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Etiquette

Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

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Re: Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    cidefi said:
    Well @acove2006 thanks for ur concern, but its not really needed. If I had to choose, I would rather my guest get drunk before dinner, have a chance to sober up and leave my reception in tact, then to have people over drink for 4 or 5 hours, leave my reception and kill somebody!! If people r gonna over drink their gonna do regradless to when i serve alcohol. But it eases my mind to know that they had a meal and time to get sober before leaving.

    Yet if a guest loads up knowing there's no alcohol after this and then leaves at the end of dinner cos there is no more alcohol and they do want to drink/party more, they're still going home drunk/loaded.  There is no guarantee that they will stay long enough to sober up.  

    There's also the added danger of people binge drinking much more in 1 hour to get drunk than they would have over 4-5 hours leading to possible alcohol poisoning before dinner.  They won't be driving to kill anyone else, but that doesn't mean they can't be in danger themselves.  I understand that you're not changing your plans, but just giving you something else to think about
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    grumbledoreBlue_Birdperdonami
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    SKPM said:
    "Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first!"
    This, exactly, has my vote. Ridiculous how common it's becoming around here (and presumably in real life).
    I vote for this too.
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    SKPM said:
    "Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first!"
    This, exactly, has my vote. Ridiculous how common it's becoming around here (and presumably in real life).
    I like this one. Ok @grumbledore, get to it! ;)

  • Alright folks I'll see what I can do.  :)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    LondonLisaNYCMercedes
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    @cidefi, it's not that we're trying to attack you on how you post.  Your posts are just hard to understand with the sentence structure and lack of some grammar.  We can respond to you better if we know what you're saying.

    Viczaesar
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mobkaz said:
    cidefi said:
    cidefi said:
    I want to apologize for disrespecting everyone yesterday by using that very unnice word. It was very immature and uncalled for from me. I was frustrated and felt attacked by very judgemental people. I do realize that this is an Etiquette forum, that there r very proper ways to do things and rules to follow. But I don't come here and participate to end up feeling attacked. Weddings to me r very personal, and that rules r meant to be guidelines that can be and do usually change according to the couple. I am an older bride to be, so I feel differently about about certain things and situations. I handle them differently from someone who might be 20 years younger then me, and this is not my 1st marriage, it is however my 1st wedding. I do come here for advice on etiquette and tradition, but I tweek what I find to benefit myself, my FH, and our wedding. I don't need to be corrected on how I type unless it is an grammerical error. I never ever tell another person what to with their wedding, I only try to speak from my experiences and from a "what would I do" point of view. Now I know that some of what I say might not be proper, that people will not always agree with me, but these r just my opinions, and as grown ups I feel like we should be able to agree to disagree. I understand that there r hard core traditionalist in these forums who believe that we should follow all the rules all the time, but I don't feel that way. And I should be able to speak my mind without being attacked. Again I do apologize for my behavior yesterday.



    I don't know why nobody's commented on this yet, but you did absolutely have a wedding before. You got married; you had to have a wedding to do so. Getting married = wedding. It is not the dress and party that makes a wedding, but the act of marriage. I am sorry you consider the party the more important part. That makes me sad for you.

    Also, you sure don't act like someone 20 years older. You type and react like a middle-schooler.
    Yes I had a wedding before but I did not plan anything, my 1st husband. It was a very simple JOTP cermony.



    I mentioned it in my post ^^ above.  @cidefi has made the choice to put her venue and gift guest list above the hospitality of her guests.  For this wedding-not marriage, she is inviting 400 guests.  She has also made it clear that she basically picks and chooses whatever "benefits she and her FI" because it is..........say it if you know it...........her special day!

    image
    But she totes is all about the etiquette!  Just ask her.  She's probably not using address stickers, which obviously outweighs any other shitty etiquette choices she makes.  May the etiquette gods be ever in her favor!



    grumbledoreBlue_Bird
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2013

    Agreed!

