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Bridesmaids With Tattoos

Tracy1228Tracy1228 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have a problem. I have a really good girl friend that I want to ask to be a bridesmaid. The only thing is, she has a full sleeve tattoo and I want strapless bridesmaid dresses. Is it rude to ask her to either buy a sweater or pay to have them covered with cover up makeup? Or should I just not ask her to be a bridesmaid to avoid conflict? Help! 
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Re: Bridesmaids With Tattoos

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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It's absolutely rude to ask her to cover them up with make-up or a sweater. I also think it's crappy of you to not ask her because of her tattoos. She is your friend, why would you want her to cover up something so personal to her? What exactly are you worried will happen if you can see her tattoos?


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    Tracy1228Tracy1228 member
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    See, it's not the actual tattoos that are an issue with me. I love tattoos, I have them. But the church that we're getting married in is pretty conservative. I'll be having mine airbrushed with makeup for the ceremony. I think it just looks more classic and I want the focus to be on my dress not my tattoos. But back to her, I wouldn't mind if she showed the tattoos at the reception, just prefer not at the church. 
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    misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Does the church have rules against showing tattoos?
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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
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    edited September 2013
    If the church has rules against showing tattoos, then you could do something like purchasing all your BMs pashminas to wear during the ceremony.
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    Tracy1228Tracy1228 member
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    Not set rules. But it's just very conservative and so are a lot of the elderly guests that I'm inviting. I just wanted to get a little input. I wasn't going to actually not ask her because of her tattoos. 
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    Tracy1228Tracy1228 member
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    No, no, no. I said I'm cover MY own tattoos so they don't clash or take away from my dress. Not hers. 
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Tracy1228 said:
    Not set rules. But it's just very conservative and so are a lot of the elderly guests that I'm inviting. I just wanted to get a little input. I wasn't going to actually not ask her because of her tattoos. 
    I'm sure the elderly guests can handle seeing tattoos. If there isn't an actual rule against it, don't ask her to cover them up.


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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Tracy1228 said:
    No, no, no. I said I'm cover MY own tattoos so they don't clash or take away from my dress. Not hers. 
    Yup, sorry I just realized I misread that. I deleted that aspect of my post


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    banana468banana468 member
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    If the church has a tattoo rule it's one thing. If it's your personal preference that's another thing entirely.

    Also, a big ditto to PPs who said that a truly conservative church won't allow strapless dresses without some kind of garment worn on the shoulders.
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
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    @PandPMeant2B - Your friend is awesome.


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    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You could buy all the bridesmaids shrugs. This would cover all their arms and make for a more conservative looks in the church. Then they could shed them at the reception if they choose or continue to wear them if it is cold at the venue. Shrugs are better than shawls in my opinion as they stay put when shawls tend to drape and look different on everyone. A shawl is not guaranteed to have the desired result you are looking for either...

    But you can't ask her to cover her arms (with makeup or otherwise) and not the other ladies.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
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    FTR, one of my BMs had an enormous tattoo that was very visible in her dress.

    I did not say one word to her about it.  It's her body, and she's not my Barbie doll.

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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    Tracy1228 said:
    I have a problem. I have a really good girl friend that I want to ask to be a bridesmaid. The only thing is, she has a full sleeve tattoo and I want strapless bridesmaid dresses. Is it rude to ask her to either buy a sweater or pay to have them covered with cover up makeup? Or should I just not ask her to be a bridesmaid to avoid conflict? Help! 
    Seriously?  Just let her wear the strapless dress and don't be rude.  If she's important enough to stand up with you at your wedding, this shouldn't even be a concern.

    If it's a weird rule at your church or something, then it would be okay to ask her to cover it, and only then.

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    PandPMeant2BPandPMeant2B member
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    bethsmiles said:
    @PandPMeant2B - Your friend is awesome.
    Yes she is! That's why we've been friends for 20 years.
    image
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    smalfrie19smalfrie19 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013

    Seriously, I can't even fathom why you are covering your OWN tattoos let alone asking someone to cover theirs! You have tattoos for a reason, if you are ashamed of them, then you shouldn't have gotten them in the first place.

    FTR, me, my FI, his BM and my two maids all have visable tattoos. I will not ask anyone to cover them!

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    auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The reason you ask a bridesmaid at all is because she's one of the most important people in your life and you want her to stand by you on your wedding day. If you ask her or don't ask her it should be because of your relationship with her rather than her body art.

    Step back for a minute and ask yourself:
    If she didn't have tattoos would there be any question as to if you'd ask her or not?
    If the answer is no and of course you'd ask her, that should still be your answer. Her having tattoos doesn't make your friendship any less special. I'd assume this is someone you'd want by your side no matter what then.

    Agree with PPs that you could buy them all shrugs to wear if you want their dresses to be conservative for church.
    But you can't ask her to cover her tattoos. They are part of her body. If someone had a large birthmark, would you ask them to cover it up? I would hope not, because that is part of her skin. So is a tattoo. In addition to the tattoos being part of her body, odds are they are meaningful to her and she views them as part of her personal expression.

    Asking her to cover them might hurt her feelings because she might feel like you don't like part of who she is or that you value your wedding pictures or what random guests might think over her feelings (not saying you do, but that's how it could easily be construed). She might tell you she's totally fine with it, but she might just tell you what you want to hear and actually be hurt.
    I don't think you want to risk hurting your friend. And I would hope you'd want your friend to be who she is when she walks down the aisle.

    Just get them all shrugs or just let it go. Let your friend shine as who she is. :)

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think you have 3 options:

    1) Change the dress to something that is not strapless and won't show the tattoos

    2) Let everyone cover up with shrugs

    3) Let it go
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    cruffinocruffino member
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    I have lots of visible tattoos. I have been a bridesmaid a couple times, and now a bride. I have managed not to spontaneously combust in churches. I get the sense that you're concerned about your pictures above all, hence why you're covering yourself up.

    I saw that in one of the David Tutera shows and thought it was nutty. We're women, not barbies. And I highly doubt you'll be dusting off the bridal album enough to even care two years from now.
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    PeachesNCream22PeachesNCream22 member
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    Maybe you can give all your bridesmaids shawls if you're really concerned. Have you tried bringing it up nicely with her? If she's a good friend you can talk to her honestly and feel out how strongly she feels.
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