Most states have the 51 rule. That means if a venue (like a bar) has the 51% sign showing, it is illegal to carry there. The 51 rule means that the venue gets most if its profit from alcohol sales. You can choose a venue like that to hopefully deter some from carrying.
Also, I don't know how it works from state to state, but in Texas you can't just go put your gun in your car if you carry it to a place that doesn't allow carrying. In Texas, you can put your gun in your car but it has to be in a locked box that is not part of your car (no glovebox or middle console). Again, I'm not 100% sure about Washington.
I would personally choose a venue that doesn't allow carrying. If they have the CHL, they should know the rules of where they can carry. If you choose a venue, like a bar, school, etc., they should know firearms are not allowed on the premises. If they still carry, it will be up to the venue to escort them out. I would make sure that you have security to keep an eye on people and take care of any issues that may arise.
Good luck!
Exactly this. My venue has it posted right as you walk in the door. It is a felony in the state of Texas to consume even a SIP of alcohol and carry. I am also a CHL holder, and I would never dream of bringing a gun to a wedding.
A bunch of people are making the point about "responsible" gun owners, but if the family in question actually behaves the way she describes, that's all out the window. I mean, that's great if you and every gun owner you know actually is responsible, but even in a family home, if you have people actually "tossing" a gun on the table, or leaving it out around children, automatically these are not responsible gun owners.
It could be that OP is just overly sensitive and doesn't like guns, so just knowing people carry could be enough to make her nervous, but it doesn't take all that much perusing around news stories to see the number of kids involved with accidental shootings to realize that there are a hell of a lot of irresponsible gun owners out there. If this family is irresponsible with guns and behaves in the manner described, which is blatantly irresponsible and probably violates laws at times, steps should be taken to protect children and other guests, just as there have been posts about not inviting known thieves to weddings to protect other guests.
Not gonna lie, I'm definitely overly sensitive about a lot of things. But I'm also not exaggerating the family's behavior, so I feel justified in this case.
@bangbang. You have no right to bring a gun to a private event when the host has told you not to. The same way you have no right to attend my wedding in jeans, in your own wedding gown, or with 15 uninvited cousins. My making those demands may be rude, but you have no affirmative right to override the will of your host at a private party. The only right you have is to decline.
Really? As a citizen I have a right to bring a gun anywhere I please in my vehicle, that's without a CHL. The fact I went the extra mile to be able to conceal carry gives me the right to take one to your wedding even if you ask me not to. I would be more tempted to bring one to your wedding if you asked me not to as a principal.
I really doubt in any state you have any affirmative right to bring a gun into someone else's home or private event. Since, ya know, you have no legal right to be there at all. You might be allowed to bring it in legally, but if a host asks you to leave a private event for any reason whatsoever, and you don't, that's trespassing.
Again- it might be super rude of me to make that demand, but you don't have the right to do it.
You're wrong. It wouldn't be trespassing if the venue is public property, and if there isn't a big ol' 51% sales sign on the front entry way, I have every right to carry my pistol on my person inside.
@Starmoon44 - If I'm at an event at someone's home and they ask me to leave and I do not, yes it can be considered trespassing. However at a venue, you are wrong, the host does not own the property so therefore they cannot dictate any "rules" pertaining to the property.
Also - as an FYI - in my state you can only carry a firearm concealed... therefore you will never know if I have my firearm unless the need arise for me to use it. You also don't have the legal right to search me or my belongings without a warrant, so therefore good luck attempting to enforce a no-gun policy.
In this state and many others, I absolutely have the right to carry my firearm any where I wish unless it is explicitly marked otherwise either through a posting or through the laws. I'm pretty sure if you lived in the same state, that it does not say in MAGL "Starmoon's house is a gun free zone" - also, the majority of people don't post a sign on their lawns saying "gun-free-zone" because they might as well post one saying "Steel my shit, I'm unarmed!!".
ETA: You also couldn't get a warrant to search my person due to the fact that no crime would have been committed.
