Bridesmaids With Tattoos

cmelliott · September 2013

LOL you guys get so worked up. You're like fucking hyenas waiting to tear the next person apart. Obviously mc4dj was exaggerating. But feel free to blow up on her next, this will be funny.

daveANDkristen · September 2013

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?

cruffino · September 2013

daveANDkristen said:

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?

maybe her theme is rocky horror picture show.

cmelliott · September 2013

I am tired of repeating myself over and over. If you have an attack on me, please read above because I'm sure it's already been covered.

PandPMeant2B · September 2013

I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the shitshow that is about to ensue... Some of the ladies here are way better with words than I am.

grumbledore · September 2013

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?

Can't. Breathe. lol (really, I actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD upon reading that)

daveANDkristen · September 2013

cmelliott said:

LOL you guys get so worked up. You're like fucking hyenas waiting to tear the next person apart. Obviously mc4dj was exaggerating. But feel free to blow up on her next, this will be funny.

Do you both think that you are the first to come on here and tell us how mean we are? I like the majority of the posters here, so I stuck around after my wedding. I also have some first-hand experience now, so I can offer advice sometimes. How does that make me any more pathetic than you guys for being here? Who would answer your questions about weddings if no one here had every had one?

QueerFemme · September 2013

cruffino said:

daveANDkristen said:

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?
maybe her theme is rocky horror picture show.

No one has confirmed that Marc is transitioning to male. So, don't assume so. But, what we DO know is that Marc is trans, and should not be referred to as Miranda, and we know that their friend is an ass for even implying that they would want to drop out of the wedding because of their trans status.

Edited to fix references.

KeptInStitches · September 2013

@queerfemme, thanks for the perspective.

cmelliott · September 2013

daveANDkristen said:

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?

maybe her theme is rocky horror picture show.

It actually is. How did you know?

cruffino · September 2013

QueerFemme said:

cruffino said:

daveANDkristen said:

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?
maybe her theme is rocky horror picture show.

No one has confirmed that Marc is transitioning to male. So, don't assume so. But, what we DO know is that Marc is trans, and should not be referred to as Miranda, and we know that his friend is an ass for even implying that he would want to drop out of the wedding because of his trans status.

amen to that.

BostonGIrl4732 · September 2013

Just when I think it's OK to have faith in humanity again... a thread like this happens. Sometimes you can't fight with stupid or ignorance, but I applaud you for fighting the good fight. Why do I have a funny feeling there will be a post in a few months along the lines of "My friend won't speak to me anymore because I was a total bitch to her, I, urm, mean 'him' and made him wear a dress to my wedding. I thought we talked about it beforehand and he was all cool with it, but it turns out he wasn't and just didn't want to back out of a commitment"

QueerFemme · September 2013

cmelliott said:

I am tired of repeating myself over and over. If you have an attack on me, please read above because I'm sure it's already been covered.

No one is attacking you. An attack would look very different. People are pointing out that you made some serious asshole moves.

cmelliott · September 2013

QueerFemme said:

cmelliott said:

I am tired of repeating myself over and over. If you have an attack on me, please read above because I'm sure it's already been covered.
No one is attacking you. An attack would look very different. People are pointing out that you made some serious asshole moves.

No, you're taking it upon yourself to judge someone on a situation you know nothing about. And also being all high and mighty that you're right and I'm wrong. When it's impossible to be right or wrong in a situation like this.

grumbledore · September 2013

daveANDkristen · September 2013

QueerFemme said:

cruffino said:

daveANDkristen said:

Am I the only one who can't believe a man in a dress fits into cmelliott's VISION?
maybe her theme is rocky horror picture show.

No one has confirmed that Marc is transitioning to male. So, don't assume so. But, what we DO know is that Marc is trans, and should not be referred to as Miranda, and we know that their friend is an ass for even implying that they would want to drop out of the wedding because of their trans status.

Edited to fix references.

You're right, QF. I was only joking, but you're right that I was making an assumption. It doesn't sound like cmell is very clear on their status either, but it is really irrelevant to this conversation which is why I don't understand her bringing it up.

LOL.

Pepper6 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

LOL you guys get so worked up. You're like fucking hyenas waiting to tear the next person apart. Obviously mc4dj was exaggerating. But feel free to blow up on her next, this will be funny.

She may have been exaggerating about the club foot, but the premise is still the same. She's implying that it's okay for brides to change their friends how they see fit for ONE DAY. It doesn't matter if you are getting married, it doesn't give anyone license to impose their ideals onto anyone, especially not those they feel are close enough to stand at their wedding.

I'll not touch on the transgender thing because it's been covered, but again with the tattoos...it is NEVER okay to ask someone to change anything about themselves for a wedding. Period.

cmelliott · September 2013

Hey is there any way to track how many posts you've made on here?

QueerFemme · September 2013

cmelliott said:

QueerFemme said:

cmelliott said:

I am tired of repeating myself over and over. If you have an attack on me, please read above because I'm sure it's already been covered.
No one is attacking you. An attack would look very different. People are pointing out that you made some serious asshole moves.
No, you're taking it upon yourself to judge someone on a situation you know nothing about. And also being all high and mighty that you're right and I'm wrong. When it's impossible to be right or wrong in a situation like this.

Actually, it IS possible to be right or wrong. You were absolutely, 100% wrong, if what you posted is actually how things went down. Your post said that after your friend came out as trans, you asked them if they "still wanted to be in the wedding". That was absolutely wrong of you. It was a jerk move. If that's not actually how it happened, you certainly haven't corrected yourself since that post.

For anyone interested in actually understanding gender stuff, this is a pretty elementary, but helpful link.

http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/breaking-through-the-binary-gender-explained-using-continuums/

Maggie0829 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Hey is there any way to track how many posts you've made on here?

