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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
princessbella323
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Anyone else regret their bridesmaid descision?
I had my sister as my moh, and my little sister as jr bridesmaid, I had my husbands sister as a brdiesmaid (who I love) but then I also had my other sister in law (husbands brothers wife) because we were friends before I met my husband. Unfortunately towards the wedding we kinda stopped getting along; she got pregnant and stopped wanting to help out at all, (which I understand) but then she came to the wedding and was rude and had a bad attitude attitude all day, and I barely have talked to her since. I now wish I would have chosen my cousin over her, and am not sure why I did. I guess I wanted to include her since she was part of the reason dh and I met.
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Re: Anyone else regret their bridesmaid descision?
You were wrong to expect anyone to help you, other than your husband. It was nobody's job but yours. Additionally, she is/was pregnant. Maybe her attitude was poor because she either felt poorly or sensed your displeasure with her. If you wanted your cousin, you should have asked her. You could have had both girls. It's not your SIL's fault. Get over your own self-caused regret and enjoy being married to your husband. Enjoy the new little life that's about to become part of your new family.
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I've had to replace every bridesmaid except my MOH and I was ready to replace her. I wish I would have waited longer than 2 hrs after the proposal to pick my wedding party.
I agree with this. I know some brides go overboard turning their bridesmaids into slaves, but when I have been a bridesmaid myself I tried to make myself as helpful as possible, and I would imagine if I had zero interest in helping out I would also bow out of the wedding party. Saying a bridesmaids only requirement is to show up in a pretty dress and take pictures sounds very cold. It's like a sister or mother. Maybe they aren't required to do anything but... you would imagine if they are close they would want to...
same boat here... i got engaged and immediately said to one of my fiance's and my better mutual friends "of course i would love you to be a bridesmaid!" in conversation following the engagement. as it turns out her BF is the best man, which is now possibly the only reason i'll keep her in the wedding party. we were becoming close friends but we have begun hanging out less and less, and we literally do not speak out side of times when we get together as couples or at events where the whole group of friends will be. i feel like we really don't know each other as well as i thought, certainly not well enough to expect her to know what i like or need during this hectic wedding planning phase. the other bridesmaids include my sister (MOH) who is out of state and is still helping in every possible way, by BFF who is trying her best to be pregnant around the time of my wedding, which is totally fine, and she is still helping in every way possible.... i have a private bridal party facebook group to keep all the girls including moms and other friends who are helping, in the loop on the planning, ideas, etc. this one who is local, is the last to see or comment, if at all, on all of that. she has no input other than she can not wear the dresses i have chosen for them to choose from because of her size. I am just worried that she does not really want to be in the wedding and does not know how to say she would rather pass. is there some way to bring this up and give her an out, without offending her if i'm way off base?? =/ sorry for the rant....
I've had to replace every bridesmaid except my MOH and I was ready to replace her. I wish I would have waited longer than 2 hrs after the proposal to pick my wedding party."
NYC was not harsh in the least. Your bridal party is meant to stand next to you in support of your marriage on your wedding day. They are not required to throw you parties and help plan your wedding. Yes, most will do those things, but some won't and they are not wrong or mean for it. Brides shouldn't have any expectations of their bridesmaids except for them getting the dress (that fits their budget) and showing up the day of. To regret picking someone because they didn't help enough (and god forbid pregnant) is pretty crappy.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
You're missing the entire point. You should never expect anything from your bridesmaids. Period. So there should be no list of expectations or requirements upon asking. Because again, you shouldn't have any expectations of them.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Sweetie, I have spent time on these boards, although I generally avoid it because too many posters think they are above everyone else and that they are the be all and end all of the rules of "etiquette". No one ever has constructive advice, it's always catty talking down to others. I'm not sure what kind of "friends" you have, but if you are under the impression that friends are not supposed to help each other out, it might be time to look for new ones.
As for why people want their bridesmaids to help, I live across the country from where I got married and only got to come home 3 times before my wedding. It was nice to have them help me make my centerpieces and put together my hotel bags. Plus, they wanted to help, like a good bridesmaid should.