Wedding Etiquette Forum

Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

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Re: Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

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    Excuse #865,978 for having a cash bar:  "I don't want people getting DRUNK at my wedding!  Sacre bleu!"

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  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I was talking to a coworker about cash bars. She went to a wedding over the weekend that had one amd she likes them. When I asked why, she said because an open bar was expensive and for liability issues. Both which I was able to counter thanks to this thread. 

    APDSS22WildMageletRebeccaB88
  • I was talking to a coworker about cash bars. She went to a wedding over the weekend that had one amd she likes them. When I asked why, she said because an open bar was expensive and for liability issues. Both which I was able to counter thanks to this thread. 
    Awesome!  

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
  • U know u people r so judemental!!! I NEVER SAID I WAS PUTTING "CASH BAR" ON MY INVITATIONS. I said that if a person was to have a cash bar then to somehow let their guest know before hand, not when they show up. Invitation was the choice word I used, but put it on the menu card...I don't care. Secondly I don't want the responsiblity of having drunk people driving once they leave my reception, so I'm NOT having an open bar the entire reception. I'm only serving alcohol during the cocktail hour. And that is a compromise to a "cash bar". Third this is MY WEDDING, not urs or urs, or hers either. I'm going to do what is best for me, my family, and my budget. This is a public forum where I thought grown people could share their thoughts and ideas, but apparently I was mistaken because we have the Etiquette Police in the house!!!
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    cidefi said:
    U know u people r so judemental!!! I NEVER SAID I WAS PUTTING "CASH BAR" ON MY INVITATIONS. I said that if a person was to have a cash bar then to somehow let their guest know before hand, not when they show up. Invitation was the choice word I used, but put it on the menu card...I don't care. Secondly I don't want the responsiblity of having drunk people driving once they leave my reception, so I'm NOT having an open bar the entire reception. I'm only serving alcohol during the cocktail hour. And that is a compromise to a "cash bar". Third this is MY WEDDING, not urs or urs, or hers either. I'm going to do what is best for me, my family, and my budget. This is a public forum where I thought grown people could share their thoughts and ideas, but apparently I was mistaken because we have the Etiquette Police in the house!!!
    This kind of makes me want to bang my head on my desk. 

    You know you're on the Etiquette board, yes? 

    People can shitfaced during the cocktail hour. Enough that they'd still be drunk at the end of the wedding. If you don't want drunk people, don't serve alcohol. 

    simplykaylaBlue_Bird
  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited September 2013
    cidefi said:
    U know u people r so judemental!!! I NEVER SAID I WAS PUTTING "CASH BAR" ON MY INVITATIONS. I said that if a person was to have a cash bar then to somehow let their guest know before hand, not when they show up. Invitation was the choice word I used, but put it on the menu card...I don't care. Secondly I don't want the responsiblity of having drunk people driving once they leave my reception, so I'm NOT having an open bar the entire reception. I'm only serving alcohol during the cocktail hour. And that is a compromise to a "cash bar". Third this is MY WEDDING, not urs or urs, or hers either. I'm going to do what is best for me, my family, and my budget. This is a public forum where I thought grown people could share their thoughts and ideas, but apparently I was mistaken because we have the Etiquette Police in the house!!!


    ----------------------------------------------


    Umm yes, people on the Etiquette Board are going to respond with proper etiquette.  I'm not so sure why this is surprising.

    Given your grammar, this isn't terribly surprising, but can you not read?  Seriously, there are numerous comments explaining how open bars don't open you up to liability unless you are personally serving people are leaving the bar unattended.  And even then, many states STILL won't impose liability.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    [Deleted User]Blue_Bird
  • That's no compromise. That's doing what you want and disregarding etiquette.

    That's right, I'm doing exactly what I want to do for MY WEDDING. Thanks

  • The whole open bar = drunken idiots argument is false. If people want to get that hammered, they'll do so with or without an open bar. And people can still choose to drive home drunk after a cash bar as well. You alleviate the majority of this issue by having a licensed bartender. And if you are truly worried about people driving drunk then you have a dry wedding.

    U r very correct with that statement. People r gonna do what their gonna do. But why would assume that I wouldn't use a licensed bartender? And no I'm not having a dry wedding because I want some liquior, but uumm thanks for the suggestion.