I really doubt in any state you have any affirmative right to bring a gun into someone else's home or private event. Since, ya know, you have no legal right to be there at all. You might be allowed to bring it in legally, but if a host asks you to leave a private event for any reason whatsoever, and you don't, that's trespassing.
Again- it might be super rude of me to make that demand, but you don't have the right to do it.
You're wrong. It wouldn't be trespassing if the venue is public property, and if there isn't a big ol' 51% sales sign on the front entry way, I have every right to carry my pistol on my person inside.
True. But if its a private event at a private venue the host has every right to demand that you leave for any reason. If you stay then you are trespassing.
It's no different than if a guest started shouting offensive things and you asked them to leave. Of course they have a first amendment right to say whatever they want. You also have a right to revoke the license you gave them to be on the property for whatever reason you want.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
@NYCBruin - I'm pretty sure at a privately owned venue you would have to get the owner or person in charge to ask the guest to leave. You as a host don't become temporary owner of the property, only the owner of property(aside from if you are renting a home/apartment because then in the eyes of the law you are the resident of a dwelling) can make a trespassing claim.
@Starmoon44 - If I'm at an event at someone's home and they ask me to leave and I do not, yes it can be considered trespassing. However at a venue, you are wrong, the host does not own the property so therefore they cannot dictate any "rules" pertaining to the property.
Also - as an FYI - in my state you can only carry a firearm concealed... therefore you will never know if I have my firearm unless the need arise for me to use it. You also don't have the legal right to search me or my belongings without a warrant, so therefore good luck attempting to enforce a no-gun policy.
In this state and many others, I absolutely have the right to carry my firearm any where I wish unless it is explicitly marked otherwise either through a posting or through the laws. I'm pretty sure if you lived in the same state, that it does not say in MAGL "Starmoon's house is a gun free zone" - also, the majority of people don't post a sign on their lawns saying "gun-free-zone" because they might as well post one saying "Steel my shit, I'm unarmed!!".
ETA: You also couldn't get a warrant to search my person due to the fact that no crime would have been committed.
@NYCBruin - I'm pretty sure at a privately owned venue you would have to get the owner or person in charge to ask the guest to leave. You as a host don't become temporary owner of the property, only the owner of property(aside from if you are renting a home/apartment because then in the eyes of the law you are the resident of a dwelling) can make a trespassing claim.
Depends on the properly laws of the state and what your contract sends. The possessor of property not the owner holds the rights associated with trespassing. If you are leasing the space (even for one night) then you are the possessor.
ETA typo
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
Wow! I can't help but wonder what in the world would make someone so anti gun that you worry about this years before your actual wedding.... Have you lost someone to gun violence or been shot yourself?
Personally, I would never imagine asking anyone not to carry a concealed weapon to my wedding. To me it goes beyond simply being rude but denying someone the right to protect themselves, their property and even possibly my own life is reprehensible. I could never imagine someone just laying their holsters around at a reception and I'm from Alabama a very pro-gun state. Most people who are very pro-firearms and handguns teach their children starting at a young age gun safety.
I would very likely feel insulted or possibly disgusted if I was sent a general "we ask you not to conceal carry during our wedding and reception" without some sort of reason for the request. That's one reason more information is needed to give an honest answer. If you can't tell I'm pro-gun but I'm very passionate about gun/handgun safety but I'm also an attempted homicide victim after being shot in the face/head in 2001.
Wow! I can't help but wonder what in the world would make someone so anti gun that you worry about this years before your actual wedding.... Have you lost someone to gun violence or been shot yourself?
Personally, I would never imagine asking anyone not to carry a concealed weapon to my wedding. To me it goes beyond simply being rude but denying someone the right to protect themselves, their property and even possibly my own life is reprehensible. I could never imagine someone just laying their holsters around at a reception and I'm from Alabama a very pro-gun state. Most people who are very pro-firearms and handguns teach their children starting at a young age gun safety.