  • This thread really has more to do with people being against alcohol consumption than anything else.  I guess we should all limit the amount of butter people put on their mashed potatoes as well.  Hey, it's my day after all! 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    This thread really has more to do with people being against alcohol consumption than anything else.  I guess we should all limit the amount of butter people put on their mashed potatoes as well.  Hey, it's my day after all! 
    @Brides5151 - Um, what?

    WTF?

    PrettyGirlLostBlue_BirdPolarBearFitz
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013
    This thread really has more to do with people being against alcohol consumption than anything else.  I guess we should all limit the amount of butter people put on their mashed potatoes as well.  Hey, it's my day after all! 


    Alcohol is a food group for me. We are against making guests pay for it.

    I don't undertand what that has to do with butter and mashed potatoes (although I am pro butter).


    PrettyGirlLostBlue_BirdPolarBearFitz
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2013
  • Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
  • (I really do mean an informal party by the way - as in invitations by email/Facebook and seeing who turns up!)
  • oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!

    If you hosting an event, which from your description it sounds like, guests shouldn't have to pay for anything. You don't have to serve alcohol at your party or you can just serve beer and wine.

    From my understanding if you'll simply be going to a bar or restaurant and say "Hey guys, we'll be at (place) at (time). Feel free to swing by and join us!" then it's not a hosted event and you're not responsible for paying anything.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    Liatris2010Blue_Bird
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!

    Not on my watch.  Following a wake, church, or cemetery service, when we invite the gathering to a luncheon, it is absolutely on our tab.  Whenever you host anything that celebrates something specifically to/for you, the proper and appropriate thing to do is host completely.

    You may not be expecting gifts, but when the point of a party is to celebrate an event and not just a random Saturday night, many people will bring gifts.  I think anyone that says they would be shocked to see people bring gifts would be lying.  And I am curious as to how your invitation will be phrased.  It sounds as if you only want "the young'uns" to attend, but you are inviting parents and family.  Invite only those you want to attend, and host those people properly.  You don't have to offer a full bar.  Host what you can afford.  Period.

    And asking ANYONE to pay is simply wrong.  It almost sounds as if you are implying that if you thought parents would actually attend this "night for the young'uns", you would consider asking them to pay.  
    KeptInStitches
  • oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
    I don't think people paying their own bar tab at an after-party is a big deal. At my first wedding we had an open bar. My second wedding will be the same. But when we get back from our DW we are throwing an after-party, an at-home reception type party. It will be at one of our friend's bars and will be semi-private but during normal operating hours. We will be hosting signature drinks, n/a bevs and food. If a guest would prefer something different from what is hosted, they are welcome to purchase their own. 

  • oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
    I don't think people paying their own bar tab at an after-party is a big deal. At my first wedding we had an open bar. My second wedding will be the same. But when we get back from our DW we are throwing an after-party, an at-home reception type party. It will be at one of our friend's bars and will be semi-private but during normal operating hours. We will be hosting signature drinks, n/a bevs and food. If a guest would prefer something different from what is hosted, they are welcome to purchase their own. 


    First, what the OP has described is not an after party. An after party immediately follows a reception and is usually very informal, more of a "hey we'll be here after the wedding!" type of thing. Bride and groom wouldn't be responsible for covering the entire tab in that situation.

    What you, and the OP, describe is simply a party you are throwing to celebrate your marriage (which shouldn't include anything typical of a wedding reception like cake cutting, tosses, fancy intros, etc). Since both would be hosted parties guests shouldn't pay for anything. Whatever you offer them is what they get. If that means a few signature drinks then the option to pay for anyting else shouldn't be available, or at least advertised, unless that bar would be in a completely different room. But even then it shouldn't be advertised. Same goes for food and regular drinks. This is your responsibility when you choose to host a party. To host it properly.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    PrettyGirlLostKeptInStitchesNYCBruinsouthernbelle0915
  • acove2006 said:
    oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
    I don't think people paying their own bar tab at an after-party is a big deal. At my first wedding we had an open bar. My second wedding will be the same. But when we get back from our DW we are throwing an after-party, an at-home reception type party. It will be at one of our friend's bars and will be semi-private but during normal operating hours. We will be hosting signature drinks, n/a bevs and food. If a guest would prefer something different from what is hosted, they are welcome to purchase their own. 