    And do not ever, I repeat, EVER, put "cash bar" or similar on an invitation. Cash bars are rude to your guests. If you're gonna have one so be it. But don't try to claim it's a compromise. Just own the fact that you're choosing to be rude to your guests. Just own it.

    Uumm I never said having a cash bar was the compromise. I said I was having an open bar only throughout the cocktail hour vs the entire reception.

  • Ahhh the bait and switch#
    ShesSoColdgrumbledoresouthernbelle0915RebeccaB88
  • cidefi said:

    The whole open bar = drunken idiots argument is false. If people want to get that hammered, they'll do so with or without an open bar. And people can still choose to drive home drunk after a cash bar as well. You alleviate the majority of this issue by having a licensed bartender. And if you are truly worried about people driving drunk then you have a dry wedding.

    U r very correct with that statement. People r gonna do what their gonna do. But why would assume that I wouldn't use a licensed bartender? And no I'm not having a dry wedding because I want some liquior, but uumm thanks for the suggestion.

    And do not ever, I repeat, EVER, put "cash bar" or similar on an invitation. Cash bars are rude to your guests. If you're gonna have one so be it. But don't try to claim it's a compromise. Just own the fact that you're choosing to be rude to your guests. Just own it.

    Uumm I never said having a cash bar was the compromise. I said I was having an open bar only throughout the cocktail hour vs the entire reception.






    You do realize that you are not the only person these comments are directed to. This thread does not revolve around you. Neither does the world. Cash bars are rude. We can't stop you from having one, but we can tell you that your guests will probably talk about you behind your back if you do.

    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    grumbledoreAPDSS22Dreamergirl8812RebeccaB88
  • I completely understand what type of forum this is. I just never dreamed that u people could be such bitches!!! I mean really there is a huge difference in helping people vs telling them what to do with their wedding. I wrote about my own personal experiences and you all just attacked!! I mean come on the wedding ninjas are not gonna kill somebody for being tacky at their own event. Every person in here is an individual with their own ideas about how they want their day to go. And yes we're all in here trying to get a better understanding of the right way to it. But geez calm down!!! And stop making people (me) feel like their (I'm) being attacked because my ideas don't match urs.
    [Deleted User]
  • cidefi said:
    I completely understand what type of forum this is. I just never dreamed that u people could be such bitches!!! I mean really there is a huge difference in helping people vs telling them what to do with their wedding. I wrote about my own personal experiences and you all just attacked!! I mean come on the wedding ninjas are not gonna kill somebody for being tacky at their own event. Every person in here is an individual with their own ideas about how they want their day to go. And yes we're all in here trying to get a better understanding of the right way to it. But geez calm down!!! And stop making people (me) feel like their (I'm) being attacked because my ideas don't match urs.
    No one can "make you feel" anything. You feel attacked because you are not appropriately receiving criticism of your plans which break major norms of etiquette and you're spewing off about them on an etiquette-centered message board.

    You're welcome to plan your event any way you want (obviously). But it is inappropriate to advise other brides to pursue rude options on a forum centered around etiquette.

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
    KeptInStitchesAPDSS22STARMOON44
  • I'm going to leave this thread alone. I thank u for the feedback. And I hope everybody's wedding day turns out to be exactly they dream it to be.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hey, if you want to have a tacky wedding, that's your right! However, don't come to the etiquette board if you don't want opinions on ETIQUETTE! 

    APDSS22
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @grumbledore, congrats on this thread being a sticky!
    grumbledore
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2013
    cidefi said:
    U know u people r so judemental!!! I NEVER SAID I WAS PUTTING "CASH BAR" ON MY INVITATIONS. I said that if a person was to have a cash bar then to somehow let their guest know before hand, not when they show up. Invitation was the choice word I used, but put it on the menu card...I don't care. Secondly I don't want the responsiblity of having drunk people driving once they leave my reception, so I'm NOT having an open bar the entire reception. I'm only serving alcohol during the cocktail hour. And that is a compromise to a "cash bar". Third this is MY WEDDING, not urs or urs, or hers either. I'm going to do what is best for me, my family, and my budget. This is a public forum where I thought grown people could share their thoughts and ideas, but apparently I was mistaken because we have the Etiquette Police in the house!!!
    @cidefi

    Please don't pretend you are trying to save drunk people from themselves. You want to switch to a cash bar because you don't want to pay to properly host your guests.