I would very likely feel insulted or possibly disgusted if I was sent a general "we ask you not to conceal carry during our wedding and reception" without some sort of reason for the request. That's one reason more information is needed to give an honest answer. If you can't tell I'm pro-gun but I'm very passionate about gun/handgun safety but I'm also an attempted homicide victim after being shot in the face/head in 2001.
She already said - her FI's family is rowdy and doesn't adhere to gun safety - like at all. I'd be worried about these people too. Whether or not someone is pro- or anti-gun, they can be uncomfortable with certain people to the point of wanting a gun-free event.
And people have the right to carry in certain places and not in others. So it wouldn't be denying someone their rights if they don't have the right to carry there anyway. So if you consider that reprehensible, then you would have every "right" to politely decline the invitation.
Wow! I can't help but wonder what in the world would make someone so anti gun that you worry about this years before your actual wedding.... Have you lost someone to gun violence or been shot yourself?
Personally, I would never imagine asking anyone not to carry a concealed weapon to my wedding. To me it goes beyond simply being rude but denying someone the right to protect themselves, their property and even possibly my own life is reprehensible. I could never imagine someone just laying their holsters around at a reception and I'm from Alabama a very pro-gun state. Most people who are very pro-firearms and handguns teach their children starting at a young age gun safety.
I would very likely feel insulted or possibly disgusted if I was sent a general "we ask you not to conceal carry during our wedding and reception" without some sort of reason for the request. That's one reason more information is needed to give an honest answer. If you can't tell I'm pro-gun but I'm very passionate about gun/handgun safety but I'm also an attempted homicide victim after being shot in the face/head in 2001.
First of all, wow. I will never complain about a paper cut again. I'm sorry that happened and I'm glad you recovered.
Again, I'm not "worried." I'm just curious about the etiquette and legality of making the request after reading another post from a few days ago.
From everyone's answers, I see that, strictly in terms of etiquette (nevermind risk, legality, etc.), asking someone not to bring a gun is similar (kinda) to dictating what color clothes they can wear. It's a rude thing to do.
I know that it's a person's right to carry, and if it wasn't for the specific family members I'm talking about, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Guns scare me in general, but if they're concealed and I don't know about it, I'm good. But the thought of these 4-5 people in particular with guns scares the shit out of me.
Okay, I understand you much better now. Sorry I didn't mean to come off on attack mode if it seemed like it. It seemed, to me, that you had a fear of guns concealed or not. It would really be a hard situation to deal with because it's a few people that effect the whole. Would it be possible for your FI to talk to them about your concerns? If you have a bit of time would it be possible to go through a training course with them but playing it off as if you wanted a family bonding experience and need their expertise during the course? I would try to come up with some way to resolve this with them before having to issue the request to everyone. If I knew it was because of a few people that had a tendency to not keep their concealed weapons, well concealed, I would completely understand the request; especially coming from the bride.
Thank you. Many many great things occurred after the shooting with my friends and family that possibly wouldn't have and I for that I'm thankful that it happened.
@bangbang. You have no right to bring a gun to a private event when the host has told you not to. The same way you have no right to attend my wedding in jeans, in your own wedding gown, or with 15 uninvited cousins. My making those demands may be rude, but you have no affirmative right to override the will of your host at a private party. The only right you have is to decline.
@Stagemanager14, I think we have another apples to mack truck comparison here.
Starmoon44, I have the right to wear whatever the hell I want to wear to your wedding or other such events, unless I am in direct violation of state and federal laws while doing so. You as the host have no affirmative right to make any demands or override my choices in attire.
ETA: Thanks to Starmoon, this thread has officially Jumped the Shark
What does this thread have to do with suspension of disbelief?
We had several guests at my wedding who have concealed carry permits, and I am certain that they brought their weapons with them to our wedding and reception.
HOWEVER, these are people that I know for a FACT are responsible with their weapons and take it seriously. I had no qualms at all about their guns.
