Chit Chat

So this just happened (…grab a bevie & enjoy the full recap ;)

SmileDamnitSmileDamnit member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited May 2014 in Chit Chat
Came home to a wedding invitation from an old "family friend" of FI. Knew it it was coming and already anticipating a shit show because said friend is a hot, hot mess. But I had NOOOOO idea just how bad it was going to be. Grab a glass of wine, sit back and behold this etiquette train wreck….

1. Back of the envelop has a sticker that says they messed up on the postage so peeps will need to add an extra stamp to cover the mailing of the RSVP.
    (defendable since postage just increased, but tacky nonetheless)
2. First thing in the envelope is a 5x7 photo of the bride and groom ~ engagement photo perhaps??
    (it's actually a decent pic, but screams AW)
3. Invitation states it's a 6 pm ceremony and no mention of reception &/or dinner afterwards, but…
4. There is an insert that states "no children under ten/cocktail attire/there will be a cash bar available"
    (surely they are feeding guests, given said cash bar...right??)
5. Second insert is their registry information
    (yes, we'll get you a gift. no need to fret)
6. and a THIRD insert stating that in lieu of gifts, they have chosen to register for gift certificates to their venue to 'help them make their wedding the most special day in their lives'!!
    (so you want a gift. no, wait…you want a gift card…no, wait….you want us to pay for your wedding??)

Now, I know I'm new on TK, and I am **FAR** from an etiquette guru, but in my short tenure I've learned a looooot and I know that there is so, so, SO much wrong here...I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry? Really, I think I should pat myself on the back for trying my damnedest to host a wedding that is worthy of our guests, and thank all you wonderful Knotties who have unknowingly helped to guide me in planning and see the etiquette light. IOU all a stiff drink.

ETA - sorry about funky formatting

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Re: So this just happened (…grab a bevie & enjoy the full recap ;)

  • I don't even know where to begin.

    I agree with declining. Probably not going to get food; being told what to wear; and being told I need to pay for someone else's wedding? No thanks. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a thinly-veiled PPD.


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  • I would go to watch the show but make sure I had a coulpe of granola bars in my purse! ;)
  • My head hurts from reading that. I think more wine would help..... Please go and let us know how it turns out and I agree that you should post pictures of it (with identifying information removed) so we can laugh and so others can see what not to do....
  • pinkcow13 said:
    I still cannot get over the fact that they want people to pay for their wedding. It's thing to blatantly ask for money, have some sort of honey fund, but gift certificates for the venue?! This is just a hot mess. And just when I thought people couldn't get any tackier....
    Seriously. I kind of feel like we're being punked or something.
    I don't even know where to begin.

    I agree with declining. Probably not going to get food; being told what to wear; and being told I need to pay for someone else's wedding? No thanks. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a thinly-veiled PPD.
    I would agree on the PPD angle…if we didn't know them so well. FI's parents have been close friends with her parents for 40+ years (think annual vacas & all holidays together for decades). And that's the kicker! Parents are such good folks and I can't help but imagine how appalled they are by all of this. They offered both their kids the choice between paying for college or paying for wedding and the bride chose school (which I suppose deserves kudos), so at the end of the day they don't really have a say. THEE only possible plus in attending is that bride's dad is a huge wine connoisseur so he'll likely share (read: sneak...with those of us hiding in the corner) a veeerrrry good bottle…or three. 
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  • I didn't even know venues offered gift certificates. And what happens if try get one at the wedding and don't see it until after the wedding when they should have made their final payment?

    I am however sad I had finished my wine right before I started reading.
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  • afox007 said:
    I didn't even know venues offered gift certificates. And what happens if try get one at the wedding and don't see it until after the wedding when they should have made their final payment? I am however sad I had finished my wine right before I started reading.

    If it's at a restaurant or hotel they might offer GC.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    afox007 said:
    I didn't even know venues offered gift certificates. And what happens if try get one at the wedding and don't see it until after the wedding when they should have made their final payment? I am however sad I had finished my wine right before I started reading.

    If it's at a restaurant or hotel they might offer GC.
    Seems like a logical guess, right?? …Wrong! It's an old school wedding venue (think 4 different "settings" b/w the gazebo, the water feature, the alter, the garden). I honestly don't get it from a true logistical standpoint?? 

    And I agree, @afox007…more wine can only help. 
    Maybe? 
    Probably not.
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  • I need wine now, please.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • And for the record, while we will be attending the cluster fuck, I REFUSE to buy a flipping' gift card to help fund the most special day of your life (…particularly because the day will be oozing pure tacky). I normally will give money, but I feel out of principal I must buy off the "real" registry in this case. 

    Oh, did I mention that bride is obsessed with hello kitty? I will shit myself if that turns out to be the theme.
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  • AzAnnie said:
    I would go to watch the show but make sure I had a coulpe of granola bars in my purse! ;)
    And a flask.
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  • That wedding sounds awful. I mean, as a kid I apparently went to some pretty terrible weddings etiquette wise, but asking people to pay for your venue is a whole other level than potluck weddings/money trees.
  • I need wine now, please.
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    ~*~*~*~*~

  • I told my etiquette-clueless Husband about all the stuff you named, and even HE thought it was awful.  When a clueless guy recognizes your etiquette fails... you know you messed up big time!


    So let me get this straight, you want me to help pay for your wedding, AND pay for my own drinks? 

    SaveSave
  • monkeysip said:
    I told my etiquette-clueless Husband about all the stuff you named, and even HE thought it was awful.  When a clueless guy recognizes your etiquette fails... you know you messed up big time!

    Exactly! FI said the said thing!
    cruffino said:
    At this wedding, in my purse you would find a) a flask, b) crackers, c) a notebook to record all of the gems that this shitshow will produce.
    ...and d) the gopro I got for Christmas. I think the footage could go viral.
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  • She would still get a boxed gift from me, I am NOT paying for your crappy wedding. Maybe if she upgraded her bar from cash to open..? Nahh, still not even then.

    Add on: How are you going to ask guests to pay for your wedding, and choose a CB? Makes no sense. Zero.Nada.Zilch.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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  • PolarBearFitzPolarBearFitz member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    This is the most magical of impending shit shows I have heard of and I am totally pleased that you are going to attend so you can indulge us all with an update later.

    What a freaking wedding bag of pandora BSC tricks... >_<
  • Oh dear lord! I don't think I would be able to stomach going. But it definitely makes for an amusing report! I think a nice glass of Moscato is in order.
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