    If I'm misjudging you, I apologize. If the reason you are switching to a cash bar (and therefore rudely making your guests foot the bill for their own thank you party) is because you're worried about people driving drunk, then I have good news for you! You do NOT need to switch to a cash bar. Because having a cash bar would not stop this.

    If there are people that you are sooo concerned would not be able to control their drinking and would get plastered enough to drive home drunk (without your gracious "help" of saving them from themselves by charging them for alcohol, of course), then obviously there are some guests on your list that might have some degree of drinking problem. If they need to get drunk that badly, they'll continue to buy alcohol, even if it's from a cash bar.
    The beauty is if you have an open bar, your bartenders will know to cut people off, and hopefully your guests that would do this would also have friends that would know when to stop getting them drinks.

    People who are going to get that plastered and stupid will find a way to do it anyway, so you might as well properly host your guests.


    And here's something you might not have thought about...

    If you honestly have guests that you could see causing a problem, imagine how drunk they might get during cocktail hour. If they know you're going to stop being a good hostess after cocktail hour they might stock up and get completely smashed very early on, while the alcohol is free.

    If you had an open bar all night, guests would pace themselves. But buy shoving the only proper hosting within an hour period, you run the risk of guests drinking way more than they normally would, in a very short period of time.

    Stay clear of anyone that looks a little wobbly. I hear vomit is hard to get out of a wedding dress.

    APDSS22grumbledoreRebeccaB88
  • cidefi said:
    I completely understand what type of forum this is. I just never dreamed that u people could be such bitches!!! I mean really there is a huge difference in helping people vs telling them what to do with their wedding. I wrote about my own personal experiences and you all just attacked!! I mean come on the wedding ninjas are not gonna kill somebody for being tacky at their own event. Every person in here is an individual with their own ideas about how they want their day to go. And yes we're all in here trying to get a better understanding of the right way to it. But geez calm down!!! And stop making people (me) feel like their (I'm) being attacked because my ideas don't match urs.
    @knotporscha
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    ShesSoColdBlue_BirdSTARMOON44grumbledore
  • Thank you for notifying me. @cidefi you have a private message.
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why do people think that they're being attacked when we say their idea is rude and they should host guests properly but they are in no way attacking us calling us names?

    Also, pretty sure the etiquette ninjas was my idea from the labels aren't such a bad breach of etiquette thread like a month ago.

    Congrats @grumbledore for stickydom.


    grumbledore
  • cidefi said:
    I completely understand what type of forum this is. I just never dreamed that u people could be such bitches!!! I mean really there is a huge difference in helping people vs telling them what to do with their wedding. I wrote about my own personal experiences and you all just attacked!! I mean come on the wedding ninjas are not gonna kill somebody for being tacky at their own event. Every person in here is an individual with their own ideas about how they want their day to go. And yes we're all in here trying to get a better understanding of the right way to it. But geez calm down!!! And stop making people (me) feel like their (I'm) being attacked because my ideas don't match urs.

    At least you can admit what you're doing is extremely tacky (and rude). Next step is the text speak....

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

  • @acove2006 ftw

    I have a cousin who insists on writing like this on FB.  She is 7 years older than me.  It's embarrassing.

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    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @acove2006 ftw

    I have a cousin who insists on writing like this on FB.  She is 7 years older than me.  It's embarrassing.

    image
    Back in my last year of college I had a professor that had to tell her students to not use text language in their reports.  Apparently there were many students who would use u for you and ur for your in their papers.  I just sat there shaking my head because I was so dumbfounded at the thought.

    [Deleted User]
  • @grumbledore....okay I'm embarrassed, what's ftw mean? lol

    @maggie0829 that's pretty said. I knew it was time to stop the text speak while texting when I started saying "l-o-l" when actually speaking. I still "lol" a bit too much on forums (obviously) but have seriously toned down my craptastic texting ways. But if a teacher had to tell me to stop, a professor at that, I would just tell myself to jump off a bridge for being that stupid.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

  • acove2006 said:

    @grumbledore....okay I'm embarrassed, what's ftw mean? lol

    @maggie0829 that's pretty said. I knew it was time to stop the text speak while texting when I started saying "l-o-l" when actually speaking. I still "lol" a bit too much on forums (obviously) but have seriously toned down my craptastic texting ways. But if a teacher had to tell me to stop, a professor at that, I would just tell myself to jump off a bridge for being that stupid.

    For the win.  Something I picked up from my little brother.  :)

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    NYCMercedes
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