I'm appalled at all the posters who brush aside OP's eye-witness accounts of these people being irresponsible with their weapons. Owning a gun doesn't make you suddenly and magically responsible, just like owning a car doesn't. You get licensed for a car, right? That should make you responsible, right? No. Look past your politics, this isn't a pro-gun, anti-gun issue. This is about a dumbass with a weapon who can't be trusted to not be a dumbass with a weapon.
OP, since your FI is pro-gun, and sounds responsible with his weapon, I would ask if another responsible gun-owning (so they know about gun safety) family member is willing to monitor the dumbasses you are worried about. Just like we advise brides worried about their rude alcoholic uncle, you can have responsible family members assigned for the night to keep an eye out.
The rest of you, who don't care about children being around unattended weapons, hurt the pro-gun cause more than anything else that happens with guns.
I don't think she's concerned about guns being pulled on people, just that the family is notoriously careless about the great responsibility they're carrying.
OP, I could end up being in the same boat, so I totally hear you. Pick a gun-free venue if you can (any place that serves alcohol will likely have this policy anyways) and don't lie about it. Trust me, if you say in the invites "please pretty please leave your 2nd amendment at home for my wedding", you'll have people going Yosemite Sam at your reception. This is a singularly touchy issue that people will almost never budge on if they feel strongly about it. You usually can't reason with either extreme.
All you can do is expect there to be guns. Plan for it, and grin and bear it when it happens. If you can enlist security to keep an eye on intoxicated carriers, maybe do so, that's your call. Bottom line, this is the beauty of marrying into another family
@bangbang. You have no right to bring a gun to a private event when the host has told you not to. The same way you have no right to attend my wedding in jeans, in your own wedding gown, or with 15 uninvited cousins. My making those demands may be rude, but you have no affirmative right to override the will of your host at a private party. The only right you have is to decline.
Really? As a citizen I have a right to bring a gun anywhere I please in my vehicle, that's without a CHL. The fact I went the extra mile to be able to conceal carry gives me the right to take one to your wedding even if you ask me not to. I would be more tempted to bring one to your wedding if you asked me not to as a principal.
Again, what happens on private property at private events has nothing to do with your constitutional rights. You have a right to free speech. And I have the right as the host of my wedding to have security throw you out if you start screaming curse words at the top of your lungs.
If a host wants no guns at their wedding and they hire security to enforce their desires, you're SOL. Is it a crime to carry the gun to the wedding? Of course not. But that doesn't mean the host doesn't have the right to exclude anyone (or everyone) for whatever reason they want.
We had several guests at my wedding who have concealed carry permits, and I am certain that they brought their weapons with them to our wedding and reception.
HOWEVER, these are people that I know for a FACT are responsible with their weapons and take it seriously. I had no qualms at all about their guns.
I'm appalled at all the posters who brush aside OP's eye-witness accounts of these people being irresponsible with their weapons. Owning a gun doesn't make you suddenly and magically responsible, just like owning a car doesn't. You get licensed for a car, right? That should make you responsible, right? No. Look past your politics, this isn't a pro-gun, anti-gun issue. This is about a dumbass with a weapon who can't be trusted to not be a dumbass with a weapon.
OP, since your FI is pro-gun, and sounds responsible with his weapon, I would ask if another responsible gun-owning (so they know about gun safety) family member is willing to monitor the dumbasses you are worried about. Just like we advise brides worried about their rude alcoholic uncle, you can have responsible family members assigned for the night to keep an eye out.
The rest of you, who don't care about children being around unattended weapons, hurt the pro-gun cause more than anything else that happens with guns.
I don't think that's what people are saying - I asked whether she is being objective or not because guns ARE scary and saying guns are being "thrown around" doesn't necessarily mean literally. When I read OP's initial post my first reaction was, "she's exaggerating." Like I said in my post, if she is NOT exaggerating then she needs to figure out what to do about spending her life with this person - and I also wonder why she would ever spend any time around those people if they are being that unsafe, and frankly I wouldn't invite them to the wedding at all if they really do throw guns or leave them out on tables at child-height. But my other question for OP is what does her BF do when he sees this behavior? OP claims that BF is a responsible gun owner and his family members are not. A responsible gun owner would, at the very least, ask his/her family member to cease that kind of behavior for safety reasons. So perhaps you can see why I think this is a bit inconsistent - I think other posters saw that as well, hence the questions.