    First, what the OP has described is not an after party. An after party immediately follows a reception and is usually very informal, more of a "hey we'll be here after the wedding!" type of thing. Bride and groom wouldn't be responsible for covering the entire tab in that situation.

    What you, and the OP, describe is simply a party you are throwing to celebrate your marriage (which shouldn't include anything typical of a wedding reception like cake cutting, tosses, fancy intros, etc). Since both would be hosted parties guests shouldn't pay for anything. Whatever you offer them is what they get. If that means a few signature drinks then the option to pay for anyting else shouldn't be available, or at least advertised, unless that bar would be in a completely different room. But even then it shouldn't be advertised. Same goes for food and regular drinks. This is your responsibility when you choose to host a party. To host it properly.

    In our case, as I've stated above: food, na bev and signature drinks are hosted. Our at-home party (official name not decided at this time) will be held in a bar, in a semi-private area during normal business hours, again, already stated. Our menu cards will provide information on what is being hosted (food, sig drinks, na bev). Our friends and family are all bright enough to figure out that if they don't like what is being hosted they can head to the bar and buy what they'd prefer instead, this would not need to be advertised. I like giving people options. I'm personally not a fan of cash bars. I didn't have one at my first wedding nor will we at our DW next year. I've hosted plenty of parties in my 37 years on earth, most of which were epic, all of them fun. I do not fear that this one will be any different. As for the OP, she has many of the same choices in hosting her after-party as my FI do. She can take or leave my perspective. 

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    acove2006 said:
    oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
    I don't think people paying their own bar tab at an after-party is a big deal. At my first wedding we had an open bar. My second wedding will be the same. But when we get back from our DW we are throwing an after-party, an at-home reception type party. It will be at one of our friend's bars and will be semi-private but during normal operating hours. We will be hosting signature drinks, n/a bevs and food. If a guest would prefer something different from what is hosted, they are welcome to purchase their own. 


    First, what the OP has described is not an after party. An after party immediately follows a reception and is usually very informal, more of a "hey we'll be here after the wedding!" type of thing. Bride and groom wouldn't be responsible for covering the entire tab in that situation.

    What you, and the OP, describe is simply a party you are throwing to celebrate your marriage (which shouldn't include anything typical of a wedding reception like cake cutting, tosses, fancy intros, etc). Since both would be hosted parties guests shouldn't pay for anything. Whatever you offer them is what they get. If that means a few signature drinks then the option to pay for anyting else shouldn't be available, or at least advertised, unless that bar would be in a completely different room. But even then it shouldn't be advertised. Same goes for food and regular drinks. This is your responsibility when you choose to host a party. To host it properly.