Yes. Just click on your username in a thread you are posting in or go to the top of the page and you will see your username and pic with a down arrow next to it. Then click on "my account". The number of posts you've made will be listed next to "replies". You can also see how many threads you have started by looking at the number next to "discussions".

cmelliott · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

cmelliott said:

Hey is there any way to track how many posts you've made on here?

Yes. Just click on your username in a thread you are posting in or go to the top of the page and you will see your username and pic with a down arrow next to it. Then click on "my account". The number of posts you've made will be listed next to "replies". You can also see how many threads you have started by looking at the number next to "discussions".

thanks!

artbyallie · September 2013

Holy shit. I feel so bad for Marc.@cmelliot, pretty damn sure Marc didn't 'decide' in March. Presumably this has been a long and emotional process and you are not fucking helping by asking Marc to wear a dress and cover a tattoo. You are acting like a terrible fucking 'friend' with the excuse of YOUR VISION. Do you not see for one millisecond how awful that is?!

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

AddieCake · September 2013

WTF.

That's all I can muster for this.

mc4dj13 · September 2013

I stand by what I said. If you got offended by the club foot thing then you REALLY shouldn't be posting on an open forum. Like CME said, it is sarcasm. You ladies take your etiquette board so seriously and when one person throws a wrench in the mix you have to band together like it's a 6th grade middle school dance and jump the bitch.

aurianna · September 2013

cmelliott

If you asked Marc right now and said this verbatim, "Marc, I've been thinking about something and I want you to be completely honest with me and not just tell me what you think I want to hear. At the wedding would you be more comfortable in the dress, a tux, or something else?"

What do you think Marc's answer would be? (if you aren't sure, ask)

And if Marc's answer would not be the dress... how can you, in good conscience, still make him wear it?
Your wedding vision should not be more important to you than your friend's comfort in this very confusing time in their life.
Which is more important to you? Having your dear friend, by your side, feeling proud and attractive in the formal wear that fits Marc's gender identity... or putting your friend in a dress because... what? You already paid for it? Big woo. Sell the dress on ebay.

Seriously, if you are so sure everyone is on board with this and no one is upset or offended, I dare you to ask the question. If everyone is totally on board, you have nothing to lose, no?

AlexisA01 · September 2013

Just..WOW

MobKaz · September 2013

cmelliott said:

QueerFemme said:

cmelliott said:

QueerFemme said:

cmelliott said:

@cruffino and @smalfrie this is when you've crossed the line. i will use names to make this easier. i asked miranda to be in my wedding and then in january i bought all their bridesmaids dresses. then in march, miranda decided she wanted to be marc. because i'm an amazing friend, i asked if marc still wanted to be in the wedding since i had already bought the dress and did they still want to wear the dress. marc said yes to both because marc loves me and i love marc and we're amazing friends. please don't you even dare to judge me on something that you don't know. you all can call me a terrible person because i asked miranda if she was okay with covering up the tattoo but i love my friend, whether they want to be miranda or marc and you all have no idea what you're talking about.

I don't even POST on TK anymore, but I had to come out of the woodwork for this one.

I'll judge the HELL out of you. You are referring to this friend who you say you love with feminine pronouns and calling him "miranda" when he has clearly already expressed his desire to go by Marc.

Your friend is trying to be kind to you, and agreeing to wear a dress, probably because he cares about you, I have no idea why. But, I would bet all the money I have that if you hadn't phrased it as "do you still want to be in the wedding" , and instead said "Of course you are still in the wedding, do you want to wear a suit or tux?" he would have likely chosen that.

The fact that you aren't even using his preferred gender reference makes you a huge asshole and a really bad friend.
no, you have no right to judge on things you know nothing of. everything that i've already put on here was in defense of the attacks by everyone who twists everything into something they can argue with. so you're saying that everytime i post on this board about BM i should start with "btw one of my BM is transgendered". since it is the internet, i'm trying to keep everything simple. and yes, you all only have a small portion of the information and conversations but because of that, once again you have no right to judge.

You are asking a tg person to wear a dress in your wedding. The fact that you even said "Do you still want to be in the wedding" makes you a jerk and I will judge you. That should have never even been a consideration. Your question should have been "now that you are IDing as tg and as Marc, what do you want to WEAR in the wedding.

no, once again, i stated i bought the dress before any of this was even explained to me. afterwards, i asked if they still felt comfortable wearing the dress. don't you think that would be the place they would say no? then i would have asked what else they wanted to wear. but they said yes.

Marc seems to be the only selfless person. You are quite skilled in the way you phrase your comments and concerns. He agreed to cover up the tattoo because YOU brought it up first and made it clear you do NOT like it. And perhaps other posters missed this, but you have made it crystal clear that YOU purchased the dress. My guess is that Marc was aware that you would perhaps be out money if he now chose to wear a tux rather than the dress that YOU purchased. In the way you posed the questions, you made it almost impossible for Marc to speak honestly.

Ajuliana · September 2013

cmelliott said:

cowgirl8238 said:
Hey everyone lets stop feeding into smelliots ways...she is already trolling the etiquette board on Honeymoon registries too!!!!!

I'm not trolling. I'm having two conversations with people who disagree with what I have to say lol. That's very legal to do here.

Oh good, because if it was illegal here the secret mod police would arrest you.

Seriously? It's called TOS.

cmelliott · September 2013

Ajuliana said:

Hey everyone lets stop feeding into smelliots ways...she is already trolling the etiquette board on Honeymoon registries too!!!!!

I'm not trolling. I'm having two conversations with people who disagree with what I have to say lol. That's very legal to do here.

Oh good, because if it was illegal here the secret mod police would arrest you. Seriously? It's called TOS.

TOS says I can't post in two boards at once? Man I'll have to go read the fine print for that.

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