And I would argue that not one person on here has expressed a lack of concern for children being around unattended weapons. In contrast, most of the pro-gun posters told stories about learning to use weapons at a young age for safety reasons. The idea is that if young child knows about guns and gun safety, the likelihood of accidents happening are a lot lower. Gun safety 101 starts with "never EVER point a gun at somebody else, whether it is loaded or not." It definitely does NOT start with "point, shoot, and try to hit the center of the target."
And I say this as a person who has never and probably never will own a gun of my own, because I do find them a bit scary and I'm not personally very pro-gun. I was still taught what to do around them at a young age, and I will teach my children the same thing - it's just unsafe not to when living in a state where people other people hunt or carry.
I asked specifically if she has ever seen these people carelessly toss their guns around on a table in a public setting, like a restaurant or bar or anything but their house, and I got no answer. I think she is extrapolating a bit from their behavior at home/family events to their behavior at her wedding.
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
I asked specifically if she has ever seen these people carelessly toss their guns around on a table in a public setting, like a restaurant or bar or anything but their house, and I got no answer. I think she is extrapolating a bit from their behavior at home/family events to their behavior at her wedding.
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
@NYCBruin: Its relevant because I do a lot of things in my home I wouldn't do out in public. For example, I walk around naked constantly, break wind occasionally, and on a general note I swear like a sailor. However, at a public event I don't do any of these things.
I asked specifically if she has ever seen these people carelessly toss their guns around on a table in a public setting, like a restaurant or bar or anything but their house, and I got no answer. I think she is extrapolating a bit from their behavior at home/family events to their behavior at her wedding.
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
@NYCBruin: Its relevant because I do a lot of things in my home I wouldn't do out in public. For example, I walk around naked constantly, break wind occasionally, and on a general note I swear like a sailor. However, at a public event I don't do any of these things.
Yes but I imagine you don't do those things when you have company over.
More importantly none of those things are dangerous.
Apples and oranges here.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
@bangbang. You have no right to bring a gun to a private event when the host has told you not to. The same way you have no right to attend my wedding in jeans, in your own wedding gown, or with 15 uninvited cousins. My making those demands may be rude, but you have no affirmative right to override the will of your host at a private party. The only right you have is to decline.
Really? As a citizen I have a right to bring a gun anywhere I please in my vehicle, that's without a CHL. The fact I went the extra mile to be able to conceal carry gives me the right to take one to your wedding even if you ask me not to. I would be more tempted to bring one to your wedding if you asked me not to as a principal.
Again, what happens on private property at private events has nothing to do with your constitutional rights. You have a right to free speech. And I have the right as the host of my wedding to have security throw you out if you start screaming curse words at the top of your lungs.
If a host wants no guns at their wedding and they hire security to enforce their desires, you're SOL. Is it a crime to carry the gun to the wedding? Of course not. But that doesn't mean the host doesn't have the right to exclude anyone (or everyone) for whatever reason they want.
I am having security at my wedding. My venue also has 3 separate rooms where other events can be held the same time mine is going on. If someone were to conceal carry into my venue, they are not allowed per the 51% sign saying the business money comes mainly from the sell of alcohol, a felony in the state of Texas..... HOWEVER, if that weren't the case, and people were legally able to conceal carry in my venue, I would not be allowed legally to tell them to leave unless the gun is on the table (which would mean it's not concealed) or they were doing something to breach safety. I could ask them several times to bring the gun and leave it secured in their vehicle, but asking them to leave public property, regardless of the fact I would be hosting the event at my venue, is against the law.
That is only the case if I knew for a fact they were carrying. Which by law I wouldn't be able to search them, there are no metal detectors at my venue. So they could carry whatever they wish to my wedding as I would have no way of knowing, EVEN if I asked them not to carry.