    In our case, as I've stated above: food, na bev and signature drinks are hosted. Our at-home party (official name not decided at this time) will be held in a bar, in a semi-private area during normal business hours, again, already stated. Our menu cards will provide information on what is being hosted (food, sig drinks, na bev). Our friends and family are all bright enough to figure out that if they don't like what is being hosted they can head to the bar and buy what they'd prefer instead, this would not need to be advertised. I like giving people options. I'm personally not a fan of cash bars. I didn't have one at my first wedding nor will we at our DW next year. I've hosted plenty of parties in my 37 years on earth, most of which were epic, all of them fun. I do not fear that this one will be any different. As for the OP, she has many of the same choices in hosting her after-party as my FI do. She can take or leave my perspective. 
    As has been noted throughout the thread, cash bars are not a polite option and should never be an option at all.  If you don't want to pay for your guests' drinks, don't make them available to your guests.  Only make available what you're willing to pay for.  They're not entitled to alcohol regardless of who pays, but they are entitled to not have to pay for anything at your wedding.
    KeptInStitchesPrettyGirlLostaurorajanettesouthernbelle0915
  • Jen4948 said:
    acove2006 said:
    oriolus said:
    Can someone please advise what to do when we are having a very small family wedding at my fiance's parents house? Obviously the wine will flow freely here, but we are planning on hiring a pub and possibly a hog roast a couple of weeks later in our home city where we could invite all our friends to an informal 'yay we got married' party. I completely agree about cash bars being a no-no at actual weddings, but to an after-party? We wouldn't be expecting gifts and no one would be travelling more than a couple of hours so it's not really a 'thanking' situation... When people do similar things for birthdays/wakes everyone automatically pays for their own. There's no way we could afford a full bar for all our friends for the entire night, parents/family may not even be there as it's a night for the young'uns so asking them to pay would be pretty unreasonable, and going dry is absolutely not an option!
    I don't think people paying their own bar tab at an after-party is a big deal. At my first wedding we had an open bar. My second wedding will be the same. But when we get back from our DW we are throwing an after-party, an at-home reception type party. It will be at one of our friend's bars and will be semi-private but during normal operating hours. We will be hosting signature drinks, n/a bevs and food. If a guest would prefer something different from what is hosted, they are welcome to purchase their own. 


    First, what the OP has described is not an after party. An after party immediately follows a reception and is usually very informal, more of a "hey we'll be here after the wedding!" type of thing. Bride and groom wouldn't be responsible for covering the entire tab in that situation.

    What you, and the OP, describe is simply a party you are throwing to celebrate your marriage (which shouldn't include anything typical of a wedding reception like cake cutting, tosses, fancy intros, etc). Since both would be hosted parties guests shouldn't pay for anything. Whatever you offer them is what they get. If that means a few signature drinks then the option to pay for anyting else shouldn't be available, or at least advertised, unless that bar would be in a completely different room. But even then it shouldn't be advertised. Same goes for food and regular drinks. This is your responsibility when you choose to host a party. To host it properly.

    In our case, as I've stated above: food, na bev and signature drinks are hosted. Our at-home party (official name not decided at this time) will be held in a bar, in a semi-private area during normal business hours, again, already stated. Our menu cards will provide information on what is being hosted (food, sig drinks, na bev). Our friends and family are all bright enough to figure out that if they don't like what is being hosted they can head to the bar and buy what they'd prefer instead, this would not need to be advertised. I like giving people options. I'm personally not a fan of cash bars. I didn't have one at my first wedding nor will we at our DW next year. I've hosted plenty of parties in my 37 years on earth, most of which were epic, all of them fun. I do not fear that this one will be any different. As for the OP, she has many of the same choices in hosting her after-party as my FI do. She can take or leave my perspective. 
    As has been noted throughout the thread, cash bars are not a polite option and should never be an option at all.  If you don't want to pay for your guests' drinks, don't make them available to your guests.  Only make available what you're willing to pay for.  They're not entitled to alcohol regardless of who pays, but they are entitled to not have to pay for anything at your wedding.
    @Jen4948, at the risk of sounding really bitchy, "you" who? I'm assuming you're referring directly to me because you quoted my last post, but I hope you're using the general "you" to needlessly reiterate the fact that cash bars are rude at weddings to the masses. I'll state this in plain english a third and final time and we'll see if it sticks: we're having an open bar at our wedding. I like open bars at weddings SO MUCH I had one at my first wedding in 2000 and am keeping the tradition alive next year. We are then, upon returning to the US, throwing a party (not a wedding) where we'll host food, na bev and signature drinks. This party, as I've mentioned twice now, will be held in a public place that serves alcohol during its normal business hours. There is absolutely NO WAY for us to stop any sober adult over the age of 21 from purchasing something different than what is hosted should they choose to. I'll agree all day long that cash bars at weddings are rude. I'll also state that I've lived in VERY different places across the US and what is regionally acceptable varies from place to place regardless of its etiquette ramifications.  I'm also not the type to get up in arms if I end up at a wedding with a cash bar, nor would I EVER show up to a wedding without cash on me because I think people who don't tip their bartenders regardless of whether their hosts pay for their drinks or not are even MORE rude and clueless and tacky than people who throw weddings with cash bars! 

