, but I was surprised when I first joined TK to see how worked up people got over things I always thought to be minor infractions.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

Before it took a turn for the serious (emotional abuse, etc.), I was going to say something on Adra's thread on E the other day about how everyone was all "PAYING = HOSTING." If that's true, then why is it that PAYING != HOSTING in random invitation threads, when some bride's parents or in-laws are insisting on being listed as hosts even if they aren't actually paying for anything? Either paying = hosting or paying != hosting, but it seems to me that the party line is whatever allows the majority to gang up on the OP.

Smash Adams · February 2012

I told XH that he could invite his XGF to the wedding if he wanted. Now I'm glad that he didn't, seeing as how he was probably fuucking her.

I hate when AYGs are made up of flaming mostly one off posters. I have no logical reason for that.

Blueyed228 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:6e683adb-6e95-4f1f-95f8-d92b520c3fb1">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : Some social circles are more ok with letting some etiquette things slide. That is probably why some things that get other people worked up don't bother you and vice versa.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

To add, if someone asks about a cash bar and people say its no big deal (because it isn't the in their area /social circle) but it is a HUGE no-no in OPs area, then that's wrong to me.

Celles · February 2012

Girlie, I can kind of relate. As a whole, my company is very right-leaning. Our PAC (of which I am emphatically not a member) contributed substantially to SOPA/PIPA, and our PAC speakers are always well-known conservatives. So, I understand feeling torn between your personal and professional interests. At the same time, I still vote my conscience. I can't imagine not voting my conscience, because the issues at stake are often much larger than me. I want to feel that I contributed in some small way to making the country better than it is now -- or, at least, knowing that I didn't help make it any worse. I don't plan on having children (I say now; I change my mind every few months) so my vote is my legacy. It sounds really cheesy, but it's true.

mica178 · February 2012

I hate cash bars. I hate reading the party line over and over again. If I see the same advice given more than a few times in a thread, I just don't write in the thread. Why be the 12th person to say the same thing?

Celles -- I think there are some parents who cannot/do not financially contribute to the wedding but think of themselves as hosts because they are very involved in the planning. I want to say that Kristin#s' wedding was like that. You can host without paying. And you can pay without hosting. I think that rather than explain the concept that people who contribute money to the wedding get a say gets boiled down to the party line of paying = hosting, but that's one of my least favorite party lines.

specialk84 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:975fda80-81e5-40de-b88b-127dfef78c0e">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is a lame one but Tifffannieeeeeee posted this on our month board. <clicky. She was asking for advice about if she and H should buy a house. She admitted to a certain amount of debt and even being in collections. When everyone advised her of their concerns regarding her financial stability she was all "ZOMG! Totes, I know! Thanks for the great advise. So should I like, let H apply for a home loan?" She might be the stupidest person I have ever 'met' on TK.
Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]

I'm catching up, but she kept writing "next store" instead of "next door." I now feel validated for thinking she seemed kind of dim.

Blueyed228 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:88021c1b-e3b0-4bc7-b14a-5529abbf7c5e">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]I told XH that he could invite his XGF to the wedding if he wanted. Now I'm glad that he didn't, seeing as how he was probably fuucking her. I hate when AYGs are made up of flaming mostly one off posters. I have no logical reason for that.
Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]

Or no flames at all.

Smash Adams · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:b0ca442f-6971-4d5f-80e4-2c9fbb4b63df">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG? : Or no flames at all.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
Yeah. Or that too. But I'm not contributing shiit because I have no flames, so it's a stupid complaint on my part.

LesPaul · February 2012

14 members of XH's family attended our wedding, but nowayinhell XH himself was going to be invited. Same for DH's XW - no reason for either of them to be there.

specialk84 · February 2012

I do get worked up about wedding etiquette. I tried so hard to do things right for my own wedding, and it just boggles my mind that other people, such as my BIL and his wife, just don't give a shiit about treating their guests well.

I kind of get cash bars if they're normal in your social circle, but I still don't like them. I fail to see why guests should pay for one part of your wedding. I genuinely do not see why alcohol should be treated any differently than centerpieces, dinner, or anything else the host traditionally pays for.

Nebb · February 2012

*yawn*

lbarr088 · February 2012

Now to make AYG even more of a yawn....

What do you all think about beer and wine paid by the host while guests pay for cocktails? (That's what I'm doing and honestly I feel awful about it).

Blueyed228 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:891fa5a2-7928-49b7-8233-ad4e72a09834">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]Now to make AYG even more of a yawn.... What do you all think about beer and wine paid by the host while guests pay for cocktails? (That's what I'm doing and honestly I feel awful about it).
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Personally I would only offer what I am paying for.

amys325 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a9b1298-792a-40fc-a542-0dcc3fe0616dPost:891fa5a2-7928-49b7-8233-ad4e72a09834">Re: AYG?</a>:
[QUOTE]Now to make AYG even more of a yawn.... What do you all think about beer and wine paid by the host while guests pay for cocktails? (That's what I'm doing and honestly I feel awful about it).
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

I think most people would tell you to just host what you can. Just offer beer and wine and don't even offer cocktails.

However, I think it's nice to give people the option.

AYG?

Re: AYG?

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