Now, that being said, if this were my home, or MY property and I knew they had a weapon, that's the time I could have them removed from the premises and violate them for trespassing. I do not own my venue, it is public property. Unless the owners of the actual venue ask the guest to leave or they are breaking the law, this is completely irrelevant.
I might also add in the state of Texas, if someone comes onto my property with a weapon, I have every right to shoot and kill that person because they are on my property.
I asked specifically if she has ever seen these people carelessly toss their guns around on a table in a public setting, like a restaurant or bar or anything but their house, and I got no answer. I think she is extrapolating a bit from their behavior at home/family events to their behavior at her wedding.
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
@NYCBruin: Its relevant because I do a lot of things in my home I wouldn't do out in public. For example, I walk around naked constantly, break wind occasionally, and on a general note I swear like a sailor. However, at a public event I don't do any of these things.
Yes but I imagine you don't do those things when you have company over.
More importantly none of those things are dangerous.
Apples and oranges here.
My thoughts exactly. If I went over to my boyfriend's parent's house and they were walking around naked, farting, and swearing like sailors, I would not be 100% confident that they would refrain from doing these things in public. And as NYCBruin pointed out, these things aren't dangerous anyway so even if they do these things in public it's not hurting anyone (unless they ate cabbage and beans). This is an issue of safety, not social faux pas.
The point here is that if you witness behavior that makes you uncomfortable, you are totally within your right to mitigate said behavior at an event you are hosting. If guests don't like it, they have "the right" not to attend or to leave.
I asked specifically if she has ever seen these people carelessly toss their guns around on a table in a public setting, like a restaurant or bar or anything but their house, and I got no answer. I think she is extrapolating a bit from their behavior at home/family events to their behavior at her wedding.
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
@NYCBruin: Its relevant because I do a lot of things in my home I wouldn't do out in public. For example, I walk around naked constantly, break wind occasionally, and on a general note I swear like a sailor. However, at a public event I don't do any of these things.
Yes but I imagine you don't do those things when you have company over.
More importantly none of those things are dangerous.
Apples and oranges here.
My thoughts exactly. If I went over to my boyfriend's parent's house and they were walking around naked, farting, and swearing like sailors, I would not be 100% confident that they would refrain from doing these things in public. And as NYCBruin pointed out, these things aren't dangerous anyway so even if they do these things in public it's not hurting anyone (unless they ate cabbage and beans). This is an issue of safety, not social faux pas.
The point here is that if you witness behavior that makes you uncomfortable, you are totally within your right to mitigate said behavior at an event you are hosting. If guests don't like it, they have "the right" not to attend or to leave.
I agree with this, you are absolutely within your rights if you're hosting to have that person removed if they are doing something that is making you feel uncomfortable. Unless it's not your property and they are concealing a weapon harmlessly. Which is what I would do if I brought my pistol on public property because that's the entire reason I got my CHL. I am responsible.
As for said person in previous posts to be waving his gun around. I can see how that would be an issue, and I would absolutely have him removed from the premises if it were my legal right, or else call the authorities to take care of it.
Re: Can I request a gun-free wedding?
@Starmoon44 - If I'm at an event at someone's home and they ask me to leave and I do not, yes it can be considered trespassing. However at a venue, you are wrong, the host does not own the property so therefore they cannot dictate any "rules" pertaining to the property.
Also - as an FYI - in my state you can only carry a firearm concealed... therefore you will never know if I have my firearm unless the need arise for me to use it. You also don't have the legal right to search me or my belongings without a warrant, so therefore good luck attempting to enforce a no-gun policy.
In this state and many others, I absolutely have the right to carry my firearm any where I wish unless it is explicitly marked otherwise either through a posting or through the laws. I'm pretty sure if you lived in the same state, that it does not say in MAGL "Starmoon's house is a gun free zone" - also, the majority of people don't post a sign on their lawns saying "gun-free-zone" because they might as well post one saying "Steel my shit, I'm unarmed!!".