    AroundTheBlock


  • @Jen4948, at the risk of sounding really bitchy, "you" who? I'm assuming you're referring directly to me because you quoted my last post, but I hope you're using the general "you" to needlessly reiterate the fact that cash bars are rude at weddings to the masses. I'll state this in plain english a third and final time and we'll see if it sticks: we're having an open bar at our wedding. I like open bars at weddings SO MUCH I had one at my first wedding in 2000 and am keeping the tradition alive next year. We are then, upon returning to the US, throwing a party (not a wedding) where we'll host food, na bev and signature drinks. This party, as I've mentioned twice now, will be held in a public place that serves alcohol during its normal business hours. There is absolutely NO WAY for us to stop any sober adult over the age of 21 from purchasing something different than what is hosted should they choose to. I'll agree all day long that cash bars at weddings are rude. I'll also state that I've lived in VERY different places across the US and what is regionally acceptable varies from place to place regardless of its etiquette ramifications.  I'm also not the type to get up in arms if I end up at a wedding with a cash bar, nor would I EVER show up to a wedding without cash on me because I think people who don't tip their bartenders regardless of whether their hosts pay for their drinks or not are even MORE rude and clueless and tacky than people who throw weddings with cash bars! 







    Just FYI the hosts of the party are responsible for tipping bartenders. I'm not saying that it's not ok to tip them extra for really great service, but assuming you must tip them because otherwise they won't get tipped at all is to assume that the hosts are really quite rude/cheap.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    perdonami
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @STBMrsEverhart

    You said in the post I quoted that if your friends don't like what you are hosting, they are welcome to buy drinks from the bar.  That's a cash bar, and again, it should never be an option.  It doesn't matter who "you" is.
    PrettyGirlLostsouthernbelle0915[Deleted User]grumbledore
  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited November 2013
    Jen4948 said:
    @STBMrsEverhart

    You said in the post I quoted that if your friends don't like what you are hosting, they are welcome to buy drinks from the bar.  That's a cash bar, and again, it should never be an option.  It doesn't matter who "you" is.
    She's have an event in a private room at a bar. She's hosting a number of beverages, including some alcoholic beverages, but she can't prevent her guests from going out to the main bar. Hopefully they will respect what she's hosting, but there's nothing she can do to stop it short of hosting every beverage the bar offers. Let's not argue over semantics here, she's not having a cash bar.

    Are we supposed to tell brides now that if they choose to have an event at any venue that offers a separate bar to the public (bar, restaurant, hotel) that they have to host every option that bar provides?
    Anniversary
    NYCBruinPrettyGirlLostperdonami
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2013
    ashleyep said:
    Jen4948 said:
    @STBMrsEverhart

    You said in the post I quoted that if your friends don't like what you are hosting, they are welcome to buy drinks from the bar.  That's a cash bar, and again, it should never be an option.  It doesn't matter who "you" is.
    She's have an event in a private room at a bar. She's hosting a number of beverages, including some alcoholic beverages, but she can't prevent her guests from going out to the main bar. Hopefully they will respect what she's hosting, but there's nothing she can do to stop it short of hosting every beverage the bar offers. Let's not argue over semantics here, she's not having a cash bar.

    Are we supposed to tell brides now that if they choose to have an event at any venue that offers a separate bar to the public (bar, restaurant, hotel) that they have to host every option that bar provides?
    No, but I think part of being a good host involves not putting guests in the situation where the hosts don't want to pay for drinks, but they're available around the corner at the bar if the guests pay for them.  It's something to keep in mind when looking for venues-not to choose a place that will still try to entice the guests to open their wallets when the hosts don't want to pay for whatever themselves.
    grumbledore
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