ETA: You also couldn't get a warrant to search my person due to the fact that no crime would have been committed.
True. But if its a private event at a private venue the host has every right to demand that you leave for any reason. If you stay then you are trespassing.
It's no different than if a guest started shouting offensive things and you asked them to leave. Of course they have a first amendment right to say whatever they want. You also have a right to revoke the license you gave them to be on the property for whatever reason you want.
@NYCBruin - I'm pretty sure at a privately owned venue you would have to get the owner or person in charge to ask the guest to leave. You as a host don't become temporary owner of the property, only the owner of property(aside from if you are renting a home/apartment because then in the eyes of the law you are the resident of a dwelling) can make a trespassing claim.
Depends on the properly laws of the state and what your contract sends. The possessor of property not the owner holds the rights associated with trespassing. If you are leasing the space (even for one night) then you are the possessor.
ETA typo
Wow! I can't help but wonder what in the world would make someone so anti gun that you worry about this years before your actual wedding.... Have you lost someone to gun violence or been shot yourself?
Personally, I would never imagine asking anyone not to carry a concealed weapon to my wedding. To me it goes beyond simply being rude but denying someone the right to protect themselves, their property and even possibly my own life is reprehensible. I could never imagine someone just laying their holsters around at a reception and I'm from Alabama a very pro-gun state. Most people who are very pro-firearms and handguns teach their children starting at a young age gun safety.
I would very likely feel insulted or possibly disgusted if I was sent a general "we ask you not to conceal carry during our wedding and reception" without some sort of reason for the request. That's one reason more information is needed to give an honest answer. If you can't tell I'm pro-gun but I'm very passionate about gun/handgun safety but I'm also an attempted homicide victim after being shot in the face/head in 2001.
First of all, wow. I will never complain about a paper cut again. I'm sorry that happened and I'm glad you recovered.
Again, I'm not "worried." I'm just curious about the etiquette and legality of making the request after reading another post from a few days ago.
From everyone's answers, I see that, strictly in terms of etiquette (nevermind risk, legality, etc.), asking someone not to bring a gun is similar (kinda) to dictating what color clothes they can wear. It's a rude thing to do.
I know that it's a person's right to carry, and if it wasn't for the specific family members I'm talking about, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Guns scare me in general, but if they're concealed and I don't know about it, I'm good. But the thought of these 4-5 people in particular with guns scares the shit out of me.
Okay, I understand you much better now. Sorry I didn't mean to come off on attack mode if it seemed like it. It seemed, to me, that you had a fear of guns concealed or not. It would really be a hard situation to deal with because it's a few people that effect the whole. Would it be possible for your FI to talk to them about your concerns? If you have a bit of time would it be possible to go through a training course with them but playing it off as if you wanted a family bonding experience and need their expertise during the course? I would try to come up with some way to resolve this with them before having to issue the request to everyone. If I knew it was because of a few people that had a tendency to not keep their concealed weapons, well concealed, I would completely understand the request; especially coming from the bride.
Thank you. Many many great things occurred after the shooting with my friends and family that possibly wouldn't have and I for that I'm thankful that it happened.
OP, I could end up being in the same boat, so I totally hear you. Pick a gun-free venue if you can (any place that serves alcohol will likely have this policy anyways) and don't lie about it. Trust me, if you say in the invites "please pretty please leave your 2nd amendment at home for my wedding", you'll have people going Yosemite Sam at your reception. This is a singularly touchy issue that people will almost never budge on if they feel strongly about it. You usually can't reason with either extreme.
All you can do is expect there to be guns. Plan for it, and grin and bear it when it happens. If you can enlist security to keep an eye on intoxicated carriers, maybe do so, that's your call. Bottom line, this is the beauty of marrying into another family
Fatty Blog
I don't get why this is relevant. If someone is irresponsible with weapons in their home I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will magically become responsible for a wedding.
Yes but I imagine you don't do those things when you have company over.
More importantly none of those things are dangerous.
Apples and oranges here.